Hi guys, this is my first time writing a Gravity Falls fan fiction. Whoa. Now that I think about it, I haven't written a complete fan fiction for a few months now. I hope you guys will enjoy reading as much as I enjoyed writing it. Some constructive criticism in order for improvement to be possible for future fictions (fan and nonfan) would be great help for this young writer's confidence to be pulled up from the dumps. XD HAHA.
I wanted to try and imagine what if Bill became a girl. I'm happy I wrote her/him almost exactly as I imagined it! /victory hops/ To the people going to be disappointed by the different characters' OOC-ness (is that term still in use? XD), I'm sorry. I figured that they're in an AU, so it would be okay to tweak a few aspects but I tried to stick to how I really know them from the show. The usual disclaimers like "I don't own the characters, the show and etc." apply. Also posted on AO3. (Meh, I just wanted to see if it's good enough.)
Should I also post The Rendezvous' floor plan or nah?
"Heya, gorgeous."
8-Ball's flirting was cut off by a: "Fuck you, 8-ball, I'm not in the mood for your flirting games. You very well know it's me."
Bill Cipher was having a bad week. Usually he could jive with those jokes by his friends (He really did not think of them as friends; more like followers, henchmen.); replying with a wink, a thank you and fake flirting with them. He loved the attention that's why he puts up with it. Well, if you're a 20 year old, with a 36-24-36 and flowing blonde locks, who likes wearing yellow and black dresses that hugged your body, you're sure as Hell to earn plenty of stares and glances, even from the human flesh bags. But right now he's not having it.
"Take a chill pill, Lia…" 8-Ball was far from his original form of a green lizard with huge ears, and actually looks handsome when he winks. Right now, he kind of looks like a well-toned guy wearing a white dress shirt, black neck tie, and grass green apron who is bald and tan-skinned.
"You disgust me," he—she groans and asks for her usual. A margarita.
"Had a boring day again, huh?" 8-ball handed her the drink. He leans; his elbows on the counter, interlocked hands supporting the weight of his head.
"Boring day, boring week, boring life…" Lia mutters. "Does it matter?"
Her deals are getting less interesting. She was getting tired of it. Yes, her clients were rotten to the core and all but… there was no thrill in doing their dirty work anymore. Going after small fry meat bags; it was getting old and boring.
"By the way, it's been months since you've last changed appearance. No one's caught you yet?"
"I feel like it. At least being a female is the most interesting thing for me as of the moment. Those monthly pains are hilarious! I dislike the mess though," she takes a sip from her drink and groans. "Ugh, I don't care anymore if I get caught by those doughnut-loving law enforcers. They're useless anyway. I can always break out or something. Maybe I could turn it into an interesting encounter too, if I ever get caught."
Lia, stares at the cocktail glass, swirling the pink liquid around and around and around.
"Any plans on drinking that?" 8-Ball raised a brow at her.
"Shut up, 8-Ball, don't you have anything better to do besides sticking your nose in people's businesses? You're the bartender here, mix some drinks or something!"
8-Ball knew better than to cross Bill—Lia when she's bored. She gets easily irritated when she can't find something interesting to do. And when she's irritated, you might lose all your teeth. Not because of a jab to the mouth though.
"Okay, alright, alright! Backing off, backing off, geez…" He throws his hands up in surrender and moves away from the counter.
Lia kept on muttering under her breath some curses. It keeps her calm. Plus, it keeps the lower demons away; they annoy her. She doesn't want to waste her energy on those filthy—
A different scent was put into the mix of demon musk swirling inside the building.
Dipper Pines enters The Rendezvous for the first time. He could swear everyone was staring at him for a second there but it seems he was just imagining it. He suddenly felt self-conscious, but he's hungry and tired from the trip to this city. Not to mention lazy to look for another place to crash. Timidity, he could accommodate later. He settles on the first empty table he sees and immediately grabs the menu and buries himself in it.
Now Lia had an idea.
"Hey, 8-Ball, can I wait for that bag of bones for a while?"
"So you've found someone interesting, haven't you?" 8-Ball was relieved that someone has finally captured Lia's attention. She was scaring customers away from the bar.
"So it seems," she smiles at him, eyes bright with mischief.
"Yeah, sure. I don't mind."
"I don't care if you mind or not. I would've done it anyway if you had said no."
"Right."
She drinks the rest of her margarita in one gulp. As she stood up to move towards her target, she engulfs herself in blue flames. She comes out of it unscathed, and dressed as a waitress of the establishment. There is one little difference between her and the real waitresses; her high-heeled boots.
Dipper could hear a sharp thumping of heels on the polished wooden floor echoing throughout the establishment; it sounded nearer with each step. He looked up when it halted and saw a blonde waitress standing before him. Only one of her eyes is visible, the other was obscured by her bangs. She seemed out of place, like she is not supposed to wear that uniform… I'm imagining things. Of course waitresses here are supposed to wear that uniform…right?
Ever since he decided to take a short, self-finding road trip, he wasn't sure of even the little things.
He needed to get away for a while. Traveling always seemed to help him think. He figured he was relying too much on Mabel to be his anchor, his base of support. Who was he without Mabel? He can't lean on Mabel forever. Not that it's a bad thing to have your sibling around. See? He isn't even sure how to explain it to himself! All he knows is that he and Mabel have their own lives despite being twins. That explanation wasn't so bad, was it? Mabel can't be around for him forever, and he can't be around for Mabel forever. Someday, Mabel might fall in love with a nice guy she'll meet in college, get married with him, have children with him and no matter how much she loves her twin of course she has her own family to raise and all that and Dipper might have his own family to take care of and they won't have time for each other anymore so they have to learn to stand—
Dipper didn't notice it until the waitress cleared her throat, but he was spacing out. He could swear that if he saw his own face right now it'd be as red as a ripe tomato. That's so embarrassing. Now the waitress will think I was staring at her. Staring is rude Dipper.
"Are you ready to order now, sir?" She asked. He could be mistaken but… her tone was excited. What was to be excited about, Dipper wondered.
"Yeah…Um, I'll get some chicken wings and pasta."
"Would you like some drinks for that? I recommend the lemon and cucumber."
"Er, I don't know… I'm not really into cucumbers," he pursed his lips.
"My treat, if you'd allow it, of course." Wait, did she really wink at him?
That was unexpected.
"Sure, I guess," he realizes his laugh sounded weird; must be because he's getting self-conscious again.
Dipper just can't believe it. A cute girl was hitting on him! And he wasn't even doing anything but sit there.
"Okay then, I'll get the kitchens to take your order first, 'cause you're cute."
She walks to the counter and places the order. Her head disappears into the window of the kitchen and yells something to the guys there. Probably keeping to her word and making them take his order first. Dipper takes his eyes off her, which was a bit hard to do, to be honest, as she was pleasing to look at. He figured he'd finish the book he was reading.
What a pleasant surprise for Lia. She could tell that this newcomer was interested in the occult; it showed on the book he just pulled out of his backpack. It was the type of book that occult scholars would read.
Dipper could swear that he saw her standing beside the counter a few minutes ago. And now she's right in front of him, sitting across him, elbows on the table. He didn't hear her high heels tapping on the floor. He must've been so engrossed in the book he was reading that he didn't notice things going on around him. He gasped louder than appropriate at the sight of her.
"Oh, don't mind me; just continue reading," she smiled. "I like cute guys who have reading as one of their hobbies."
"You're just saying that."
"No, I'm not. I really do like them. And oh, would you look at that, your book is about demonology."
Dipper didn't reply to that yet, he was thinking of one that would make a good impression. The silence was about to stretch for a lifetime, but the blonde broke it for him.
"Sorry for not introducing myself; that must be why you are hesitant to talk to me. I'm Lia Cinder," she gave a fake name. A name like 'Bill Cipher' would be too suspicious in this realm for a woman to have. Not that she really minded being seen as suspicious but she wanted to keep her act, just for fun. She held out her hand for a handshake.
"I'm Dipper Pines," he shook her—warm, firm-gripped, and smooth—hand.
"That's not your real name, is it?"
"What makes you think that?"
"Parents wouldn't give their kids names this different. Unless they had a reason, of course, like if it's memorable for them or something."
"How about yours? Does anyone have a surname like 'Cinder' anywhere?" They both laughed. "I don't know if this is the kind of thing you'd consider memorable but, this nickname was given to me because of this," he sets the book he was holding—more like gripping tight—down and lifts his bangs away from his forehead.
"Oh, the Big Dipper," Lia acted to seem surprised. But of course she already knew that birthmark was there. She's a damned telepathic demon, for Hell's sakes! She wouldn't be called the Dream Demon for nothing. "So what's your real name then?"
"Guess," now Dipper was warming up to this. He feels more comfortable and confident. He imitates her; elbows on the table, head supported by his hands and tilted a bit to the side.
"Hm, Cedric."
"Nu-uh."
"Clyde."
"Hm-m," he shakes his head.
"Peter."
"Still, no."
"Tyrone."
"No, but I would have liked to be named that," that was the first time he smiled in days. And the first time Lia saw him smile. He looked cute and handsome. Plus, she wasn't disgusted by it, instead she was amused. All the more reason why she wanted to play with him.
She could tell Dipper was entertained by this exchange. She'd love for this to continue, if only the chef didn't call her. Though it's all for the act, she couldn't help but get a bit mad. Still, she tried to sound sweet. "I'm coming!"
She's going to deal with her anger later.
Lia was skipping to the counter to get Dipper's order. She skipped back to where he is and places the tray of food in front of him. "Here you go!"
Dipper uttered words of thanks as he grabs a chicken wing and eats it.
"What are you, twelve to order this?" She chuckles.
"It was the first one I saw on the menu so I decided to go for it before I changed my mind."
"You've got to try this though. I discovered it outside this city, and decided to tell the management here to try and serve it," she pours a glass for him. No, she didn't put anything in it, yet.
Like she would. No, that's not her style.
Dipper took a sip from the glass, "Mm, it has a weird but nice taste."
"Do you like it?"
"Yeah, I do like it," he sets the glass down on the table. "If you don't mind Lia, would you like to join me here, after your shift? I'd love some company, for a while."
"Sure. If I were to be honest, my shift was about to end when you came in. But when I saw you, I figured 'yeah, I could stay here a while longer,'" that was a lie, of course.
Dipper glowed red at that. A waitress staying, prolonging her shift, for him? This has to be the most ridiculous day he's had so far.
"Wait here, not that you're really going anywhere right? Based on that humongous backpack of yours, is it safe to say that you're a traveler, looking for a place to stay in for the night? We have rooms, so why don't you check in now?" She pointed at the counter near the stairs leading up.
When Dipper looked back at where Lia was supposed to stand, she was gone. Seriously, how does one disappear soundlessly and that fast? He followed her advice and checked in at the counter near the stairs. The inn keeper gave him the key, but he decided he'd finish eating first. He came back to his table, and then three divine-tasting chicken wings later, Lia was back with a plate of potato salad and a glass. She didn't need human sustenance, but she was having too much fun putting up with the act. Plus, her being around scared away other demons from her prey. It amused her. She wasn't bored anymore and wanted to keep it up.
They talked while eating. He told her that he was a student of journalism. He likes writing about the things he sees. His twin sister gave him the idea of starting up a blog. It was only a hobby at first; he eventually got better at it. His relatives encouraged him to take it up as a profession, and here he is now. He was always intrigued by the occult. He liked how his brain is being stimulated to work on mysteries. He wasn't trying to impress her or anything. All the things he was telling her were true.
But she's spouting lies, one after another. She wasn't a student of history. She wasn't an apprentice to a teacher of history who specializes on the history of religions. She wasn't a part-timer in The Rendezvous. She is not a normal human. She is not human at all. (But you, Reader, already knew that.)
It wasn't like Dipper to trust someone this fast. He asked Lia to tell him more about the things she has learned from her teacher about demons but seeing he had to leave the next day, Lia decided she could stay with him for a while. In his room. Alone.
"Aren't you worried that I might not be a trustworthy person to be with alone?" He had to ask.
"Well, are you planning on doing something bad to me?"
"No! Of course not," he blushed at the thought. No, really, he has pure intentions. Nothing sinister.
But Lia's the one who's got plans.
"There. I'm not worried," they entered his room. It had a neat bed and a table near the window with paper and pen. Lia rushed toward the table and grabbed the items on it. She was drawing something now. Meanwhile, Dipper set down his bag and plopped on the bed. He groaned, feeling every ache in his body fully now. Lia joined him; she sat on the edge of the bed moments later and started talking.
"You already know the origin of their name right? And that the word demon is not negative in origin, but only became negative—"
"When Christians attached a negative connotation to it, to discredit pagan religions," he said, in a tired voice.
"Yes, that's right!" Finally, someone who understands! Demons are not all bad. Except her, she really wants to play with this boy. "In this entire conversation, we are going to use the word 'demon' to address them. Little known fact, demons are not what religions say they are. Angels don't exist as the opposite of demons either. They're just like normal people, only with powers that humans would consider to be that of a god. That's because they're pure-energy beings, with no weakness.
"They actually have no sex or gender. They may choose their sex at will. For example, that Micheal, yeah, the Archangel chose to appear to Mary as a guy because it's considered to be the dominant sex of her society. No one would listen to a woman that time, right? Because of patriarchy?"
Dipper doesn't know why he isn't asking any questions. He usually asks questions during a lecture. But he isn't in a classroom, and this isn't a lecture, so he let it slide. Besides, he was too tired to talk. Lia's voice is soothing.
"As to why demons like to interact with humans, that's a mystery. Some say that there was a pure-energy being that created you, human f—," she was about to say 'flesh bags,' but she stopped herself. "—humans. Whatever the reason is, it's lost forever, I guess. I'd say they just like to mess with humanity."
How do you know so much?
"They can choose to be perfect. Well, perfect by earthly standards because there's no concept of perfection in their realm. They can make the perfect sandwich, the perfect hairstyle, the perfect painting; perfect anything-that-is-a-human-invention really."
Are you a demon? Is that why you're so pretty?
Lia ignores Dipper's thoughts and continues, "When a demon goes to earth, there are certain hangouts they go to. They're all over the world and only they know which ones they are. Like this establishment."
What? Like this establishment?
"Their purpose is to provide for the needs of their pure-energy bodies, without causing panic to the original inhabitants. And, well, as a hangout!" She laughs. "Demons are the only ones to know because of some kind of rune or symbol that only they can see. I'd draw it to you if only you could see it."
If only I could see it?
Dipper abruptly sat straight, "How do you know all this?" This was getting…I don't know, weird? Scary?
He followed Lia with his eyes. She took his blue trucker hat that was attached to the strap of his backpack, and puts it on.
"Oh, Pine Tree," she pointed at the symbol on the hat.
It happened at a blink of an eye; she pushed Dipper so that he'd be leaning on the headboard and straddled his lap. He could see her eye clearly with them being this close; she had it almost-gold with slits for pupils like that of a cat's. She leaned closer, and their lips meet in a kiss.
"Let me tell you a secret, Pine Tree," she whispered in Dipper's ear. "I'm no apprentice for a damn teacher. I'm a demon and The Rendezvous is no normal establishment."
Really with the pet name? This being his first thought made him feel ridiculous. He couldn't believe it. This girl is messing with his brain.
"Oh, I might've lied about things about myself but that's the truth," her eye glowed dangerously. "I'm not messing with you. I am a demon, and you're in a demon rendezvous."
How'd she..? Sure as fuck, she isn't lying about being a demon. Her whole body is glowing unnaturally yellow!
In Dipper's eyes, Lia looked terrifying. But he couldn't move; his body seemed to forget how to. How frightened Dipper was becoming was how Lia's excitement was escalating.
She traced the lines on Dipper's face, her thumb eventually lingered on the birthmark on his forehead. She had a firm grip on his shoulders. "Occasionally, humans happen to walk in here, without knowing that the place can either be swarmed by their best dream, or their worst nightmare!
"Right now you're thinking, 'do all of them come out alive?' hoping that you would come out of this encounter alive too. Sorry to break it to you Pine Tree, but some of them don't."
Dipper felt a chill down his spine.
"What kind of demon hangout would it be if all the humans that came, came out alive?" She laughed maniacally.
He scrambled away from her but her grip on his wrist and shoulder was so tight it hurts. He had to stop squirming away from her grasp to at least let the blood flow to his limbs. He later resigned and let her pin him down on the bed. She was so strong…
This is how my life ends, huh?
Lia is now a disfigured image with an immense open mouth, jaws almost off its hinges, and multiple serrated teeth like that of a shark's.
Great, I'm going to be demon chow.
How I wish I could still see my family for the last time.
Mabel… oh Mabel, my beloved twin.
Just as the demon was about to maul him, he blacks out.
Bill Cipher laughs at the memory. He was telling the tale to his "friend," Pyronica, what had happened a few nights before. Yes, he was a he again.
"So, did you eat him? How's human meat? Is it really tender just as what Harpie told me?"
"No, and Harpie is disgusting and no fun. Don't ever listen to her," he gagged at the memory of him and Harpie. "He's right there; see that brunette guy with a blue trucker hat?"
They passed Dipper walking home with his sister Mabel.
"What'd you do then? If you didn't eat him?"
"I played with his mind. He thinks that was all a dream 'coz I made him black out before I could 'eat' him. Pretty mild, I know, but I'd like to take it slow with him. I wonder what he's going to do after that."
"So you're tailing him now?"
"Until my little Pine Tree gets boring, I'll follow him around. I've got nothing better to do anyway," he stretches his arms.
"That is so weird," Pyronica tucks away a pink lock of hair away from her face.
"What?"
Pyronica shrugs, "Nothing, never mind."
"I'm so going to enjoy playing with him. I've never encountered a human I find so interesting for years."
The car pulls over in front of California's only demon rendezvous. Bill walked out of Pyronica's open-roofed, light pink car, "Thanks for the ride."
"It's time for you to get your own car, Cipher."
"I'm working on it," he winks with his one visible eye.
"Ugh, disgusting, Bill!"
"I know," he laughs. "It's payback for making me remember Harpie."
The woman with sunglasses and dyed hair—platinum blonde on the left side and pink on the right—waved at him and drove away. He himself needed sunglasses; it's just so bright being outside in broad daylight. With a flick of a wrist, one appeared and dropped square onto his outstretched palm. He wore it with a kind of smoothness to his movements.
"Act two, here we go."
Dipper opened his eyes, shocked to still be alive, breathing shallow because of panic. It was morning, based on the sunlight peeking through the curtains. He checked his wrist. He was pretty sure there were supposed to be bruises around them, and his shoulders too. But there aren't any.
He panicked; it couldn't have been a dream, could it? But it seemed so real.
There was a letter on his bedside table. He took and read it.
Morning Dipper,
You seemed to have drifted off last night and I haven't even gotten to the best part yet! I understand, you must've been really tired from all your traveling. Ah well, there's always next time, right?
See you around, then?
Lia
Here's my number if you want to make it up to me. ;)
Dipper copied the number to the Contacts list on his phone.
So, him becoming demon chow…it was a dream: a product of his overly active imagination. And he feels bad about sleeping in the middle of their talk. He should really make it up to Lia.
There seems to be writing at the back of it. He turned over the letter.
In Lia's script it read: You are cute when you sleep.
"No, I am not cute," he grumpily folded up the letter and shoved it in his wallet. But it made him happy. He actually met someone interesting in this little vacation. Plus, he feels better now. Not anymore feeling useless. He couldn't wait to tell Mabel about it.
Mabel.
He decided he's going home today. A month away from home and travelling was enough for him to find himself.