The Exam
My cousin gave me the idea for this. When he was in eighth grade, he had to take short answer tests in History, and for questions such as, "Who was the third president of the United States?" he would put, "Santa Claus."
Now, to the story.
"Turn over your tests the moment I say go," Dr. Crowler said, a stopwatch in his hand. "Go!"
Jaden flipped over the exam and began to answer the questions.
Who was the creator of Duel Monsters?
Where was the creator when he first thought of making the game?
How many Millennium Items are there, and what are they called?
Who were the four finalists at Duel Kingdom?
What are the three Egyptian God monsters called? (Epithets required for full credit)
a) What is Seto Kaiba's most powerful non-Fusion monster? b) Name a monster with higher ATK than the answer to part a of this question. (Your choice cannot be a Fusion or an Egyptian God.)
Who invented Dungeon Dice Monsters?
What is a Vanilla Monster? Give two examples.
What does Fairy Meteor Crush do?
How many DEF points does Aqua Madoor normally have?
Explain the difference between Dark Hole, Raigeki, and Lightning Vortex, including costs.
What Attribute does A Legendary Ocean benefit? Give an example of where A Legendary Ocean might be used.
How would you handle a situation in which your opponent has both Jinzo and Spellcancellor on the Field?
Name seven Fusions of the Elemental Heroes.
What grade do you expect to get on this exam?
BONUS: What is your best friend's middle name?
Here are Jaden's answers:
1.Someone with a Greek name. I believe it was Hermes.
2.Sweet Home Alabama
3.Five. Millenium Donut, Millenium Hotdog, Millenium Racecar, Millenium Pretzel, and Millenium Sailor Moon.
4.Yugi, Beethoven, Mojo Jojo, and Elmer Fudd
5.Abandoned, Frosty the Snowman, and George Jetson. What's an epithet?
6.Easy. Blue Eyes White Dragon. Tri-Horned Dragon is stronger.
7. Spiderman
8. It's a monster that is based on a type of food. Mystic Tomato and Hungry Burger are both Vanilla Monsters.
9.Destroys all Fairy-type monsters face-up on the field.
10. 2000
11..Dark Hole destroys all Face-up monsters on the Field. Raigeki requires you to discard five cards from the top of your deck, in order to destroy all your opponent's monsters. Lightning Vortex costs 2000 points to play. After 20 turns, you win the duel automatically.
12.A Legendary Ocean benefits the WIND attribute. It lowers the level of all WIND monsters in your hand by two. It also boosts the ATK of WIND monsters by 200 points. You can use it to sacrifice one monster for the level seven Raging Wind, which, when sent to the Graveyard, will destroy all non-WIND and face-down monsters on the field.
13. I would activate Polymerization, fuse E-Hero Sparkman and E-Hero Clayman to create Thunder Giant. His effect would destroy Spellcancellor, thereby permitting me to activate Spell cards. Then I would activate Kishido Spirit. Attacking Jinzo would not kill Thunder Giant, and I'd be able to play traps again.
14 .E-Hero Thunder Giant, E-Hero Wild Wingman, E-Hero Steam Healer, E-Hero Flame Wingman, E-Hero Shining Flame Wingman, E-Hero Phoenix Guy, E-Hero Rampart Blaster, and E-Hero Tempest.
15. An A.
I don't know his middle name.
An hour after the exam, Dr. Crowler asked to see Jaden alone.
"What is it?"
"If this grade doesn't get you kicked out of school, I don't know what will. I had to give you a 16 percent."
"But I knew most of those questions!"
"Let's see here. You did not know who created Duel Monsters. You got the effects of Dark Hole, Raigeki, and Lightning Vortex all wrong. You said that A Legendary Ocean benefits WIND type monsters."
"Doesn't it?"
"No! It helps WATER!" Dr. Crowler said, yelling at the top of his lungs. "Have I taught you nothing? Now, you only got two questions right, and half of one. Not only that, but you put down eight Elemental Heroes when it only asked for seven. You don't even know how to spell 'doughnut' for crying out loud!"
"But you can't count me wrong for question number fifteen."
"Fifteen. You expected to get an A? I laughed when I saw that. Look, I'm laughing now," Vellian said, leaning back and giving a long, cold guffaw.
Jaden waited for him to stop. "But the question clearly says…"
"Yes. That you should put down the grade you expect. All right, I'll give you that one." Crowler changed the grade to a 23 percent.
Jaden turned to go. "Wait, I have one more crow to pick with you," Vellian said, halting him.
"Okay, but please hurry up, because I've got to get my game on!"
Crowler frowned in disdain at the loathsome expression. "About the bonus question. What kind of noob doesn't even know what his best friend's name is?"
"Dr. Crowler, have you been spending a lot of time on Something Awful Forums again? I've never heard that word used in real life."
"L-O-L. Now, the point is, you could've put anything down for the bonus, and nobody would've been the wiser."
"Okay, then," Jaden said, grabbing his test. He scratched out the words, "I don't know his middle name," and put "Gyrus" on top of it.
Crowler was exasperated. He should have put the exam paper away before he had told Jaden the secret of that question. Now he had to give Jaden ten points.
"Ttyl," Jaden said, as he walked out the door.