[AN] Chokushi means "looking someone in the eyes; taking a straight look at something". Every time I read RK I see something new; I recently came to understand WHY Saitou Hajime refused to accept Kenshin's last invitation to "finish [their] duel".[/AN]
Chokushi
The selfishness of that man!
It's amazing, how he seems to be able to draw so many people around him and convince them of his "selflessness" and his dedication to protecting them. How can they all be so blind? Fools, every last one of them.
I know it's all a lie. It's nothing more than his pathetic attempt to stroke his own monumental ego. "Poor me," he cries to the world. "I have done horrible things and now I will throw my own life away to atone for them," he bemoans. But I see through him.
He surrounds himself with those who trust him so he can say to himself, "I am trustworthy." He tells himself, "If these people love me so, there must be something loveable about me."
I remember when he fought for a cause; he fought with passion and skill. Back then, it was not about him, but about Japan. It was about fighting for the emperor, and for his cause. He cared about people, then; he cared about the country. When I learned that he had abandoned his training in order to fight for the Choushuu Ishin Shishi, I had gained some respect for him. The man I fought when we were younger had not even completed mastering his technique. Even then his skills had been impressive.
Now, though, he's a wreck of a man. A travesty. The man calling himself Himura Kenshin is nothing compared to the man that Himura Battousai was. Even if it were not for the increasing weakness of his body… Yes, I would have known about that even if I hadn't been told.
Years and lives ago, I swore to uphold one principle always, for whatever cause and by whatever means necessary: Aku. Soku. Zan.
There are those who call me merciless; I wouldn't say so. If anything, the swift end to evil is as merciful as one can get. The life that suffers the touch of evil is ended, and those that have suffered at its hands are freed.
It's the very reason I changed my name and began working for the Meiji government. I don't bear them any love, but they are working, more or less, to bring about a better life after the tumult of their rebellion. I don't much like it, but at least I still believe in something for which I can still fight.
I cannot imagine what's going through that rotted mind of his. It used to be that he was a fine swordsman; he didn't hesitate to kill at need. That little idiot has it all wrong, now. He refuses to acknowledge that he's lost sight of what matters. He's weak, now, wrapped up in the blanket of his own ego as his sole protection. He says he's repenting for his sins, but I don't believe a word of it. He's just seeking attention. The life of an assassin in the shadows suited him. They should never have put him in the front lines… That's what ruined him. One taste of notoriety and he couldn't stop himself.
Now, everything he does is calculated to soothe his own troubles, to make himself feel better. It has nothing to do with the greater good, nothing to do with a true cause. Nothing to do with passion.
So no, I'm not going to bother going to meet him for his little dance. He doesn't deserve the mercy of my sword through his needy little heart.