Title: A Beautiful Mess
Pairing: James/Logan, minor Kendall/Carlos at the end
Summary: First, his girlfriend breaks up with him, and then he catches her kissing Logan. That much of it James has registered into his brain. He just can't understand why Logan kissed him after.
Disclaimer: This is a work of pure fiction. I do not own Big Time Rush. I am not claiming that these events actually took place or do I claim that these are the boys' sexual preferences.
A/N: Jagan companion piece to No Explanations Necessary, a Kenlos one-shot. Rated M for smut. Sorry this took awhile. Word of warning, this is meant to be RPS. I didn't mention anyone's last name so that it just seems like an AU. James's girlfriend's name was supposed to be Halston, but I changed it to Hailey. Story title inspired by Jason Mraz's song.
"And tides they turn and hearts disfigure,
But that's no concern, when we're wounded together" – Jason Mraz
"Hey babe," James surprises Hailey from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Hey," she expresses her reply with nothing but apathy, not even turning to greet her boyfriend properly.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She still refuses to turn.
"You don't seem fine."
Hailey sighs heavily, pries James's hands off her waist, and turns to him. "Okay. I'm not fine. Happy?"
"What's the matter?" James asks, confused.
"You asked me if I was okay, and I said I'm fine. Now I agree with you about not being fine, and then something's the matter?"
"Wait…wait, okay, what brought this on?"
Hailey rubs at her temple and shuts her eyes. "James…"
He knows what's coming, so he changes the subject quickly, "So about Kendall's party later…"
"It's not working out."
James's breath gets caught in his throat. "What?"
"It's just not working out okay? We're done, alright?"
"What do you mean it's not working out? How?"
"Seriously, just let it go James. We're through. Now if you will excuse me, I need to take charge of the food for the party."
Hailey leaves James with his jaw hung open, unable to digest what the fuck just happened. She just broke up with him, just like that. James admits that things between them haven't been going smoothly the past few weeks, but a few bumps in the road like that was normal for couples, right? Things weren't that bad, at least to James, it wasn't. James needs to confront her about this, demand an explanation because, as far as he's concerned, he didn't even do anything wrong. He chases after her.
Logan assures the stagehand that the lights set up are enough for Kendall's party. Any more strobe lights would definitely give someone a seizure.
"Hey Logan."
Logan turns around at the sound of his name. "Hey Carlos."
"I'm picking up Kendall now. Are you and James gonna be fine finishing up here?"
"Yeah, we should be."
"Great. I'll text you or James when we're back."
"Okay, I'll see you soon bud. Drive safe!" Logan yells to Carlos who has already walked away, eager as always.
Logan is envious of that quality of Carlos. His friend just seems to always stay vivacious and joyful. Rarely does Carlos show any signs of misery or temper, not that he needs to anyway. Carlos seems to just be a bundle of joy and energy. Logan doesn't know where Carlos gets it from, but it doesn't matter. Carlos is happy. He's in a relationship and he's happy.
Which is more than he can say about himself. Logan despises the single life. He thinks it would be nice to have a pair of arms around him, pulling him in closer until the space between them is completely gone, and then settle in to the warmth and comfort of the other's body. Yeah, that would be nice.
Actually, Logan does like someone at the moment. And actually, 'at the moment' is a bit of an understatement. He has liked someone for several months now, and he's pretty sure that he has grown past the stage of just liking this person. But he doesn't want to flaunt the word love out just yet. Love is a tricky business, and Logan feels he has enough to deal with. Then again, he feels as though he's kidding himself, since everything else about his life, what with living in LA and the success of the band and all, Logan's life is pretty fortunate and laid back, nothing too major to cause him distress. But there's still that tinge of discomfort and uncertainty on using…the 'L' word.
Maybe it's because of the person he loves, err...likes that Logan feels inclined to burden himself. But he also feels he has a good reason to. How can he not when he's almost a hundred percent sure that he has fallen for his best friend? His fellow band member? It troubles him to the core because it's James. It just had to be James. James – the tallest member of Big Time Rush that may come across as an egotistical jerk but actually has a good heart. Not to mention a handsome face and an incredible body.
Logan sighs. What a mess.
He spots Hailey rushing into the main party area, a stern look on her face. He isn't really fond of her, for obvious reasons, but from the looks of it, she is making a mad dash away from someone. And also making a mad dash towards him. He looks on with confusion as she inches her way closer to him, a little devious grin on her face.
"Hey, Hail–" Logan is cut off when she grabs at the fabric of his shirt and his tie and spins him around, then yanks at the tie to bring their faces closer together, and more importantly their lips right on each other. Logan's eyes bug out in surprise. What does she think she's doing?He tries to break free, but her hands are on his tie with a tenacious grip.
James ponders more on his recent break up with Hailey as he continues his chase after her. It just doesn't seem to make any sense whatsoever. He needs to have a word with her. No way is he letting her go that easy.
James has been walking in her shadow ever since she left him not too long ago. He doesn't mean to be a stalker of some sort, but he isn't letting her out of his sight until she explains to him thoroughly her reasons for breaking up with him. Enumerate them if she will, he doesn't care. He just wants to know.
He loses her among the crowd of people buzzing by in the main party area, with everyone running around frantically to make sure everything is in its rightful place. The space before him clears up, only to devastate him when he sees them. Logan is on Hailey, and his lips are right on hers, a deliberate kiss that shakes James to the core and builds anger in the pit of his stomach.
"What the fuck?"
Logan breaks free of Hailey's hold on his necktie and on his lips, and turns around to see James, a look of anger evident in the tall brunette's face.
"James I didn't–" Logan stutters.
James is gone before Logan could finish his sentence. Logan takes one last confused look at the girl that just kissed him then chases after James, leaving a grinning Hailey behind.
"James, wait!"
"I have nothing to say to you." James states sternly.
"Please, James let me explain."
"I really don't want to hear it, Logan."
"But, James I–"
"You know what, it's Kendall's birthday party in a matter of hours. We have a lot of shit to put together and we have very little time, and I really don't want waste any of it fighting with you, so unless you have something to say about Kendall's party, I don't want to hear it."
Logan falls dead silent, and stares at the space between him and James. He does not want to fight James either. If only James would allow him some time to explain; except he doesn't really know how to explain why Hailey would be kissing him, because it puzzles him as much as it does James.
James scoffs. "If you're really dying to talk, look for me later. I don't have time for this." And James walks away, leaving Logan behind, close to breaking.
Everything is set. The DJ has arrived, equipment all set up, and so has the bartender along with a few select drinks. Carlos hand-picked several of those drinks, making sure Kendall enjoys his first time legally drinking alcohol.
James plasters a fake smile on his face even as he catches Logan in the corner of his eye. He instantly finds somewhere else to be, someone to talk to. He asks the DJ for the playlist set for the party, not that he needs to question the DJ's music taste, just something to make it seem like he's busy and has no time to talk to Logan. His tactic works, seeing Logan walk quietly away.
Kendall is scheduled to arrive in about an hour along with Carlos, who is meant to drive Kendall to the venue. Everyone else should be arriving at the moment. James already spots some of their friends, as well as some of Kendall's relatives. Things seem to be going swimmingly.
The hour passes and the finishing touches are made. James receives a text message from Carlos saying he and Kendall have arrived.
James tells everyone to quiet down. He finds it ridiculous that the event is still being treated as a surprise party, when James knows for a fact that Kendall has complete knowledge of it. But it's what Carlos wanted for Kendall, and who could say no to Carlos?
An array of shushes are heard before everyone manages to quiet down. The double doors open, and everyone yells out "Surprise!" in unison. But Kendall doesn't flinch. He just smiles and shouts his thanks, trying his best to look shocked. James knew all along it wouldn't work. Kendall may have fooled some people, Carlos included, but his charade doesn't work on James. Pretty soon the music starts playing and the guests start mingling, dancing, eating and drinking. The party is well on its way.
James can't admit to having a good time at the party. Not since he sees either Logan or Hailey walking around every once and a while and he's suddenly taken over by heartbreak and anger all over again. James figures he must have really liked Hailey, getting this bent out of shape for witnessing Logan kiss her.
But James can't let himself bring other people down, especially Kendall, the birthday boy, who James spots sitting at the open bar. He drifts over to his blonde friend, taking the open seat next to him, and notices the blank expression on Kendall's face. From the looks of it, something is troubling Kendall, and although James has his own share of troubles, he won't have Kendall moping around at his own party.
"Hey Kendall, having fun?"
Kendall's smile comes across as fake to James, and James won't allow it. "Dude, it's your party! Let loose a little bit will 'ya?"
"I am!" Kendall replies.
"Hardly. Come on, you should go out on the dance floor."
"Please, you know that I can't dance."
"Like people care! Trust me, half the people out there right now don't even know how to. People are hardly dancing anyways. It's just a whole lotta grinding going on."
Kendall gives a laugh, and James is content to bring a smile upon his friend's face.
"I mean come on, look!" James points to Carlos and Samantha, enjoying each other's company on the dance floor, hips swaying and synchronized to the rhythm of the music. "Carlos seems to be having a good time. Definitely a better time than you."
James swears he heard Kendall gasp slightly. He ignores it. "See how much fun they're having? That should be you out there."
"Maybe that's your idea of fun. I would've preferred a traditional birthday party, thank you very much."
James rolls his eyes. "But why? You're twenty-one years old! You've outgrown those backyard parties with birthday cakes and balloons and presents all gathered in a table and you're all wearing a party hat and your parents are videotaping everything and–"
"I get it James." Kendall interrupts him.
"Then why not head out there and have some fun?" James insists.
"Because... I actually like those parties. That's how my family always celebrates birthdays and I don't see why it has to change."
James scrunches his eyebrows at his friend, not completely satisfied with the answer he hears. "Stop being such a traditionalist! You're missing out, dude. I'm telling you. You're the birthday boy! Just look for a girl who isn't dancing with anyone currently and I guarantee she'd want to dance with you." James wants to add that maybe Kendall might even get lucky, but it seems like Kendall is not really in the mood for such crude humor.
Kendall gives a sarcastic chuckle and James feels a bit confused. He just gave his friend a compliment and that's how he repays him? He catches Kendall just stare blankly at the distance. It seems like he's looking at something, or more precisely someone, and he wants to question it, but decides not to.
James swivels his bar stool instantly at the sight of Logan approaching, and he motions the bartender for a drink.
"James… Can-uhm… Can we talk now?"
James ignores him, tapping his fingers on the marble surface of the counter until he is served his drink. He takes a few sips.
"James…please. I really need to talk to you."
Well, James doesn't feel the need to talk to Logan. He doesn't really want to hear anything Logan says at the moment. But it seems like Logan isn't going to take no for an answer this time. As much as it annoys him to, James decides to give Logan a shot, standing up from his seat. Anger has settled itself in the back of his mind, and if Logan says the wrong words, James's fists are at their ready. He expects Kendall to inquire, but the blonde has his lips sealed, so James just walks away. James pushes through the crowds of people inside the building, making his way to the double doors marked exit above them.
James exits the party, desperate to find a wall to punch to serve as an outlet for his anger. He hates how he forgot to bring a sweater, having to deal with the cold night air in a simple, and not to mention thin, blue tee. He storms to his car, his heavy strides hitting the concrete harshly. He hears footsteps following him, but knowing whom they belonged to, he doesn't stop walking. He reaches his parking spot and rests his back against the side of his car and waits. He sees Logan coming into view as the boy hurries towards him under the lamp post.
Logan pauses a few feet away from James and stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jeans. The boy's eyes are elsewhere while James's are on Logan, waiting on what he has to say. "So? Talk?"
Logan opens his mouth, but words fail to form.
"Dude, you said you wanted to talk. If you're not gonna say anything, you're wasting my fucking time."
"James, I didn't kiss Hailey!"
James laughs sarcastically. "Oh, so your lips just happened to land on hers, huh? Is that it then?" His tone is extremely biting, Logan growing scared to see this side of James. "Fuck, it's cold!" James yells and starts rubbing his hands together.
"James I didn't kiss her! She kissed me!"
"Oh yeah, blame it on her. Real mature, Logan. You know, I always knew you had a thing for her. You always have since I first introduced her to you guys."
"James, I don't–"
"And now you can't stand the fact that I'm with her, so you go around kissing her to try and what? Make her break up with me? Is that it Logan?" James inches closer to Logan until he's screaming right in front of the smaller boy's face.
"James, I'm not trying to break the two of you up. I'm not trying to get with Hailey because I don't like her! She's a nice girl, but I am not into her!"
"Why should I believe you, huh? Give me one good reason to believe that you don't like Hail–"
James's words are cut off by a pair of lips suddenly on his, Logan's. James's eyes widen from the contact, and pushes Logan off with full force. Panic strikes Logan's face, while fury washes over James.
"What the fuck was that?" James roars.
It's only a few seconds that Logan feels frozen in place but then he takes off running, out of the parking lot and into the dark of the night.
James wipes his lips with his sleeve and spits on the ground. He is enveloped in a mix of emotions, all of them eating away the small sense of sanity he has left within him. There's heartbreak and anger and confusion, and he must find away to clear his head of all of them.
He retrieves his car keys from his pocket, unlocks his car and climbs in the driver's seat. He reclines his chair far back and lets his head fall onto it, eyes now on the roof of the car. He tries to compose himself by taking a few deep breaths, all the while processing everything that just happened over the course of the day.
First, his girlfriend breaks up with him, and then he catches her kissing Logan. That much of it James has registered into his brain. He just can't understand why Logan kissed him after. The words resound in his head. Logan kissed him. The taste of the smaller boy's lips still lingers on his. Logan kissed him. James shakes his head furiously. He can't let him…it, whatever invade his thoughts.
James sits upright to turn on the radio. The new Big Time Rush album has been left inside the CD player, and the ninth track is currently playing. It only takes a few words from the song before James hurriedly turns the radio back off.
"Fuck." He reminisces practicing the song with the boys, more importantly with Logan. He remembers it was such a fun song to record, the single being one of the party songs they decided to put in their CD. Logan was acting goofy through the entire process, mostly out of pride from writing most of the song. And James acted goofy alongside him, and Kendall and Carlos shared a look that only questioned the reason of their friendship with the two goofy boys.
It is a pleasant memory, but James has to forget about it, because Logan's in it. And Logan can't be in it because he can't stand Logan right now.
James exits his car, back into the cold of the November night. Going back to the party seems like the best thing to do now, maybe a few drinks can help him out.
James walks sluggishly back, hands stuffed in his pockets to provide them with some form of warmth. He sees Hailey making her exit from the party. She catches sight of him, but ignores his presence and heads the direction opposite of him hurriedly.
"Hailey!" James calls out to her, but she only quickens her pace.
James breaks into a run, catching up to her. He grabs a hold of her wrist, but she immediately frees herself from his grasp. She looks at him vehemently, as if he's the one at fault.
He stares back with confusion. There's a question lingering at the back of his head, and he needs to know. Now. He cups her cheeks in his hands and forces a kiss between them. It's rough and unwanted. When she shoves him away, much like when he shoved Logan away, James knew.
"James, like I said, it's over between us. Get that through your thick skull." And she turns around to walk away.
He lets her take a few steps forward. "So you did kiss him."
She stops and turns to him again, and scoffs. "Yes I did, James."
"Why'd you do it?" James just wants the truth. He is hurting inside. He can't believe this is the same girl he had feelings for.
"Why?" Hailey laughs caustically. "Why?...I'll tell you why. So I can get my point across. That you and I are over. Simple as that! Boy, you're dumber than I thought."
James no longer has words for her. As the bitch said, they're over. James swallows a lump in his throat , and it's his turn to walk away from her. It isn't too long until he hears her heels hitting the pavement as well, the sound fading as she trails further away. Only a small distance covered, and he has forgotten all about her. He doesn't even know what he did wrong. He was nothing but nice to her, and all this time he thought she seriously liked him. What changed? James guesses it doesn't even matter. His relationship with her is over anyways. No use getting caught up in it now.
James stares back at the venue for the party, but decides against going back. He isn't needed there. He just hopes Kendall has taken his advice. Maybe find a nice girl to dance with. Carlos has Samantha, and although James's personal opinion of her is not the best, he seems to be pretty happy with her, so James isn't too worried about him. His concern currently goes to someone else, and James knows he has to make amends with him.
James returns to his car, anger still present inside him, only this time it wasn't for Logan. Confusion continues on and heartbreak over Hailey is now slowly evolving into worry and guilt for Logan. He doesn't have a clue as to where Logan could be, and now James just feels like the biggest jerk for yelling at Logan then ignoring him a good portion of the day for something he misconstrued. He has to find him somehow, ask for his forgiveness, and hopefully rebuild their friendship from there. But even if that is to happen, something still looms over them. Logan kissed him. And something in James tells him Logan didn't just do it at the spur of the moment. He was the receiving end of that kiss, and James could tell that kiss was passion-driven. New questions that seek nothing but truthful answers brews up in James's head. He has to find Logan at all costs.
He knows it's not going to work, but James calls Logan's cell phone anyway, hoping that the boy could find it in his heart to talk to him now. James hears four rings then he is directed to voicemail, and James hangs up the phone, hopes shot down.
He doesn't give up. He needs to find Logan. James fastens his seat belt. He inserts the key into the ignition and turns it, starting the car. There's no telling where Logan could have run off to and Los Angeles is a pretty big place. But James doesn't care. He needs to find Logan.
His phone vibrates inside his hand. He sees James's name on the screen and ignores the call. He doesn't want to talk to him right now. It's ironic actually – now it's James that wants to talk to him. Well, James doesn't get to. Logan powers off his phone, cutting off any chance of James contacting him, and ultimately finding him.
But Logan thinks James wouldn't even be looking for him. Logan fears that James is still mad at him, over the whole thing with Hailey, even if it really was not his fault, and also over the kiss.
That damn kiss. Logan couldn't help it. Wouldn't you want to kiss someone you've had feelings for? Feel their lips against your own, and letting them move freely against the other's, breathing in their scent? His kiss with James wasn't anything like that, but Logan believes it's better than nothing. He just hates the circumstances he had to do it under, with Hailey breaking his heart then James catching Hailey kiss him and believing that Logan initiated the kiss. He hates her too. Manipulative bitch.
Logan refuses to cry, no matter how much he's hurting. He believes it's a sign of weakness, and finds it ridiculous that James has made him this miserable. He honestly wants to forget the whole thing but can't.
Logan has no idea where his feet had taken him. All he knows is that he could not run anymore and he had to take a break. He wants to continue running, no destination specifically in mind, just as far away from James as possible. But some part of him wants to head back. Actually, he really wants to go back, confront James, apologize if he needed to for his actions that were beyond his control.
Logan stands up and turns to the direction he just came from. He is willing to head back. He's scared to, but he knows he needs to do to make things right. He vaguely recalls how everything spiraled out of control in the first place. Oh, that's right. Hailey kissed him. Then he kissed James. What a mess.
His feet start moving, having new found energy to take steps. They're shaky steps, uncertainty still coursing through him.
Logan walks through a couple blocks and does so slowly, providing him some more time to think before he eventually reaches James. Now he regrets having run the distance he did. His legs are tired, and it's pitch black outside save the areas with a streetlight placed over it. His dress shirt and vest don't provide him enough warmth against the breeze that had just picked up, and he's now a tired, shivering sight with a troubled mind and an aching heart.
But Logan keeps going.
He wraps himself in his own arms as he shivers intensely. He knows for a fact he'll wake up with a cold the next day, if his distressed brain will allow him to sleep tonight. He wishes a certain someone would wrap his arms around him and provide him warmth. But that's miles away from ever happening and Logan knows it.
Logan sees a gas station nearby, giving him a sliver of hope in finding some warmth. He quickens his pace, desperate to get out of the cold. He hurries in the door for the store adjacent to the gas station, thankful that it was open, and feels relief.
James tries a phone call one more time. This time, it doesn't even ring; just instantly goes to voicemail. He grows worried.
James has already lost count of the number of blocks he's passed. He's pretty sure he has gone circles around the city. Logan could not have made it that far. He has to be somewhere close by. He doesn't even notice that the gas level left in his car is close to empty until his car alarmed him with a beep. He stops by the nearest gas station he comes across.
He fuels up as fast as he could, needing to get back on the road and continue his search. Every minute that passes, he feels more and more defeated. He wonders how far Logan ran, and can't help but be superstitious of his whereabouts. If only James didn't react so negatively...
James fills up his car until the tank is full, just in case that's how much it takes to find Logan that night.
He hops back in his car, but now James feels dizzy and unable to think straight. He remembers how he stormed out of Kendall's party without having a proper meal. As much as he needs to get back on the road, he needs something to keep his thinking lucid and on the road instead of on his hunger. He has to be alive to be able to apologize to Logan, right? James takes his car to park outside the gas station's store.
James rushes out of his car to make a quick purchase of some sort of snack to hold him over. The night wind is as frigid as earlier, if not even more.
James barely exits his car when he stops dead on his tracks, because the person that stood before him has dropped his cup of steaming hot cocoa, sharing the same look of surprise that James had on.
James doesn't know what to say. Logan's standing right in front of him. He has found him, but now that he has, he doesn't know where to go, what to say.
Their eyes would not leave each other's, and despite the few cars passing by and the wind blowing quite harshly, they are enveloped in a complete silence, having muted out everything that surrounds them.
"Fuck, it's cold." James finally says, but this time light-heartedly, eliciting a slight smile from Logan, and that's enough for James. "You should stay in the car, it's pretty warm in there. I just need to buy some food. I'm starving."
Logan couldn't help but smile at James's remarks. It almost makes him forget how much James yelled at him earlier. Almost. He can't quite completely let it go yet, but if James manages to make him smile one more time, the whole yelling over Hailey cheating with him thing is as good as gone.
When James tells Logan to head to his car, he complies, although slightly hesitant.
Logan waits quietly inside the vehicle, hands on his lap, tapping to a tune in his head.
He breathes in the scent of James lingering inside the car. It's one of his favorite aromas for as long as he could remember. It has messed with his head before, and right now is no different.
James comes back with a bag of chips and a new cup of hot chocolate which he hands to Logan. The gesture alone leaves Logan a little red in the cheeks, and he takes the warm drink in his hands, thanking James. His hand brushes James's fingertips, and why such a simple form of contact has such an effect on him, Logan will never know.
Logan drinks his chocolate in silence while James eats his chips in the same manner, except of course the crunch from every bite. No words are spoken between them, just sips and bites and the wind from the outside as the sources of noise that fill their ears.
"Radio?" James asks, and Logan nods.
Their album plays, on the song that James hurriedly turned off earlier, and as much as they remember what had happened when they were recording this song, any exchange of words are yet to be formed between the two. Logan resumes to finishing his chocolate, and James takes the last few chips in the bag.
Neither of them knows what to say. They both feel an apology is in order for their irrational actions earlier, James with the yelling, Logan with the kissing and the running away part.
They turn to each other and mumble almost inaudible words at the same time.
"You go first." James says.
"Please, I insist."
They share a quick chuckle before James clears his throat.
"Well...listen, Logan. I'm really sorry for giving you a tough time earlier after I thought you kissed Hailey. As it turns out, she did kiss you to tell me that we were really broken up. That was some bad judgment on my part."
"It's fine. It's an honest mistake." Here comes the awkward part. Logan rubs the back of his neck. "Sorry for um... Ki-kissing you earlier." Logan feels like heading back out into the cold, because he swears the temperature inside the car just went up several degrees. Logan doesn't look at James. His gaze is just fixated on his hands, his fingers mindlessly playing with one another.
"It's fine."
Logan looks up to meet James's gaze this time, and although the lamp outside provides minimal light inside the car, Logan sees the smirk that graces James's face. And he feels relief. Logan could only smile back. James being fine with the kiss doesn't entitle Logan to claim James as his now even if he so wanted him to be, but it assures him that their friendship that was briefly ruptured has been repaired despite it. And in that Logan feels content.
"So...should we go?" James suggests.
Logan agrees, ready to go back to either the party or the suite, anywhere where he can just enjoy the rest of the night.
James decides to pass on the rest of the party, driving past the venue. He notices Logan has slumped next to him, having fallen asleep not too long after they left the gas station. He isn't too surprised. Logan must have been tired from all the running he did. They approach their suite, but James misses it as well. He has something else in mind. His thoughts are centered on one thing and his heart can't seem to ease its rapid beating from the thought. He grips the steering wheel firmly, and drives on, knowing exactly what he's looking for.
Within a few miles, James spots an inn, and makes his way towards it. He parks in an appropriate space, careful not to make any sudden turns or stops that would wake Logan up. He looks to the slumbering boy in the passenger's seat, the boy's chest rising and falling in a steady pattern. He looks so peaceful and so enticing and James knows that Logan is who he wants now. Logan is who he needs now. Somewhere between Hailey breaking up with him for good and Logan kissing him and seeing Logan at the gas station store, James has developed...something for Logan. He can't tell what it is just yet, seeing as how it all occurred within the matter of hours, or was it even minutes? He just knows he wants and needs Logan. He doesn't want to use love just yet, because he could've sworn he was in love with Hailey before everything fell apart.
"Logan, wake up, we're here."
Logan makes a faint groan before his eyes flutter open. "Where are we? This isn't the party...or the suite..."
"I know."
"So where are we?" Logan rubs his eyes and stares outside the car window. He sees the sign for an inn, lit in a ruby red color and he goes over the three letters twice to make sure he read correctly. "James, why are we at an i-" Logan doesn't manage to finish his sentence when he turns around because James has leaned in to give him a kiss on the lips. Logan's eyes widen in disbelief, because now it's James kissing him and not the other way around, and as much as he enjoys James's lips on his own, he needs to ask, so he breaks it off.
"Um…What-"
James licks his lips before he manages an answer. "I'm not sure." And he does look solemnly flustered. Well at least to Logan he does. But the answer doesn't take an effect on Logan, as he goes back to kissing James, because he just loves the feeling even if it has just happened twice.
It's James who breaks free this time, panting slightly as he feels short of breath. "Wow."
And Logan agrees. It was pretty incredible.
"So should we...umm...I mean, do you want to..." and James looks so uncomfortable right now and Logan just finds it altogether cute. But he knows where James is coming from. Well, actually the receiving end of that question doesn't make it any less awkward for Logan. But he's sure of his answer regardless.
A room is rented for the night and a door opens and closes almost immediately. Hands are rummaging and running through the warm body in front of them, while muffled moans escape lips captured by another. Both their heads and their hearts are racing; their only intent is to get closer with the other.
Logan is pushed against a wall while taking a deep kiss from James. Their tongues meet and they both feel the need for each other. James lets Logan down, and hurriedly strips himself of his clothing save his undergarments. His jeans and blue tee have flown somewhere in the room, but James will just find those in the morning. Logan mimics James's actions, freeing himself of his vest, dress shirt, and jeans. They resume kissing each other intensely as they move closer towards the bed.
The side of the bed catches James leg, making him fall backwards onto the soft padding and taking Logan, still on his lips, with him. The intensity of their kiss stays, until Logan leaves James's mouth to plant kisses on the taller boy's neck.
Logan's lips work wonders on James as each kiss placed on his neck has James gasping and wanting more. And Logan knows this, as his kisses have moved from the neck down to James's chest and soon enough James's abs, all the while Logan's hand caressed James's hard, throbbing member through the fabric of the boxers.
Logan knows what's next, and although he has never performed such an act, he's willing to try, just to make James want him even more. He takes the waistband of James's boxers and slowly drags it down.
"Wait, wait, Logan, wait." James says, voice a tad shaky, and Logan stops. "I haven't really done this before…you know, with a dude."
"Me either," and Logan continues until James's boxers are completely off him and thrown somewhere in the room, much like the rest of their clothes are.
The sight of James completely exposed makes Logan want the boy inside him already. James truly has an amazing body, and Logan still can't believe that he and James are in the middle of doing this, having James and his body to himself for the evening, and hopefully more evenings after this.
James gasps as he feels Logan's lips on the head of his length and soon enough Logan takes in the shaft with his mouth. James throws his head back to the bed as Logan starts truly working James's member, first circling his tongue around the tip then bobbing his head up and down, Logan's cheeks hollowed with each motion.
"Oh my god, Logan." James whines.
Logan continues sucking James, going at a slightly faster pace than before. His right hand makes circles around James's abs while he cups James with the other. He feels James's entire body tense up under his touch suddenly, and he feels James climax inside his mouth, catching Logan by surprise.
Logan draws James out of his mouth and wipes the side of his lips with the back of his hand. He snickers a little bit before saying, "That was…a bit fast."
James continues panting, trying to come down from his high. "I'm sorry…but that was…amazing."
Logan smiles and pushes himself up and off James, heading towards the direction of the bathroom.
"Where are you going?"
"I'm preparing us a bath, you know, to clean up…"
James pictures it in his head. A nice hot bath after sex does sound nice. Except, the sex part is far from over. James may look spent, but he wants more. "But we're not done," James says in a husky voice. James gets up from the bed and walks over to Logan, who now has an eyebrow raised at James. James smirks, and he captures Logan's lips again with the same passion and fervor he had when they started.
The kiss breaks off and Logan asks, "Are you serious?"
"You bet I am. Get on the bed."
As much as it surprises Logan, he follows James's request and sits on the edge of the bed. James joins him, sharing a sweet kiss first before James places his palms on Logan's thighs and spreads them apart.
"Lie down."
Logan complies while James starts to work a few fingers in his mouth, covering them with saliva. With his other hand, he seizes Logan's wrists and places them over the boy's head, pinning him down. He lines the wet digits with Logan's small entrance and presses one finger inside, feeling Logan's heat and tightness.
Logan makes a mewling noise as the invading finger pushed in further. His face contorts in pain, and James tells him to relax and take steady breaths. Logan attempts to, but another whine escapes his lips when James adds a second finger inside him, stretching him further.
The moans he has elicited from Logan has made James's erection come back, ready for another go. Logan must have noticed because the boy's hand has found its way to his hardened member, stroking it gently.
"James, please."
James knows what that meant, and he wants it as much as Logan does. He frees Logan's wrists and pulls his fingers out of Logan's hole. He spits on the palm of his hand to slather his member with.
Logan lifts his legs to rest on James's shoulders. James positions himself and enters Logan carefully, gasping as he pushes through the tight ring of muscle, even after stretching Logan with his fingers. Logan hisses in pain and James makes a move to withdraw himself, but Logan reaches for James's waist to stop him.
"Keep going, I'm fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, James. Please, keep going."
The need is evident in Logan's voice, and James continues pushing in slowly until he is entirely inside Logan, his balls resting against Logan's cheeks and oh my god it feels so good. James looks Logan in the eyes, asking for permission to start moving.
Logan nibbles at his lower lip before he answers, "Go slow…okay?"
And slowly James goes. The friction and the tightness that wrapped around him make James yearn for another release right away. It takes awhile, but James finds a steady rhythm with each thrust into Logan.
Taking them off James's shoulders, Logan wraps his legs around James's hips, pulling him in closer. James leans in towards Logan to give him a kiss then rests his head on the crook of Logan's neck as he drives inside Logan faster and harder, guttural groans escaping his throat. Logan squirms underneath him, completely at James's mercy.
James's quick pace doesn't last long, as he feels the need to climax again but doesn't want it over too soon. He nibbles on the lobe of Logan's ear before he whispers, "Ride me." He looks at Logan's face and sees his eyes held shut, but Logan is nodding his head. James slides out of Logan and helps the boy up and kisses him once more before he lies down on the bed again.
Logan climbs on top of him, straddling James's waist. He positions himself until he feels the head of James's shaft brush against his entrance, then he lowers himself on it, his jaw dropping lower and lower with every inch that enters him, until he is completely seated on James. Logan tries to compose himself, not letting the sensation of James inside him make him go insane as he takes a couple of full, deep breaths. Logan feels a little weak in the knees, but soon enough he manages to get himself up, letting James slide out until only the head of the shaft remained inside him and then sit back down on the length, then repeats the process.
Seeing Logan in full view like that, bouncing up and down on him with flushed cheeks and closed eyes, his naked body emanating heat, is something James never imagined he would witness. But there they are, lost in a world of their own. He has engaged in an act like this before, but he's never had it quite like this. The previous times with women, the act was done out of lust, but with Logan it's different. It feels different, and not only is it because Logan was a man. It wasn't that. James has never felt this much intensity and passion and need before.
Logan rides James faster, and James couldn't help himself but start thrusting up erratically in to Logan as well, rhythm no longer present.
"Fuck, James, right there!" Logan moans as James's shaft brushes against his prostate. He can feel himself about ready to finish. And when James takes Logan's member in his hand to stroke it, Logan loses it. His whole body tenses as he releases onto James's hand and into the air, spurts of white landing in every direction.
Watching Logan orgasm and having Logan's walls squeeze in on him makes James go over the edge as well, as he climaxes for a second time, all the energy being drained from him with every stream he released inside Logan.
Logan slumps on top of James, chests heaving against each other's. James feels himself slide out of Logan.
"Wow." James pants.
"Yeah, wow." Logan agrees.
They settle down from their high slowly, both amazed at what just happened. Soon Logan invites James for a bath much like before, only this time James doesn't stop him. They bathe in a tub full of moderately hot water, Logan sitting in between James's legs and James's arms around him as they proceed to clean each other.
They return to their bed, lying down right next to each other, facing each other. Their eyes meet, and although both of them still have precautions with the word, they're both willing and daring to say they have found love.
James places a hand on Logan's cheek, caressing it, making Logan smile.
Neither of them thought they would end up like this. One hoped they would but considered it almost impossible to happen while the other never considered it at all. Although it took one big mess, with hearts being broken to friendships being tested, somehow everything worked out, perfectly if Logan might add. James no longer feels heartbroken over Hailey because Logan has repaired his wounded heart, and Logan no longer feels heartbroken over James yelling at him because James looking for him is in fact apology enough and now James is his. It's that mess that brought them together and for it, they are actually thankful.
Time passes and soon enough, sleep claims both of them.
It's a little past nine when Logan and James decide to head back to their suite. They're surprised they didn't receive a call from either Kendall or Carlos. They had to be worried about them just for a little bit, right?
"Should we tell them now or later?" Logan inquires as he and James stand outside the suite.
James contemplates the issue for a bit, biting his lower lip as he thinks. "I think we should."
"Think they'll be fine about it?"
"Only one way to find out." James takes Logan's hand in his and swipes his key card through the lock on the door.
James and Logan both enter quietly, just in case their friends are still asleep. Their ears are greeted by the crackling noise of pancakes cooking on a pan. But it's when they walked towards the kitchen that their eyes are greeted with a more incredulous sight. There stand Kendall embracing Carlos as Carlos cooks in front of the stove, both in nothing but their undergarments, oblivious of James and Logan entering the suite and standing just a few feet away from them.
"I think they're fine about it." James whispers.
The End