Throw it all away
Kel frowned as she saw the incoming raiders to New Hope. This was winter, for the Gods' sake! There was 20 inches of snow out there! Still, she wrapped her coat around herself tighter as she raced down the battlement stairs. Her mail and plate armour felt unusually heavier, as did her eyes.
Sometimes it was easier if she didn't think about it. Everything was pushing down on her – the stress of the war, the shock of killing the Nothing Man, everything. How could she live when it felt like her heart was made out of felt, and locked in an iron prison? Everything that had happened was captive of her spirit. A captive that desperately needed to be free.
She raced out of the gates of New Hope, glaive swinging, two squads at her back, and the bitter winter chill in her face, leaking through the layers of clothing. Suddenly, the world went quiet. No sound, only action.
The metal swinging through the air, blood spurting, suddenly an idea took her. She knew how to escape. It was there, all along, almost whacking her in the face! She put more effort into her chops and swings, seeing the end in sight.
Ouch. She felt an arrow whistling past her ear. That would leave a nasty graze later. She saw one of the last bandits coming towards her. This was her chance. If she messed this up now, she wouldn't care what would happen later. The only thing that mattered was getting the timing right. One missed step and she could be speared.
The raiders raced towards her. This was her last chance. Her last chance to make herself well.
He lunged. She made sure his spear made contact with her skin, letting blood out of her, before dropping, as if dead, to the clod, wet ground. She knew she would be better after this. The people of New Hope knew what to do in a battle. She wouldn't have been needed until after getting back into New Hope. And she knew she could be executed for treason, but she didn't care. How could she, when she wouldn't even be here for the beheading?
She closed her eyes.