What Can I Say?, a glee fanfic

A/N: I'm not dead XD I just haven't had any inspiration or ideas to write...I'd appreciate any suggestions? c: Finchel only, of course. ;) Anyways, this is a one shot. It's different from my other stories, because I've been lonely for someone I'll never have and the fact that it's raining cats and dogs outside doesn't do anything for my mood...so I wrote this as a sorta vent. Don't get mad at where I ended it, because originally it was going to be a tragedy, and Rachel wasn't going to live...xD; I tell you, when I'm angsty my stories suffer -w-; Anyways, I would really appreciate some feedback on this if you read it. .The title is from the song "What Can I Say?" by Carrie Underwood, which is what inspired this story...My apologies for any typos you may encounter. I don't have a beta, and I'm exhausted. I started writing this at like 9PM and seeing as it's now almost 2AM when I finished, and I'll be getting up for church in close to 4 hours, I REALLY need to sleep and not spend anymore time on this..Hah this is my 30th story submitted to this site n_n .So...yeah, I REALLY worked hard on this, so feedback would be VERY much appreciated!

"Get a grip of yourself, you can do it." The soprano murmurs, staring at her reflection in the mirror as she stands in the girl's bathroom. "You're more than capable of a simple confrontation...you're Rachel Berry, for God's sake!"

Rachel unleashes a soft sigh and lowers her head slightly. Today's been hard to bear. She's had Finn glued to her side all day, in between classes, at lunch, even at Glee club he'd clung to her like a lost child, seating himself directly beside her, interlocking their fingers together as he held fast to her hand, never letting her leave his side. She's kind of used to that, because ever since the babygate drama that went down months ago, she's been Finn's one and only confidant.

He's come to her for discussion not only about Puck and Quinn, but the guys on the football team, who've been giving him a hard time since the truth about Quinn's baby was revealed, the Cheerios, who seem to look at him now like he's lower in status than Rachel's personal stalker, Jacob Ben Israel, and his mother, who's just a little too close for comfort with her efforts to help Finn "recover" from the drama.

Don't get her wrong. Rachel isn't complaining. She loves being around Finn, being there for him...hoping he'll recover soon and they can figure out what this weird friend-relationship thing of theirs is. That's just the problem, though...She's still in love with Finn even after all he's put her through...

Because of this, she sits and listens to him rant and rave, day after day, waiting, PRAYING he'll wake up and realize that if he gives her a chance she can make things better. She can be the cure, if he'd let her try. There have been times (and these more more than anything else are the reason for her pep talk in the bathroom) where it seemed he was doing just that.

Finn has trusted her completely and never held back in these past few months, and because of this, he's let stuff slip about how he feels about her many times. Unfortunately, it's never ended the way Rachel thought it would. Sure, his slip of the tongue has resulted in several awkward, almost romantic encounters. However, instead of letting things happen , Finn has always brought it to an abrupt halt, apologizing hastily and bolting away, never looking back to see the hurt on the brunette's face.

It's the same old story, and as much as she loves him, she's freaking tired of it. She's tired of feeling like she's not good enough. She's fed up with this game of unrequited love. That's why she has to be strong, Rachel reasons with herself. The pain he brings into not just her heart, but her very soul with his constant unintentional rejections, every time he runs away. She's loved being his friend, but he hurts her so bad...She can't do this anymore.

She's going to confront Finn, and either they're going to take their "relationship" to the next level, or she's going to be done with him. Like, DONE, done. No more crushes, no more friendship; nothing. Just done. Because it's unfair for her to just allow him to hurt her because he's still so unsure of his feelings for her, and while she thinks it'd be hard to live without Finn in her life at all, she knows she's done it before, and she can do it again.

(She hopes.)

School's just let out, and Finn's at his locker, gathering his things to leave. He can't help wondering where Rachel's at. He hasn't seen her since Glee, when she jerked her hand out of his (which, if he's honest, kinda hurt...because if he forgets about this stupid baby drama, he can admit that holding Rachel's hand feels...right.) and took off running out of the room, her footsteps echoing in the eerily empty halls.

Finn exhales loudly under his breath. He just can't stop thinking about her. She's been so distant today and he really wants to know why...cause he's not sure why but when she's not talking to him he just feels...worthless. Dead. Like he hasn't much to live for. It's like, if she isn't talking to him he feels like he's done something wrong, and he'll do anything to correct himself. Because as pansy-ish as it sounds, whenever she talks to him, all animated and bubbly, he feels strangely empowered, and he has the ability to believe in the hope that someday he WILL be able to forgive Quinn and Puck, and he'll move on. Someday.

He's just turning to leave when a soprano voice calls his name; he glances over his shoulder and his world suddenly seems just a little bit brighter as the girl he was just thinking about comes strutting up to him, sequined leg warmers and all (God, he loves those things.).

"Rach, hey!" He turns to face her and his grin vanishes when he sees the look on her face. She's upset. 'Did I do something wrong?'

"Rachel, whatever I did, I'm really sorry.." He begins hesitantly, but breaks off as she holds a hand up, the gleam in her eyes silencing him. What's going on?

He waits for a minute -a LONG minute, he thinks- and he's just about to say something, ANYTHING to break the tension when the diva in front of him speaks, her voice coming out rushed and breathy, yet clear as a whistle.

"Finn, I'm glad to have found you before you left." She clears her throat softly before going on (though he thinks it sounds more like a hum than anything...but then again, everything's music with Rachel Berry). "I realize that school is out for the day, and you're itching to get home and drown out the world with video games, but I really need to talk to you, so if you wouldn't mind delaying your departure from this building for a few minutes, I promise to be brief and to the point."

"Uh..." Finn blinks a few times before nodding slightly, a bemused expression on his face. "Ok...sure...wh-what's up?"

"Finn..." She takes a deep breath before hurrying on, remembering her promise to be quick and to the point. "What is this between us?"

As she speaks, she holds a hand over her heart, and Finn can't help noticing the look of desire in her eyes. It's totally like the looks she gives him in his dreams at night...Not that he dreams about her. Not at all. He does a slight double take and tries his hardest to focus on what the petite brown eyed girl is saying to him. "Wait...what?"

The Jew sighs exasperatedly before repeating herself. "I mean, what are we? Are we friends? Are we more? Do you feel the way I feel for you? I know you know how I feel about you, and I'm aware that you're still hurting, but it's been some time since the..drama...and I just really need to know...Do you have feelings for me or not?"

Woah. Finn's pretty sure he just got a brain freeze. Not like, from eating ice cream too fast or anything, since he doesn't actually have ice cream right now...But he's totally got the numbing in the mind that brain freeze gives you. To the max. 'Cause he's pretty sure Rachel's talking about more than friendship, and while his -coughwetcough- dreams at night sorta make it obvious just how he thinks of Rachel, he really just can't do it right now...maybe not ever.

He likes having her as just a close friend. She may talk a lot, sometimes, maybe more than she should, and maybe she can be nosy and sorta stalker-ish..but..She's his best friend. Why can't they just leave it at that? (Really, he knows why they can't, with all those -HOT- stolen kisses and all...but still...)

"Rach..." He takes a deep breath before going on, hoping that what he's about to say will sound less douchey than it does in his head, "You know I care about you...You're seriously the most awesome girl I've ever known, and you're always there for me..you're my friend...." Nope...It still sounded bad. Maybe worse than it did in his mind.

"..Is that all I am then? A friend?" Finn thinks he might have worded things wrong, judging by the look on Rachel's face. She looks stricken and heart broken, like he just told her he'd bought her a puppy, but it ran away and got hit by a car. He decides to try again.

"No...not just that. You're my friend, yeah, but Rach? You're my best friend..honestly. I've never known anyone as awesome as you." He says hastily, putting deep emphasis on "best" and "awesome", hoping to see a smile from the girl. He loves her smiles, and so it's terribly upsetting to him when her smile's gone. Seriously.

"So then...that's all you want to be...?" she asks in an uncharacteristically small voice, taking a small step away from him.

Finn frowns at this. Can't she just understand that even though he may like like her, that he just needs her to back off and let them be friends? He's a little frustrated, and he lets her know. He just wants to be friends, and that's what he says.

She backs away from him looking like she's been slapped, and he can't help but feel like a jerk. "Rachel, I.." He starts to apologize, but he's again cut off by the palm of her hand in midair, and he sighs.

"Finn Hudson, you know very well how I feel...I LOVE you, Finn..." She says boldly, stepping forward and kissing him before he can say anything. In spite of all the warnings going off in his head, Finn's arms slowly find their way to her waist, pulling her against him, and he starts to kiss her back. However, before he can really lose himself in the kiss, her lips are gone, and she's out of his arms in a flash, standing across from him, her eyes cold, the hurt visible on her face.

"I don't get it." She states simply, her eyes seeming to stare into his soul, and he suddenly stops wondering what he did wrong. Cause he gets it, he totally gets why she's looking all sad and hurt and stuff. He kissed her. He freaking kissed her after rejecting her! He wants to kick himself right now- he really IS a jerk!

"You really don't get it..." She says quietly after a few minutes of silence. "You DO have feelings for me, Finn, if you can kiss me like that!...Why can't you just understand that what's done is done and move on?"

She moves closer, gently stroking his face. "I know she hurt you...they hurt you...but...if you give me a chance...Did you ever stop to think that I might be the cure? I could help you if you'd only let me!" In the blink of an eye, she's pulled away again, and is slowly putting distance between the two of them (He hates it. Why does 8 feet between them feel like 8 MILES?). "I've been the best friend I could be to you in this critical time of your life...but..." She breaks off for a minute before going on, her voice sounding choked, leading him to believe she's crying (he really hopes that's not the case. Rachel Berry crying is just like Rachel Berry not smiling.)

"..I can't do this anymore, Finn. You KNOW I have feelings for you, and you playing the part of my friend one minute, then almost kissing me the next really hurts. I can't take it. We're friends, yes, but I believe we're meant to be more. That or we're nothing at all...we're up, we're down...one minute we're talking algebra, the next you're running because we almost kissed...If this is friendship I don't want it anymore." She's grimacing; for once her carefully thought out speech has failed, and she's been left with severe word vomit.

Finn, on the other hand, is just staring at her, eyes slightly wider than before and jaw dangerously close to dropping. "So what are you saying...?" He asks.

"I'm SAYING you need to make up your mind about what you want," Rachel says quickly, her voice wavering, "because I'm tired of waiting."

Dread fills his heart as he watches her spin around and walk off, shoulders hunched, and as much as he wants to go after her, he knows he shouldn't...it would only complicate things more...and after all that she just said, he's having a hard time remembering just why he hasn't gone after her yet.

Sure, he's hurting over Quinn and Puck's betrayal, but he hadn't stopped to think about Rachel. His friend Rachel. Rachel who's made it painfully obvious how she feels about him ever since the beginning of this year. Rachel who has been waiting for him..and he let her down. Time and time again, he let her down.

Now he really feels like a jerk. Because he realizes he DOES want her as more than a friend. Well, he's KNOWN he did, but he couldn't bring himself to act on it...now that he knows, he's gonna have to work hard to prove it to her. Monday.

He just hopes it's not too late.

Rachel hurries out to her car and climbs into the driver's seat, a strangled sob escaping her as she slams the door shut with more force than necessary. Stupid Finn! He really could be so stupid sometimes!

She rests her head on the wheel, unable to summon the energy to drive just yet, not caring as the tears roll down her face, landing on the steering wheel. She feels like such a fool. Why did she kiss Finn like that? Of course, she had kind of meant to just kiss him and leave, keeping the air between them dramatic and all, but then he'd gone and kissed her back, foiling her plans and thus, breaking her heart again.

Her shoulders are heaving, and her breathing is labored as she leans back in her seat and brings her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around her legs as she cries. She should have known he'd only wanted to be friends. After all, when has her high school life ever allowed her to have something she really, REALLY wanted? She really should have known better than to get her hopes up that Finn would choose today to reciprocate her feelings.

A soft tap on her window brings Rachel out of her thoughts, and she glances up, blinking as she takes note of the rain drops hitting her wind shield. When did it start raining? Well, she can't really call it rain...because it's not that heavy. It's more of a drizzle.

Drizzle...

The word invades her mind, her thoughts returning to Finn, and she hides her face in her knees again as a new set of tears rush down her already tear streaked face. She's really feeling stupid, sitting out here in her car, freezing her butt off in her mini skirt and crying over a word. Leave it to the weather to send her into round two of what seems like a never ending sob fest! She briefly ponders just why the heck it always seems to rain whenever things seem to be at their lowest point, before deciding that's the sky's way of pitying people; crying for them.

She's not sure how long she stares there, crying, but when she hears a loud clap of thunder, she jumps, and is surprised to find the rain is no longer gentle- it's falling at an ever increasing speed, and the sound of it hitting the roof of her car seem loud enough to be thunder themselves, she thinks. Deciding she's wasted enough time grieving, Rachel puts the key into the ignition and starts the car, backing up and booking it out of the parking lot.

Normally, she's a really safe driver. Honestly. She's usually very attentive to the speed limits, and makes sure not to go over. But today...Today's been such hell for her, she can't help driving faster than the limit. Somehow, going this fast makes her feel free. It's as if she's leaving her problems behind. Metaphorically, that is. The faster she drives, the further away it all gets. Finn, her feelings, she's leaving it all behind. She feels so good, she decides to step on the gas a little more, and soon she's going at a steadily increasing speed of 55 miles per hour.

She's not really trying to go over 45, but the rain makes it hard to control her speed. Not that she cares really. Because as was mentioned before, the faster she goes, the further away everything gets from her. In another effort to drown out her thoughts, she turns on the radio, letting out a sarcastic exclamation of irony as Daniel Powter's "Bad Day" blares loudly through the speakers. She sings along loudly, cranking the volume up, and she almost can't even remember what it was that made her so upset.

She's not really paying attention to where she's going anymore, so she's surprised when she hears a loud, blaring horn. She can barely make it out, but it's a truck. A delivery truck. Twice the size of her car at least. She's alarmed to see two bright lights appear out of the fog created by the rain, and come closer. Her car completely lit up now, Rachel comes to the conclusion that they're headlights, and she suddenly realizes what's happening; she's on the wrong side of the road! She wildly tries to maneuver her car onto the other side of the road, but it's too late. The lights are the size of dinner plates now.

Time seems to stand still as a truck, big as life emerges from the fog. Her scream is drowned out by the screech of tires, followed by a loud CRASH, and a wave of nausea washes over her. She's vaguely aware of the pain that's coursing through her body, and she can hear the faint sound of sirens, and people shouting. A man crying, she realizes.

Surprisingly, losing consciousness isn't like they make it out to be in the movies, where everything turns to grey and then you see nothing..She just feels nothing, and suddenly everything goes black as she's pulled into oblivion.

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

"Finn, honey, come quick!"

Finn groans and pauses Halo 3, forcing himself up off his bed, and makes his way into the family room where his Mom is watching TV. "What is it, Mom?"

His mother glances up at him, eyes wide, and he's about to ask her why she looks so devastated when the TV answers his unspoken question for him.

"Covering today's top story, a truck accident involving a young student. The victim, identified as Rachel Berry, was reported to have been doing 65 on the wrong side of the road...the truck driver was reported as trying to stop, but the weather conditions..."

Finn freezes, suddenly feeling like he's been punched in the gut. That reporter guy, Rod what's-his-face- just said Rachel Berry! He can't be right, he just CAN'T! It must be a coincidence, and there's another Rachel Berry, maybe with her name spelled different! Yeah, that's it! Cause Finn knows Rachel, and she never speeds. She's a stickler for sticking to the speed limit. She wouldn't do anything like this other Rachel Berry did. She's smarter than that. She's just plain smart...and that's why Finn likes her.

As much as he keeps telling himself these things, Finn's eyes are glued to the TV now, searching for a sign that he's right. He swears he could cry, and that his heart jumps into his throat at what he sees next. Paramedics are carrying a small, limp body to an ambulance on a stretcher. Finn seriously wants to cry...he can feel hot tears pricking at the corners of his eyes now. He sees it. Blood stained locks of long, dark brown hair; hair that his fingers were stringing through just a few hours ago...Blood streaking the smooth, olive skin on her once smiling face; the face he realizes he'd most taken for granted.

"I'm so sorry, Finn, sweetie.." His Mom tries to comfort him, but he doesn't hear a word of it. He's too lost in his thoughts.

Oh no, God no! It can't be. It can't be! He stays there, rooted to the ground, his hands clutching the back of the couch so hard his knuckles turn white as he gawks at what he sees on the screen before him. Rachel Berry...HIS Rachel Berry...His best friend who he realizes now he's in love with...She was in an accident. He can't help feeling like this is his fault. It very well could be. Because now that he's thinking about it, her car was still in the parking lot when he went home earlier.

As he listens to the last of the report, Finn's finally able to tear his gaze away from the TV, and he storms into his room, grabbing his letterman jacket, Halo 3 long forgotten as he slams his fist into the wall, hard. Why didn't he check on her before he left?! God, why?! Why is he so stupid?!

He quickly grabs his keys up off his nighht stand and shoves them in his pocket before walking back to the family room, to tell his Mom. He hopes she'll understand. He has to go. He has to make sure she's ok now. He can't wait another minute. He'll go crazy.

To his surprise, before he can open his mouth, his mother turns around and looks up at him, her eyes teary and moist as she nods. "I know...you're upset, but..Finn? Drive carefully, please."

He nods wordlessly and walks out the door, not even caring that he's getting soaked as he hurries to get into his truck and drives off, for once not caring he's doing more than 10 miles an hour.

'It looks like the gang's all here..' Finn thinks, glancing around the waiting room.

Kurt and Mercedes are seated side by side, their hands clasped firmly together, Kurt's eyes squinting as he fights back what Finn thinks are probably tears, and Mercedes sniffles; Next to them, Puck is comforting a sobbing Quinn, patting her back gently, his one free hand holding tightly to one of her slender, porcelain ones. He's trying to be tough, but Finn can see the glossy look in the mohawked boy's eyes; Tina is seated in Artie's lap, hugging him, her shoulders heaving as she cries softly. He can see Artie fighting back his own tears, always the optimist, trying to keep hope alive.

Even the cheerleaders and jocks are there, Brittany sandwiched between Mike and Santana, clasping one of both their hands tightly, and Matt is on Santana's other side, his eyes closed and hands clenched tightly together, as if not wanting to show his emotions (Finn can tell, Matt's a good guy, he's worried for his teammate).

Finally, the football player's eyes land on Mr. Schuester, who is pacing back and forth, stopping from time to time and exchanging uneasy looks with Miss Pillsbury, who is standing, having refused to sit on the hospital chairs (they're definitely infested with germs.).

After another brief examination of the room, Finn decides that Rachel's fathers must not have gotten the news yet, because they're not here and he knows that their world revolves around the young singer.

Watching everyone, he suddenly feels an overwhelming wave of sadness wash over him, and Finn approaches the man. "Mr. Schue?" he asks, unable to believe the sound of his own voice, so strained and scratchy.

The Spanish teacher stops pacing, and holds his arms out for him. Finn gratefully accepts the gesture and wraps his arms around the curly haired man in a tight hug, his own shoulders beginning to heave uncontrollably as the complete reality of the situation hits him full force. The blow of his next realization makes him feel sick, like somebody kicked him in the gnads. The girl he loves is in the hospital, fighting for her life, and he can do nothing to help. Life really is freaking CRUEL sometimes.

He's vaguely aware that the teacher's whispering things in his ear, and he realizes the man's crying, as he can only make out a few words here and there.

"65 in a 45 zone..."

"..Wrong side of the road.."

"...Fractured..."

That last one makes him feel sicker if possible. She's broken. Her perfect body is BROKEN. She's injured. The angel he took for granted. Hurt. Broken. He tightens his hold on Mr. Schuester, loud sobs ripping through his throat as he struggles to form a coherent sentence.

"My fault.....Rachel....upset at me......all my fault...the crash....I should've checked on her..." He pauses briefly as a horrible mental image flashes through his mind; Rachel in all her beauty, clad in white, in a casket, a gold star on the lid. "Oh my GOD I KILLED her!" He all but shrieks, starting to tremble. Why didn't he check to see if she was ok when he saw her car in the parking lot?!

"Shhhhh..." The teacher leads him to an empty seat and gently forces him to sit, which he does, burying his face in his hands and sobbing loudly, too upset to care if he looks like a wimp bawling like this.

It's been 2 hours since he got here, and he's no better than he was when he first got here. He still has no idea what's going on, and to make matters worse, he can't stop crying like a girl (though, right now he really could care less about that).

"Will Schuester?"

Everyone glances up and Mr. Schuester stops pacing as a woman clad in a white doctor's coat approaches him and whispers something in his ear. Finn discretely moves closer, trying to hear what's being said, but to no avail. When the doctor (he's assuming that's who this is) stops whispering, Finn decides to ask.

"You're the doctor, right?"

The woman, a blond with incredibly curly hair and blue green eyes smiles warmly and nods. "Yes I am, young man. Did you have a question?"

"Uh, yeah...see.." Finn trails off, suddenly unsure what to say. He'd thought if he addressed her she'd just tell him something and he'd feel better. He didn't really put much thought into what he was going to ask her! "I...uhh..." He sighs. "How's Rachel...? And I'm not asking that to annoy you, cause I'm sure you already got asked that question a lot tonight," he hurries on (ugh, word vomit!), "so I'm sorry if it IS annoying you, but I just...I'm really scared for her." He shrugs unhappily.

The doctor continues smiling at him and he can't help noticing how white her teeth are (not as white as Rachel's of course, cause her teeth are like pearls whenever she smiles and this woman's are like...maybe...well, maybe dulled pearls.). "Don't worry, young man-" ("Finn." he corrects her) "Finn. My team and I are doing all we can to help her at the moment. Her left arm and right leg are both broken, and her skull is cracked, but rest assured, it's nothing serious...she's doing well."

"Really?" Finn can't help but look skeptically at her. A broken arm, leg and cracked skull sound really bad..

"Yes." The doctor nods. "In fact, we'll be moving her to her room soon, for recovery."

"So I can see her soon?!" Finn blushes at the outburst and shrinks back slightly as the woman laughs softly at his enthusiasm. "Uh, sorry, she's kinda my best friend.."

"I'll tell you what." She says seriously. "Let us finish with her, and I'll see how she is, and judging by that, I may or may not let you see her."

"Ok, great!" He frowns, well aware that he sounded way too enthusiastic, and quickly retreats to his seat, cheeks coloring a dark red as he hears the woman's laughter again as she and Mr. Schuester exchange knowing glances before she turns and leaves the waiting room.

It's now been six hours since he arrived. Four since the woman in the doctor's coat left. Finn can't help it. He's so anxious to get in there, to see her. He just wants to see her, so he can tell himself it's gonna be ok. He sits there impatiently in his chair, rocking back and forth on his heels as he glances around the waiting room. Most of the glee club had to go home, reluctant, even with the promise of constant updates from Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury.

It's pretty much just them three now, and he feels a little awkward, cause Mr. Schuester insisted that the red head sit down and she refused to sit on the chairs, so now he's got her sitting on his lap, and they're holding hands, trying to comfort one another. Finn clears his throat, reminding them he's there, and the Spanish teacher flashes him a weak smile.

"Sorry, Finn...Emma, she..has a hard time with messes and germs so..since she wouldn't sit on the chairs, I.."

"Nah, it's cool.." Finn mumbles uninterestedly, staring into space.

He jumps as his cellphone vibrates, and he pulls it out, motioning to Mr. Schuester who nods, and walking out into the hall. "Hello?"

"Finn? What's going on, honey?"

He sighs, wondering why he didn't expect his mom to call. "I'm not really sure, Mom...the doctor came out and she told us things were alright, but that was four hours ago.."

"Did she give you any information on Rachel's condition?"

"Yeah." Finn nods, grimacing as he recalls earlier. "She said that she has a broken leg, arm and a cracked skull, but I guess it's not TOO serious.."

He hears a sigh on the other end of the phone before his mom speaks again, this time her voice gentler than before. "Well that's good...When do you think you'll be coming home?"

He runs his hand through his thick brown hair before responding, "I dunno, Mom...I'm staying until they let me in to see her...."

"Finn, I doubt they'll let anyone in until at least tom-"

"Mom, I have to see her..I have to know she's ok..this is my fault. I got her upset before she left and stuff..."

There's a long silence and he's beginning to think the call ended when she speaks again. "...Ok...are you there alone?"

"No." He shakes his head even though she can't see him, "Mr. Schuester and Miss Pillsbury are here too.."

"Ok, good." He hears a sigh of relief. "Well...take care, honey, and call me the minute you find anything out- I don't care what time it is...oh, and don't stay overnight unless you're with Mr. Schuester. Ok?"

"Alright, mom." Finn rolls his eyes, wondering why she's talking to him like he's 4.

"I love you, Finn."

"Love you too...bye, mom." He hangs up and stuffs the phone back in his pocket before making his way back into the waiting room where Mr. Schuester is watching for him anxiously. "Is everything ok?" The Spanish teacher asks.

Finn nods. "Mom just wanted to know what was going on...I'm staying until they let me see her, I don't care how long it takes." He expects a lecture, so it surprises him when Mr. Schuester merely nods and reaches over beside him, seeming to produce a red cotton blanket from out of nowhere and tosses it to him.

"That's fine. Em- Miss Pillsbury and I are doing the same..try and get some rest, I'll wake you if we find out anything, ok?"

Finn glances at the red head on his teacher's lap (she seems to be dozing slowly herself) before nodding. "Ok, thanks, Mr. S..." He bundles up in the blanket, slouching in his seat as much as possible, and closes his eyes.

He jerks awake almost instantly when Mr. Schuester shakes his shoulder, and he glances at the clock, surprised to find that he actually slept for a few hours. Not that his sleep was peaceful, his dreams all filled with trucks in the rain, and Rachel in a star studded casket.

"What is it?" He says, his voice coming out louder than he meant it to at nearly 3 in the morning, and he quickly lowers his voice, repeating his question in a hushed tone. "What is it?"

"The doctor came out. Rachel's in her room...she says we can see her in the morning...when the sun's up. I just wanted to let you know that. You can go back to sleep."

Finn nods slightly before yawning and closing his eyes again, falling asleep almost immediately.

When he next wakes up, it's not because Mr. Schuester is beckoning him. It's the bright lights overhead in his eyes. He squints and rubs his eyes before glancing at the clock. 9:00.

He glances at his teacher, smirking slightly as he sees he and Miss Pillsbury are out cold before getting up and walking over to the woman behind the counter. "Um, can you tell me which room Rachel Berry is in?" he asks softly so as not to wake the sleeping couple in the room.

She nods and tells him the number, and he's gone in a flash, giving his thanks over his shoulder as he searches out numbers on the doors. Finally he finds the right room and he quietly opens the door, slipping inside and closing it again softly behind him. He glances around, wincing at the cast on Rachel's arm and leg, and he grimaces as he approaches her, glancing down at her face; the perfect alive skin torn and bruised, her eyelids so purple he would have thought she was wearing eye shadow if he didn't know her better (she would never wear a purple that shade, she's more into the natural colors.)

Looking at the brunette's tiny form, he feels another wave of regret wash over him. She looks so small in this big hospital bed. She shouldn't be here...Without thinking, he gently takes her right hand in his and gives a soft squeeze, suddenly feeling choked up again. "I'm sorry, Rach...I wish I could take it back...I'd give anything to have you back, and as more than just my friend..."

The tears in his eyes fall, some of them landing on her skin, and he has to try hard not to stare at her bruised arm, because he's crying hard enough and he thinks if he focuses too much on the bruises he might just start sobbing.

"I'm so sorry, Rachel...please..don't give up on me...I need you so much it hurts." He can hear his voice crack, but he doesn't really care right now.

He jumps and drops the girl's tiny hand as he hears a chuckle and he turns around, gaze landing on a nurse in the doorway. "Aww, dear, you talk like she's dying..." she says gently, walking over to Rachel's bed, a tray of God-knows-what in her hands.

"....She's not...?" Finn can't believe his ears.

"Well, she was fine earlier." The nurse says softly. "The worst thing right now is that she's in shock and hasn't woken up yet."

"Oh..." the tall boy mutters, deflating. She'd seriously made him think Rachel would be awake and chattering by noon. Now his pessimistic side is starting to take control. What if she never wakes up? "Um...how do you know she's GOING to wake up?" The question's out before he can stop it and he's seriously embarrassed now cause c'mon, he just openly doubted a nurse who obviously knows what she's talking about.

"Come here, I'll show you." The nurse shows him some kind of monitor, where lines are zig zagging across at a steady rate, and he feels a little mesmerized, watching it. Almost so mesmerized he doesn't hear her words.

"As long as that line continues to move like that she's fine.." The woman smiles softly at the look of relief on Finn's face. "You don't have to worry. This one's definitely a fighter..."

Finn can't help but smirk at this. It's true. Rachel's too stubborn to do something she doesn't want to. She's proven that in Glee when Mr. Schuester tried to make her do back up. She wouldn't do that...She won't die. She has too much she still hasn't done. The world needs her voice, and she knows and believe that...and hopefully she knows..HE needs her.

"So, how long do you think it'll be before she wakes up?" He can't resist asking. His enthusiasm vanishes as the nurse shrugs.

"We can never be certain...some take longer than others...it could be quick, but just as easily it could be a long wait." She admits. "You may want to head home for a few days and then come back."

"Nah, I'll stay." Finn says almost immediately. "I don't mind a wait." He watches as the nurse goes about her duties then leaves, before walking back over to the brunette's bed and holding her hand, alarmed that he didn't realize how icy it was earlier.

"Rachel...I'm not gonna give up on you." He says softly, wondering briefly if she'll remember anything he's saying later when (WHEN not IF, he refuses to think "if") she wakes up. "Come back soon...we all miss you." He smiles sadly before leaning down and gently kissing her cheek, which is just as cold as her hand. He stares down at her, slowly letting her hand go and sighs.

'You waited for me forever, Rachel... Please come back...this time I'm gonna wait for you. I'll wait forever if I have to..cause you're totally worth it.'

He smiles slightly and nods, agreeing with his thoughts. "Definitely worth it."