So, I've finally gotten around to finishing my SyaoSaku oneshot. And what's this? I'm posting it just days after updating my Puppetmaster? Heck yeah! Go me! *Coughcough* Anyways, I've had this idea in my mind for a while. If anyone's ever heard of the song "Little Miss" by Sugarland, that's where my inspiration came from. I'm usually not a huge fan of country music, but this song spoke to me. Every time I heard it, I'd think of Sakura. I think it fits her perfectly, but it's up to you to decide! Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptors or the song Little Miss; they belond to Clamp and Sugarland, respectivly. (Wow, that disclaimer was much more formal than my usual ones!)
Little Miss Down On Love
Rejection was painful. I knew that, yet I had to confess. I had to know. And what I'd learned was that he didn't love me. At least, he didn't love me in the sense that I wanted him to love me. He had another. And he "wasn't the one" for me.
"Think about how you really love me." He'd said, "Is it the love of a close family member, or that of a true lover?" And I couldn't answer him, for I hadn't known. The only thing I was certain of was that I, Sakura Kinomoto, had been rejected by him, Yukito Tsukishiro, and that it had hurt and was still hurting.
I'd made my excuses soon after and fled from the room of stars. My feet had taken me to the place where I'd so frequently visited when I was feeling down and out of sorts; Penguin Park. Shuffling up to one of the swings, I had sat down dejectedly, feeling tears prick the corner of my eyes and, despite my best efforts, begin their slow slide down my cheeks. Sitting there alone, trying hard not to cry, was how he found me.
Little Miss I Give Up
"Sakura?" His voice was soft, as if he didn't want to startle me. When I looked up, my eyes were met with the silky material of a green handkerchief. There was only one person I knew who would be so formal as to carry around a handkerchief with him. And that same person was also the only one I knew to be so obsessed with this specific shade of green.
"Syaoran?" I sniffed, gently taking the kerchief from him and wiping my wet eyes.
"What's wrong?" He took a seat next to me on the swings, his face full of worry.
"Um, well, I confessed to Yukito today during the festival." The slight widening of his amber eyes was the only indication of his surprise. "I was rejected."
Little Miss I'll Get Tough
"S-Sakura!" He hurriedly stood, coming over to where I remained seated.
"He told me that he wasn't the one I loved most, and that one day I'd meet that person who'd love me the most too." I continued, keeping my eyes fixated on the green handkerchief pressed between my palms. Syaoran stayed silent.
"He has someone he loves most, so I don't want to interfere with that. Because the person he loves most is someone very special to me." I laughed quietly, the sound unreal. "I thought about his words, and realized that it was more of a family love than a true love. But it still hurts. It still hurts, Syaoran!" The floodgates burst, and I found myself lifted up off the swing and into the arms of a boy.
"I understand." He murmured, slowly rubbing soothing circles on my back as my sobs subsided, "I understand."
"Okay." I whispered, liking the feeling of security I obtained in his arms. Eventually, I drew back and looked him in the eye.
Don't You Worry 'Bout Me Anymore
"I'm alright now, Syaoran. Really." I added, as his eyes questioned me. "I'll get through this, don't worry. Do you mind if I keep your handkerchief for a while?" He silently shook his head, and I smiled gratefully at him. For some reason, this little cloth of his brought me a strange comfort even as I mourned for my discarded love.
"Thank you, Syaoran. I'll see you later!" I called over my shoulder as I walked away, feeling oddly lighter.
"It was no problem." Even though his voice was soft, I could hear each word as if he was standing right beside me. "Good luck finding your special person." His words brought a smile to my face and a flutter to my heart, but I was too wounded at the moment to recognize what either meant. I only understood that his words and comforting made me feel happy, and that with his help I was able to forget the pain of rejection for a while.
Little Miss Checkered Dress
"Tomoyo, are you sure about this?" I asked hesitantly, fingering the checkered material Tomoyo had diligently sewn into another one of her frilly masterpieces.
"Of course, Sakura! It looks so adorable on you!" She cried, hoisting her video-camera even higher on her shoulder and grinning at me from behind the lens.
"But I never really thought green was my color…" I trailed off, glancing down at the dress my best friend had crafted for the umpteenth time.
"Don't be silly, Sakura! It brings out your eyes! Plus, his favorite color is green." Tomoyo let out an evil "Ohohoho!" as she finished taping me.
"Actually, his favorite color was an ice blue." I mumbled, misinterpreting Tomoyo's comment. The remembrance of yesterday's rejection was harsh and unforgiving, and I found myself sliding down to rest on Tomoyo's carpeted floor, again trying my best to fight back tears.
Little Miss One Big Mess
"Oh no, Sakura! I wasn't talking about that him! Think, who do you know that loves the color green?" Tomoyo tried to distract me, but I was already too far in to my thoughts of Yukito.
"Who am I kidding, Tomoyo? I'm still a mess. Thanks for taking me out today and trying to distract me, but it's just too soon." I hiccupped, trying to quell the tears.
"It was no problem. Just let them out, Sakura, and you'll feel much better. Here, let me go get you something to drink." Tomoyo soothed me, speaking softly and brushing my bangs out of my eyes before gracefully getting up to fetch something from the kitchen.
Little Miss I'll Take Less
"No Tomoyo, it's okay, I'm fine. Actually, your distractions are helping, but please don't feel like you need to do any more than this! Everybody's been so kind, especially Syaoran, who yesterday…" I drifted off, aware that a blush was beginning to stain my cheeks. But why? Syaoran was a really good friend, so why would I be blushing over him?
Luckily, Tomoyo had seemed to completely miss my blushing bout. "Are you sure? I mean, you've always helped me up when I was feeling down."
"No, no, it's fine, really!"
When I Always Give So Much More
"If you insist, but Sakura you really ought to do more for yourself! You're going to wear yourself thin, always helping out anybody who asks. You're too kind and too cute for your own good!" Tomoyo cried, pinching my cheek affectionately.
"Ow Tomoyo, stop! I'm alright already!" I laughed good-naturedly.
"See, a smile fits you so much better than a frown." Tomoyo nodded her head in approval. I grinned at her.
"Now, can I take this dress off?"
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
(Okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Little Miss Do Your Best
"One, two, three, four, our team has the higher score!" I cheered, bouncing up and down in the stands. Tomoeda's Middle School soccer team was currently facing its rival team, and I was determined to cheer my school to victory.
"Five, six, seven, eight, this game will be a piece of cake!" My smile was as bright as the sun when Syaoran scored again. He was our team's Captain and a shoo-in for MVP. Because I was a member of the cheer squad, I never missed one of his games and was always there to congratulate or console him afterwards.
"GO SYAORAN!" I yelled, waving my pom-poms in the air as he turned to smile at the bleachers where the rest of the squad and I were situated.
Little Miss Never Rest
"Sakura, aren't you tired? You've been yelling like that for the whole game!" Chiharu asked me, her brow knitting together in worry.
"Never been better!" I cried triumphantly, energetically hoisting my pom-poms in the air yet again.
"Well, it is Sakura, after all!" Naoko grinned from behind her circular spectacles.
"I wish I had your energy." Rika sighed, swiping an arm over her sweat-free forehead and glancing disapprovingly at the hot sun, which was unusual for an Autumn day. Sometimes I think that Rika and Tomoyo are from a different world where everyone's perfect.
The truth behind my energy was not merely my usual bubbly personality, but my newfound resolve to get over Yukito and find the one who was right for me. I was thrusting my all into forgetting my love for him, and though I collapsed into bed every night bone-tired and half-dead, I felt whole again. My heart was beginning to heal.
Little Miss Be My Guest
"Anyone want any?" I called to the rest of the girls on the bench, hoisting my hand-made snack above my head and shaking it.
"Are you sure Sakura? It's the only snack you brought, and you made it by yourself, for yourself." Rika glanced at me.
"It's fine, it's fine! Eat up!" I cried, thrusting the box of food into Chiharu's hands.
"Well, you certainly don't have to tell me twice! Sakura's cooking is always the best!" Chiharu cheered, eagerly digging in.
"But are you really sure it's okay?" Naoko asked, more reserved than Chiharu.
I'll Make More Anytime That It Runs Out
"Hai, its fine! I'm not really hungry right now. Besides, I can always make more back at home." I smiled at my caring friends, making eating motions with my hands. They smiled back, and gratefully dug in.
With the now-empty box tucked safely underneath the bench, I once again rose to my feet and continued to cheer on Syaoran and his soccer team.
Little Miss You'll Go Far
"Syaoran!" I cried, running to catch up to him as he exited the locker room, running a towel over his messy brown hair. "You did great! But of course, I'd expect no less from Tomoeda's Soccer King! You know, I really think I sense a soccer scholarship in your future." I used the nickname the rest of the team had appointed him teasingly; he was much too modest to use the name for real.
"Thanks." He replied, smiling down at me as I offered him a water bottle. "I don't think I'll take up soccer as a living, but it helps to know you're cheering me on. I play better when I know you're watching." He graciously accepted the water bottle, taking a long swig from it before wiping his mouth and placing it in his sports bag. I could see a stain of red on his cheeks, and I guessed it was from all the running he had done earlier during the game.
"It's the least I can do." I replied, falling into step beside him. "I mean, you've always been there for me, cheering me on. Especially after the thing with Yukito." I gave him a big smile, hoping he wouldn't see the lingering heartbreak behind it that reappeared whenever I mentioned my former love's name.
Little Miss Hide Your Scars
Scrutinizing my face, Syaoran stated, "You're hiding behind your smile again, aren't you? Because that is one of the fakest smiles I've ever seen." I stared at him in shock. Since when could he tell what my feelings were?
Since a while back. A little voice inside of me answered. And you've been able to read his emotionless face since a while back as well. I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts and the feelings that came with them. I've had enough of matters of the heart for some time.
Little Miss Who You Are
"C'mon Sakura, I know you. You can frown around me if you want; putting up a front is hard work." He seemed to speak from experience, and I wondered when in his life Syaoran Li had to wear a mask to hide his feelings.
"I guess I'm still hurting a bit." I admitted quietly.
"Of course you are; it's only natural. But you really ought to cheer up soon. You look so much better with a smile." He ruffled my hair and offered me one of his smiles; a rare thing that brightened up the whole world.
Is So Much More Than You Like To Talk About
"Tomoyo told me the same thing a while ago." I muttered, trying to ignore the butterflies in my belly. "But I think I'm over him now, really."
"Pinky promise?" Syaoran teased, wagging said finger in front of my nose.
"Pinky promise; I'm alright!" I laughed, grabbing his pinky in my own and again ignoring the fact that when his skin met mine, the butterflies felt like they were holding a cha-cha line in my stomach. As I told myself earlier, I'd just recently gotten over one heartbreak, and I wasn't really looking for another. But, something about his eyes…
I cast aside any other silly thoughts and followed after Syaoran to our traditional victory party. I would sort my feeling out later.
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
And it'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
(Okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
Oh, Lord
Oh, and you are loved
Are loved
"You know Sakura; you seem a lot happier lately." Tomoyo commented as she tried to throw pieces of popcorn into my open mouth.
"You think?" I giggled as yet again she missed, bouncing it off the tip of my nose.
"Oh, defiantly. I think you just might be over Yukito now." Tomoyo wiggled herself down farther into her sleeping bag as she continued to throw pieces of popcorn. Her room was going to be a mess in the morning, but for now we didn't care.
"Syaoran helped a lot. He's been really sweet and supporting. And of course, you helped a lot too!" I grinned at her from my own sleeping bag, going cross-eyed as I tried to follow a piece of popcorn that yet again hit my nose. "You're throwing a bit too high; try to aim lower."
"Syaoran, huh." Tomoyo mused, not even looking now as to where she launched her popcorn missiles. Most of them ended up strewn across her carpet, but a few managed to lodge themselves in my honey-brown hair.
"He cares a lot about you, you know?" Tomoyo's sudden words stopped me in my tracks, the piece of popcorn on its way to my mouth abruptly stilled. Syaoran? Sure, I loved him as a friend, but as anything more… I felt my cheeks go hot under Tomoyo's smug gaze.
"I think you're ready Sakura, but only you can make the call." I was opening my mouth to respond to Tomoyo's comment when I found my words blocked by a piece of popcorn.
"Goal!" Tomoyo cried, and flopped back onto her sleeping bag. "Now we can watch the movie!" She flipped on her giant TV screen and pressed play, leaving me with a lot to think about. Needless to say, I paid very little attention to the movie and more to a certain amber-eyed boy who had recently been often in visiting my thoughts.
Little Miss Brand New Start
Today was a new day, and it was looking to be a pretty good day at that. School was out for a holiday, and the weather was cool but not too cold. I had left the house early (for once!) to go for a skate around the park. I was hoping the fresh air could clear my head and my heart, and offer me a solution to the confusion I was feeling.
Turning the corner into Penguin Park, I could already tell that the skate had been a good choice, despite how tired I'd been when I had dragged myself out of bed. I was still unsure as to the matter of him, but the matter was becoming clearer with every pump of my legs. I lingered for a few seconds by the swing set, where, with his help, my heart had begun to heal. Though it seemed like years ago when I had broken down over my rejection from Yukito, in reality it had been little more than a week. And through the whole period of heart-mending, he had been at my side, supporting me in a way that was different from Tomoyo's support. That difference was the thing that scared me the most about him.
Little Miss Do Your Part
As I was skating, I spotted a discarded water bottle laying a little ways off the trail, settled in against a huge tree. It was ruining the perfection of the nature around me. Annoyed, I cautiously made my way over to where the water bottle lay, a piece of litter that was unacceptable in my sanctuary. I was reaching down to pick it up when it vanished, the hand that had captured it snaking back around to the other side of the tree. Curious, I poked my head around to thank my fellow trash-hunter. I was met with a very familiar pair of eyes.
Little Miss Big Ol' Heart Beats Wide Open
Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. I'm not ready for this! The reason I headed out so early today was to avoid any human presences, most of all his! I need more time, I'm still confused! My thoughts tumbled over one another in their haste to reach the front of my mind first. The complete opposite of my thoughts, I stood stock-still, eyes opened wide as I continued to stare at the boy in front of me. Inside my ribcage, my heart thumped wildly in some sort of frenzied race.
Oh, would you just calm down? The rational part of my brain sighed, impatiently shoving my worried thoughts aside and coming to a rest in the front of my mind, keeping all other lesser thoughts out of the way.
You are too ready. It stated matter-of-factly. You've been ready for a while; you just don't want to admit it because you're too scared of another rejection. But be serious for a minute; would he really turn you down? He's been by your side in the best and the worst of times. Doesn't that speak positively for him? Ignore your mind for the moment and turn your attention to your heart. What's it saying?
I took a moment, pausing in my confusion to turn inwards towards the frantic beating of my heart. I took that beating and turned it into a language, a completely new, wonderful language. The language of the heart. And it told me the answer.
…It's saying that it's him. That everything's him. I thought quietly, and I could feel the rational part nodding in confirmation.
Buck up, kiddo. You can do this. Were its last words of encouragement before it melted back into the depths of my brain, subduing the panicked thoughts as it went.
"Sakura?" I could tell he was a bit confused to find me out at this time; anyone who knew me would be.
"Um, hi!" I replied, "I guess you're a bit surprised to see me up this early. I thought I could escape into the park for a little while to think about, um, things." I couldn't very well tell him that the "things" I had come to think about were mainly focused on him and what my heart and head were saying about him.
"Oh, um, yeah. Actually, I was out here to think about things as well." I gulped nervously; could his "things" and my "things" have anything in common? And was it wrong of me to wish they did?
"Aw shoot, I'm not ready for this!" He whispered under his breath, leaning heavily against the tree, the water bottle barely grasped in his right hand.
"Syaoran?" I asked, guiltily liking the feeling of his name on my lips. The simple word seemed to give him courage, and he straightened up and looked me in the eye.
"I – I know that you might still be hurting over Yukito." He began, and I wanted frantically to shake my head and shout "No! No, I'm perfectly fine! I'm completely, 100% over him!" at him, but I kept quiet. He should do this on his own time, not rushed and not pressed towards one option or the other.
"But, um, well…" He trailed off, gazing desperately into my eyes as if he could find the answer there. The intensity of that gaze left me breathless. I guess he did find the answer, because he continued quite suddenly.
"Sakura." Shivers ran up my spine with just that word coming from his lips. "I've loved you for a while now. Actually, more than a while. You're the one I love most. I know this is sort of sudden, but I had to tell you. And so, I was wondering..." He trailed off, uncertain of my response to his declaration. I think I was just as shocked as he was to find myself answering in the way I did, but the answer came from my heart, not my head, and it rang true to me
She's Ready Now For Love
"I love you too. I can see now; you're the special person Yukito was telling me about. You're the one I love most too. I'm so stupid for not realizing it earlier!" I berated myself, smacking a palm to my forehead.
"You're not stupid." Syaoran said firmly, taking my hands in his own, the water bottle now resting forgotten on the leaf-covered ground. "You're the most beautiful, funny, caring, inquisitive, wonderful, perfect person I've even know and I'd be proud to call you my girlfriend and lover."
"Only if I'd be able to call you the same." I replied, half-believing that I was living in some kind of dream world right now. Until I realized what I'd just said. "Wait! I mean, I'd call you my boyfriend and lover, not girlfriend! Argh, way to screw up the moment, Sakura." I scolded myself quietly, but to my surprise Syaoran was laughing.
"That cute clumsiness is just one of the many reasons why I love you." He responded to my confused look, drawing me in for a hug as my heart beat faster hearing that simple four-letter word. "You know, Tomoyo's gonna have a happy fit when we tell her. I sense many dress-up dates in our future. On the other hand, your brother might be pretty unhappy about this whole progression." Syaoran warned me, glancing down at me. I smiled back up at him, loving the feeling of having his arms around me that brought with it the feeling of belonging solely to him.
"I'm not worried. After all, we'll be together, won't we? And I can handle my brother!" I cheered, bringing my own arms up to hug him back. The smile that was his response to my actions was enough to convince me that this was the right decision. I wasn't worried about heartache in this relationship.
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Well, sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
It'll be alright again
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
(Okay)
It'll be alright again, I'm okay
"Everything will surely be alright." I whispered to myself as I leaned my head into Syaoran's broad chest. And I believed every word of it.
(It'll be alright again)
I'm pretty satisfied with this piece of work. I think the song really fits. I reccomend YouTubing it; it's such a sweet song. I hope you enjoyed this little piece of fluff!
-Winged