AUTHOR:
Hello! This is my 3rd fanfic ever and I hope you will leave some reviews after you read. I know it's tiresome to write critics but your reviews undoubtedly leaves us writers happy and contented.
Especially if the readers like our works so please, please, please, leave some. Thank you and I'm sorry if the story is lousy to some.
Hope you enjoy!
WARNING:
I do not own Vampire Knight.
YOU
Why is it that I feel so empty even though I have many people around me? Why is it that the attention I am receiving from many seems to make me lonely? Why is it that the light others are emitting is suffocating me? Why is it that I can't help but feel empty? Inside me I feel so alone. Even with all the care and exposure and admiration I evoke in the feelings of others, I still feel isolated?
I started pushing people away, keeping them at a fairly safe distance around me so I won't be feeling responsible for them. Even with the friends I gathered, I still keep on putting distance on myself to them. I can't even get close to the person I love the most, just to keep them safe and allow others who are my enemy to not touch them and to make an illusion that I cared for no one, that I don't have any weakness.
How ironic. To distance myself to them just to keep them safe.
But that really suited well with me. I can keep my position and power safe, my friends safe, and the person I cared most safe. It all fits my plan really well. Nothing seems to be wrong with the calculations I did. Everything seems to be in order and I can say that to anyone confidently. It's like I hit a jackpot worthy of my effort.
But then, you came.
You made me feel myself. You made my entire being perfect. You made me feel normal w/ your adamant attitude towards me. I instantly feel good whenever your around even if all we do is fight. And then, it struck me. I am falling into your cage fast.
Never before have I felt that everything I did is wrong. I thought I love her. I thought I love Yuuki. Everything I did was for her. Everything I planned was for her safety. Everything was for her and her alone. But that plan seemed to have backfired.
Now I am forced to admit this attraction I am feeling towards you, you, of all people. Why is it you? How could I ever let myself fall for you? Damn! I shouldn't have allowed you to drink from me in the very first place! Now, everything I thought was right was starting to feel wrong.
I said that you are merely a pawn for my plan to take action and I saw the emotions clearly visible in your eyes. I remain impassive although I'm feeling hurt inside. With every syllable and every word I say, I saw you slowly turn your expression on me into deep hatred that I feel my wound was intensifyingly painful that I can almost feel my eyes swell but I held my tears until I saw you out.
I cried.
Even if I am a pureblood and nobody saw me cry doesn't mean I never cry. I cried my bleeding heart out. How could I tell you what I really feel? How could I admit I feel something for you not in the way you are thinking? I know you must be thinking I hate you a lot but I don't. I know you hate me. Hate me for being me. Hated me deep within your heart.
Why must I be a pureblood?
Why must you be vampire hunter?
and why must she be a human?
It's unfair!
Although she is also one of us, although you and her didn't know, why did you fall in love with her? How could you fall in love with her when she's also a vampire? Even when you said you will never fall or even be friends with the likes of us? Yes, I know that in the past years I protected her and that I'll do anything I can to keep her safe, and that I love her. The former are true but I know perfectly well that the latter don't.
Now I know why.
Why I feel anger swelling out inside me when I see you with her, talking casually, walking around the school together, you protecting her out of responsibility and self-appointed task, you glaring at me whenever I get close to you. And I feel especially outrage when I see you smile for her.
I started to hate her.
I don't know when, I don't know how, I just knew I did. Just like I knew that I started to fall for you. Maybe it was right at the moment that I started to realize my hidden feelings for you that I started to hate her. Even though I thought I loved her before, now I am starting to hate her. Deeply as each day pass that I no longer feel the urge to come close to her often. I only come to her coz I know you'll be with her and I only want to see you.
But you don't know. You don't even know I am staring at you more than the usual. You never saw past my mask. Your just able to see glimpses of what I truly feel coz my mask always seem to crumble whenever I'm with you. But even with that, you still have no idea how I feel about you. Your entire focus was to her. Everything was for her, it was then that it truly sank into me that what you're feeling is not just attraction but love just like me. Just like what I am feeling for you.
I feel jealous!
I feel jealous of her. She owned everything of you. Even when I offered you the blood of a pureblood, my blood, the blood everyone in the vampire society would do just to attain, you still crave for hers. You would even drink blood from hers than from me even when I offered it to you freely. You would even suppress your bloodlust and continue to avoid and ignore me just to avoid drinking my blood.
Then I'll come to you, mad.
Yes, I'd come to you mad and angry with the reason you created that it is because you drank Yuuki's blood. I had to pretend I'm mad at you not because I am jealous you drank from her and not to me, but because you drank her blood. You must have been thinking that I love Yuuki and the reason I'm mad is also because of the reason I am taking you away from her, because I love her.
If only you knew.
That I long for your fangs to dig right through my neck. Pierced roughly into mine and you sucking my blood hungrily until I pass out. How I love to feel that, that kind of intimacy from you is all I desire. That is the only thing that I own from you. That is the only thing that I feel connected towards you. That is the only thing that I know we both wanted at the moment. Your ragged breath touching mine feels heavenly.
And in that moment, you are entirely mine.
Mine alone. Mine to feel, to touch, to smell, to lick, to taste. I want to feel the whole you. I want to touch you. I want to remember every part of you. Your lilac eyes that seem to burn my entire self. Your silver hair that dances in the moonlight. I want everything about you. You are my only wish, my only selfish wish that I so wanted to attain.
But I know I won't be able to have all of you.
So even this, even if I'm just a food for you, It's okay. I will lower my pride just for you. I would do everything I can, even force you just to let you accept what I am offering to you. I want to have some of you. Just this, please let me have this part of you.
This would be enough for me.
This is it!
It's short isn't it? I'm sorry. i just wrote this up out of boredom so its okay if you think this is not good. I am new at writing after all. I just hope you read it all the way to the end, and no skipping, heheh,
I think you already have a rough idea who is this POV right? And if you knew, then no doubt you know who this was talking about.
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. See you again!
PLEASE LEAVE SOME REVIEWS! *bows*
