"Has that man never heard of a grocery store?" Martha complained sitting down at the table with her tea, "That's the 3rd time this month he's taken stuff from me."
"Only the 3rd time?" Sarah Jane sounded amused.
"I take it he takes things from you more often?" Martha said.
"Oh something at least once a week since 1972? 1973? Oh it was the early 70's."
"...Why do you put up with it?" Gwen asked the two of them.
"Because he's him and can you imagine him shopping?" Sarah Jane grinned, "Besides, he helped pay for my first house."
"How did he do that?"
"He doesn't understand money especially over time. So he left me some money from 1605 once so I'd get him some cakes. You ve got to love how value raises over time. Sarah Jane smirked.
"He pays you?" Martha demanded in amazement, "All I get is a hastily written thank you note Rarely at that! - That are smeared with whatever he stole! Which is usually marmalade or custard."
"Mmhmm, only when it's something he knows I don't buy all the time or in large quantities." Sarah Jane shrugged.
"Like what?"
"Well, it use to be Jelly babies, then Celery, then for awhile it was Edible ball bearings and banana marmalade. Anymore however I seem to be missing fish fingers, custard and apples."
"He has weird tastes doesn't he?" Martha asked shaking her head.
"Oh this is just what he takes from me; ask any of the others what he takes."
"What do you mean?" Gwen said curiously.
"Well, I believe he steals biscuits from Liz and hides her pipe. Sir Alistair always is missing canned soups. Last I knew Benton can never find his gum, Barbara and Ian have to buy peanut butter twice a week. Oh and try being Ace!"
"What does he do to him?"
"Her. Poor Ace, she buys food specifically aimed for children, lollies, chicken nuggets, chips, crisps and the like for her children, and he always finds them to take. In fact I think last time I talked to her I got a rant about missing Santa cookies and a juice box."
At least he only takes things. Gwen said cheerfully.
Martha snorted, Gwen, have you met Sarah Jane s dog?
He left that?
Yup. But that s not the strangest thing he s ever left me.
Really? Then what is the strangest thing?
"So get this, it s 1988 and for years the Doctor had been stealing my groceries and I'd become fine with it. It was basically an accepted fact in my life. On occasion he'd even left me some cash or other things in return for me buying this he knew I generally didn't buy. I knew this, I accepted it."
"Yeah?"
"Yes, but one day I come home after a long day of work and find he's left me more than a little cash or token."
"What'd you find?"
"An 18 year old drinking in my kitchen and a note saying 'Please take care of her and get her in school, be careful she likes blowing things up'." Sarah Jane said dryly.
"...You win."