When I was at school discussing new moon (again) with my friend I came up with a new story. The real reason why Edward left…

The real reason

Chapter 1

I had loved Him with whole my heart. I loved His voice, scent, character and I still do. But He left, I didn't understand why. Was it because I'm human? Please had taken my soul, I don't need it without you. But instead of my soul He took my heart and broke it into tiny pieces. All those days and nights, obviously it meant nothing to Him.

I cried silently on my bed. I realized that actually, He did take my soul. Just as I asked. He took my soul and made me numb. I felt the tears on my cheek, but it meant nothing. Just a sign that my body was too weak to hold them in. Because after all, there was nothing to cry for anymore.

I needed them, I needed Alice to comfort me. I needed Jasper to make me feel again. I needed Esme, my mother in Forks. Emmet, to say something stupid so I could laugh again. Carlisle, to heal my death body. Even Rosalie, just to prove that they do exist, because no human can be that beautiful. And of course I needed Him, the love of my life. I wanted him to rub my back with his pale and cold hands. To sleep on his hard chest and to see him smile.

I cried, the memory of them making me sick. I ran to the toilet and puked again.

'Why did you leave! Come back please! I need you!' I screamed, forgetting it was two a.m. I heard Charlie come up.

'Honey, are you alright?' he asked while he rubbed my back.

'They're gone… They're gone…'I heard myself whisper.

'Hush Bella. I'll get you some water.'

I felt how my stomach overreacted and threw up again.

Charlie returned a few moments later, but I didn't see him coming into the bathroom.

I woke up the next morning, finding myself in my bed. Charlie must have carried me last night.

I had tried to block Them from my mind, but at night my thoughts were uncontrollable.

I took a shower and brushed my teeth two times to get that awful taste out off my mouth. I ate my cereals and went to school. At least I tried.

'Isabella Swan. I've had enough. I think it's better to go to your mother, to Jacksonville.' Charlie said while he blocked the doorway.

'I'm not going to Jacksonville.' If I wanted to see Them again I absolutely had no chance in Jacksonville.

'Why not? You're just making it worse for yourself. I know it's hard to forget the one you've once loved with whole your heart, but spending your days sobbing in your room just isn't going to help.'

'It is my right to chose where I want to life. I'm eighteen dad, not four! You may even throw me out off the house, but I will not leave Forks.' I said getting very annoyed.

'Bella, you hate Forks.' Charlie stated.

'No I don't, I love Forks.' I lied. 'Do I have to buy a t-shirt with I love Forks to prove it?'

'Bella please, just think about it.'

'I will.' I said while I pushed him aside and climbed into my old Chevy.

The answer is no.

School is easy. Just listen to the teacher and do not get distracted. Only biologics was hard. Not because it was difficult, but because of the memories. I shook my head and tried to concentrate again. In the breaks I would sit alone, somewhere in a corner trying to concentrate on something that wasn't a painful memory.

School was out too soon. Because I didn't want to go back home I went to the local supermarket. Surprisingly I ran into Jacob Black. An old friend of the family. I had met him a few times, always under weird circumstances. I tried not to think about the time I tried to flirt with him to get my information. He had told me what They were…

Jacob walked up to me.

'Hey Bella, you look…' he didn't finish his sentence.

'I know, awful.' I sighted.

'Actually I was going to say beautiful.' he smiled.

I felt a little smile on my lips. For a long time that hadn't happened.

'How is it even possible you grew again?' I said, quickly hopping to an other subject.

He grinned. 'I'm sorry did you say something dwarf? Couldn't hear you from up here.'

I laughed softly.

'So what are you doing here Jake?'

'Just a little shopping. They ran out of cola again at our local store.'

'To bad.' I said.

'And what are you doing here?' he asked.

'Nothing, just not being at home.' I said.

'If you don't want to be at home, why don't you come over to my place?'

'Yeah, sure, why not?' Everything but the numbness.

He smiled and paid at the counter.

We first went to my house to leave a note for Charlie and to park my Chevy. After that I got into Jake's car and we drove to La Push.

Jacob was talking the whole time about everything that had happened at school and in the reservation. I didn't even pretend to be listening because I was really interested.

We were in the reservation in no time. I greeted Billy, who was more than happy to see me again. A little bit too happy.

We took a seat at the bench and watched some lame TV-show about cars. Jacob watched intensely while he talked to me.

I sighted and stood up at six. This day had passed way too quickly.

'Am I annoying you?' Jacob asked

'No absolutely not. But Charlie will soon be home and I have to feed him.' I really didn't want to go home. But I couldn't stay here forever, could I?

'Than I guess I'll have to bring you home.'

At that moment the door swung open and Charlie entered with four large pizza-boxes.

'Mind us staying for dinner, Billy?' He asked.

'Only if you brought tuna.' Billy replied.

Charlie handed Billy a box and grinned. 'How are you my old friend?'

'Who are you calling old? Because I'm in a wheelchair doesn't mean I'm old. I could out run you easily if I had some good legs, but unfortunately the high spirits only gave me a handsome face and you've been blessed with good legs and a face to spit on.'

'Thank you, I really appreciate that.' Charlie said sarcastically.

'Just the truth my friend, just the truth.'

We ate the pizzas at Billy's. Jacob had eaten half of my pizza, his pizza and even a part of Billy's. And after that he was still hungry!

'I don't think it's good to eat so much pizza Jake.' I said while he stuffed another part into his mouth.

'I'm a big man, I have to eat.' He said.

We stayed till the night was at his darkest, but than decided that it was really time to go home. After all, I had to go to school tomorrow.

'So, will I see you again?' I asked.

'Yeah sure. When are you planning to come over again?'

'Maybe tomorrow after school?' I asked with a little hopeful smile on my face.

'Cool!' he said enthusiastic. 'See you tomorrow.'

'Goodbye Jake. Billy.'

I walked to Charlie's police car and we drove home. I saw Charlie smile a few times. Content that I was beginning to pick up my old life again. But as soon as I came home, I felt the numbness coming again. The hole in my chest expanded again as I laid down on my bed and dreamed my most feared nightmare again and again.

The end of chapter one.