Hello! A new story from me! Yay. I am so good... jk. This one exists thanks to a hell lot of sugar, and way to little sleep. Yep. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Uma-chan
a Naruto fanfic by Mathilda Leonore
Hatake Kakashi slept with a teddy bear.
The Hatake Kakashi, the famous Copy-Nin from Konoha, the man who was feared by both allies and enemies, he who had become a Jounin at the incredible age of 13, who was the son of legendary Hatake Sakumo, Konohas white fang, couldn't sleep unless he had his teddy bear next to him.
Kakashi was perfectly aware of the fact that most ninjas hid their teddy bears, plushies and other 'baby toys' away in a well protected box sometime around the age when they entered the academy. He knew if word got out that he still, at the age of twenty seven, carried a teddy bear around he'd be humiliated for life. Yet he couldn't bare the thought of leaving on a mission without his beloved Uma-chan. If he ever did, his thoughts would constantly turn to his apartment, where the bear waited safely for his return.
Sometimes during some missions when Kakashi wanted to save some space in his backpack for an Icha Icha, he left the pillow at home and used Uma-chan as a substitute. The bear was so cuddly and soft, he often felt the most rested the mornings after the nights when he had slept on the bear.
Apart from being a great pillow, Kakashis teddy also possessed some highly sought-after social skills. Uma-chan was a great listener, never interrupted when Kakashi was ranting on about something completely unimportant, and always hugged the Copy-Nin when he felt down. The bear also was the only one who never scolded Kakashi for being late or for not cleaning his apartment. Neither was she bothered when he stayed awake for nights in a row reading the Icha Icha series.
Yes, Kakashi truly loved Uma-chan.
Something he didn't love though was blond, hyperactive ninjas with a craving for ramen. Especially not when said blond, ramen-craving hyperactive ninja turned his backpack inside out in his hunt for ramen. He would go as far as calling it loathing-mixed-with-a-tablespoon-of-shame when the hyperactive ninja picked Uma-chan up from the ground and stared at her throughly before bursting out in laughters.
It was shortly before sunset, after finishing setting up a camp for the night when he found himself cornered by his genin team. Or two thirds of it that was, Naruto was currently laying on the ground, seemingly aiming to prove that you could in fact laugh your ass of.
Sakura opened her mouth. "Explain."
"Explain what?"
"This." she said and held Uma-chan in front of his face.
"I don't know what that is."
Sasuke snorted. "Then tell us why the idiot over there found it in your backpack."
"I don't know?" Ninja rule number one hundred seventy five: To avoid a touchy subject, play dumb.
The girl raised an eyebrow. "Oh really? Then I guess we can just throw it in the fire. Carrying an extra weight around is really unnecessary" She turned towards the flames in the middle of the camp.
"No!"
She faced him again and smiled triumphantly. "I don't like playing games sensei, so I'm going to ask you straight forward: Is this yours?"
Kakashi sighted and snatched Uma-chan from her hand.. "Yes, that is my teddy bear. And if you as much as breathes thi..."
"Hold it sensei," Sakura interrupted, "Teddy bear? That thing is not a bear. It doesn't even closely resemble a bear. It looks more like a... uh ..." .
"Overcooked potato?" Sasuke suggested, and immediately found himself at the receiving end of a glare so cold, it easily reached a top-rank at his 'The-Coldest-Glares-I-Have-Ever-Seen-List'. Sasuke was impressed by his senseis achievement, regarding the fact that he grew up among Uchihas, where cold glares were so common it almost was used as a sign of affection.
"What. Did. You. Just. Call. Uma-chan?"
The camp turned silent. Even Naruto was so shocked his laughter abruptly died.
"That has... a na-name?" Sakura finally had enough courage to ask.
"Yes, my teddy bear has in fact a name."
"W-why?"
"For the same reason as to why you have one, Sakura."
"Kakashi," Sasuke interrupted. "People use Sakuras name daily, no one ever talks to a teddy bear."
"I do."
Naruto started laughing again. Sasuke stared angrily at him, before turning to his teacher.
"So you are telling me you are having conversations with teddy bears?"
"I only talk to Uma-chan."
"Who is a stuffed animal?"
Kakashis eye narrowed. "Yes."
Sasuke nodded slowly. "So you, a twenty seven year old shinobi, are talking to a children's toy named Uma-chan, correct?
"Is that so hard to understand?" he sneered back.
"My god sensei, not even Sasuke is that fucked up." Naruto shouted.
"Shut it, baka!" the quick reply came from the Uchiha.
Narutos eyes narrowed. "Who's a baka, eh, asshole?"
"Obviously you are, thickhead."
"Clever remarks, Sasuke-bastard. Want me to buy you another dictionary?"
Kakashi turned away from the two quarreling soon-to-be teenagers and faced Sakura.
"Is there anything you wish to add to our conversation, or may I leave?"
"No, you can go. Mum always warned me from having discussions with lunatics, said it could be infectious." She answered before turning to her teammates.
Kakashi mumbled an angry reply and walked out of hearing range. If the kids were going to make fun of him, he'd rather not be close enough to know what they said about him.
Once he was as alone as he could be without losing the sight of the camp, he sat down on the root of a tree.
"Those stupid, rude, stupid brats. Making a joke out of me just because I'm old and have a teddy. Age doesn't matter when it comes to love." Kakashi whispered quietly to his precious bear. "At least you won't mock me. Right, Uma-chan?"Just as he admired the once fluffy, now grayish fur for what surely was the thousand time, the fading light must have pulled a trick on him. There could be no other rational explanation, because he was damn sure teddy bears didn't smirk.
Wow, you made it down here! You deserve a medal. It's made of chocolate. Unfortunately, I ate all of the chocolate, sorry... But you can still play with the rope-thingy. Bright side of life, bright side.
Anyway, if you liked it, please review so I know that someone likes my stuff. If you thought it was crap, review just because you can.
Kisses&Love