Disclaimer: Legend of Zelda is not mine, and don't you forget it.

AN: This is from the Twilight Princess storyline, wherein I had some trouble gauging the amount of time I had left before I would run out of lantern oil. The gigantic cave this is set in is a secret cave hidden behind a demolishable boulder in the cliffside at Lake Hylia. I suggest you find and explore it, but bring as many bombs as you can (meaning, wait until you have all three of the bomb bags) and have at least three bottles of lantern oil. It's a long, long haul.


Link froze as the lantern hanging on his belt sputtered and died, plunging the narrow cave passageway into complete and impenetrable darkness. The foes he had been fighting were still there of course; as every Ordon child knows, monsters don't just disappear when the lights go out.

He could smell them, hear the rustle of their leathery wings and the clink of their claw-tipped tails as they flew close to one another. Link could even feel the drafts created by their flapping and their faint body heat as they circled around him.

In his current position, perched on a narrow, aging plank of wood high above a nigh-bottomless chasm and beset by Keese who could easily kill him by knocking him off the makeshift plank-bridge, there was only one course of action Link could take. To kill them all, in self-defense of course, as swiftly and brutally as possible. Which he did.

The faint glow from the bioluminescent puffs of smoke the Keese emitted when they died pierced the gloom, revealing the layout of the cave floor for just a fraction of a second. Though it was only a brief glimpse, it was enough to show Link he may have beaten the first pit, but he still had a long way to go. Scattered in random, convoluted patterns all along the tunnel's length were more gaping holes like the one he just passed over. Link was able to count eight of the deep, ominous chasms before the light faded. There was no way for him to form a mental map in the short time he was given and, once again, no other choice.

With a resigned sigh Link dropped to his hands and knees and proceeded to crawl down the path, feeling around with his fingers to get a better idea of where he was and what obstacles might lie in his way. It was humiliating to have to scrabble around on the ground, and he was very glad Midna decided to be merciful and not say a word about it, but by the Goddesses, Link had to save Hyrule! He couldn't afford to die after tripping over a pebble in the dark and falling down a hole.

- X -

Link was starting to wish he'd tripped and fallen down a hole. Several hundred yards of crawling along the rough-hewn stone floor convinced him it may be for the best to walk instead, but not before he found he had inadvertently worn out the knees of his trousers. Now as he wandered through the dark, tapping lightly on the ground with the tip of the Master Sword like a blind man with a cane, he had little to occupy his mind with but thoughts of what might be lurking in the dark, ready and waiting to ambush him.

In this lightless cavern how was he to know if he was alone or if some foul, silent beast was creeping up behind him?

Though Link had faced and triumphed over many hideous things in the past, things that would no doubt make even the staunchest guards of Castle Town wet themselves and scream like little girls, he had never quite been able to overcome his fear of the dark. To be honest, it wasn't exactly a fear that Link suffered from but an acute paranoia. A feeling that something was out there waiting for him and a surety that when it attacked, it would take him completely unawares and unable to fight back in time. Even back home in Ordon, Link refrained from going into his basement for that very reason.

At the moment, that paranoia was heightened by the thought of Skulltulas. The giant, aggressive, durable monster spiders that inhabited most of the caves across Hyrule. The beasts were here, that much he knew since he slew several of them earlier in his spelunking expedition. They were just lying in wait, biding their time until the perfect moment when they would avenge their dead fellows.

It was all Link could think about as he walked down the twists and turns of the meandering cave. He didn't notice the layer of grimy dust that formed on his blade and clothes or the drop in temperature as he went deeper into the earth; his mind was too focused on staying alert to danger to care.

Link knew from experience that Skulltulas were cunning, quick, and effective killers. What he couldn't be sure about were the tales, horror stories really, he had heard. That once a Skulltula subdued its prey it would web its victim up, then bite and inject its venom into its prey's guts. The idea of being digested alive, dissolved from the inside out, then having his innards drunk by a giant spider while he was still squirming didn't appeal to Link in the slightest. He had also heard tell that other types of Skulltulas would only web and paralyze their victims, implanting their eggs in the prey's body so the little Skulltulettes would have a nice snack when they hatched. If there was one thing that really terrified Link, it was the prospect of being eaten alive. Despite his heroic leanings, Link had to admit that if faced with that particular fear, he would be more than willing to run, maybe even right into Zant's clutches, if it meant safety.

The longer he walked, the more he expected to hear the soft clink of a chitinous exoskeleton and feel a pair of long fangs piercing the back of his neck. He knew they were waiting, he knew! In his hyper-alert state he felt a slight change in the dead air; he heard a wiggling, skittering sound as he walked. Link's intuition, honed by countless battles, screamed that the path would open into a room very soon and that's when the attack would come, no question about it. The only uncertainty was how would they attack?

As he reached the threshold of the new chamber Link stopped tapping the ground with the Master Sword and slid into a defensive stance, his blade angled out in front of and across his body. When whatever was in there decided to come out, he would at least be somewhat ready to react. Straining his ears against the silence, he listened for hints of life in the room before him but there was nothing. There was no creak of jointed legs, no clatter of mandibles squirming in anticipation of a meal, no flutter of air being forced from many sets of book lungs; not a hint that a large arachnid predator was perched within, waiting to strike. Aside from the light plinking of water droplets striking the cavern's stone floor, a common sound in the many caves of Hyrule, Link couldn't hear anything save his own measured breathing. He could almost believe he was alone, but he had to make sure.

The darkness was complete, as it had been throughout the rest of the cave, but there were still ways to find out what was about. The air smelled slightly strange, a peculiar oily-fruity scent, but lacked the fetid odor that always seemed to linger around Skulltulas; and when he swung it, hoping to connect with strands of web or spider exoskeleton, the Master Sword sliced through nothing but empty space. As much as he hated to disregard his gut feeling, Link was forced to accept that there was nothing there; the dark had made his imagination run wild. Still, it paid to be cautious.

Keeping his sword up and ready to fend off an attack in an instant, Link stepped into the new room and circled the chamber with one hand pressed against the craggy cave wall, a technique he found helped to keep him from getting turned around. Some slight vestiges of uneasiness gnawed at him, but he couldn't for the life of him understand why, now that he was sure nothing was there. Perhaps it was that constant, rhythmic sound of falling water, wearing on his nerves like a form of remote Chinese water torture.

By his reckoning, Link was halfway around the room when he got a nasty surprise. Something chilly, wet, and slightly sticky dripped down the back of his shirt. Startled, Link wheeled around, slashing with the Master Sword at whatever it was that snuck up behind him before realizing he must have found the drip of water that he heard before. But... That couldn't be right. Link could still hear the plink of dripping water echoing from further down the path. If the noise was coming from down there, what was dripping over here?

The thought of a Skulltula's acidic venom flashed to the front of Link's mind as the crushing weight of the beast that had been clinging to the ceiling pinned him to the ground.

- X -

How long had be been fighting for? Hours, minutes, or even a handful of seconds, he couldn't tell. The adrenaline rush from the first monster's ambush completely overrode his sense of time. All Link knew was that there were a lot of them.

Every time he would kill one monster, two more would literally appear in its place to attack him. It made no sense to his warrior mind, but the more he slew, the more numerous his enemies became. If only he could have seen what he was fighting the situation would have certainly been easier to understand and to think a way out of, but blind as he was there was no way for Link to do anything but react.

Unleashing a final, random swing in the general direction of his foes, Link staggered forward and collapsed to his hands and knees in a puddle of something gooey. There were a lot of those spilled across the chamber floor, the only proof that Link had actually done some damage to his attackers. Kneeling there on the floor, Link knew he was done. He had felt his last swing connect, but he was all out of strength. Unable to see incoming attacks in the dark, he was also unable to dodge or block and ended up taking more damage than he was used to. If there were more monsters waiting in the wings, Link knew there wouldn't be a thing he could do to protect himself.

The feeling of cold... Whatever it was he was kneeling in soaking the legs of his trousers distracted Link from his thoughts of doom and defeatism just long enough for him to realize something had changed on the battlefield. The scent of oily, rotting fruit he noticed when he first entered the chamber had grown stronger, much stronger. It also seemed to split apart, like the one smell was separated into three distinct odors, all wafting together as an afterthought. The area to his left smelled of ripe fruit, further ahead was decay, and where he was sitting...

Link sniffed at the puddle he was sitting in and his heart leapt into his throat. It smelled like kerosene, lantern oil. Why would a Skulltula be carrying lantern oil? It seemed too surreal to be true, but Link didn't waste time questioning it. Tearing into his pack, he pulled out an empty bottle and scooped up a good portion of the stuff, then loaded it as best he could into the lantern still hanging on his belt.

It took some time, but the lantern seemed to be able to use the mystery oil Link poured into it. After a few seconds it began to spark, then glow, steadily growing brighter. (Link thanked the Goddesses for the fact that the lantern's light increased at a pace where his eyes could adjust without being dazzled.) With his eyesight restored, Link could finally tell just where he was and what it was he exterminated.

The chamber itself was nothing special, a standard oval arena scratched out of the stone, probably by pickaxe. What really drew Link's attention were the many puddles and pools of what he had thought to be liberated blood and viscera. They weren't quite what he expected. Instead of slimy, steaming piles of freshly spilled innards he found a slightly viscous red fluid that looked and smelled like a sweet fruit punch, a purple-black version of the stuff that smelled like rotten meat, and the light yellow kerosene-scented sort he was resting in. Chu jelly.

Damn it all. That fight was against Chus?

A quick scan of the room confirmed his suspicions, not a spider corpse or web in sight, just loads of Chu jelly. All that energy, adrenaline, and mortal terror, completely wasted. 'At least,' Link thought as he crawled over to the nearest puddle of Red Chu jelly to replenish his strength, 'now I have lantern oil and maybe, if I'm lucky, I can get Midna to agree to never mention this again.'


AN: You know you love the image of Link walking, all creeped-out, through the dark in a cave, then getting a glob of Chu Jelly down the back of his shirt. I imagine it would feel like someone shoving snow down the back of your jacket. Unpleasant, shocking, chilly... I know it'd give me the willies.