Hey guys! So yeah I'm starting on a fanfiction! :D this is completely new for me so I'm really sorry if it's bad. I do roleplay a lot on twitter but I've never written a fanfiction before, so I'm really excited :D

So since my seddie heart has been broken since iGoodbye I'm missing seddie soooooo much! I'm desperately hoping for seddie on Sam & Cat but Dan seems to be trolling us again -_- So that's why I decided to write a seddie fanfiction. I got inspired by other seddie fanfics ;) especially The Ballad Of Sam and Freddie, cause goshhhh that one's good, I love it so much! :3

Again, I apologize if my writing or story is bad. Also excuse me that my English might not always be the best sometimes, my first language isn't English since I live in the Netherlands so I'm sorry about that.

This story takes place after iGoodbye. So Sam's in L.A with Cat while Freddie's still in Seattle with Gibby and Spencer, don't worry though things will change soon ;) I'd really appreciate it if you guys review this (: that'd be great! So enjoy! :D I hope you guys like it! Let me know what you think (: SEDDIE FTW! KEEP THE FAITH MY FELLOW MIGHTY SEDDIE SHIPPERS!

Chapter 1

iAm stuck in my thoughts

~ * Sam * ~

So here I am, sitting in Cat's and mines apartment, all by myself. I'm actually really glad Cat's at school, she wouldn't wanna see me all sentimental and full of thoughts like this.

It's been about 5 months now since Carly left to Italy and I've been here in L.A. The babysitting business is fun, Cat's a great girl and it's always a fun time hanging out with her Dice and Goomer. You would say things are great for me. But as weird as it sounds, I actually miss being in school. Sitting here everyday alone while everyone's in school with their friends isn't the best. I miss goofing around and pulling pranks on the teachers. Yeah homeschool seems great, but seriously, no chiz! I already wasn't motivated to do any schoolwork, and now without Carly and Freddie pushing me around I completely lost motivation. I wonder if I'm even gonna graduate. I bet Freddie and Gibby are having a great time back at Ridgeway right now.

Enough about school . Even though I never show it, Carly leaving to Italy has a huge impact on me. I miss her more than anything. We skype about 3 times a week and call like every day but it still isn't the same. I thought Carly was having the best time of her life in Italy right now, but she's been telling me different, well not at first but I was seeing right through her act. She's having difficulties learning the language and school isn't great. She told me she has barely made any friends because the people there think she's 'too american' I mean what the heck is that supposed to mean? I swear if I could I'd take the first plane there and beat the chiz out of those Italians.

Maybe the people there aren't as sweet and nice and girly as we Carly and I thought. Speaking about sweet nice and girly, let's get to Cat. I mean the girl's great, but god that kid can get on my freaking nerves! With her hugging and buying useless stuff and her giggly yet super annoying laugh. It took me 2 years to get used to Carly. How the heck have I survived to put up with Cat now? I guess I did change a bit through the years. Cat's so innocent and childish, sometimes I wonder if I'm babysitting with her or if I'm just babysitting her.

I really wonder how she got that amount of responsibility to take good care of those kids cause Cat, mature? No. She has no idea what life is, how hard and cruel the real outside world is. I've got enough experience to talk about that, I wish I didn't. But anyway I'm glad I'm with Cat now. I guess we balance each other. She teaches me to be nice and more responsible and I teach her to stand up for ourselves and I can protect her. Cat's become an amazing friend to me, but never, never ever in this life will she replace Carly!

I'm suddenly taken out of my thoughts when Cat comes running in. She runs over to me and flops down on top of me, hugging me. ''hi hi hiiiii!''

I roll my eyes as I hug her back. ''hiya kid. What you all excited about?'' I frown as Cat grabs a piece of paper out of her bag and bungles it in front of my eyes.

''I got an A for acting class!'' she hugs me more and giggles.

I chuckle at her as I pat her on the head playfully. ''aww did the little Cat got an A from the hippie?'' I said referring to Sikowitch.

I chuckle as Cat giggly continues hugging me ''yeahhh hehehe''

I gently push her off me and walk to the kitchen and read the label of the lemonade bottle ''Want some of this err, fluffy unicorn princess lemonade?''

I roll my eyes and look over at Cat. She nods ''yeahhh!''

I pour some lemonade for us in two glasses and walk back to Cat, handing her own of them. ''congrats kid.''

She smiles at me. ''thank you! Have you seen Dice today?''

I smirk as I answer. "nope, guess he's selling his stuff to other victims today''

Cat chuckles ''yeah probably''.

Later that night I lie in my bed, thinking again. I see Cat sleeping peacefully and smile at her. She looks cute. At least she can sleep. I get back to my thoughts. Ugh why did they always have to haunt me? It's been 3 weeks since I slept properly.

I grab my phone off the night stand and text Carly, I guess it's afternoon there now so it'll be fine. I text with Carly for a while when I get a other text. I feel my heart skipping a beat when I see it's from Freddie. Not that I still love him, I mean, why. No, no, I'm over him. Ugh who the fuck am I kidding? The boy's the reason I lie awake at night. I should hate him though. After we broke up he's been nothing but cocky to me, he's such a jerk! Ugh! But no matter how much I tell myself I hate him, I know that I don't. He's all I think about, and I hate myself for that. I'm thinking about putting myself in a mental hospital again. Cause I've gone insane. I'm crazy. Crazy about Freddie!

Hesitantly I open the text and roll my eyes when I see it. 'Hey Sam. How are you?'' He's probably just lying awake because his mom pretended there was a fire again or something and has no one else to text so he just uses me. I'm so sick of it.

Our relationship obviously didn't mean anything to Freddie. Annoyed I text back. 'hey nub. Doing great, but I've run out of bacon ):' I try to change the subject to my usual Sam cravings before he asks more nubby questions. I immediately get a text back 'well that sucks..' annoyed I roll my eyes when I read it. Ugh. He's SUCH a nub! Once again I try to push my feelings away and put away my phone. I roll over and try to sleep. After a few minutes I slowly drift off to sleep.

~ * Freddie * ~

I frown as Sam hasn't replied to my text. I guess she's gone to sleep since it's 2;30 a.m. already. I don't blame her, it's not like she has a crazy mom who wakes her up to pretend there's fire 4 times a night. Ugh my mom's so annoying. I love her but she seriously needs to stop being so…well… insane!

I wonder where Sam is, after Carly left she left to go road-tripping on her motorcycle. I know she misses Carly. It'd be way too hard for her to stay here with three guys and without Carly. It's understandable.

After Carly left Gibby and I have been the target at school. Not the best senior year to have. I always imagined me, Carly, Sam and Gibby to graduate together and have a big party on iCarly. But unfortunately things turned out different.

I miss Carly. We call a few times a week. But things have been awkward since she left. I mean why did she kiss me? And why the heck did I kiss her back? I'm not in love with her! And if I'm honest I think I never was. I didn't know about love till Sam and I started dating. God the girl has been driving me insane! I hate to admit it but I miss her. I think I even miss her more as I miss Carly. Oh who am I kidding, I miss her more than anything! I've been a cocky wreck ever since we broke up. I don't even know why I was being such a jerk to her. Ugh these past months without her have been horrible.

I groan as my thoughts and feelings won't leave me alone. All that seems to be in my head is sam sam sam sam sam. But it's not like we'll get back together. I'm pretty sure she's back to hating me again after how much of a jerk I've been to her. Ugh I hate myself so much for that.

Ever since Carly and Sam aren't here in Seattle anymore my grades have gotten so bad. I'm totally messing up my school work. I can't concentrate when I'm everyone's target here. I wish they'd leave me and Gibby alone. School's horrible without Carly and Sam. And I miss doing iCarly so much. That show was my life. I wish Carly never left, and even more, I wish Sam never did. Even if she'd threat me horribly, offence me daily, humiliate me, anything would be great as long as she was here. But she isn't, and that's slowly destroying me. I wish I knew where she is. I'd travel there in a heartbeat. I'd to anything to hear her voice, to see her. Her and her gorgeous blue eyes, her pretty curly blonde hair, her cute nose, her lips, everything!

I roll over in my bed and try to push my feelings aside. Come on Freddie, just sleep, and concentrate, don't think about how mean everyone is to you, don't think about iCarly, and especially, DO NOT think about Sam! I sigh and close my eyes. After about and hour I finally feel my eyes drop and fall asleep.