When the pale two armed man took the red skinned queen of Helium as his bride, I wept bitterly, and for many days I was inconsolable.
Voorginia! That strange, beautiful male from a world unknown...How I longed to pull his face between my tusks and share tongues! How I wished to embrace him with these four arms, peel off his leathers, and partake of his bounty, but, alas, I was too afraid.
My father, Tars Tarkkas, continually brought males before me, attempting to marry me off, but I wanted none of them. I wanted to explain, but found I could not find the right words.
How could I tell anyone of this forbidden longing? So instead I made up excuses why this or that male wasn't right for me, petty, superficial, or self contradictory as they might be. And whenever a male got to pushy, and tried to have his way with me, I'd beat him so hard that he never touched me again.
When father at last confronted me about it, I knew I had to go.
It was late at night in the basin of the vast spreading red crater I called home. I rested against the stomach of my Thoat, my eight legged riding animal, next to a lake, gazing longingly at the twin moons in the starry Barsoomian sky.
Smoke issued from dinner fires, and channels in cliff dwellings where the elite prepared meals. Children laughed and played around the village of tents behind me. Musicians played and Tharks in the market argued with one another. To me, this was just background noise. My heart was...somewhere else.
At the opposite shore, other Thoats grazed, drank from the waters and made love. I thought about Voorginia.
During our travels, the man taught me much about his homeworld, a strange place filled with things called trees, and bears, and men with a variety of skin colorations, none of them green. They had animals called Unions and Confederates, and fired cannons.
Their technology was much like ours, though more primitive in some ways, more advanced in others. They had riding beasts, much like ours, but their manner of weaponry was archaic. I could see why Helium appealed to him so.
That, and the women of his species.
Could he not tell that I was drawn to him? That, perhaps, when we removed our leathers and bathed in the same lake sometimes, that I was blushing, and my eyes did not move away?
I wanted to ride up into the man's palace and forcefully take him home, to be my own.
But that would only be his body. If only it were that simple to have his heart!
This I contemplated as I skipped rocks across the lake. One of my rocks hit a Thoat in the face, causing it to groan in annoyance. For some reason, I found myself smiling.
"I must have a word with you, Sola," I heard my father saying as he knelt beside me.
He was bulky and muscular, intimidating with his sword and heavy mantle of skins, which made his awkward manner of addressing me most amusing.
I shifted on my Thoat's belly, looking away.
Father grabbed me by my tusks and turned my head, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Sola. I have brought all the suitable unmarried males of this village to you, and you have not accepted a single one of them. There are even rumors that you are of the obanbar, females who seek only the perversions of other females!"
"It is not that, father," I said. "I just...simply do not desire any of these males! What I seek is better."
"And what is better, Sola?" Father growled. "Letting our family line die with me? Last week you rejected Yuhasli because you found him `too bony', and then, when I brought you big strong Sezoda, you said he had `too many muscles and not enough brain!' You rejected Navahag for being too poor, Xagawo for being too rich, and just yesterday, when I thought I at last had found someone to meet your impossible specifications, you said his skin was `too green'! How can you shame me in such a manner?"
"It's my life, father," I said. "I do not wish to be with these for the rest of my days. I seek...something else."
Father's face was flushing with anger, eyes narrowing. "And which lofty ideal specimen do you seek? Vianfom? Geokom, perhaps? Maybe Dirusti the herder?"
I blushed. Although I had always liked Dirusti, I had fallen out of love with him years ago, and he had since married. "You would not understand."
"That is exceedingly clear! And it is obvious to the both of us that I will continue not understanding until you explain!"
"I want...Voorginia,' I blurted, turning a deep orange in embarrassment. "There. I said it."
Father jerked back in horror. "But he is not a Thark!"
"I do not care," I said. "I want him. I love him, and no one else. He is all I think about."
"Impossible!" Father shouted. "It is a perversion! You would shame our entire tribe! Besides, he is already married!"
"Then I want someone like him. If I can't have this, then I will have no one."
Father stood up, regarding me with a stern expression.
"Tomorrow, you are marrying Tashomk. He is...like Voorginia in many respects, and he is a Thark."
"No," I said. "He is not anything like Voorginia. I do not love him."
"I am not asking you," Father said. "I am telling you. You will be married to Tashomk on the morrow."
That very hour, I loaded my harness and the saddle of my Thoat with as many traveling possessions as I could, and set off across the desert, leaving my village behind.
I would not be married.
Not unless I could find my pale man. A man like Voorginia.
I wandered the desert wastes, in search of love.