One day, Harry Potter was sitting in the Gryffindor Common Room with Ron and Hermione.
"Hey guys!" Harry said.
"Hey Harry!" They said.
Suddenly, the portrait of the fat lady ripped open, and standing there was Voldemort!!!
"OH NO!!!!" Ron screamed.
Harry just stood there, looking rather bored.
"Harry, watch out! It's Voldemort!" Ron warned him.
"So what," Harry said, "He is seriously never gonna kill me. I mean, there are gonna be 7 books, aren't there? I can't die."
Voldemort took out his wand and cast that killing spell thing. But it bounced off Harry's scar and hit Neville just as he walked into the room.
"You killed Neville!" Ron screamed, "I loved Neville! He was my heart's desire, but I never got to tell him… Now it's too late! You bitch!"
Ron lunged at Voldemort, but it was too late. Voldemort killed Ron.
Harry ran to Hermione.
"I don't want it to be too late," He whispered in her ear, "I love you Hermione, and I always have."
Somehow, Cho Chang heard Harry say that and she came into the common room.
"But you're supposed to love me!" she shouted. She cast the death spell on Harry but it bounced off Harry and hit her. She died.
"Well I guess it's for the best," Harry sighed.
But then, Voldemort did some new special little spelly thingy, and he killed Harry.
Hermione ran to Voldemort.
"Oh Voldemort! I love you! Take me away with you!" Hermione said, clinging to Voldemort.
"Well, this is kind of gross, since I'm like 50 years older than you." Voldemort said, in his icy cold, but manly voice.
"Oh but Voldie Boy (that was Hermione's pet name for him), age makes no difference to me!"
"Sooooooo then, you wanna hook up? I've got this pink unicorn outside and we can like, go elope or something." Voldemort said.
"Oh that would be marvelous!" Hermione crooned.
The went outside and they got on the pink unicorn's back. For some reason Voldemort had a baby with the pink unicorn, and the baby was a blob. The unicorn died. Voldemort and Hermione lived in a shack, and took care of the blob, but Hermione was mad because the blob was brown, so she painted it the Gryffindor colors. Unfortunately, Voldemort got mad and painted it the Slytherin colors. Then the ghost of the pink unicorn came to haunt Voldie.
"I AMMM LANNCEEE, THEEE PINNNKK UNNICCCORRRN!!!!" said the ghost.
"AAHHHH!!!" Voldemort screamed, "I didn't know you were a guy! How did I have a baby blob with a guy pink unicorn?"
~~~~~Sorry it's so weird. I am a huge Harry Potter fan, so you can write flames about how this makes fun of harry potter if ya want, but seriously I just did this when I was bored, and very, very sick.