Note: This was originally in "Words", but I moved it out on a whim because I think it can stand alone. Also, on a random note, I've recently started moving my stories over to AO3 in light of some of the recent issues FFN has been having. I don't really expect the site to go down and I don't particularly like AO3's layout, but I figured it was better safe than sorry. It's already going to take forever to move it all over now. It's just for archiving purposes, so I'm still going to be mostly active here and everything will get posted here first. But if you read on AO3 too and see all my old crap popping up, I apologize X)

Erza was on a mission. Possibly the most important of missions.

When she marched into the guild hall, heavy box tucked safely under her arm, Gray was the first of the team that she spotted. Target acquired.

"Gray."

"What's up, Erza?" Gray watched in bemusement as Erza flounced over to drop the box onto the table beside him and sit down. He searched her face and frowned at whatever he saw. "Are you alright?"

"No. Something terrible has happened, and I need your help."

His eyes turned dead serious as he took in her grim demeanor. "Of course. What happened?"

"It all started because of…this!" Erza threw the lid of the box open with a grand flourish.

Gray blinked at the contents. "Because of strawberry cake?"

The worry was fading from his face now, to be replaced by something almost exasperated. Erza was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Yes. I have a problem, namely that my cake expenditures have lately begun exceeding my earnings. How am I supposed to buy armor? Or get food? Or pay rent?"

Gray propped his elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his fist, now looking thoroughly unamused. "Maybe spend less on cake and budget for the things you actually need? Geez, Erza, don't do that. I thought this was a real emergency or something, and it's all about cake again. Not cool."

This was not going as well as Erza had planned, but her heart had hardened with determination and she forged on. "This is an emergency! How am I supposed to live with this? So, being the genius I am, I came up with a solution. A wonderful solution."

"A solution that doesn't involve budgeting or money management, I presume," Gray muttered under his breath.

Erza graciously ignored him as she warmed to her theme. "It would be much cheaper if I could make cake instead of always having to buy it."

"That…is actually surprisingly practical of you," Gray said, taken aback by her ingenuity.

"But it still has to be the same cake, so I went to the bakery to get the recipe."

His admiration waned abruptly. "I take it that went well. Erza, you can't go up to a bakery and say that you want their secret recipe so that you don't have to pay them for their services anymore. You really thought they'd hand it over?"

"No, but I was prepared."

"Oh no…"

Erza grinned, eyes alight at her own genius. "I held the chef and owner at sword-point until they agreed to hand it over."

"Oh, Erza," Gray groaned, dropping his face into his hands. "You didn't. They actually gave it to you?"

Erza scowled as the problem came full circle. "No," she said peevishly. "They managed to escape and lock me out, and now I'm banned. Banned! I'm not even allowed to buy cakes there anymore! This here is the last cake I'll ever have from them!"

"…Sorry, but I'm not going to help you plan an assault on a bakery."

She smiled as she once again remembered the brilliance of her plan. "No, no, I already tried that. What I'm going to do is figure out their recipe on my own! Using this last cake, I'm going to figure out how to recreate it. And you're going to help me. But first, I'm going to eat a slice because I deserve a treat after going through all that hassle."

Producing a fork from thin air—Erza was nothing if not prepared, and she always set aside a small corner of her requip space to house her stash of emergency cake forks—she dug into the cake happily. She needed to leave enough to taste test and compare to her coming confections, but surely it couldn't hurt to take a nibble now.

"…Right." Gray shook his head. "That sounds like a job for Lucy."

"But–"

"Look, if you need groceries or anything, I'll get them for you, okay? But I don't bake. Maybe Lucy will have a better idea of how to go about this, because I haven't a clue."

He called Lucy over from where she'd been chatting with Natsu and Lisanna, and Erza had to explain the situation all over again, wasting valuable time she could be using to figure out how to make the cake of her dreams.

"You'll help me, won't you, Lucy?" Erza clasped her friend's hands and stared into her eyes earnestly.

"Uh…" Lucy hesitated but then sighed. "Of course. Bring that cake back to the kitchen and let's ask Mira what she knows about baking. She does a lot of cooking."

Erza thought this a very sensible idea, so gave up on Gray and his obstinate unhelpfulness to follow Lucy back behind the bar and into the kitchen. And then she had to explain the situation all over again for Mira.

"Well, it would depend on a lot of things," Mira said, tapping a thoughtful finger to her lips. "I know a bunch of basic measures you could start with, and you'd have to tweak them based on trial and error and the characteristics of your specific cake. Can I try some to give you a better idea of what you're looking at?"

Erza, as a rule, did not let anyone touch her strawberry cake. But despite her reluctance, she decided that this was an emergency situation. She would do whatever it took to unlock the secret of her beloved cake.

So, two slices later, Mira and Lucy were discussing possibilities.

"It's not very dense but has a high sugar content," Mira mused, scribbling on a pad. "A buttercream-type frosting, I believe. Very sweet. Here. We should have most of these things around here, but you might need to get more if you have to try making it too many times. And we're out of fresh strawberries."

This seemed like a job for Gray, and Erza handed him a copy of the makeshift recipe along with instructions to get enough of everything to make at least ten cakes. His eyebrows had done a funny little twitch at that, but he wisely kept his mouth shut and headed out to the store.

Meanwhile, the girls turned to collecting ingredients and mixing together the first batch of cake batter. When Gray returned to drop the requested items on the counter and sneak out again before Erza could rope him into a more active role, they added in the strawberries and put the first cake in the oven.

While that baked, they got started on the icing. Starting with the most basic of recipes, they took frequent swipes of icing samples from the example cake to tweak things. A spoonful of sugar, a pinch of salt, a splash more of water—not that much water!—more strawberries…

"Come on, Erza," Lucy said wearily, scrubbing at her face with her hands. Twenty minutes in, and she had already tired of all the alterations. "It tastes good."

Erza, on the other hand, was having the time of her life and attacked the task with great enthusiasm and zeal. "But it's not perfect. Here, what about some more strawberries?"

Fifteen minutes later, she stood back in awe as she licked her finger. "That's it," she breathed reverently. "We've done it. It's perfect!"

Lucy took a swab of icing from both the cake and bowl and tasted them. "Huh," she said in surprise. "That is pretty close."

Erza was ecstatic, and was practically hopping about the kitchen in excitement. They'd gotten the icing perfect, which was already fifty percent of the way there. This was going marvelously. Why hadn't she thought to do it sooner?

The cake itself put a slight damper on her triumph when it came out of the oven. It looked fine, but after giving it time to cool and attempting to remove it from the pan, they came to the realization that it was well and truly stuck.

"Good grief!" Lucy cried in frustration after nearly five minutes of unsuccessful maneuvering. All she had to show for her efforts was a heap of jagged cake scraps piled high on a plate. "Did you flour the pan, Erza?"

"Of course I did," Erza said with a sniff. "I did what you said. Look, you can even still see the flour on pieces of the cake."

"Hm…" Lucy frowned and ran a finger along the side of the pan. "Did you grease it first?"

"What? Why would I do that?"

"So that the flour sticks to the pan. Otherwise it just falls down and doesn't work."

"…Oh. How was I supposed to know that? You only said to flour the pan."

"Because you– Oh, never mind. Let's at least see what it tastes like so we know what adjustments to make for the next try."

They fetched Mira from out in front, stole a few more slivers of the original cake for comparison, and made adjustments to the next batch. Since there had been nothing to ice and the icing they had was already perfected, there was nothing to do but wait for the cake to finish. Since she had nothing better to do, Erza ate another piece of her beloved strawberry cake. It was the last one she'd get, after all, until she perfected her own recipe. She ate another one for good measure.

"Don't eat it all," Lucy warned. "We still need it to help us figure out the recipe."

Erza dismissed that. There was still a third of the cake left.

She was practically vibrating with excitement when the cake came out of the oven and slid out of the pan without a problem.

"Let's try it," Lucy said, already looking to be in better spirits than with the last one.

"Wait! We have to ice it first!"

"But–"

"It has to be iced."

Lucy backed down. "Okay, okay."

They spread pink frosting over the entire cake, and Erza smiled in delight. It looked perfect.

"Let's get Gray in here to try it first," she decided.

"Huh? Why?"

"As a reward for buying us all the ingredients." Erza smirked as she added, "And also because I want to prove to him that we did it. He didn't think I could."

Gray was less than enthused by this idea, and Erza had to practically drag him all the way back to the kitchen.

"But I don't even like your strawberry cake," he complained. "It's too sweet and gross."

"Stop being such a baby and try it."

Under duress, Gray took the smallest forkful possible. His face was already screwed up in disgust before the cake entered his mouth, but his reaction was instantaneous when it hit his tongue. He froze, eyes bugging out comically, and then turned downright green and started gagging.

"Are you trying to kill me?" he wheezed past his gagging and coughing. "I'm sorry I wasn't supportive of your cake plans. Please stop trying to kill me."

"Huh? Stop overreacting." Erza rolled her eyes and took a bite of the cake. Something bitter and salty exploded in her mouth, and her eyes watered as she began coughing. "Oh. Oh my goodness."

"What?" Lucy looked between Gray and Erza with a puzzled frown and then took a small, cautious bite. Her face twisted in distaste. "Erza…do you think it's possible that you might have accidentally put in salt instead of sugar?"

Erza had no defense for this. Gray slunk back out with his tail between his legs, still eyeing her like she was a rabid dog.

It was an embarrassing setback, but Erza wasn't going to let it stop her. She was determined to make this cake work, and she threw herself into the task with all the enthusiasm she could muster. There was nothing she loved quite as much as strawberry cake.

With the new cake safely in the oven, a new problem presented itself.

"This is why I didn't want to ice the cake until we knew if it was good or not," Lucy said with a sigh, peering forlornly into their empty icing bowl.

"It's alright," Erza said dismissively. "We already made it once. We'll just do it the same way as last time."

"Yeah, but we were just adding little amounts of this and that. Did you keep track of exactly what we were adding to the original recipe? Because I didn't."

Erza's mouth dropped open. She hadn't even considered that. What good was it to have made the perfect icing recipe if they hadn't kept track of anything so that they could make it again later?

But she rallied, summoning up her determination to conquer the challenge with great zeal.

"We'll just do it again!"

But no matter how much they played with the frosting, they could never get it quite right again. And the cake wasn't right either. Nor were the next four cakes they tried. Lucy began begging to quit, hopeless defeat written into every line of her face. Even placid Mira was starting to look weary and haggard.

And as the last remaining bakery cake was whittled down to one last piece by constant taste-testing and stress-eating, even Erza's spirits began to sink. She was still determined to succeed and wasn't ready to give up yet, but the vibrancy of her excitement waned.

"This is hopeless," Lucy said with a sigh, leaning back against the counter to stare mournfully at their latest attempt.

"I think it's getting better," Erza said optimistically.

"…I don't think so."

"Hey, this is actually pretty good!" Natsu said.

Erza turned around, not having heard him enter the kitchen, and froze. Natsu was standing beside the bakery box, gobbling up the last slice of cake in big bites. The last slice of cake.

"Oh no," Lucy whispered, her eyes widening in horror.

Natsu chattered on, oblivious to his misstep. "I mean, Gray warned me not to try any of your cake if you asked me to play taste-tester, but this is actually great. You could even sell this in a bakery, if you wanted!"

"Natsu," Erza said in a low voice, her grief at her beloved cake's demise slowly morphing into black fury, "did you just eat the last piece of my cake?"

"Huh?" Natsu blinked at her in confusion and then looked back down at the box. Understanding dawned slowly in his eyes, followed quickly by fear. "Oh."

"Natsu, run," Lucy warned.

"I'm sorry!" Natsu wailed. Needing no further encouragement, he turned and sprinted out of the kitchen. "I didn't know!"

"Get back here!" Erza howled, chasing after him. She was going to kill him for stealing the last hope of ever tasting her strawberry cake again.

She lunged forward and tackled him to the ground, where he flailed about frantically.

"I'm sorry!" he wailed. "Get off!"

"That was my last piece ever of strawberry cake!"

"I'm sorry! Please don't kill me! I'll do anything!"

"I'm going to kill you, you little…" Erza frowned thoughtfully and paused her assault, while Natsu continued struggling beneath her. "Anything?"

"Yes! Anything!"

"Okay." She smiled brightly. "I'm banned from the bakery now, so you're going to be my go-between. Whenever I want a cake, you have to go buy it for me. And don't tell them it's for me or that you're my friend."

Natsu's flailing slowed and ceased as he blinked up at her in consternation. "That's it? Just get you cake?"

"Yes," Erza said, pleased with herself for her brilliance. Even Gray would have to approve of the practicality of this newest scheme. "Starting now."

"O…kay? Give me the money and I'll get you whatever you want."

Erza gave him a beatific smile. "No. You're going to buy me cake whenever I want."

A look of horror spread across his face. "Wait, what? Do you have any idea how much cake you eat? How am I supposed to pay for that?"

"You said anything."

"But–"

Erza whipped out a sword and held it to his throat. She smiled.

Natsu gulped loudly and signaled his surrender. Erza let him up and smiled after him as he scurried off out the door.

And all was right with the world again.

Note: Oh, Erza lol She's such a goofball.

emmahoshi: Aw, I'm sorry to hear that :( Guess I should've waited a little longer on the cake story lol Well, Erza doesn't strike me as the kind of person who is completely rational when it comes to cake X) She can be so mature sometimes, but sometimes she's just a total dork lacking some knowledge of how the world works lol Buttercream is way too sweet for me too, tbh. It's why I used it here, because I have that running gag where Gray thinks the cake is way too sweet and that's why in my mind lol Cream cheese frosting is the best, though :D I'm all about that. With a spoon? O.o Huh. I thought forks were pretty standard with cake. Learn something every day XD Hope you feel better soon :)