By your Powers Combined, a captain planet fanfic

Summary: We all know the story of captain planet. When the Planeteers combine their powers, a big blue guy with green hair and a mullet appears to clean things up, literally. But what would happen if their rings didn't work the way they expected?

By your Powers Combined…

ShadowAI: Welcome aboard everyone, this is your author speaking. Please make sure your luggage is safely stored and your seat-belt is securely fastened. You are about to embark on a trip, a journey to boldly go where no man has gone before. A journey not only of sight and sound, but of mind. You are about to enter: the product of a severely twisted plot bunny.

The idea for this story started with a review by the Nostalgia Critic of a little known show called Captain Planet. Naturally this somehow lodged itself into my brain like an itch I could not scratch, and scratch it I did. The result was a funny conversation regarding an idea of what would happen if the Planeteer rings malfunctioned, summoning characters from other walks of life, and universes, instead of the blue guy himself. That conversation manifested itself into a story which my friend Zaion Indulias and I now bring to you. We are expecting continuity breaches during the middle of our flight so make sure you do not unfasten your seatbelts until the seatbelt light is turned off.

Now sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight.

Zaion Indulias: Not much to say yet…

Disclaimer: We do not own Captain Planet and any other copyrighted material that may be mentioned in this chapter.

ShadowAI and Zaion Indulias are responsible for this travesty that now sits before you.

Chapter 1 : Estuans Iternius

Gale force winds and five foot waves crashed and tore at a tropical beach which used to be part of a popular tourist resort. Sadly there were no tourists, much less a resort, around anymore. The idyllic and peaceful locale had been transformed into a warzone in a span of a mere ten minutes as the forces of evil and good once again crashed against one another.

"WIND!" A beautiful blonde girl who looked every one of her eighteen years shouted as yet another mini tornado erupted from the small golden ring on her finger. "Gi I could use some help!"

Behind her another girl wearing a blue jacket and brown board-shorts pointed her ring and cried, "WATER!"

To compliment the mini-cyclone a stream of water entwined itself into the wind and becoming an aqua-cyclone.

"EARTH!" "FIRE!"

Shards of rock and embers of fire joined the growing storm to create a complete balance of the four elements as a destructive force which tore up the sand and water as it approached.

The intended target of the spell merely cackled as with a push of a button a wall of titanium arose and bore the brunt of the elemental assault. "Is this the best that you Planeteers can do? That was pathetic. My storm-breaker shields can withstand hurricanes let alone your silly little breezes." He resumed cackling in his slimy oozing voice.

"Look, it's not going to work, can we summon Captain Planet already." The youngest member of the teenagers known as the Planeteers asked of the remaining four members who were still in shock after seeing their strongest attack being thwarted so easily.

"We've been summoning him too much lately." Said the dark-haired asian girl with the 'water' ring. "We shouldn't rely on him so much. We can handle this one ourselves." Her viewpoint was met with several nods of agreement from her remaining three teammates.

"Fine! If you won't summon him, I will." The young boy almost yelled.

"Well this is getting a bit out of hand." The dark-skinned boy and de-facto leader of the Plateneers consented before turning around and facing the 20-story building in which their opponent was currently hiding. "Time to put an end to this game. Turis Trap! We're going to take you and your resorts down!"

"Ha ha ha ha," their opponent laughed over the loudspeakers. "I'd like to see you try planet punks! Go ahead bring out the blue-skinned blunder. I can take whatever you throw at me."

"Very well. Let our powers combine," Kwame, the leader of the Planeteers and their representative from Africa began: "EARTH!" A green beam from his ring shot into the sky.

"FIRE!" The red-headed American member, Wheeler, shouted as a red beam joined the green one.

"WIND!" The Russian blonde girl, Linka, called out merging her white colored beam with the rest.

"WATER!" The Thai brunette, Gi, yelled as her blue beam was added.

"Heart." The somewhat unenthused member of the Planteers, Ma-Ti from Brazil, said as his yellow beam faltered before joining up.

"What's his deal?" Wheeler asked the blonde Russian next to him.

"I think he's sad he doesn't have an elemental power like the rest of us so he can't help out." The girl replied.

As she was about to walk over and comfort their sullen member, Kwame spoke up, "Isn't this taking a little too long?" He asked pointing up to the sky where their energies were merging.

"Yeah where is Captain Planet anyhow?" Wheeler asked. No sooner than those words left his mouth than did the ground beneath them began to rumble violently as if an earthquake had suddenly struck the island. The sky darkened from its light gray into a dark purple, completely blotting out the sun.

"Guys, what's happening?" Asked Gi, scared by this recent turn of events.

"What the hell are you doing you stupid eco-brats?" The voice of Turis came over the loudspeaker, although his attempt to appear menacing was betrayed by an undertone of fear.

"Oh no!" The frightened voice of Ma-Ti yelled over the spikes of lightning crashing into the beach.

"What's wrong Ma-Ti?" Gi yelled before rushing over to the teen. Ma-Ti was on his knees in the sand with his hands covering his ears.

"I can hear them!" he trembled, "The voices of those he has murdered. They're chanting his name."

"What's wrong Ma-Ti? Who is it?" asked Gi as panic crept into every syllable.

"What have we done?" muttered Ma-Ti, "What have we done?"

Just as the symphony of the storm of earth, water, wind, and thunder seemed to be reaching its crescendo, everything stopped. The landscape was bathed in a silence so palpable it could be cut with a knife.

(AN: I had 777 words right up until this note.)

(ZN: Correction, ShadowAI HAD 777 words right up until that note, until I took care of my editing duties.)

(AN: before I get into writing this I would like to note, I am not gay.)

(ZN: He really isn't. I've seen him eyeing the girls during dance competitions. He was eyeing them very, VERY closely. As did I, but can you blame me? The girls on our team were HOT!)

(AN: Wow, scary thing is I know some of those girls read fanfics, Harry Potter fanfics granted, so I think now would be a good time for me to go into the Author Protection Program)

(ZN: Um, buddy? Wanna warn me which ones I need to go into hiding from? I really, REALLY don't want to be killed by any of them. Dancing gives them very powerful legs…)

(AN: Nah, I'll let you find out by yourself. *grins*)

In place of their usual ally, Captain Planet, a rather unusual figure stood before the shell-shocked and frightened Planeteers. Standing at 183 centimeters tall, with long flowing silvery locks which reached his waist, was a slim pale-skinned man. What was strange about his appearance was that he was wearing Captain Planet's uniform of choice: a tight-fitting red speedo with a black belt and an even tighter red top which covered his abs and nothing else. The remainder of his form was unclothed and his perfect physique shone eerily in the pale light of the landscape.

While most of the Planeteers fought the urge to piss their pants, the two addled girls equally resisted the pressure in their heads to keep from getting a nose-bleed while staring at the perfectly-contoured ass in front of them. Their resistance proved futile as the figure began taking slow, smooth steps toward the array of metal walls that Turis had summoned earlier.

With the absence of any other sound the man's footsteps echoed like the beats of a clock that counted down to Armageddon.

"Who, who the hell are you?" roared the loudspeakers, of the former resort's hotel, which had become Turis' stronghold.

The figure stopped before raising his left arm, and in tandem a black angelic wing sprouted from his back and hung across his shoulder like a cloak giving him an eerie angelic profile. By this point only her fear of the being was stopping Linka from running up and pinning the Adonis-like angel to the ground. Her thoughts were only rivaled by those of her fellow female, Gi.

"Bishie…" Linka heard her teammate mumble in awe.

"Da…" she could only confirm.

"My name," the angel began in a soft baritone voice that seemed to echo across the empty beach. "is Sephiroth."

"Did he really need a pause?" Wheeler whispered, which earned him a kick from Gi and Linka to the shins, with a glare that promised a second one to a less comfortable region.

"Die!" he snapped before pointing his hand toward the hotel. "Meteor!" His wing expanded to its full span as he levitated a few centimeters off the ground and his body began to glow a menacing blue. Within seconds runic circles appeared around him before the entire beach seemed to vanish and they found themselves looking at a bright glowing object in a sea of stars as runes, equations, and diagrams began flashing before them. Eventually the entire landscape centered itself upon the image of a fast moving meteor that began its journey, ostensibly to their location, by crashing into Pluto. Needless to say Turis was beginning to suffer from an epileptic seizure. Everyone on the beach seemed to hold their breath as they waited to see the conclusion of the Meteor's journey.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

9 minutes and 50 seconds later.

"Got any seven's?" asked a tired Kwame looking over his cards.

"Ha ha, guess again, oh and go fish." Wheeler gloated before turning to Linka. "Got any love for me babe?"

"Ugh, go fish!" she said before punching him in the stomach.

Suddenly the illusion shattered and the scene on the beach returned. "About freaking time." Grumbled Gi as she got up and brushed her shorts off. "That took forever!"

"Hey guys, it's coming!" Ma-Ti yelled while pointing up at the cloud covered sky, which had a break in it as a bright orange sphere was approaching their location.

"I got this!" yelled Kwame, "EARTH!" With a cylindrical beam a wall of stone rose up and surrounded the Planeteers. "Take cover!"

Within seconds a loud explosion rocked the beach as waves once again started crashing all around them. The earth rumbled even more fiercely than before and a bright flash of light shot across the sky. The Planeteers rode out the wave of destruction behind their wall for a few seconds before Kwame lowered it.

In front of them, a large amount of smoke was emanating from the area where Sephiroth stood, however his scantily-clad form (AN: God I'm really not gay) was visible to each of the Planeteers, to the distaste of some and pleasure of others. Despite the fact that his back was turned to them, all of them, especially Ma-Ti, could feel the satisfied smirk that must have been on his face.

The wall in front of them was smoking with an angry hiss of metal that was cooling down. The partition in front of Sephiroth had a fissure running down the length of the four meter wall that was roughly twenty centimeters in width.

"Wait a minute, wait a minute!" Yelled Gi as she looked over at the crack in the Titanium walls. "I don't know where exactly you got this meteor power of yours, but it makes absolutely no sense. What you're saying is, you summoned a meteor from beyond the solar system which in turn managed to travel to Earth within all of ten minutes, managed to shatter every other planet along the way before crashing into Earth and only doing as much damage as this crack in the wall?" Gi's voice rose to an amazingly high pitch at the end.

"I shattered his defenses, did I not?" The smooth voice of Sephiroth replied, completely unfazed by Gi's hysteria.

"Well listen here, if your so-called 'Meteor' traveled from the edge of the Solar System to Earth, a distance that is approximately 5.8 billion kilometers, in ten minutes than that thing must have been going thirty two thousand times the speed of light! On top of that if it managed to break every single planet before earth then it must have doubled back several times as not all planets are in alignment. Then you're not factoring in the amount of energy it must have needed to shatter the planets as it would have required to survive their atmospheres before shattering and destabilizing their cores!" Gi took a breath "The velocity needed to achieve so much kinetic energy is so ridiculous it can only be achieved in the wet dreams of scientists and sci-fiauthors. Not to mention the detrimental effects that the atmospheres of Gas Giants would have on a object traveling through them, I mean what the fuck is that thing made out of, fucking gundanium? We should have seen strings of nuclear explosions lighting up the entire fucking sky! Oh and let's not forget the definition of the word Meteor which is an object that is at most 50 meters in diameter, and if composed of mostly iron like it's supposed to then it should only mass 515 thousand kilograms, which is only a hundred quadrillionth of the mass of Pluto! So, please, tell me, how the fuck did that miracle of a meteor only manage to crack that pathetic titanium wall when by all accounts it should have shattered the entire time-space continuum!?" Gi's voice reached a shriek by the time her rant was complete.

The silver-haired demi-angel replied with a deafening silence causing everyone present to start trembling. With his previous gait, Sephiroth advanced on Gi, who by this point, realizing her folly, sunk to her knees, and curved his mouth into a thin worried smile. Within a blink of an eye, Sephiroth vanished, leaving behind a black feather, and reappeared behind Gi with a long, and I mean really long, katana-like sword, the tip of which was sticking out through the middle of Gi's chest.

"Gi!" Ma-Ti yelled as he ran past the imposing figure and slid on his knees just in time to catch Gi's body as it fell to the ground. As her soft body fell into his arms he felt her short black hair brush up against his elbow. His useless ring was telling him that her life-force was almost completely gone, causing him to hold her tightly against his chest as tears began escaping his eyes.

Raising his left hand, Sephiroth pointed at the edifice which once served as a hotel for tourists, bright red jets of flame shot out and surrounded the entire beach, causing the light silver titanium of the walls to glow brightly. The flames turned into a firestorm instantaneously as they ate up the entire beach.

As the former resort in front of Sephiroth exploded a white speed-boat roared out of the marina and began speeding out of sight toward the ocean. Smiling Sephiroth brought his hand toward the watercraft before saying "Descend, Heartless Angel!" Within seconds the boat exploded in a bright fireball which contrasted against the violet sky.

After looking around, as if marveling at his painting, Sephiroth proceeded to walk into the raging inferno.

"Where do you think you're going?" Shouted Ma-Ti as he stood up, dropping the body of Gi with a thud. Without responding, Sephiroth merely turned around and looked at them, smiling, before the fire consumed the last of his presence.

"Even if Gi was still alive," said Linka holding back tears for her closest friend, "I don't think we can put down this flame."

The feeling of misery and hopelessness permeated the beach, even though the sky began to return to a more neutral gray color.

Wheeler silently began to walk up to the nearest tree, and ripped of a small branch before returning back to his teammates. "Guys, we're the Planeteers! We can overcome this! We can't let this get us down. I'm sure Gi wouldn't want us here crying over her, we have to make the best of this,"

"What the hell do you mean make the best of this?" Linka screamed into Wheeler's face. "My friend is dead, and this entire island will burn down!"

Taken aback by Linka's shouting, Wheeler turned around and reached his hand into his pocket before pulling something out. While his back was turned to his teammates he fumbled around a bit and stood there facing the fire and the body of their teammate silently while the fires burned and crackled around them.

Ma-Ti, lifting his head up, was eyeing him strangely before asking, "Wheeler, what are you,"

Before Ma-Ti could finish asking, Wheeler turned around, flashing them a goofy smile and hiding his hands behind his back, "Guuys," he began before producing the branch he tore off with several white objects threaded on it like a shish-ka-bob, "Who wants S'mores?"

Fin

Author's Notes, ShadowAI:

-For the purposes of this chapter, I have the ages of the Planeteers at: Ma-Ti(16), Linka, Wheeler(18), Gi, Kwame(19). Although I don't know what the cannon ages are, this takes place a few years into the future (at least four since Ma-Ti was 12 in cannon)

-With regards to Linka, seeing as how she's been around English speakers for a few years now, I figure her speech would be fairly close to English with except for that accent. Trust me, I'm Russian and I know what it would sound like and that atrocious attempt at it in the actual show doesn't count.

-While Sephiroth uses Supernova to the effect that meteor was used here, I made it just a tiny bit less dramatic here. Also I somewhat based it off of the parody of Sephiroth by Press Start: Bonus Levels

-I did in fact do the rudimentary calculations that were given in Gi's rant. My sources were Google, Wikipedia, and my rudimentary knowledge of the laws of physics.

-If there are any physicists out there who wish to elaborate on my rant, leave your suggestions in the form of a review. Your insights are always welcome.

Author's Notes, Zaion Indulias:

-For the purpose of keeping things consistent I am using the same system for these notes as ShadowAI does. Also, I'm just going along with his chosen ages.

-I agree with ShadowAI on Linka's voice. I know him, and I've known numerous other native Russians over the years, and none of them bloody sounded like that. In fact, if they've been here long enough, especially if they came over in their teens, they pick up English pretty well.

-Shadow, buddy? Care to give me a link to that parody? Sounds like it might be funny.

--ShadowAI: just look up Press Start on Newgrounds, the parody in question is an episode called 'Endgame Part1'

-I was too lazy and too busy working on the omake to double-check his calculations.

-Yes, do. I always like to learn more about astrophysics.

…And now, the first in a series of what will likely come to be known as the Omake from Hell. I apologize in advance for what is to come (AN: So do I.), and it should be noted VERY clearly that this does NOT represent mine nor ShadowAI's sexual preferences. Homosexuality is completely fine in my book, but ShadowAI and I are both quite straight. And in advance, I apologize to any Yaoi fangirls who have been led to believe that they are getting Sephiroth gay-sex from this Omake. That is not to be the case.

(AN: *trembling* do I want to look or no?)

WARNING: The Omake that you are about to read is not canon for this fic. It is the twisted brain child of three beers, a stomach full of Japanese food, and knowing far, far, FAR too many yaoi fangirls. (dating one too many as well) The content is decidedly not kosher, so if you have any problem with references to sexual acts, genitalia, or homosexuality please exit the plane through the door at the rear. Parachutes are on the rack next to it. You will be picked up by the Coast Guard of Stick-Up-The-Ass-Ania as soon as you land in the water.

WARNING: this fanfic respects the rules of biology (within reason) and therefore will have no male pregnancies unless the subject is a seahorse.

Omake From Hell

Zaion Indulias is responsible forthis travesty that now sits before you.

ShadowAI is simply responsible for a little enhancement.

Chapter 1: Sephy-chan

9 minutes and 50 seconds later.

"Got any seven's?" asked a tired Kwame looking over his cards.

"Ha ha, guess again, oh and go fish." Wheeler gloated before turning to Linka. "Got any love for me babe?"

"Ugh, go fish!" she said before punching him in the stomach.

Suddenly the illusion shattered and the scene on the beach returned. "About freaking time." Grumbled Gi as she got up and brushed her shorts off. "That took forever!"

"Hey guys, it's coming!" Ma-Ti yelled while pointing up at the cloud covered sky, which had a break in it as a bright orange sphere was approaching their location.

"I got this!" yelled Kwame, "EARTH!" With a cylindrical beam a wall of stone rose up and surrounded the Planeteers. "Take cover!"

In front of them, a large amount of smoke was emanating from the area where Sephiroth stood, however there was no sign of his scantily-clad form, to the relief of some and the worry of others.

As the smoke cleared it revealed a crater in the ground in front of the fissure, and a dirty Sephiroth attempting and barely succeeding in pushing him self over onto his back.

"Oh my god?! Are you all right?!" Gi and Linka both asked simultaneously as they rushed to his side to make sure he was ok.

"I'm…out of energy." Was Sephiroth's terse reply.

"Oh no! Is there any way we can help you recover?" Gi asked as she shot worried looks towards the open fissure in the wall.

"Sex." The silver-haired man said in his usual terse tone of voice.

He was suddenly coughing as a dust cloud rose around him as Gi and Linka began to remove their clothes at superhuman speeds, revealing their nude bodies to their shocked and suddenly turned on teammates.

"Not with women." Sephiroth continued, looking pointedly towards the remaining three Planeteers.

Kwame, Wheeler, and Ma-Ti all paled. Before the three boys could refuse the request (more of a command really) outright one of the loudspeakers came to life.

"HAH!! Even your ultimate attack couldn't breach my defenses!! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" Turis' voice came through the loudspeakers despite the static due to damage.

Swallowing their pride the three male Planeteers began to mentally evaluate the worth of their anuses against the worth of saving the world.

"I can understand your hesitation." Sephiroth said assertively, "Rest assured that oral,"

"All right already!" Wheeler yelled cutting him off, while trying to keep the disgust out of his voice. "Let's get this over with."

After several long moments the three hesitantly began a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors. This went on for nearly a minute before finally someone lost.

Ma-Ti had done Rock.

Wheeler had done Scissors.

Kwame had done…Rock.

Groaning and trying not to let his utter disgust drive him to run away screaming in terror Wheeler carefully approached Sephiroth, his eyes widening as he realized that the girls had already-

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Error: Recording Device damaged by use of Meteor. All data beyond this point is unrecoverable.

Ending Playback

*screen shuts down*

(AN: *cracks up* nice one. You know having MS word give you the option to 'accept insertion' with regards to changes between different versions of a document is not helping.)