Subject: Vision Of Escaflowne Fan Fiction
Title: The Poison In Mind : A Hitomi Story
Author: Julie Hunter
Disclaimer: The story is completely my own. However, the characters and
related themes, names, direct and indirect references to The Vision of
Escaflowne, is completely owned by its creators. I take no credit for the
use of the characters and related themes, names and the direct and indirect
references to The Vision of Escaflowne.
Also the poem in the card is property of the greeting card company,
BeauCraft, located in Mississauga, Ontario, Canada.
Rating: All Audiences
Genre: Drama/Suspence
Spoilers: Yes
Chapter One: Darkness
The room was dark tonight. No moon. There never seemed to be enough light from that single moon anyway. That one, lonely moon. There ought to be two, like on Gaia, Hitomi would tell herself. In all, the room was dark, and that made it unpleasant. However, Hitomi knew that if she asked for something to light the place, she'll be in trouble for not being asleep. Everything I do is wrong. I'm always in trouble. No one... believes me. I should have stayed there!
They had been giving her a drug. She hadn't seen her mother since that afternoon. She wondered when she would see her next. Hitomi had lost all track of time since she'd been here. She was not permitted to have clocks, watches, or calendars. The only thing Hitomi knew anymore was night and day, and she had lost count long ago.
There were bars on her window. She had been moved to a room with a window a long time ago, because she was behaving so well, taking all of her medication. She requested it. The doctor in charge of her, Dr. Nishimoto, was a nice man. He let her grow her hair long. He let her have the window room. But the nurse, Ms. Yano, wasn't nice at all. She is the one who would not permit Hitomi to have any knowledge of time. She said it would depress her and make her dangerous to herself. Dr. Nishimoto was her friend, but Ms. Yano was evil.
The room was dark tonight. Hitomi's mattress was bumpy and uncomfortable, because it was so thin, and underneath it were at least a hundred pills. It wasn't easy to not take them, Ms. Yano made sure Hitomi swallowed. But Hitomi was smart, she held them under her tongue until Ms. Yano left. Hitomi never swallowed one pill. She knew Ms. Yano was poisoning her. She told Dr. Nishimoto, but he said that they were what he prescribed. At first, Hitomi didn't understand why Dr. Nishimoto would prescribe poison, but she soon realized that the nurse was switching the medication. Dr. Nishimoto told Hitomi she had an overactive imagination, and that it was getting dangerous. That is the way he explained it. He would tell Hitomi she has a dangerously overactive imagination, one that could potentially hurt her and her loved ones. But she couldn't take the pills.
It had been years since she left Gaia, since she left Van. She came back to earth only to meet the faces of people who accused her of lying and sent her to this mental institution. Hitomi had lost all track of time, but she knew what day it was. She knew the day, because her mother had come in to visit that afternoon. She brought her a gift. It was Hitomi's seventeenth birthday. So, she guessed, it's been about two years.
Hitomi couldn't sleep. The dark was keeping her awake. As if in answer to her prayer, a holy light poured into the room from the far corner. Two tall, slender, beautiful women sauntered in. They were pale and translucent, they glowed and gave of a soft white light. One had black hair, and one had blonde. Hitomi recognized them both from Gaia. But they were ghosts. One was Vari, Van's mother, and the other was Marlene, Allen's first lover.
"Hitomi..." they said in unison. Their voices were whispery and distant.
"W... What do you want?" Hitomi trembled.
"We are here to help you Hitomi." Said Vari.
"We are representations of your Rhyme and Reason." Marlene added.
"My R...rhyme and reason?" Stammered Hitomi.
"Yes. Your ability to differentiate between reality and imagination." Said Vari.
"Without us, people wouldn't be able to tell what's real or not..." Marlene stated.
"Whether they are living in a fantasy world, or the real world..."
"You are without your rhyme and reason, Hitomi."
"We died twelve years ago... do you remember what happened when you were five, Hitomi?" Vari asked sweetly. "It's okay if you don't."
Hitomi thought about it for a moment. "No..."
"Everyone on your imaginary world with two moons, called Gaia, is a representation of something within your heart and mind, Hitomi. Everyone has these things, whether they are emotions or forms of common sense or wisdom." Said Marlene
"But your mind was overcome completely by the mental infection known as Schizophrenia. You no longer had the rhyme, or the reason, to tell what was reality and what was your imagination." Said Vari.
"Then how do I know whether or not you are real?" questioned Hitomi
"We aren't." Vari simplified. "We are but visions, a projection of the part of your mind fighting against the illness. You have the powers to see visions Hitomi, a rare thing indeed. Your medication would have suppressed the Schizophrenia, but would also have suppressed your visions, and that would take away from who you are."
"So we have come to guide you through this illness, so that all of the things that make you, you, will thrive on, not to be destroyed by some drug." Concluded Marlene.
"How?"
"You created Gaia in your mind. You did not actually venture there." Marlene explained. "Look back on it Hitomi, and realize the many incoherent things you saw and did while you were there."
"But, how do I... wait!" Hitomi watched as they vanished slowly, taking their light and their comfort with them. Hitomi sighed in the darkness. "Look back... but you said you would... guide me."
Chapter One: Darkness
The room was dark tonight. No moon. There never seemed to be enough light from that single moon anyway. That one, lonely moon. There ought to be two, like on Gaia, Hitomi would tell herself. In all, the room was dark, and that made it unpleasant. However, Hitomi knew that if she asked for something to light the place, she'll be in trouble for not being asleep. Everything I do is wrong. I'm always in trouble. No one... believes me. I should have stayed there!
They had been giving her a drug. She hadn't seen her mother since that afternoon. She wondered when she would see her next. Hitomi had lost all track of time since she'd been here. She was not permitted to have clocks, watches, or calendars. The only thing Hitomi knew anymore was night and day, and she had lost count long ago.
There were bars on her window. She had been moved to a room with a window a long time ago, because she was behaving so well, taking all of her medication. She requested it. The doctor in charge of her, Dr. Nishimoto, was a nice man. He let her grow her hair long. He let her have the window room. But the nurse, Ms. Yano, wasn't nice at all. She is the one who would not permit Hitomi to have any knowledge of time. She said it would depress her and make her dangerous to herself. Dr. Nishimoto was her friend, but Ms. Yano was evil.
The room was dark tonight. Hitomi's mattress was bumpy and uncomfortable, because it was so thin, and underneath it were at least a hundred pills. It wasn't easy to not take them, Ms. Yano made sure Hitomi swallowed. But Hitomi was smart, she held them under her tongue until Ms. Yano left. Hitomi never swallowed one pill. She knew Ms. Yano was poisoning her. She told Dr. Nishimoto, but he said that they were what he prescribed. At first, Hitomi didn't understand why Dr. Nishimoto would prescribe poison, but she soon realized that the nurse was switching the medication. Dr. Nishimoto told Hitomi she had an overactive imagination, and that it was getting dangerous. That is the way he explained it. He would tell Hitomi she has a dangerously overactive imagination, one that could potentially hurt her and her loved ones. But she couldn't take the pills.
It had been years since she left Gaia, since she left Van. She came back to earth only to meet the faces of people who accused her of lying and sent her to this mental institution. Hitomi had lost all track of time, but she knew what day it was. She knew the day, because her mother had come in to visit that afternoon. She brought her a gift. It was Hitomi's seventeenth birthday. So, she guessed, it's been about two years.
Hitomi couldn't sleep. The dark was keeping her awake. As if in answer to her prayer, a holy light poured into the room from the far corner. Two tall, slender, beautiful women sauntered in. They were pale and translucent, they glowed and gave of a soft white light. One had black hair, and one had blonde. Hitomi recognized them both from Gaia. But they were ghosts. One was Vari, Van's mother, and the other was Marlene, Allen's first lover.
"Hitomi..." they said in unison. Their voices were whispery and distant.
"W... What do you want?" Hitomi trembled.
"We are here to help you Hitomi." Said Vari.
"We are representations of your Rhyme and Reason." Marlene added.
"My R...rhyme and reason?" Stammered Hitomi.
"Yes. Your ability to differentiate between reality and imagination." Said Vari.
"Without us, people wouldn't be able to tell what's real or not..." Marlene stated.
"Whether they are living in a fantasy world, or the real world..."
"You are without your rhyme and reason, Hitomi."
"We died twelve years ago... do you remember what happened when you were five, Hitomi?" Vari asked sweetly. "It's okay if you don't."
Hitomi thought about it for a moment. "No..."
"Everyone on your imaginary world with two moons, called Gaia, is a representation of something within your heart and mind, Hitomi. Everyone has these things, whether they are emotions or forms of common sense or wisdom." Said Marlene
"But your mind was overcome completely by the mental infection known as Schizophrenia. You no longer had the rhyme, or the reason, to tell what was reality and what was your imagination." Said Vari.
"Then how do I know whether or not you are real?" questioned Hitomi
"We aren't." Vari simplified. "We are but visions, a projection of the part of your mind fighting against the illness. You have the powers to see visions Hitomi, a rare thing indeed. Your medication would have suppressed the Schizophrenia, but would also have suppressed your visions, and that would take away from who you are."
"So we have come to guide you through this illness, so that all of the things that make you, you, will thrive on, not to be destroyed by some drug." Concluded Marlene.
"How?"
"You created Gaia in your mind. You did not actually venture there." Marlene explained. "Look back on it Hitomi, and realize the many incoherent things you saw and did while you were there."
"But, how do I... wait!" Hitomi watched as they vanished slowly, taking their light and their comfort with them. Hitomi sighed in the darkness. "Look back... but you said you would... guide me."