AMNESIA
Kathryn and B'Elanna entered Kathryn's quarters giggling about the singing Valentine that the doctor, in white tie and tails, had just delivered on Harry's behalf in the mess hall during dinner.
Kathryn flopped down on the sofa, still laughing. "I wonder how Harry conned the doctor into doing that? I just hope it works, she didn't look too pleased."
"Oh, Captain, if Tom did that to me you'd be scanning deep space for his carcass right about now!" B'Elanna admired the vase of roses on Kathryn's coffee table, "These sure are pretty, I guess I don't have to ask you who they're from?"
Kathryn smiled as she rearranged the flowers. "No, I guess you don't. They must have cost a week's replicator rations, but they're my favorite and they're just so pretty. Flowers are such a wonderful little luxury out here. Back home I always had lots of fresh flowers…"
"Captain," B'Elanna interrupted as she walked over to Janeway's desk, "the big guy must sure have it bad, if he got you these too?"
"What?" Kathryn asked as she looked up from the flowers on the coffee table. "He gave me these this morning, those weren't here when I left for dinner an hour ago, where did they come from?" Janeway got up to go to the desk and inspect them.
"Here, there's a card, Captain," B'Elanna said as she handed her the red envelope.
"Oh my!" Kathryn exclaimed as she read the card and giggled.
B'Elanna tried to snatch the card from Kathryn, but she held on tight. "What did it say, look at your face, did he propose? C'mon, Kathryn, let me see! Tell me!" B'Elanna finally wrestled the card from Kathryn's grasp and read it. "Oh wow! He made a proposal alright, but not for marriage! Is that even physically possible for Humans to do?"
"Give me that, B'Elanna!" Kathryn snatched the card back and looked at B'Elanna with that caught with her hand in the cookie jar expression, "I never knew Klingons could blush, B'E."
"We don't, but that stuff, well, it would make an Orion slave girl blush! I know Chakotay has it bad for you, but that's too mushy and way too disgusting and X rated for even him." She grinned and giggled, "He probably wants to do all that, but he wouldn't say it like that."
"B'Elanna!" Kathryn chastised as she looked at the card again, "I agree, it's most certainly not his style nor is this his handwriting, looks nothing like it. He gave me a Valentine card with the flowers on the coffee table this morning anyhow."
"Maybe he had someone write it out for him… you know, to throw you off?"
"B'Elanna, do you really think the first officer would ask someone to write stuff like that to the captain for him? You didn't do it, did you?"
"No, Ma'am! I swear, I don't know anything about it and you know my handwriting, that doesn't look anything like it. It's definitely not Tom's either, you couldn't read it if it were. If he were going to have someone write stuff that personal to you, he wouldn't have asked anyone but Tom or me, you know how secretive you two are. It's not signed, Chakotay always signs his name, always, even if it's just a note or a memo. Honestly, if I knew anything about this, I would tell you! Who has access to your quarters besides you?"
Kathryn sat at her desk and began working at her computer. "Chakotay has the code…and Tuvok has access to it of course, but there's no overrides recorded in the security log and no site to site transports to my quarters either, so nobody beamed them in here."
B'Elanna giggled, "Maybe Tuvok did it?"
"Right, B'Elanna, and maybe Ferengi give refunds!" Kathryn smirked as she again consulted the computer. "Nope, Tuvok has been on the bridge since 1600. I stopped in here before I went to the mess hall for dinner and I'm certain they weren't here because I dumped this pile of PADDs on the desk when I came in. There's no way I would have missed these. I just checked the replicator logs, but almost everyone on the ship replicated cards and flowers today, so that's no help. Oh well, I guess it's just a mistake or will remain a mystery. Forget it, B'Elanna, let's go see about getting you something to wear tonight."
B'Elanna thought for a moment, "No way, we need to figure this out! Well, if it wasn't Tuvok or Tom or me, it must have been Chakotay. He wasn't at dinner, where is he?"
"Computer, locate Commander Chakotay." Janeway ordered.
Commander Chakotay is in his office.
"How long has he been there?"
Three point eight four hours.
Kathryn sighed in defeat. "Well, that shoots that theory! I got on him about not having the evaluations finished, so he's probably been working on them. I tell you, B'Elanna, Chakotay wouldn't write stuff like that, it's not his style, and we're not exactly that intimate, you know," she blushed. "Well, we came back here so you could borrow something to wear this evening, so let's go see what the 'Janeway Collection' has to offer. I'm sorry, there's not a lot to chose from and, if I had any replicator rations left, I'd lend them to you."
They went through Kathryn's closet, B'Elanna holding up various dresses in front of the mirror to judge them. Nothing seemed to suit her as she kept laying them aside on the bed.
Kathryn continued rummaging through her closet as she apologized, "I'm sorry, I'm afraid my wardrobe's rather dowdy for what you have in mind this evening. My mother always said I should learn how to dress to kill instead of just for life support. I know, she bought me this ridiculous thing and I'm embarrassed to wear it, so it should be perfect!" Kathryn held up a gorgeous and very sexy slinky little red cocktail dress.
B'Elanna's eyes lit up, "Oh, that's perfect!" She took it, held it up and admired it in front of the mirror. "Oh yes, this is just the look I was after, sexy and slightly slutty; Tom Paris is in trouble now! Remind me to have your mother take me shopping when we get back. Kathryn, if I borrow this, what are you going to wear this evening?"
"Nothing." She caught herself and laughed, "I don't need anything special, I don't have any plans for tonight, I'm just going to try to get my desk cleared off for once."
"You and Chakotay aren't going to the party, you don't have any plans?"
Kathryn began putting the clothes away. "No, not as far as I know, he didn't ask me to go to the party or anything."
"He isn't on duty is he?"
"No, Tuvok and Ayala are this evening."
"Are you two having problems… I mean, if it isn't too personal to ask?"
"No, none that I'm aware of. Did he say anything to you?"
"Nope, but maybe he's pissed if you got down on him about those evaluations… or maybe he has a surprise planned for later? I bet that's it, you know him, he has something planned!" B'Elanna reassured. "Chakotay is so secretive, you know!"
"Well maybe. He wasn't upset about the evaluations, I just reminded him I needed them to do my reports." Kathryn continued as she moved to her desk. "We keep our personal and private lives entirely separate, we have to, for the good of the ship... and us. I wish I could figure out who sent these flowers and card! Who on the ship would dare to send the captain such a thing?" she pondered as she turned the vase.
B'Elanna's face lit up, "Do you have a forensic tricorder? We could scan for residual DNA!"
"I don't have one, but I suppose I could go get one from Tuvok. B'E, aren't you going to be late?"
"Nope, I have plenty of time. What are you going to tell Tuvok you need the tricorder for? You know him, he'll ask."
"Well, he can ask, but fortunately I'm the captain, so I don't have to answer!" Kathryn boasted as she breezed out of her quarters.
B'Elanna read the mystery card again, secretly wishing Tom had sent it to her. "Naw, Chak would never have written this mushy smut, it turns me on, but that's not Janeway's style," she said to herself as she leaned back in Janeway's chair. "I wonder what he did write to her?" B'Elanna remembered seeing a card sitting on Kathryn's night table. "Stop it, B'E, that's private and none of your friggin' business!" she said to herself as she tiptoed in, picked up the card and sat on the bed to read it. "Aw, that's so sweet! That's his style, classy and romantic, Kathryn's so lucky!" She was interrupted as she heard Kathryn return, so she quickly put the card back and ran into the bathroom.
"B'Elanna?" Kathryn called out.
B'Elanna came back in, "Sorry, had to use the john. Got the tricorder? Did Tuvok ask what you needed it for?"
"He asked!" Kathryn smiled. She opened it and began scanning the card on the desk. "I'm not exactly sure how to use one of these, I haven't had any forensic training to speak of. Here we go, DNA. OK, got some, now to run it against Voyager's crew…shoot, it's mine! OK, exclude that and we get…yours! Exclude that and we get…nothing!"
B'Elanna grabbed the tricorder and scanned for herself, "How could it be nothing? Were they wearing an environmental suit or what?"
"I don't know, I can't figure it. My name's not on the card or envelope anywhere, maybe they weren't even meant for me? I'm sure it's just a mistake and someone will be along to collect them later," she grinned. "C'mon, you need to get ready."
"Later. How did they end up on your desk, Captain? It starts out 'Dearest Wanton Woman of Lust', does Chakotay ever call you that?"
"No, of course not," she sighed, "he only ever calls me Kathryn. Well, I believe one of us has a hot date this evening, so you had better go and pour yourself into that dress, young lady, and I really hope you and Tom have a very special night."
"Me too, and thanks for the dress!" B'Elanna hugged Kathryn and left. Kathryn sat at her desk, picked up a PADD and started working. The door chime sounded and she ordered "Come" without looking up from her work.
"Happy Valentine's Day, Kathryn!" said Chakotay as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and presented her with a plate of brownies. "What's this, got a secret admirer?" he asked jokingly as he examined the flowers on her desk.
"Maybe," she replied as she bit off the corner of a brownie. "Mmm, these are good, did you make them?"
"Yes, early this morning, and they're homemade, not replicated. B'Elanna passed me in the corridor and she was carrying the most amazing red dress, you should have seen it!"
"I have. It came from my closet, she borrowed it."
"That was yours?"
"Yes."
"Why haven't I seen you in it, Kathryn?"
"That thing? My mother bought it for me, I'd never wear anything like that, it's so tight you have to get beamed into it!"
"I hope I get to meet your mother, I have a feeling I'll really like her. Kathryn, who are those flowers from?"
"Jealous, Chakotay?" Kathryn asked, with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.
"Well, yes, hell yes!" As he was again inspecting the flowers Chakotay spied the red envelope sticking out from under a stack of PADDs, grabbed it and read the card before Kathryn had a chance to stop him. "Kathryn, who the hell sent you this? This is… this is, well, nauseatingly mushy and, by the end, it's… it's downright indecent! Kathryn who sent this?"
"I don't know, but I liked the part about eternal orgasmic love and licking Jibalian nectar-berry pulp off my sexy, shapely firm round…."
"Kathryn! Maybe you think I wrote this, but I didn't, I swear! Spirits know I love you, but I haven't even exactly seen your firm round… anythings yet. I would like to know who did, though, and the card's only signed 'your secret admirer'. Who would dare to write you such things, do you know who wrote it?"
"Yes," she replied, nonchalantly stuffing another brownie in her mouth.
"Well, aren't you going to tell me?"
"Ump ummm," she mumbled as she shook her head no, her mouth still full.
"Kathryn, are you…are you involved with someone else?"
She sat back in her chair and laughed, "No, I'm not, you know you're the only person on this ship who's qualified to be my Valentine. How could you doubt that?"
"Then who the hell wrote this?"
"Tom Paris."
"What, that SOB, how dare he? I hope you threw his ass in the brig, Kathryn!"
"Chakotay, take a good look at the card again, anything look familiar to you?"
He scrutinized it carefully. "Kathryn, this is your handwriting!"
"Yes, it is. Want a brownie?"
"No, thanks. Kathryn, would you care to explain?"
"Not really."
"Kathryn!" he cried in exasperation.
"Oh, all right! I replicated the card and flowers on Tom's rations and he asked me to write out, by hand, what he put on a PADD. Tom wrote that mushy erotic drivel for a friend who, shall we say, apparently doesn't have his smutty 'literary' talents. When B'Elanna came in she asked about the flowers and grabbed the card away from me, just like someone else I know, so she read it. I had to pretend I didn't know a thing about them and play along because Tom swore me to secrecy and she'd kill him if she knew he wrote it and I'd hate to break up a happy couple on Valentine's Day." Kathryn looked up and grinned. "Apparently it's a lot better than what he wrote her."
"Who are the card and flowers for then?"
"I don't know, he wouldn't tell me. To get back to the story, I didn't expect the flowers and card to be here when B'Elanna came back with me from dinner to borrow the dress, so I had to pretend they were mine and I didn't know who had sent them. I opened the card and pretended to read it as I was going to say they were also from you, but she snatched it away from me and read it too. I had little choice but to pretend I didn't know anything about it and conduct a most elaborate little ruse as I wasn't about blame you for writing smut like that and I didn't want her to suspect Tom. Besides, she knows the flowers on the coffee table are from you; I told her about them this morning. Anyway, I left my quarters unlocked and Tom was supposed to come and get the flowers and card during dinner, but obviously he didn't. It got screwed up even worse because B'Elanna had this brilliant idea to play detective and use a forensic tricorder. Anyhow, I was going to explain it all off tomorrow by saying they were delivered to me by accident and disappeared while I was in the shower or something like that."
"Pretty elaborate scheme, Kathryn, but I can't say I think much of his erotic mush, this is pretty pathetic. Valentine's Day should be about friendship, love and romance, not X rated smut. You wouldn't like it if I wrote something like this to you, would you? Is this what women want to hear?"
Kathryn laughed, "Not this woman, but I did adore what you wrote me in your card, that's exactly what I want to hear. When B'Elanna read this crap she seemed to think it was pretty hot."
"Well, that's B'Elanna's style. I'm glad you liked what I wrote, I meant it. My only regret is that you lent B'Elanna that dress. I know something like that isn't exactly your style, but I also know you would have looked pretty hot in it, Kathryn. Well, what would you like to do this evening? And before you say anything concerning reports, the ship, Starfleet or any sort of work, this is Valentine's Day, so I think we should do something romantic and special. I did bring a bottle of wine to go with the brownies and we could light some of your candles and put on some nice soft romantic music, maybe dance a little. What do you say, Kathryn, a nice romantic evening here or would you like to go to the party for a few minutes first? I know you hate those things, but we probably should at least put in an appearance."
Kathryn pushed her PADDs aside, went to the sofa and flopped down. "OK, agreed, no work tonight, but I don't really feel like going to the party."
He grabbed the plate of brownies, put it on the coffee table and joined her on the sofa. "Kathryn, if you're concerned about 'appearances', we could go and leave separately if you want."
She laughed and snuggled into him. "Chakotay, Owen Paris and I hand picked most of the Starfleet officers on the crew; they're the best and the brightest. If they haven't figured out by now that you and I are dating or a couple or whatever you want to call it, well, heaven help us! I'm most certainly not going to make a ship wide announcement or openly flaunt it and I think we should continue to be as discrete as possible, but I'm pretty sure the crew knows that Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay like each other."
"I'm sure you're right. OK, the party is out, so how about you go and change into the closest thing you have to that little red dress and I'll open the wine and light some candles and we'll see about making this a very very special Valentine's Day? To be honest I'd much rather spend the evening here with you than go to the party anyway." He took her hands and squeezed them. "By the way, the rumors are true, Commander Chakotay does like Captain Janeway!"
Kathryn went into her room to change, so Chakotay lit all the candles he could find, lowered the lights, programmed some soft romantic music, opened the wine, put two glasses on the coffee table and sat to wait for her. She finally sauntered out from her bedroom, nodded her approval of the ambiance, placed a rose from the vase on the coffee table between her teeth and struck a seductive pose. "How's this?" she asked as she removed the rose, dragged it along Chakotay's chin and tossed her hair back.
He smiled before he started laughing and tugged her to sit beside him. "That's the best you could do? I would have at least expected a dress, Kathryn!"
"Well, I'm sorry, I went for color and this was the only red thing I had. If it helps, I'm not wearing a bra under it," she giggled, "and I did take my hair down for you."
He slipped his arm around her shoulder, played with her hair and gave her his best sad little boy frown. "Kathryn, it's a Starfleet sweatshirt that's about six sizes too big, who would even notice you're not wearing a bra? Baggy as it is, who would even notice you have breasts? If it's any consolation, those are really cute gray sweatpants and the fuzzy slippers are a nice touch."
"I'm sorry, I'm out of replicator rations and you know I only have a couple dresses, you've seen them all at least a dozen times and there's nothing sexy about any of them. I just decided to wear this sweatshirt because it's the only red thing I have and it is very very comfortable. You know me, I'm baggy and plain. Chakotay, if you want sexy, you should go to the party; I'm sure there's plenty of women in sexy little red dresses there."
He gathered Kathryn into his arms and gave her a little kiss. "Kathryn, it's me that should apologize. You look fine; I'm glad you're comfortable and what really matters to me is that I get to spend this evening with you. It's not the clothes that are sexy anyhow, it's the woman in them, and I happen to think you're the most beautiful and sexy woman I have ever laid eyes on. Now, how about a glass of wine and we can cuddle up and get comfortable and enjoy our evening?"
She returned his kiss, twice. "I'd say that sounds just wonderful, I can't think of any place I'd rather be than in your arms."
Chakotay held her more tightly as he returned her kisses. "Happy Valentine's Day, Kathryn. Ooh, you really aren't wearing a bra, are you?"
She came up for air and giggled. "I told you so! They may not be much, but happy Valentine's Day, Chakotay!"
About twenty minutes later the door chime sounded several times before it was finally noticed. Chakotay looked up, "Damn! Expecting anyone, Kathryn?"
"In my quarters… on Valentine's Day… at this hour? No, of course not! Who the hell could it be?" She looked around the room and started tidying up as fast as she could. "Computer, end music, full illumination! Chakotay, maybe you should, you know, go in my room until I see who it is and get rid of them?" He nodded, replaced the pillows on the couch, and quickly left the room.
Kathryn smoothed her hair back, went to the door and opened it manually. Before she could say anything, she had an uninvited guest in the middle of her living room. She did her best to apologize. "I'm sorry it took me so long to answer the door, I was reading and I must have fallen asleep. Is there something I can help you with, Mr. Neelix?"
He smiled as he looked around the room, his eyes twinkling as he spoke. "Oh, so sorry to disturb you, Captain Janeway, but I believe you have something here that Mr. Paris sent me to pick up?" He reached for the vase of flowers on her coffee table.
"No, not those, Mr. Neelix! I believe you're supposed to pick up the flowers and card over here on my desk?" She handed them to him and bit her lip to hide her grin. "So, these are for a special friend of yours?"
Neelix's nose twitched as he smelled the flowers. "No, Captain. Tom just sent me here to pick them up, that's all. They're not mine, I assure you. I'm just the delivery service, for a small gratuity, of course."
"Of course! So, Neelix, where did Mr. Paris tell you to take the flowers?"
Neelix started for the door as quickly as he could. "To Crewman Chell, Captain."
"Chell?" Kathryn stepped in front of Neelix to block his path. Her curiosity was really piqued now and she was determined to get to the bottom of it. "And, do you know who the flowers are for, Neelix, who Chell is giving them too?"
Neelix did his best to sidestep her. "Oh my, it's getting so late! Well, Captain, I had better get going, I have to get back to the party before the hors d'oeuvres run out."
Janeway planted her feet firmly and crossed her arms over her chest. "Neelix, you didn't answer my question; do you know who the flowers are for?"
"Well, I might have… at one time, I mean, but I think I forgot, Captain. You know me, so scatterbrained, so many deliveries today, I get confused and my memory isn't so good. I just can't remember, Captain, can't remember a thing!"
She wasn't buying it. "I see, and just when did you lose your memory, Mr. Neelix?"
He thought for a moment and smiled. "Well, I think I lost my memory right about the time I noticed that it took you more than three minutes to answer your door, there's two wine glasses on the coffee table, you hair's a mess, Commander Chakotay's shoes are under your couch and you have your sweatshirt on backwards, Captain Janeway. Of course, I could probably get my memory back if you insisted, Captain."
"What?" Kathryn looked down and turned redder than her sweatshirt as she noticed he was right. "No sense in doing that, Mr. Neelix," she replied as she stepped out of his way, allowing him clear passage to the door. "A little amnesia can be a good thing, don't you think?"
"Absolutely, Captain, especially on Valentine's Day! Amnesia is contagious, isn't it? I didn't see you and you didn't see me… isn't that right?"
"Oh yes, I'm quite certain of that. Well, good evening, Mr. Neelix, and happy Valentine's Day."
Neelix removed a flower from the vase and handed it to her. "You too, Captain Janeway, have a happy Valentine's Day and, if you should happen to see Commander Chakotay, please wish him the same."
THE END
02/08/08