He was always watching from a distance. Courage and gumption were the two things he lacked the most. As he watched the object of his affection from afar, he would dream of being held by those coarse, manly hands. The thought of those long, dark fingers patting his belly and stroking his head made him sigh with pure, utter bliss.
But alas, a love like his was forbidden. The reality of the cruel, harsh world broke his heart into so many pieces. They could never be lined back up again...
...Or maybe they could.
A sudden idea came to him! Maybe if his love noticed his frail heart, it would entice him to come over and strike a conversation!
After hearing a pained yelp, Darkside walked over to where he spotted a lone Meow Wow poking itself in the chest repeatedly with a toothpick. Confused, but also hungry, the Darkside wrapped its large, lanky fingers around the Meow Wow and lifted it to its mouth. The Meow Wow was probably unsure of how to emote because Darkside could've sworn it was sighing with pure ecstasy before being devoured.
Darkside burped and then picked his teeth clean with a toothpick (really a Pooh stick) and then discarded it into the trash disposal chute leading to the Realm of Light where it was collected by Roo. Roo promptly returned the Pooh stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh.
The end.