Part One: Burdens
September 23, 2012
It was a sunny Sunday afternoon in downtown Durham, North Carolina. The sky was blue as can be with only a few clouds scattered across. For late September, the cool was slowly starting to usher in fall. Even with the gentle breeze, it was just barely noticeable, it was truly a beautiful day.
Unseen by the human eye, three angels were enjoying some time together outside the library. Sitting on benches, they were reading the day's newspapers and observing humans as they were waiting to be let in as the library opened. They were, on the other hand, waiting for their next assignment to arrive.
Andrew, as usual, went straight for the obituaries, finding any one he may have taken Home, ironically enough in the "Life" section. Monica was drawn to the culture section and today a storyteller from Japan was going to speak at library about native legends. Though at times it was hard for them to hold the papers with the breeze.
Gloria ususally always went for the science articles. For her, reading about how humans interpret the world around them had fascinated her. She of course know God made everything, but also knew He wanted humans to explore it for themselves and one of those avenues was science.
Then Monica casually looks up, as if she was expecting to find someone. Getting Andrew and Gloria out of the papers, she points out a brown haired, slightly chubby, teen girl with glasses climbing out of a car. Waving at the driver, she walks briskly towards the doors, a backpack slung over her shoulder.
"Our next assignment?" Gloria inquires. "Yes she is. And she's at a major crossroads in her young life. One decision can change everything, for the better or worse." Monica answers, folding her newspaper and the others do the same and follow the teenager inside.
Crystal stood at the counter, returning the previous week's books she had checked out and finished. Then straight up the stairs she goes to the third floor. It was always a place of refuge for her for the last few years. Like her mom, she always fancied a good book. Though she preferred digital novels, they didn't have the feel or smell of course like a good old fashioned printed one.
Quiet, peaceful and she could get away from all the stresses and cares of school and home. Also, she came here every Sunday to kill time before going to Youth Group at a church a short walk from there. At least during the school year.
"Her name's Crystal Grayson. She's seventeen, and has holding something terrible deep inside that needs to come out before it's too late. Gloria, you may like her." Monica explains, "Her IQ is genius level, talented, but it's all useless to her. We are here to help her realize how precious she is to the Father."
Andrew was looking at the girl. He started to get the feeling he had seen her before. Something was familiar about her. Maybe he took Home one of her relatives that bore a resemblance...
It had just turned 4:30 and Crystal started to wrap it up. She had to get to the church and finish up the final details for her program. In the six years she had been in middle and high school youth group up until now, she had never done one. This was when one of the kids would take over the discussion using whatever materials were available.
Plus, like the library, it was a place of comfort and safety for her. It felt like wearing an old shirt that made her feel comfortable being there. Checking out a handful of books, she walked just down the street while humming a little tune to calm her nerves. The breeze gently caresses her face, it felt good. She just wished it could come inside her and soothe her soul, easing up the ache in her heart.
"Miss Golds, I presume?" Andrew, dressed in a casual shirt and jeans, was facing a husky woman with dark, shoulder length hair. "I was sent to help with this group until a new youth pastor can be found." They were in a small office in the church.
Cassie Golds sat looking at the resume he had given her. "Pleased to meet you, Andrew. Now, let's get down to business. Now, this is a roster of our regular kids who come here." She gives him a sheet of paper. He took the list and sure enough, Crystal's name was there.
Cassie went through it, describing each one in some detail. But when it came to Crystal, she pauses. "It's really interesting how we met. But if she trusts you enough, I'll let her tell it. She does it better than I can." She pauses, as though she had heard something, "And that would be her now."
Andrew hears somebody singing just outside the door. Something about lighting a candle in the rain. She's got a pretty good voice, some training and she could be famous, he thinks hearing it. The girl who Monica pointed out to him earlier enters, almost without a sound. She sees the two at Cassie's desk.
In a quiet voice she says, "I'm sorry, didn't know you were busy with someone else, just let me get the flash paper so I can finish up for tonight." She excuses herself and picks up a small stack from the desk. Cassie stops her before she leaves the room.
"Crystal, this is Andrew. He's filling in for Rachel until a replacement can be found." Crystal looks at him, taking in details of his face. Then she blushes like a schoolgirl and shakes his hand before leaving. Again, Andrew had that feeling they met before...could this be part of why he's here? He regains focus and gets back to the orientation.
Crystal sits cross legged in a corner of the small sanctuary, cutting the flash paper into pieces. Her mind drifted back to the night before. Mom and her stepfather were at it again. As usual, it was all about everything she did that he deemed 'unnatural'.
From the way she talked to her style of music to even which hand she wrote with (she was left handed, the only one in the family). He was always griping about one thing or another when it came to her. She had even overheard him demanding her mom put have her put away in an institution. "For her own good" was always his excuse, telling everyone that people like her needed to be treated like lunatics and separated from society.
Her stepfather also had a hated for Cassie, Crystal knew it. Most likely because of the close relationship they had. He always tried to drive away what few friends she did have. That was the reason she never let anyone in her home. Tears started to form, but she wiped them with the back of her hand. She had been moody lately and chalked it up to the doctor recently having her bipolar medication adjusted.
But she knew the real reason why. Earlier in the year, he wanted her to do something to him and she responded by slapping him in the face. Hard enough to leave a mark. He just smirked like it was nothing. It was like he was expecting it.
Then she threatens to tell if he ever did it again. Since then, things had been tense between them. Very few words were exchanged between the two. She also thought of her baby sister, she couldn't leave home after graduation and the thought of her alone with him.
Things were getting desperate and she had chosen this topic of secrets and how confessing them can bring healing by letting God help. But yet, she was the one who needed it the most. Everyone in the group would each write their own deepest, darkest secret on the flash paper given to them, but not to share with anyone else. Then they're all placed in a tin pan, where they are lit with a match, making it disappear.
To Crystal, at least this way someone would know, she thinks holding back the emotions best she could. That was becoming harder to do these days. Why would God allow things like this to happen? Where was justice? That was what was the main thing going through her mind more these days.
She had finished and after cleaning up, helped Cassie and Andrew with preparing for the dinner. Tonight, it was pizza. About fifteen kids show up, mostly regulars and a few who drop in every couple of weeks. Everything was going well so far but Crystal was on pins and needles when it came for her to take the reins. This was more stressful than being on stage doing a solo for a dance concert at school.
Turned out it wasn't so bad after all. Out on the grass in the little reflection garden out front where the wheelchair ramp was, everyone wrote on their slips and placed them in the pan. Her hand shook as she wrote on a slip of paper, keeping it covered with her right hand.
She could at least write it down in front of others and no one knew the better. Crystal took the lighter and put it to the pan. In a flash it was gone, to her it felt like a burden lifted a little. But in reality, the guilt of not being able to say it aloud ate at her. Bit by bit, it was eroding her very soul.
Gloria, unseen, watches all this. Especially Crystal's facial expressions. It was painfully clear something was gnawing at her just below the surface. She couldn't see what was written, but it had to have been something really bad for the girl to use everything she had to keep it together.
Monday arrives and it was the start of the rat race all over again for the girl. Arriving early as always, she goes straight to her Special Needs counselor, one of the few adults she knew she could trust. Knocking on the door she expects Mrs. Lyndsay to motion her in as usual because the light was on.
Instead she gets a surprise. Instead of the older Jewish woman with the blue glasses, she finds a red haired, slender, younger woman. Dressed in a light gray jacket, black shirt and jeans. "Excuse me, where is Mrs. Lyndsay? I thought she was here." Crystal asks.
"Hello, my name's Monica." She extends her hand to Crystal and motions her to sit down. Her Irish accent made Crystal feel at ease, in fact, she loved accents. "And I will be filling in for her. She was in a car accident and needed emergency surgery over the weekend and will be out at least a month or two for recovery." She had that calm, soothing voice. "And you must be Crystal Grayson."
What drew Crystal's attention was the hair, that shade of red enthralled her. After a few minutes of greetings, she had to leave for her English class. Today they had started to discuss "Frankenstein". She made everyone laugh when asked what came to mind about the book, she said "recycling". It was an answer nobody expected.
Even dance class was more fun than usual. Ideas for the Winter Concert in December were being pitched. The day was in her opinion, was a really good one considering her current emotional state. But at the end of it, she had to go back to the nightmare she called home.
That night Cassie calls Andrew. "I need to ask you a favor, I'm not feeling well. Could you take Crystal to her therapy appointment tomorrow?" Cassie coughs loudly, hacking up a big glob of mucus into a tissue. "Her mother works and I help however I could." Andrew says he can and asks when it is and where to go.
"Thank you so much. I'll text her and let her know. She'll show you where to go and all. Need her school address?" Again, she has a coughing fit. "I'm going to see the doctor in the morning." She hated when this happened. Always so busy helping others she forgets about taking care of herself.
Crystal was having a harder time sleeping. Like clockwork, the same old nightmares came right on time. She's being chased through the woods by a big, hideous creature. No matter how well she hides, she's always found by it because of a misstep or fall. Just like in a really cheap horror movie.
Eventually, it ends up cornering her and wraps its long spindly hands around her throat. It then transforms into a human she knows all too well. Then the hand tightens and pain comes just before it goes black. That knocks her back into reality.
Waking up, she checks her phone, the time says, "3:30 am". Turning over, she shed silent tears to get back to sleep. She was already long used to them, so it really didn't suprise her, but the fear was still very real. Another day to keep her secrets, agonizing over what to do. That one part of her past she would rather forget. Rolling over, she hoped for at least two and a half more hours of sleep.
To say anything would be too much for her to handle. As her mom puts it, Crystal was always "delicate" emotionally. A polite way of saying she was crazy, mentally incapable of handling things on her own. If only she knew what was really going on in my head, maybe then she would wise up and finally leave that manipulating sack of crap.
Gloria looks on, as Monica told her to do, watching each tear slide down, gently wiping them away. What could be so painful it causes this kind of agony? She was quite literally still the new angel on the block, but even she knew something was tormening this girl.
The next day, school had just let out. Crystal and her long time best friend Emily were outside the school cutting up. The two friends lived not far from there, they were only two houses apart.
Tuesdays were typically Crystal's therapy day, then her and Cassie usually would go out for some time together. But today was different. All she knew was that Cassie was sick and someone else was coming for her.
Today was also her first in depth session with Monica. Not bad, went over her background and the usual "If you need to talk, I will be here" line. "The file shows that you've had a difficult life." Monica says, scanning the thick folder. "Foster care, a time in a psychiatric unit...my, you have been through a lot." She closes it and looks straight into Crystal's eyes. "Now I want to know more about you."
Despite her aloof exterior, deep down Crystal desperately wanted to take up the offer, to let it all out. But those voices that have taunted her as far back as she can remember started up. "You're no good, nobody cares for you, who would give one thought about what you have to say..." and so on. They bound up those thoughts of wanting to speak up. Every good thing she said and did was...tainted by those voices.
Her ability to trust was severely dampened by the memories, and living under the same roof as the person who hurt her. Now she's got a sister that could have the same thing happen to her too if it hadn't already. That was her main concern at the moment. She would do anything to protect her only sibling.
A horn honking snapped her back to reality. There was Andrew, in a red Cadillac, calling her name and waving. Emily was impressed by the ride, amazed at all the detail. After introductions, she heads off towards her house and it was just her and Andrew. On the way to the session, they talked some. About herself and things in general.
They come upon a two story brick building near one of the hospitals next to a parking garage. After finding a spot in there, they walk over and go inside where the receptionist confirms her appointment. After a few minutes of quiet waiting, her name was called. A short woman, dark hair and glasses, comes out and greets them.
"My name's Gloria and I'm a student helping out Dr. Steele with some cases. You don't have a problem with me sitting in observing do you?" It was obviously clear to Andrew that she was a little too enthusiastic about her role for this assignment.
Crystal could see Andrew and Gloria had knew each other just by the looks between them that she was sure of. She always had that sense, knowing things like that intuitively. Andrew stays in the waiting area while she goes in for her session.
Dr. Andrea Steele's office was medium sized. Shelves and a big oak desk covered one end and a red couch lined one wall. Toys and art supplies were for the younger patients. "Now, I would like for you to try and think back to what brings these attacks on." The psychiatrist calmly tells Crystal as she lays on the big green couch, eyes closed, her breathing steady. It starts out well, but soon it goes downhill at after a certain point.
In her mind Crystal was able to go deep, but when the words start to form and are on the tip of her tongue, the feeling of a hand grabs her throat. Or at least it feels like it to her and then the voices whisper, "We can't stop this thing we got going." They tell whisper disgusting things about her and then the physical pain begins.
Andrew, unseen, watches as she curls up, her mouth frantically wants to scream aloud, but nothing emerges. She begins to choke despite nothing at her throat. Crystal begins to flail on the couch, hands around her neck and when Dr. Steele reaches to touch her, she flinches. One blow from an arm almost hits the doctor square in the shoulder.
For the two angels, it was very hard for them to even watch. With a snap of the fingers, Dr. Steele brought Crystal out of her state. It had been within the last year this had started and has been chalked up as a case of an anxiety disorder. The first being at school out of the blue, almost sending her to the hospital when she fell down, going into a seizure and passing out.
"I had one didn't I? A spell (that's what she called them)?" Crystal asks after regaining her breath. Then promptly she runs out to the bathroom across the hall with waves of nausea. The idea of going through this made her sick, all the thoughts raced through her mind.
It took a few minutes for it to pass, but almost always she didn't actually throw up. Just dry heaves and a lot of drooling as always. This time was no exception. Cleaning herself up, Crystal looks in the mirror and has a mental dialogue with herself.
Why not just say it like in that fan letter I had sent during the summer? He always got fan mail like this and maybe if I'm lucky, I might get a response. She thinks, going back, the first time she told anyone what really happened.
Ten pages of pouring her heart out. At least, if something happened to me, someone out there would know. Ironically enough, he was coming to the State Fair next month. And the youth group was going, including her. The mere thought made Crystal smile a little, a tiny spot of sunshine in her otherwise dreary life.
After the session, Andrew decides to take Crystal out to eat. Her and Cassie did this just about every week. It would be something like shopping or dinner, a girl's afternoon out. Only it was just her and Andrew this time.
They went to a small Chinese place at the mall and for some reason, Crystal could be open with him. "Well, Cassie says you two met in a very unique way. Do you mind telling me, if that's all right?"
Glancing into those green eyes, she began a very brief outline of her life. Living with autism, the days in foster care, including her stint in the psych ward at eleven, where she met Cassie. Every detail of that first meeting was seared in her memory, down to her clothes. A slight smile came to her face just thinking about it. "Her and my former foster mom were casual friends before I came into the picture."
"She's that important to you isn't she?" Andrew calmly whispers and places his hand over hers. He felt trembling in her just by touching it. She looks up and behind those storm cloud grey eyes, and for the first time, he saw there was a great pain he saw inside them. Clawing just below the surface, eating away at her. Crystal quickly looks away, almost like she had something she didn't want him to see.
Regaining her composure, Crystal picks up her fork and resumes eating. "Yes, she is. Like the big sister I never had. I guess that's the best kind of friend one could ever have." Andrew was surprised at how casual she spoke of her life, difficult as it was, almost like it was normal. He had talked to Monica earlier and she said the same thing.
Andrew drove Crystal back home. Her mom and sister were finishing up dinner and her excuse of a stepfather was reading the paper and as usual, a beer in hand. There were already two empty cans beside the recliner. He looks up at Andrew, gave a nasty look, then goes back to reading the paper. It was the same one he always gave to anyone she had brought home. It was like he didn't want her to have any friends at all.
Going up to her room, Crystal finished her homework and logged into a chat room she often frequents. The others there knew her as "X-77". Over the last two months she had been talking to "Andy37". Nothing inappropriate, just two online friends. Beside her was the letter, still unopened in a big envelope. A response to the one she sent to this one singer she loved and chose to reveal her secret to. For about an hour they chatted and then logged off.
Nervously, she picked up the big, thick envelope and opened it with a red pocket knife from her desk. Removing the contents, she began to read. There was also a signed picture included. That made her very excited. It was almost 9:45 before finishing it and going to sleep. But not before placing it in her small safe under the bed. What she read gave her a lot to think about.
That night, Crystal wakes up from a nightmare once again. The pain she felt in her arm stung and pain in her groin was almost too much. Why was it with these nightmares real pain comes? It had been the last few months this has happened and chalked it up to thrashing about while sleeping. The time was one thirty in the morning according to the clock on her phone.
Could the night terrors she had as a kid be coming back, that she never grew out of fully as originally thought? But that couldn't explain the aches in her private parts. Lately, she had been finding bruises and redness down there waking up.
Stumbling into the bathroom, she turns on the light and finds her neck red where it looked like hands were wrapped around them. The sight made her gasp, only one person could pull this off with the finger marks that thick. Her right arm had a mark from someone grabbing her. The anger inside flared up and she resolved herself to end this, one way or another.
Monica was standing beside her, invisible. The storm cloud grey eyes matched a tempest of emotions that brewed inside Crystal. The three angels had taken turns watching over her from the start. It frustrated the Irish angel that Crystal hadn't been able to speak out. A shudder went through her at what possibly could happen if she doesn't let it out soon.
Crystal again looks in the mirror. But this time it seemed to Monica that she was looking her way. Her eyes were glancing up over in the angel's direction in the reflection. She shakes her head and leaves. The burden she held deep down inside was physically taking a toll on her. So much to where she literally could feel it weighing down on her shoulders.
Stopping at the doorway of her little sister's room, she sees Haley in bed. Her half sister, only ten years old, laying there, sleeping like a little angel. Her hands curled against her cheek, a light sound of breathing coming from her way. Across the hall, she heard the snores of her stepfather from his and Mom's room.
Worry filled her. Would she be next, who would be there to protect my sister if I was to go off to college? Lately that's what her dreams were filled with, Haley being hurt like she was. The feelings began to swell up inside and Crystal returns to her room. Whispering a prayer, she practically forces herself to go back to sleep.
At school things were starting to get worse. Despite Monica's gentle urging to open up, Crystal was slipping, becoming more withdrawn and aggressive. At school, a boy called her a name and she went ballistic, going off on him with a verbal tirade of her own.
Flashbacks were coming frequently and often, even in class. Excuses to explain her actions were harder to come across. Her teachers and the few friends she did have began to really worry, especially Cassie. That for sure she knew and that was making her panic, becoming more distant from others.
She kept it together still. Andrew marveled at how some humans were able to even function under these conditions. Crystal was slowly trusting him, but at times it seemed she had something to say, but pulls back. Her eyes said it all, a shadow crosses over them when she talks about what she calls "the dark times". That was what she called the period of time before she went into foster care.
But for a brief moment, her fragile facade fell apart the week before the Fair trip. In a near shouting match with her stepfather, Crystal brandished a knife. "You know what you did to me and if you touch my sister, I will kill you!" She raises it, poised to bring it down in a heartbeat.
Crystal had been cutting some chicken into pieces so her mom could cook it for dinner when she got home. He started to move in on her with his obscene remarks. He had come up behind her, trying to cop a feel. Big mistake on his part. So she decided to make a point, not with just words, but this time, with action.
Andrew, unseen, whispers in her ear, "Whatever is causing this rage, this is NOT the answer. Think about it, once it's done, there's no going back." With one word from the Father, he grabs her arm just as it's coming down, stopping an inch from his head. Try as she could, Crystal just couldn't budge it, that made her even more frustrated.
The stepfather, blank faced, smirks and chuckles. "You never could finish what you started. Coward." His voice straight-faced and cold. "Always making a threat to tell the world lies against me. Well, how about an exchange? Keep your mouth shut or everyone knows about what goes on between you and my only daughter." His eyes said that he was serious, even if it meant he lies to keep his control over her.
Then the front door opens and Haley enters the house, coming in just before the upcoming storm. She had been at a friend's house next door. Crystal hides the knife behind her back and puts on a plastic smile. Their mom was on her way home from work as the owner at a local restaurant she owned, and it had been a long day for her.
He rises up from his chair and whispers, "Keep quiet or I just might make her an object lesson." He shoots a glance at Haley, who was hanging her coat up in the living room. "And it will be all your fault." He gives her a wink with a self satisfied smirk on his face.
That was enough for him to break Crystal. He always had a way to keep her submissive, under his control. Use those she cared for as leverage to get her to bend to his will, a great way to manipulate someone.
Andrew hated these type of situations. In his time as an Angel of Death, he had seen way more than his fair share of self-destruction cases. And he knew this was one of them. Inside, he was wanting to rip this animal into pieces for what he was doing. Instead he punches the wall beside him. Of course being in his angelic form, it wasn't damaged, but he did wince from the pain of hitting it.
By now the agony of realizing her sister was now at risk was almost too much. People were getting suspicious about her behavior and she knew it. She had heard some kids even say she was on drugs. Monica was asking way too many questions and it made Crystal panic inside, then the body betrays her.
Her hands start trembling, once again, something she attributes to the lithium she takes for her manic depression. The doctor who prescribed it to her said that it was a possible side effect, so it was a good cover. Now, even during her waking hours the emotions were coming up much more often. Then her heart starts to beat more rapidly.
Everyone was having a good time at the weekly supper. This week it was pizza and chips with cookies for dessert. She was finishing up a lively chat about the upcoming trip to the Fair and particularly the concert. Michael Reigns was coming and this was a dream come true. Crystal played his music day and night, had all his albums and pictures plastered on her wall. Now she was finally going to see him live.
"Who can resist those blue eyes? I could drown in them." Anna, one of the other girls says with a dreamy look in her eyes. "It would be awesome to meet him..." Crystal laughed, though she shared the same thoughts. Excusing herself, she went up to the first first floor ladies room to wash up.
She carr ied that letter with her constantly, reading it every chance she could for a boost of encouragement. One of the volunteers who worked with the fan mail gave her advice on how to deal with this. Also about how God sees her agony and weeps. Things like righteous anger. Also included was Rebecca's (that was her name, the woman who had responded to it) story and referrals to websites and hotlines for her to call.
Crystal always preferred to be alone, part of it was because of her biological father being like that by what her mother had always told her. Lately she had been asking more questions about him, but Mom was very hesitant when it came to that topic. It was also her way to keep from hurting others, only herself.
Splashing water on her face, she looks in the mirror. The agony was showing, making her seventeen year old countenance seem older. Even looking into her own eyes in a mirror was always difficult, almost impossible at times. Drying herself off, she leaves the bathroom. But instead of going back downstairs to where the group was meeting, it was straight to the main sanctuary.
This was right above the smaller one downstairs. This was where all the main services were held. It was of course empty, giving her quiet time to kneel at the rail before the altar and pray. It was peaceful when it was like this, but a little scary with the limited lighting. But then, if someone came in, she could just slip into the shadows.
Secrets and shadows were two of her closest companions and confidants as far back as she could remember. In exchange for her acceptance, they gave her a cloak of protection that offered her a sense of sanity. On many an occasion, those were the two things that kept her from losing her mind completely.
The silence helped keep her focus and maybe even if she's lucky, even hear something from God. "Where are you God? It's getting worse down here for me. What will it take for you to hear me? You've got my attention right now." Crystal whispers into the air. And as usual, she heard nothing.
Andrew had to get some hymnals from upstairs and was coming back down when he heard what he thought was someone talking. There shouldn't be anyone in there. Better check to be sure. He had come in there the week prior thinking someone was there but found nothing.
But this time it would be different. He opens the door quietly, and sees someone at the prayer rail up front, it was Crystal. Approaching it, he sees her kneeling in the dim light, her lips moving silently. Reaching out, he touches her shoulder.
"You shouldn't really be here." he says. She panics, turning around and staring at him. Andrew saw the horror in her eyes. Like she was seeing someone else other than him. Crystal had a glare that could kill a man and she was poised to fight if need be. He tries to calm her down, "It's me Andrew." It was clear she wasn't herself at the moment. "I'm not going to hurt you, now relax. What are you doing up here instead of with the group?"
After a moment, she softened, realizing it was Andrew. "Didn't think anyone else was in here." She sits down on a pew, calming herself with deep cleansing breaths. Following her lead, he does the same. "Always hated being surprised like that." She apologizes profusely for her reaction.
"I often come up here to have some quiet time. Try and get an answer or two. Done this more times than I can count and never been caught until now." Crystal explains to him. "One of the few places I feel close to God. I could just talk to Him right here better than anywhere else."
Then she says something unexpected. "Did I ever tell you about all my brushes with death as a kid?" She begins, telling of how at two she almost died and while recovering after a serious illness tried to walk out of the hospital ward. Then about how she fell off a twenty foot cliff at age five with only bruises and two fractured wrist bones.
Andrew's memory started going off, these incidents rang a bell. They take the hymnals and go back downstairs. Those questions would have to wait until later. But what drove her to say what she did? All these thoughts ran through his mind, but he sensed time was short for her, he could feel it.
Crystal had her overnight bag packed. It was the night before the trip. After the fair, they were coming back to the church for a mini lock in after the concert. The plan involves leaving after dance class and skip typing, but this time of year, lots of kids did it. Monica would hold her bag in the office during the day. It was going to be so much fun!
She had just talked to Andy37 online and got a little deep. She brought up a scenario where a friend told her something and didn't know what to do. They had gotten a little close, comfortable even and needed an objective opinion.
"Did you ever have a secret so unbearable it had to be let out, but the pain of it doing so would make you feel like you have to choose between your sanity or your life? Knowing there was the possiblilty you could lose both?" It was an intense question, but she knew it had to asked.
The screen was blank for a minute. Then the words popped up. "What is it X? What is it you want to get off your chest?" Crystal was stunned, left totally speechless. He was so blunt and straight to the point. Also, how did could he even know? "Andy, I cannot lie to you," she types, "I'm the one with the problem and I don't want to discuss it further. Good night."
Then words appear on the screen again. "What's the problem? What's your struggle? Depression, something else?" Crystal typed up an answer. "Why does it feel like I'm being interrogated like a common criminal? Good night." Then she logs off. She had to give him credit, he certainly was direct.
It had finally come! Cassie would pick her up after fifth period class and from there, meet everyone else at the church. By 3:30, they would be on the Fairgrounds in Raleigh. Everything went as planned. The day was good, no homework, and almost everyone was at the church when it was time to go.
Going to the State Fair was always a joy for Crystal. The sights and smells stirred up emotions of a better time, more innocent. Plus, the rides and food made it all better, driving the bad feelings away, at least for a while. As a senior, she was able to roam free to enjoy the festivities. At least until 6:45 when the group would meet by the arena and go in for the show.
Monica, Andrew, and Gloria watched the group split. "What can we do?" Gloria asks. In the short time she got to know Crystal, she discovered they were a lot alike: both of them were highly intelligent, and for a young human, Crystal had wisdom beyond her years.
After a few moments, Andrew spoke. "There may be a way, and this person is the key." Then he pulls out his ticket for the concert. "Brilliant! But will it work?" Gloria questions. "It may be our best chance. to reach her." Monica tells him, "Sometimes a little motivation can help immensely..." Andrew agrees and disappears.
After buying a few pounds of saltwater taffy and souvenirs for Mom and Haley, she waited in line to buy a hot dog and a drink. Then sat down at a table near the arena to dig in. For some reason, fair food always tasted better. Like that one thing families made once a year, at times like Thanksgiving and Christmas.
In a dressing room deep within the arena, Michael Reigns was finishing up prepping for the show. His concert outfits were hanging on a rack beside him, washed and pressed. He was wanting to wrap this up and get back home to his wife and kids, a framed picture of them on the dressing table. Thankfully, he had one more week of shows then it was home.
But this time, he was able to set aside some time to slip away in a cap and sunglasses. To see the world as everyone else, to disappear into the crowd. At least for a little while.
Suddenly, a glow fills the room. In the center was a man, tall and blonde haired and Michael sensed this was a messenger sent by God. He sang about Him as a career and passion, his calling, but lately he had been questioning what impact he had made on the world. A crisis, so to speak, and after much prayer and reflection, had waited patiently for an answer.
"You have been questioning your purpose Michael. Wondering if you've made a difference in the world. I am an angel sent by God to show the impact you've made on one fan. She entrusted you with something so dark, so tragic, she didn't know what else to do. But she reached out to you." He then hands Michael a small stack of papers. It was Crystal's letter and Andrew had not read it, so he didn't know what it said.
Michael remembers visiting the office where the fan mail came to and sifting through some of the letters and this was one of them. He remembers the scrawl, and how desperate she sounded. It tore him reading this, and it just became too much, so he passed it to a female volunteer. Though he did enclose a signed photo.
"What can I do to help?" Michael asked the angel, a look of curiosity on his face. "Just come with me. No need for the disguise. It won't take long..." Suddenly they were just feet from where Crystal sat. "Now go ahead and encourage her," Andrew tells him, "and don't worry, people won't recognize you."
Nervously he approached Crystal, who was busy scribbling in a notebook. She was writing notes about her experience at the fair for an assignment in her Creative Writing class. Every detail she was putting down while it was fresh in her memory. The pen running across the page in her trademark southpaw handwriting.
Sitting down with his bottle of juice in hand that he was drinking from before Andrew appeared, he politely asks if he could sit down in front of her. She says yes without looking up from her writing. Nobody else was at the table, just the two of them.
A brief chat about the fair and the show was an icebreaker. Crystal tried to look into those blue eyes, but couldn't hold it. "I'm just going through a lot right now with school and home." Of course, she didn't go into detail. This was the opening Andrew needed and whispers something to Michael.
Michael thought hard, then says, "My advice is trust God. You don't know what His plan is for you, but whatever you're going through, He can help, just ask Him, that's all." Placing his hand over hers, he flashes that trademark smile and excuses himself. Pausing only briefly, he whispers four words in her ear that ignites a spark in Crystal. "Be strong and courageous." Then he walks away with Andrew.
Crystal was left speechless. She recognized that voice but, it couldn't be. But in her heart of hearts, she knew it was him. Anyhow it was enough to her to make a final decision. And she knew exactly who to share it with. Looking at her watch, she was running late. Finishing up the last of her hot dog, she cleaned up and left, feeling like walking on air.
Michael and Andrew were suddenly back in the dressing room, almost no time had passed. To him, it seemed like a dream, but he felt that his faith in the One who gave him the gift of charisma and music was restored. With the help of an angel and a fan. Taking the outfit off the rack, he prepares for the concert, feeling renewed.
The show was great. Crystal and the gang had made a sign wishing him a "Happy Birthday" (it was the week before) and he pointed their way which was stage left when he saw it. Dedicated a song to "someone who reminded me that if one person was touched by God through my music, it was worth it all." Crystal knew it was for her and the worship was intense, she felt the Holy Spirit fire fall on the venue.
Then after the show, the group got to meet him backstage. Andrew and Cassie were there to catch her in case she fainted. She managed to keep her composure and enjoyed it. The entire ride back she didn't say a word, just a smile on her face. Deep down she was thanking God for her answer to her prayer.
It was almost ten-thirty by the time they got back to the church. The night traffic wasn't bad and everyone was tired. Crystal slept for a while, waking at two am. She had her tablet and connected to the church wifi after sneaking off to the next room. As usual, Andy was there in the chat room as he always was, and she told him about the show. What she felt and how they got to meet Michael after the show.
"I have made a decision. I'm going to tell Cassie. Everything is coming out." She hadn't told Andy her secret, just that she had one. "And its going to be on Tuesday while we're out." A brief pause then writing pops up. "Great! You can do this X. I'll be praying. Keep me posted!" Then she logs off.
The door opens. It was Cassie checking in, she was doing a check to see where everyone was. "You all right?" She asks, holding out a bottle of water and Crystal takes it. "I was checking my emails that's all. Everything will be just fine." she says with a smile. She was feeling good at the moment, but deep down, there was dread. Something was going to happen that will bring her down from that high.
She always had a 'sixth sense'. She saw things before they happen in dreams and visions, a lot like what happened in the Bible. And this was one of those moments. Crystal always felt "too different to be normal and too normal to be different". She felt out of place, even among autistic people like herself.
By ten thirty the next morning, everyone was ready to go. Cassie takes Crystal home, always a little worried for her. After the little, beat up car leaves and is out of sight, she unlocks the front door and heads straight to her room. As she lays her bag on the bed, she hears the sounds a struggle come from her sister's room.
Barging in, almost breaking the door down, the sight she finds shakes her to the core. Just like she knew it would happen, her newfound courage dissolves like a popped soap bubble. Her worst fears had been realized.
Part Two: Aftermath
There was her stepfather with Haley, raping her. She screams for her big sister to stop him. He looks up at her and smiles. "Payback's a..., well, I don't have to tell you the rest. And you drove me to do this." Looking at the dead face of the ten year old under him, "In fact, my dear Haley, she forced me to do this. She's begged me day and night for this, because she wants to watch, don't you girl?" He tells the teenager, giving her a wink and a nod.
Crystal steps forward to pull him off, but from under a pillow he pulls out a pistol kept around for self defense. "Take one more step and with one shot will make that pretty little head of yours becomes art splatter behind you." Then he proceeds to further brutalize Haley in front of a terrified Crystal, and he lets them both go when he was finished. "Take a shower!" He tells the younger one as she stumbles away.
Gloria and Andrew were there, unseen and sickened by what they had just witnessed before them. She had to throw up and thankfully Andrew had a bag with him. In her short time in existence, this was certainly one of the most disturbing things she's ever seen, top of the list. Violation of a child in such a horrific way. Andrew was fuming, frustrated by not being stop it. A tear ran down his cheek and the emotions were like Crystal's, pure rage.
"I have to go, Gloria. Sorry I have to leave you." He says, "I can't take it!" and he vanishes, reappearing under a tree beside an abandoned house on the other side of town. It was quite simply, falling apart, like their assignment. Tears began to run down his face.
"Why God, why is it I have to stand by and witness the worst in humanity while my hands are tied? And why does it feel like I've seen my assignment before?" He asks God out loud in frustration. Then he senses another angelic presence arrive. It was Monica, today dressed in a off white pantsuit with a green shirt underneath.
She looks at him like a mother with a child who just cut themselves. "It hurts too much, seeing all this death and destruction is too much for me. I'm seriously thinking about a transfer request." The Irish angel sits beside him, offering a shoulder to cry on and a ear to listen.
Andrew takes up the offer, telling her what had just happened. "After all this time, I'm still mystified by how humans can treat each other like this, especially children." Andrew always had a soft spot for kids, and that made his job at times harder than it needed to be.
"Gloria is with them, don't worry. Now to help answer your questions. Humans are flawed and with free will, it can be disastrous, you know that. But, at the same time out of the greatest pain comes the greatest motivation to make the world a better place, sometimes even the greatest art." Monica sits down beside Andrew and finishes. "As for the other one, maybe this can help."
Running her hand in front of him, an image appears... a little girl, with dark brown braided pigtails that went down her back, comes running past him. She was barefoot and had a cast on her right arm, wearing a flowered sundress. "Crystal, come inside, supper's ready. You better have not been playing in the water barrel again with that cast on. " A woman had come out and sees her daughter and a friend playing tag. They hear her voice and run up the front steps to go in the front door.
Then Andrew finally remembers. There was a case where he was taking someone Home as an assignment and he had to catch a girl who had fell off a sheer drop, but almost missed. She had looked straight at him and asked him to stay with her, wincing in pain, clutching her wrist.
It was an assignment within an assignment, so to speak. After seeing that she was safe, he went about his way. This was the girl before him! Then his memory brought another revelation.
It was 1997 and he was assigned to a hospital ward for sick kids as a nurse. Sometimes during these shifts, he would have to take one Home. It was around midnight and Andrew had just did rounds, checking each bed and was about done when a little girl, almost two, came wandering down the hall. There was some blood on her arm where IVs were inserted that she had pulled out, and was waving at everyone like she was leaving.
He picked up some alcohol wipes and bandages from a nearby cart and kneels down so he could clean the blood off her arm. "What's your name?" he asks, but she wouldn't answer. "Ah, you're the quiet type I see." She just stood there, looking at him with curious eyes. He looks at the bracelet on her wrist, sees her name on it.
"Okay Crystal, let's get you back to bed and those IV's back in. Yeah, I know they're uncomfortable, but it's for your own good. You want to get out of here don't you?" Picking her up gently, he takes her back to her room, where he stays at her side while the doctor on call has to put a restraint on so she couldn't try to sneak out again.
Afterwards, Andrew told her stories about Heaven until she fell asleep. Those grey eyes watching him wide eyed...then eventually, she began to slowly surrendering to sleep as he described it as best he could so she would understand, even drawing pictures to help. That was when all the pieces came together. Their assignment now was that little girl he met before, obviously all grown up.
"The Father brought the two of you back together because of those memories of her being secure in your arms. You told her a story about how God would always be there for His children. She couldn't remember because she was so young, but it has remained a part of her soul since." Monica explains to him. "Now the Enemy has found and is exploiting a weakness to destroy her. They know how precious she is to the Father and wants to keep His plan for her from being fulfilled."
Andrew had formed a bond with her and suddenly was filled with a new resolve to help her. This was why he was here, to fight for her when she cannot do it herself. This time with the situation at the moment, the stakes were higher than ever.
Gloria stayed with Crystal and watched as the seventeen year old silently wept, the front of her sweater soaked in tears. After what she just witnessed, that feeling of bravery she had to speak out was gone. To her there was only one option, if she was going down, the monster would go down with her. So she started to collect some things out of the safe under her bed...
Gloria was under orders to watch over not just her, but Haley as well. The little girl was curled in the corner, freshly scrubbed but mentally, she was out of it. Looking her sister's way after a long period of silence, she finds finally spoke. The look in her eyes was a glare of contempt.
"How sick are you?" She demanded. "Telling him that?" Haley looked at her sister and Crystal knew it was real. This was no kiddie tantrum, but pure rage all in a ten year old body.
She tried to reach out to her little sister, to hold and comfort her. But Haley would have no part of it. "Don't touch me!" She screams and leaves the the room. Crystal felt like she had lost her only sibling. The man who lived under their roof would turn their mother against her next.
She had never known her biological father, so as far as she was concerned, he was always out of the picture. Beyond that, there was nothing keeping her in this world. Crystal pulls out some stationary and begins to write the hardest letter she's ever had to write. With each word, it felt like she had landed in the deepest part of Hell.
It was Sunday and Cassie had to leave to visit a sick family member at the last minute and wouldn't be back until the next day. So it was Andrew in charge of the group meeting this evening. Crystal came in as usual, but unusually quiet and her bag empty. She really didn't want to talk to anybody, plus she was carrying a package, with an envelope taped to it.
He tries to get her to open up but instead gets a nervous silence. She tells him to leave her be, that everything's going to be okay. Andrew could tell by her tone something was up and raised some serious concerns. In fact, it scared him.
After the meeting, she goes into the office and places the box in Cassie's mail cubby, telling Andrew it was a few things Cassie had lent her and wanted returned. A tear fell from her face knowing what was to come. In her mind there was one way out and she was taking it. "God give me strength to do what I need to do and please forgive me." She whispers while leaving the room.
When she got home from school the next day, Crystal's mom was waiting and went ballistic on her. "What is all this about you and Haley? My husband told me some things before he left this morning for work!" In a profanity laden rant, she laid it on thick, using every name in the book. It became too much and the dam just broke inside of Crystal and it all came out right then.
Crystal bursts out, "You want to know the truth Mom? That sorry piece of crap you married? HE RAPED ME AND HALEY! Yeah, that's right, I know for a fact that he's been cheating on you right under your nose! And he made sure you never suspected a thing! I caught him with her Saturday after returning home from the lock in!"
Margaret was stunned. She didn't know what to say or think, the words that reached her ears stung her. That still didn't stop her from lunging at Crystal and ends up with a small gash on her forehead right up at the hairline from the struggle. Crystal wincing from minor bruises after being pushed to the floor.
"Why would he do something like that? He would never cheat on me!" Then she raises her hand to slap Crystal, but swings and misses instead while holding one hand to her head to stop the bleeding. She ends up taking Haley and going to the emergency room.
Crystal locked herself in her bedroom, all cried out and alone. She didn't mean to do it, hurting Mom like this. It was self defense, I didn't mean to injure her. Now, I may be committed to another psych ward because of that man. He's always trying to turn everyone against me. He's already done it to Mom and Haley. Her worst fear on the verge of coming true. The guilt was unbearable by this point.
Monica and Gloria were there to witness the whole thing. Seeing the girl curled up on the bed, trembling from all the emotions that were becoming too overwhelming for her. "It is all out, now she can start the healing. Next is getting her out of here." Monica says, "She's in great danger at this moment."
Gloria looks over and notices Crystal staring right at them, like she knew they were right there. "Does she know we're here?" She asks Monica. "Can she see us in our celestial states?" Monica explains to her that some are given the gift of seeing them but often they just sense their presence.
Crystal then mumbles something in their direction. After a moment, she yells, "Leave me alone, get out!" Picking up a stuffed animal off her bed, she throws it at the angels across the room. Then she did it again and again, until there was no more within reach around her. Then the girl sat there, curled up, giving a glare with anger filled eyes. She continued staring their way, begging for it all to end.
Monica tells Gloria to stay and comfort her when Andrew shows up. He had a package under his arm. "I have to take this to Cassie, it's addressed to her." he says, pointing to the envelope on top. His voice was somber, how he hated this moment. Then he vanishes and so does Monica.
Crystal pulls from under her mattress a braided 'rope', made from yarn she kept for crocheting. Like so many times before, she ties it around her neck and pulls it tight. Hoping she blacks out, waking up on the other side.
But she would only be half right, she just blacks out. Her grip loosens, allowing her to wake up a minute or two later. She was used the disappointment and frustrated as always at her failed attempt. I can't even kill myself right, she thinks and wants to try again, but didn't have it in her at the moment.
Relieved, Gloria speaks to Crystal's spirit. "God is here with you. You need to be somewhere safe, before he comes back. Try your friend from school." The teen seemed to respond. With trembling hands, she picks up her phone and calls Emily. "I need a place to crash. Can't tell you over the phone, I have to tell you in person."
Andrew meets with Cassie at her house. Handing the package to her, he was dreading this moment. He had an idea of what it contained and his heart was breaking. "Here's something that was left for you yesterday, Crystal said she was returning some things you lent her." His hands were trembling. Cassie opens the envelope on top and begins to read the contents.
To my sister Cassie,
This might be the last letter I may ever write. So might as well get it all out so when I'm gone, at least someone will know the truth.
We have been through thick and thin. Ever since that day we met, I knew we would be closer than best friends. We would be sisters, bonded together by love and not blood. Even the same spiritual DNA as you once put it. Now not even that can save me from myself. I have a confession to make, one that would shock even the big sister I never had. But then, you have had suspicions. I always knew the possibiity of that.
I've held on to a dark secret from everyone, even you. Now I'm desperate. From five until almost eleven when I was placed in foster care, my stepfather molested and raped me. Then twice at thirteen after I came back to my family. I also think he's been coming in and attacking me while I'm sleeping. Recently, I've woken up with bruises and bleeding.
His mind is always filthy, always accusing me of sleeping around and asking if I had a boyfriend. One time, he had the nerve to ask how many boys I slept with at one of the youth rallies earlier this year. Last year, he asked me to perform an...act on him (to put it politely) and I responded by slapping him right in the face. That's why I've had the fits in my therapy sessions I've told you about.
That's why I'm heading for a breakdown I will never come back from. It's like the abuse that separated me and my family that led to us meeting never ended. Now he's forced himself on Haley. Earlier today (the letter was dated the day after the Fair trip), I came home and found him with her. His own daughter and my half sister. I'm a failure for not being there protect my sister.
How can go on Cassie? I was stirred enough to tell you all this on our Tuesday outing, but that's obviously gone out the window. Now I can't even look you straight in the eye, but then, that was always difficult for me.
There's only one way out. I haven't decided when or how, but don't be shocked if you hear of my passing. At least when I go through with it, someone would at least know the truth. Enclosed are my journals I leave as a testament for what he has done to me. He was always trying to search my room for any evidence I could use against him for what he did to me and Haley, so I had to get them away from his spying. You're the only one I can trust with them and know you will do the right thing. As a final request, in the event of my death, turn these in to the police. If I go down, I'm taking him with me.
It's nobody's fault but mine about not speaking up sooner. I carry that burden alone. Maybe that's why we mesh so well, we both experienced the same kind of trauma. At least I will have left something to bring that monster down. If not for me, for Haley and any others who suffered by his hands. Nobody else needs to suffer because of him. It would be the only right thing I've ever did.
The pain this man has caused me drove me to almost kill him last week. I cannot face the world with this stain. Everyone who looks at me will know and every man will see me as used goods. Because of him, I've lost a piece of myself I never can get back.
Please forgive me Cassie (and Andrew). I've felt like I've betrayed you. The number of times I've had it on the tip of my tongue were more times than the grains of the sand and like a coward, pulled back. I ask is that you don't ever hate me for this.
Just remember me for who I was. A loyal and faithful friend and not for all of my screw ups. At least now I will finally have the peace that was so elusive while I was alive. Because I surely ain't getting it in this life. Did you ever suspect anything, just patiently waiting to ask me the right questions at the right moment to get me to spill it all out? Of course you have, I'm not stupid. But anyway, you probably have come closest to putting it all together. I've never had a friend like you.
And for that, I will always thank God He sent you. But it's too late for me, I can't live like this anymore. This was entirely my decision, and none of this is your fault, it's all on me.
See you on the Other Side. Love, Crystal.
She leaves a shaky signature at the end. Cassie could see the spots where teardrops fell on the page. Putting it down, she opens the box, finding some journals. Cassie recognized that unique handwriting anywhere. Taking one look in them would have to wait for the moment.
Cassie got her phone and was frantically dialing Crystal's number when it rang. It was her. That brought a little relief. "I was just going to call you, I just read your letter and I need to know that you won't do anything to harm yourself. Please promise me that much." Cassie pleaded, "Let me call Pastor Scott and we can talk this through." It was taking everything she had to keep from panicking.
She then put her phone on speaker for Andrew to hear. "I've already tried. Right now I'm too exhausted mentally to do anything at the moment. But I am packing to stay with a friend. Please don't tell my mother where I am, she will have me committed, I just told her and after a fight, she went to the emergency room. I'm alone now." Crystal had a tired tone in her voice and hangs up.
In the emergency room, Crystal's mom called Monica, the woman from the school and soon after she arrived. She filled her in on what happened and began to express frustration about her oldest daughter. Her head was throbbing and Haley was at her side, unusually quiet.
"I have to do something Monica. Her outbursts had never been this severe. There's no other way, I have to file commitment papers, she's too dangerous for me to handle. My husband always told me this would happen. Also, I have my other daughter to worry about." Margaret looks at her youngest child, drawing her close. Monica tries to change her mind, but she wouldn't hear any of it. The wound would take three stitches to close up.
Gloria walked alongside Crystal to Emily's house. She and her parents were there waiting and after a long talk, they managed to get some food into her. Then despite her exhaustion, finally she returned Cassie's calls at about seven thirty.
"I wish I had kept my mouth shut, and I also know Andrew's there. If anything happens to me, get those journals to the proper authorities. Promise me this." Crystal pleaded with Cassie and made her swear to do so.
"What do you mean she went off on you? And those accusations are lies!" Crystal's stepfather screams, "I never touched her or Haley! I have to put my foot down. She needs to be locked away, I've always told you, but you never listen to me! Who knows what she's done to our little girl? Maybe she's the one messing with her! I want that freak out of this house!"
Monica was there, trying to mediate the situation. His wife was waiting in the living room when he came home after a long day at the successful auto body shop he owned. Margaret was standing there, bandaged head and demanding answers. Doing what he must to keep his lie up, demands Monica leave right then so he and his wife "discuss" the situation. Haley was in her room, watching all of this.
Andrew was trying to calm Cassie down. He was doing everything possible to reassure her Crystal was in a safe place and that she was alive. He listened to her story and let her vent.
"I had always known deep down something was seriously wrong, even suspecting this. Someone with her past, that is always a possibility." She says, "I had seen moment after moment where she wanted to say something, but it doesn't come out. All the signs were there."
The next day at school Crystal dreaded. Monica had to know what was going on by now and was going to pester her for details. Calling her out of class, they talked. Monica got a statement but wouldn't let her leave. That made her angry, wanting to just escape.
It wasn't until someone came asking for help with a file cabinet in the room next door that she finally got away to her Geometry class. When Monica returned, she was gone. For the rest of the day, Crystal avoided the angel every chance she could, even looking from around corners just in case. It took all she had to keep it together.
The next evening, while trying to do math homework at Emily's house, there was a knock on the door. It was the police asking for Crystal. The officers explained that her mom had papers drawn for her to be placed on a psych hold. "You are not being arrested, this is just for your own safety."
She agreed to go peacefully, only asking Emily to call Cassie and let her know what was going on and to start praying. "Let her know I will contact her as soon as possible if I'm allowed to even access to a phone." Crystal knew this was only the beginning of a nightmare.
Then Crystal cooperated and went with the female officer, not wanting to cause trouble. Once outside, she saw her mother, and Monica beside her. Mom was laughing, like she won some game nobody else knew about. Monica's face showed great sadness. Her greatest fear come to life, and she was feeling like the sacrificial lamb on the way to slaughter.
Cassie answered her phone. It was Emily. "Crystal asked me to call you. She was just taken by the police for a psych evaluation. Papers were drawn up by her mother. Please pray and she will try and contact you when it's possible."
Andrew was there, listening on the speaker phone. Both of them were shocked at what they just heard. But the first thing they two did was get down on their knees and started to pray like never before.
Going through downtown, the police car passes her church. "Please pray, just pray." That was the only thought going through her mind, in fact that was the one thing keeping her from going mad. Gloria was sitting beside her. At least she's got a spark of hope left. Maybe it's enough. Gloria thought holding the shocked girl's hand.
After arriving and an assessment, then some medical tests, she was admitted. It seemed like an eternity sitting in one of the "holding rooms" that had just a bed with nothing on it. A two way mirror was on one wall and classical music was playing (which was a good thing, though it didn't do much to get her calmed down) softly. The only thing she could do was sleep.
She knew there was a camera hidden behind that mirror and kept her mouth shut so they couldn't use anything against her. An officer was standing at the door, letting her go to the bathroom if she needed to. The last thing she ate was at lunch and it must have been at least seven hours since then so she was starving.
A doctor finally came in and Crystal had to tell him exactly what had happened. She didn't mean to hurt her mother. It was in self defense, she kept insisting. That was what made her angry, leaving her feeling like she was being interrogated like a criminal. He made sure she got something to eat when she asked.
What crime did she commit, the truth finally coming out or defending herself? That man Mom married convinced her to do this. He finally got his wish of getting me in an institution. He will pay for this one day, somehow I will get my revenge. He better enjoy it while he can.
Finally, by the time she was transferred to a ward, it was almost ten o'clock at night. All she had was the clothes on her back and a set for the next day, the officers did allow her to take that much. A robe and gown was provided so what little she was allowed to bring with her could be washed overnight.
Both sets of clothing had to be checked out in case there was anything potentially dangerous in them. They won't find anything but maybe a tissue or something. So I know I'm good there. Faling onto the mattress, she was thankful exhaustion quickly took over her. A mercifully dreamless sleep was the best thing for the girl at that moment.
The time passed slowly on the ward. Every minute seemed like an hour and it was almost like time had slowed to a crawl. Not being able to move around much gives one lots of time to think. Between the on unit school, social workers and doctors, there's not much spare time for her to do anything else but to think.
Crystal was worried about her sister and mom than anything else. She had a hard time doing anything with them on the forefront of her mind. She needed to be with Mom and Haley at this time, not in some nut house watching other teens being restrained when they became disruptive. They needed her, and it frustrated her the system was keeping them apart.
Seeing that happen brought back memories of the first time around six years earlier. She could recall hearing the screams coming out of the isolation rooms echoing in her mind. When everyone had to be sent to their rooms for their own safety, though some dared to peek out the door.
Thankfully, she never had to have that happen to her. There had been a boy she recalled was pretty well behaved most of the time but had a terrible anger problem. When he got out of control at times, they had to put him in an isolation room. One time they even sedated him. Simply put, they stuck a syringe in his backside by what she heard later on.
Her family was torn apart once apart like before. Where would she go? And once she turns 18, she's aged out. "I have a surprise for you. One I know you will make you happy." Dr. Steele told her a week in, with Gloria by her side, "First, there's some visitors here for you and second, someone has offered to take you in." The student/angel goes to the door and motions them in. It was Andrew and Cassie!
Her heart filled with joy at seeing them. For the first time in a long while, there was a ray of hope. "How you holding up, Girlie (that was Cassie's nickname for Crystal)? Are they treating you okay up here? This seems to be a nice place."
"And we hear you're getting out this weekend too." Andrew mentions, a smile on his face hoping to elicit a smile. "Where you're going when you get out is a surprise." For a few minutes they talked, but their meeting was cut short when a patient became distuptive.
After about a week and a half of being cooped up in the hospital, Crystal was finally released. All she knew about her stepfather was that he ran off and the police were looking for him. The anger she had for him was strong in her, that she knew, but how to express it was near impossible.
The exams the doctors performed on her and Haley clearly showed clear indications of recent assault. Thankfully the results for diseases and pregnancy were negative. Her little sister was also removed and placed a foster home, but they would be allowed to see each other.
Thursday came and Andrew came to pick her up along with a social worker. She would come back to the ward after school to get her bags and sign some papers to finally leave. It was 7:15 in the morning when they arrived after getting some breakfast.
Straight to Monica's office she went, a girl sat outside, apparently serving detention. Pointing to the open door, the girl nodded yes. Crystal knocked and Monica lifted her head from reading some files. The two embraced and talked up until just before the bell.
Everyone was asking her where she was, but Crystal tells them that she rather not get into details. Only Monica, some of her teachers, and Emily knew the truth. Safe to say, the day went better than expected. It felt good to be out of the loony bin. The freedom of finally being able to breathe fresh air and not have to be cooped up almost the whole day behind a locked door resembling a bank vault.
After school, Andrew picked Crystal up and got her signed out of the ward for good and she was free to go. They were heading down the road she grew up on. "Please stop here. Just do it." she says pleading with him, pointing to a gravel driveway and he pulls over on the side of the road. There was just an old house on the verge of collapse. It was the same one he was at when Monica found him almost two weeks earlier.
"This was where I grew up. Where the nightmare began. My grandfather left it to my mom. She had to sell it so she could pay the attorney fees from when we were taken into foster care the first time. Haley was three, but I don't think she remembers." Her voice had a sad tone to it. "My grandfather was raised here, like my mom and Haley and me."
"It has been years since I left here. My foster mom avoided this stretch of road when I was staying with her on advice of the social worker at the time. Let's just go." She says, memories flooding her mind and he saw that in her eyes. He knew she was trying to pull herself together. Andrew hands her a blindfold and asks for her to put it on before heading back down the road, she puts it on wondering why.
Less than ten minutes later, they arrive. Helping her out of the car and leading her up some steps, Andrew tells her to take off the blindfold. Crystal was shocked to find herself at Cassie's house. The woman had a big smile on her face.
She was standing on the porch, waiting. "The spare room is already set up. Now let's get you settled in." Thankfully, it was there was no school the next day and all she wanted to do was sleep. She was too tired for anything else, but now, in a safe environment, it could come easier.
Later after dinner and Crystal was in bed, Cassie and Andrew talked. "She's in shock by what the therapist has said. The police have her statement and what she left with me. Cassie poured herself and Andrew a cup of hot tea. "I had always knew that stepfather of hers never liked me. Now I know why." Her hands shook trying to drink it. Andrew calms her merely with his presence.
"My worst fears have been confirmed." Cassie was becoming angry, and she had every right to be. "Those journals were graphic and made me nauseous. I feel so guilty Andrew, how did I miss the obvious signs? I know them all too well but didn't connect the dots." She wanted to hit something to let off some of the frustration.
"It's not your fault. She trusts you and at this moment, that is key. God won't leave the two of you or her family. Andrew tries to reassure her that this was the best place for Crystal at this time. "We have to keep reminding her of that." Easier said than done that's for sure. The angel thinks while saying it.
The next week was about Crystal adjusting to her new life. It was so busy, there was virtually no time for her to even breathe. But the hardest thing was the fact her mom and sister refused to see her. Despite Mom's betrayal, Crystal still loved her. Haley was not doing well at the foster home she had been placed in by what she had been told.
Gloria watched Crystal as she kept busy with homework, trying to keep her mind on anything but what needed to be addressed. A mixture of emotions ran through her mind: anger, pain, frustration. She asks Monica, "How can she go on with all this? She doing everything possible to put up a brave front, but how long can she keep it up?"
Monica answers that real quick. "It's a defense mechanism to keep from feeling anything. She thinks that if she does, it would be too much for her to handle. Like a sedative, it will eventually wear off. And when that happens, we have to be there to catch her."
Crystal then slams the pen down, frustrated by the assignment. "Can't I have a moment's peace? Guess the only way I can ever have any is if I drop dead!" She says, barely keeping a tolerable tone, "And I don't want to feel anything!" The two angels were baffled, was she one of the few humans who could see and hear them? It seemed like she overheard the conversation.
Later that night while she was sleeping, Crystal suddenly began to toss and turn, muttering. "No, stop, get away." She begins flailing and knocks a cup off the nightstand. Her eyes are wide open and arms waving, screaming. Sitting straight up, her eyes open but not seeing.
Cassie runs in and begins to comfort her. Holding her close, she became like a mother and begins to calm the teenager down with soothing words. Crystal's heart finally slows down and all was peaceful again. All she had to do was just breathe.
Monica and Gloria were trying to reach out to Margaret (Crystal's mom) he next day in Dr. Steele's office. She was still overwhelmed by what happened. "I can't believe this, nobody can give me a straight answer. Not even my husband and he's run off." She holds a cup of coffee and nearly drops it because of her trembling.
"You have to know your children love you." Gloria says, taking the coffee from her. "They're just as upset as you are." Monica pulls out a letter and hands it to her. "Crystal wrote this and you should read it."
Margaret turns away and refuses to even look at it. It was a letter saying Crystal was sorry for not saying anything earlier and for hurting her. But she would take it and maybe read it later.
"To be honest, I had been suspicious he may been having an affair behind my back for some time. Now I know it's true, but never like this. Cheating on me with my own daughters. Words escape me." Then she goes silent for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts.
Staring straight ahead, she tells the other two women in the office, she wanted that pervert of a soon to be ex-husband of hers to be found, dead or alive. "I have to go find a divorce lawyer. And clean out every single trace of him from our lives. I need some help to burn his possessions in the front yard or maybe even a yard sale? Want to volunteer?"
Finally taking a sip of the coffee, she tells them something else. "At least I did one right thing with Crystal here, letting her stay with Cassie. It's better than her being in the system again. She would be a better mother to her than I could." She had signed over custody of her oldest to the woman from church.
"I had only met her a few times, but I now see why her and Cassie are so close and maybe she will forgive me for being a fool to think my husband was the ideal man for me. I should have married her father instead when he proposed to me." Then she gets up and leaves the office, the look of a scorned woman on her face.
Later that week, the cabin fever and having someone else always around was really starting to get on her nerves. Crystal just wanted to be alone, even if it's for an hour. It was a part of her nature, solitude came easy for her. Some time by herself to try and get her head together. Being cooped up made her feel like she was in a prison camp.
"We can't let you do that. You may go through what you said in that letter," Cassie tells her time and time again, "and that would only cause great pain for everyone who loves you. Plus you know who's out there and until he's caught, we can't take any risks. After I found you at the top of the stairs Sunday, you can't be alone at this time."
Crystal had stealthfully pulled a disappearing act once again during the youth group meeting just two days earlier and was found looking over railing on the top floor contemplating suicide. Since then, she felt like a prisoner. It was becoming much harder to find moments to physically be alone. "For her own safety" was the line they used.
"Yeah right, that excuse of a stepfather used that line to justify having me committed at least once a week. Everytime he said that, it was like a stab in my heart." She told Cassie that and the woman backed off.
She lifts Crystal's chin up so they're looking eye to eye. "I understand that this is hard on all of us, but you have to trust me fully when it comes to your safety." When it came to Crystal's stepfather, his name was never mentioned around her outside of therapy, not without an unpleasant reaction.
Crystal looks into her blue-gray eyes and knows she's right, but still feels it isn't fair. Anything that was sharp, poisons or medications were monitored and kept locked up. If things got too quiet, people worried. All she wanted was for all this to go away, but that was shot to pieces now. She couldn't even sit on the porch and not feel watched.
That was another thing, she couldn't shake the feeling there were eyes on her...good or bad, she couldn't tell...
Cassie's heart broke watching all this. She had a childhood very similar to Crystal's and this brought back those emotions. All her bouts with depression, the attempts on her own life, all stemming from her own trauma. She always believed traumatized people attracted others like themselves. In a sense, she was looking at her younger self every time she sees this girl.
The woman ran her fingers across some of the scars she had inflicted on herself. A constant reminder of the struggle with mental illness she had all her life. Now maybe she could pass some of what she's learned onto another young person who needs it.
The angels were in the room, unseen. Crystal kept looking their way, like she knew they were there. They knew the shock was starting to wear off, it was clear by the look. Her eyes were barely alive, the spark long faded. "Why can't she just get it over with? Let her feelings out?" Gloria asks, sounding a more than a little impatient.
"Emotions for someone like her are more difficult to process. Some parts of an autistic person's brain are not fully developed. Also, something like what she's been through, it's often a struggle to even get up in the morning." Monica tells the young angel in training, placing a hand on her shoulder.
She also tells Gloria that sometimes the best thing to do is to just be there. Pointing to the two sitting on the couch, words didn't have to be said. They could feel that closeness between them. "God made humans social creatures, to interact with one another and friendship is a very powerful thing."
Andrew takes Crystal to and from school. With her stepfather on the loose, they couldn't take chances with safety. So, everywhere, even outside in the yard, she was closely watched. There was more than sufficient evidence to justify an arrest warrant and he was now a wanted fugitive. But today, a man stands in the shadows, dressed in black and in a disguise, was watching.
It was a risk coming back here, but he had to. In his mind, the girl ruined his life. Everyone he spoke to either refused to say a word or didn't know where she was. But he managed to find her at school and follow her from there one afternoon.
Now he had to find a way to get that Andrew guy out of the way first. Whenever he was around, the stranger in black couldn't even get close, like there was a barrier between them. Then, just before a cop car passed him by, he hides behind a tree. If it weren't for him, this would be a whole lot easier, he thought taking a draw off his cigarette.
Andrew was standing on the front steps when he noticed someone move in the shadows across the street. A figure had tried to hide, but by time he got there, it was gone. A smoldering cigarette butt lying on the ground was the only evidence remaining. The man who left it there had found out what he needed to know. Now it was time to execute his plan...
It was a dreary Wednesday afternoon and Andrew was trying to help her with homework while Cassie had choir practice. Out of the blue she asks, "Have you ever have the feeling someone is following you?" Andrew was surprised, for she hadn't said much today.
She had almost gotten into a fight with a boy earlier that day because of a rumor he spread that she had been arrested. So, after school, while waiting for Andrew to come and pick her up, Crystal ended up looking for him. Finding him with his cheerleader girlfriend and slams him against the lockers.
She then politely lets him know she was not arrested but refused to get into details. Apparently he had been passing by Emily's house when she was taken in and assumed that was the case. Needless to say, she set him straight on that. He shuts up and apologizes for it, seeing the anger in her eyes and that scared him.
The rain and lightning came down hard, it perfectly matched her eyes and emotions. "It's so strong. He's close, I can feel it Andrew, and I am scared." A tear slid down her cheek. Pulling herself together she asks, "Now can we finish this homework? Quiz me on this history assignment." She said as though nothing happened.
"What makes you say that?" He asks, curious at what she just said, wanting to know more. "Sometimes I just feel things. Can't explain it." was all she would say, trying to get back to her homework. Doing her best to act like nothing was wrong.
Cassie came back and had dinner with Crystal, Andrew, Monica, and Gloria. It was almost a routine now, the five of them together at the small dining table. Her appetite was coming back, at least it was a good sign, Cassie thought watching her, she hadn't eaten much during all this. But she noticed a slight tremble in her hand and felt a sense of concern.
Later, at bedtime, Cassie sat Crystal down and had a talk. "Your mom asked me to take you in. She was duped and feels she can't take care of you at this time." She explains. "I want to let you know that and the fact that she loves you. She's just as much a victim as you are."
"She regrets her actions, how she treated you after this came out. I know you were scared, it was out of self defense you hurt her. Want to talk about it?" Crystal looks at her with anger, then rises from the couch. "Goodnight." she says in a cold voice.
Cassie grabs her arm. "Let's get it out here. You have every right to be angry and we don't even think you know how deep it goes." Andrew steps in and backs her up. "Crystal, it's OK to be angry. But it has to come out sometime and somehow."
"You really want to know if I'm angry?" Crystal starts ranting. "The answer is of course I'm angry! About everything, my family life, the crap I had to put up with. I can tell you things I saw growing up in that house no kid should ever have to see or hear. Wanna know about that?" Her tone had a barely seething anger underneath it. "There, I said it. Happy now?"
Crystal then tells them of her dreams. How she hears the voices that taunt and belittle her whenever she would do something good. "Whenever I get a good grade, I hear them. Every achievement I make they have to ruin it for me. I must be going mad."
She then pulls away from her grip and goes to her room, closing the door behind her. Crystal knew they were right, she was just too stubborn to admit it. The pent up feelings were starting to surface and she didn't like it one bit. In fact, it scared her. The fear of her hurting someone she loves because of her outward expression of those feelings was one of her worst fears.
Death would be better than this. I never could live with this stain, everyone would see me differently. Even Cassie and Andrew look at me like I'm some kind of a fragile freak. All the tricks she had developed over time to keep them under control just were not working anymore for her.
Climbing into her bed, she prayed for some sleep. Cassie checks in on her later and stands there at the door, worried about what to do. Andrew had told her about how Crystal had mentioned about the feeling of being watched. What if she was right? She always had a sense that often was dead on. That gnawed at her as she tried to sleep throughout the night.
The next day, Crystal had decided. She had to get out of this place, it was starting to drive her crazy. Somehow she would get out and run. It felt like she was about to pull her hair out and climb the walls. Pulling out some money and her glasses case, while Cassie was running errands.
Andrew was dozing on the couch, so heading out the front door was out of the question. Sneaking out the back was her only option. Before leaving, she left a note on the table. Had to get out and clear my head. Going back where my nightmare began. It's too much for me being cooped up inside here like a prisoner. Love C.
Andrew thought he had heard a noise and went to investigate. He sees Crystal as she leaves the front yard. The ground was still wet from yesterday and made it hard sometimes to walk. A bus stop was only about a hundred feet or so from the house on the corner and managed to catch the bus just as it arrived. He sees Gloria was right behind her. The young angel follows her onto the bus and it takes off.
The ride gave Crystal time to think. She knew exactly where to go. How would she feel going back there? It had been six and a half years since she left there. It was appropriate to end this where it all began. Gloria was at her side, and feeling the teen was planning something.
Looking up at the sky, she could see the clouds gathering up for another round of rain. The weather report had called for it earlier that day. A perfect reflection of her mood at the moment. She hated the weather like this, it was a reminder of the day her and Haley were taken into foster care so long ago.
Crystal opened her glasses case and caressed the velvet lining inside. Yes, they're still there. She was glad at what she had found. When Cassie went through her things for safety reasons, she had missed a little something. A back up plan in plain sight. The power she felt being able to choose when to die gave her a sense of control.
Cassie had found the note coming back and was frantically trying to track Crystal down. She called her cell, getting no response. Now her nerves were shot, worry etching her pretty thirty-year old face. Sitting on her couch, Cassie began to pray for her little sister. "God, please watch over her and keep her safe. Send angels to protect her from that madman until she's back here." It wasn't much, but it could be enough.
She suddenly sensed a presence filling the room, something she had never felt before. Cassie sees Andrew standing before her, glowing with a light from above. "Cassie, I am an angel sent by God." He says kneeling before her, lifting her head.
"Don't be afraid. You didn't fail her. And yes, she does have an angel with her. But right now she is in great danger. Her stepfather is following her and will strike at the right moment." He points to the note on the table. "She tells where in here. And we have to hurry, there's not much time." Quickly, they get in the red Cadillac and go.
Crystal had gotten off the bus about a quarter mile from the old house. Little had changed from before and she took a back street. It took a little time, but when she saw the pond, she knew she was close. Almost exactly as she had remembered it.
The wooded patch was still there, it would lead her to where she needed to go. Just before stepping in, she see Gloria standing about three feet away to her left. "Leave me be. I just need time alone. Crystal's voice was heavily laden with anger just breaking the surface.
Gloria stood her ground. "I can't let you." she says, her tone firm. Crystal gives in and they trudged into the patch of woods just before them. "Fine then, come along, just watch out for the poison ivy and snakes." She takes a glance at the angel's footwear. They begin to walk through the wooded shortcut.
"How do you know this area so well?" Gloria asks, then she sees the old, white house just visible in the distance. "If you must know, this was where I grew up." she says, staring straight ahead. The woods then end and opened to this huge backyard. Gloria could tell this was plowed once, at least part of it, but nature was slowly reclaiming it back.
The house looked like it was on its last legs. Windows were encrusted with dirt and a few of them were even broken. Vines were creeping up the sides, being allowed to grow wild, little orange flowers on them. A huge oak tree on the left marked the end of where a gravel driveway used to be.
"Never thought I would ever step foot here again. It's almost like nothing had changed. This place should have been burned to the ground long ago, with my stepfather in it. And I would have been more than happy to have brought the gasoline and matches." Crystal stood under the big tree, glasses case in hand.
"She is planning to take her life. Ending it where it all began." Andrew tells Cassie on the way there, "She feels like there is no other way out. God is proud of what you've done, never let anyone tell you otherwise. He knew Crystal would need somebody who can understand her. Knows what it was like to be hurt like she was, so he sent her you."
"Her mother is too busy having to deal with everything going on right now to really do anything but you can. That's why she asked you to take her daughter, she trusts you fully. We don't have much time." He turns onto the road that leads down to where they needed to be.
"Leave me be Gloria," Crystal begged. "You're making me nervous. I can't do this with you here." Leaning against the tree and opening the hard black case, she peels back the velvet lining and two razor blades drop out. Gloria tries to stop her and think it over. "You don't have to do this, suicide you know isn't the answer."
Crystal tries to strike a bargain with the young angel. "If you want to stop me, answer this question: where is mercy for the memories I have to endure? Having them play day and night in my head, affecting everything I do? When you can give me the answer, then I may reconsider. Don't take too long though, I just need to get up the courage to do it." Crystal was in no mood to hear anything else.
"Have you ever been raped Gloria? Do you know what it feels like being torn apart on every level of your being? The feeling of having a stain you know that can never come out, and always feeling like everyone can see it?" She asks her, waiting for a moment for a response.
"I don't know what that is like and wouldn't want to, but please hand me the blades, both of them. We can talk it out, there is a better way to deal with this." Gloria pleads, but Crystal would not hear of it.
Holding one to her wrist, she tells Gloria and to stand back. "If you haven't been what I've been through, you have no right to say anything! I swear I'll do it. The pain is too much for me to bear. My mom was right, I really am too emotionally fragile for my own good. This is the only logical thing left to do."
Before the young angel could do anything, she heard a click, like a gun being cocked. Gloria sees a man behind Crystal, clad in dark clothes with a lit cigarette hanging from his mouth and reeking of alcohol, possibly even high on something. He had a smirk on his face.
"First smart thing you've actually said, you're way too much of a liability to even be breathing." He says, the gun right at the back of Crystal's head. It was her stepfather, and he had her right where he wanted. "Much less be out among normal people. Always told your mother you needed to be put away, but did she listen to me? No."
He then grabs the girl and roughly throws her against the tree and turns her around, making Crystal look into his eyes before aiming the pistol right between her eyes. "You are nothing but a worthless, disobedient little piece of trash! I've tried to warn you but you wouldn't listen. So I had to make an example of your sister to make you obey." She sees he had a sadistic smile on his face.
Crystal just stared at the man, then began to laugh. "Might as well do it. There's nothing left here for me." Her voice indicated some kind of strange giddiness. "It would make you nothing but a child rapist and killer. By what I know, even the hardest inmates don't like pedophiles or child killers."
"I've already given my report to the police. They're onto you like a dog. So go ahead, I've got nothing to lose as long as you go down with me." But inside Crystal really just wanted it to end, he would kill her and that would save her the trouble of suicide.
"In the name of God, stop." A confident voice rang out. Crystal glanced over out the corner of her eye to see Gloria...glowing. She didn't know what was going on, but she took advantage of the distraction.
The angel's announcement took his focus off of her just enough to slash the razor blade she had originally intended to slice her wrist with across his left cheek. Blood began to flow, making the man stumble backwards in pain. Then she runs towards the woods they had come out of. The man sees her run, then turns his attention the young angel.
"I'll get to her sooner or later." He turned his pistol towards Gloria, bleeding pretty heavily. "I guess I have to deal with you too." Aiming the gun straight at Gloria, he pulls the trigger. She catches the bullet with her bare hand and tosses it to the ground.
"How dare you harm a child, then when exposed, attempt to kill her?" Her voice barely contained the rage within, she had every right to be angry. Shocked by what he had just seen, he shudders and out of pure terror, drops the weapon and runs away.
He didn't get very far. An auburn haired woman was in his path, emitting a unnatural light. The sight made him stumble at her feet. Monica, stern faced, picked him up by the shirt and stared right into his terrified eyes to show she wasn't playing.
"As you humans would say, your number's up." Her Irish accent enhanced by the righteous anger she had at the moment. Just then, the police sirens rang out. She let go of his shirt and he dropped to the ground, unable to move. It was there he finally passed out from the blood he lost from his sliced cheek.
Crystal was running on pure adrenaline. Scared out of her mind, it was all she had. What in blazes just happened back there? Since when hallucinations become a side effect to lithium? It has to be that or I really am losing my mind. I had a gun aimed right between my eyes and ready to die when I see Gloria began to glow. I must have gotten a bad prescription at the pharmacy.
It had been so long since coming back to this area, she became lost. The panic of the moment affecting her bearings and causing great confusion for her. Everything she remembered about this part of the woods was all but gone. Every sound seemed amplified, even the sound of a chipmunk running across the fallen leaves triggered feelings of panic.
Tripping over a root, she scrapes her knee, snapping her back to reality. But the physical pain was nothing compared to the terror that filled her. Crawling under a tree, all she just wanted to do was die. Maybe God in His infinite mercy, would finally grant her wish at last.
She takes the razor blade still in her hand and slides it against her skin, closing her eyes doing so, but not feeling it slice into her flesh. Either stop my pain or take me Home God. Those are your only options. That was the only thought going through her head. I will not let that man take my body again or my life. Death by my own hand would be better.
Cassie and Andrew arrived to find Crystal had fled. "She's got a second blade and ran that way." Gloria points in the general direction Crystal had headed. Trekking through the woods, it wasn't too far inside when they find a disturbing sight.
When they finally found her, the sight shocks them. She was sitting under a tree in a catatonic state and was bleeding from her hand, the second razor blade thrown a few feet away. Her eyes were closed, like she had just decided to will herself to die there. Her knee was also bleeding through the hole in her jeans where she had fallen.
Cassie reaches out and calls her name. "Come back please." She was trying to reach out to the girl, "Don't let this man win. You have a reason to live, let me help you." Andrew tells Gloria to go get the first aid kit from the car. She comes back with it a few moments later.
"I couldn't stop her Andrew. It happened so fast. By the time I dealt with that man, she was long gone." Gloria was trying to get it all out, this was making her a nervous wreck. Andrew assures her she did her part and to calm down, that they have other matters to get to at the moment.
Turning over her left hand, they found an inch long cut on the back of it. Not serious, but breathed a sigh of relief that it was not the wrist. "Praise God. Let's get this wrapped up. Then the hard part begins." Andrew tells a near hysterical Gloria.
Monica shows up, worried sick and is filled in. "The good news is that he's now in custody. Neighbors had reported a man waving a gun and said he was following somebody. How is she?" Cassie knew then they were sent to help. Her prayer all this time was answered. It truly was the greatest weapon they had in this fight.
Crystal wakes and finds herself in a dark place. The voices that have been there as long as she could remember were there. They took on the forms of cloaked beings with bony hands and long, sharp nails. When they said anything from their mouths, it was like a screeching noise that made fingernails going across a blackboard sound like a Mozart sonata.
Them being there made every negative emotion she had feel intensified. The last thing she remembers was a flash of pain across her hand under a tree before coming to here. Chains appear from nowhere and wrapped themselves around her body, including her throat, severely affecting her ability to scream. Crystal was now hopelessly in their iron grip.
Another of her worst nightmares come to life. Somebody save me, she cries out mentally. Maybe someone can hear her. God, either help me or take me home. Those are your only two options.
The angels had to do something. Then the Father gives Andrew authority to delve into her soul. It was a techinique wasn't used very often, but when done right, it can be very effective. It's where an angel can attempt to help bring a human out of a catatonic-like state from within themselves.
The basic idea is that if someone can't get the message because of their minds being afflicted for some reason, this bypasses the mind and goes straight for the soul. Much like when someone receives a dream from God while sleeping and skips the skeptical, logical mind.
The chances for it working effectively were higher if the angel had already established a bond with the human involved. If this failed, only the Father could step in at that point. When an angel does this, they would also enter into a visual symbolic representation of the human's soul at that moment where anything could happen, so they had to be prepared for any possibility.
For this reason, Andrew was chosen to do this. At the Father's command, he goes in and was disturbed by where he finds himself. A wasteland where anything that lived was rapidly dying, and it begins to rain, clouds blanketing the sky.
The only light came from the flashes of lightning going across overhead, and the thunderclaps hurting his ears it was that loud. He follows the faint path that appears before him. For a symbolic world of a tortured human soul, it certainly seems so real.
He then hears a faint voice. Help me please, It says, and Andrew recognizes it as Crystal's. God, help me. I can't hold on much longer. He sees the path before him grow brighter and follows it.
Walking far, he ends up soaking wet and comes upon a clearing where the storm was originating from. In the center, Crystal was uncontrollable, her rage and pain manifesting itself in this storm. Dodging the thunder, lightning and hail, he manages to reach her. Rain pouring down in sheets, she was soaked to the skin.
The look on her face said it all. She was dying inside and this was symbolic of that. She was hoping one of the bolts would hit, killing her, body and soul. And with those chains wrapping her up, it was bound to happen if something didn't happen soon to stop it. He had to do, say something to try and get this to end. Then the words came to him.
"Crystal, I am an angel sent by God. You have to stop this before you destroy yourself. We have met before, when you were two and again when you were five. Now I've been sent to help you for a third time." It was already loud enough with the storm and he had to shout. When Crystal heard his voice, she became calmer and the tempest eased. Not much, but some, enough for him to get within touching distance of her.
He gives the beings who were holding her hostage a serious look and when they realized they were in the presence of an angel, began to back away, soon vanishing into thin air. The chains around her neck loosened just enough so she could speak. It was like Andrew being there repulsed them. After a few tense moments, she spoke, her voice in a hoarse whisper.
Crystal was livid, her eyes flashing with anger. "Where was God when that man raped me, all the crude remarks came from his lips, and when he moved in on Haley? WHERE WAS HE THEN?" she demanded, "Couldn't He have struck down that excuse of a man with just a snap of His fingers? Spare us all a lot of pain." The storm flared up again, worse this time. The force of the wind pushed him back just out of reach.
Then he found the words to tell her. "He was there, and He wept when all those horrible things happened. It broke His heart and your stepfather will answer for what he's done. As a matter of fact, the police have him in custody right now. He won't bother you ever again."
A moment of clarity crossed her eyes. "Really? They have him?" She asks him. "Yes. He's on his way to jail right now. Actually, the number you did on him is landing him in the hospital, but after that it's jail." Andrew was relieved when she heard that. He could see it in her eyes.
At those words, Crystal knew this wasn't fake. She began to float down to the ground, her chains melting away in the process. He catches her in his arms and drawing her close, she was finally able to freely weep.
The storm suddenly stops and gradually it clears up. "It's going to be okay, let it all out. Let's get you out of here. There's somebody who wants to see you back."
Crystal then looks down and sees something start to come up from the ground where they stood. It was a small flower, still unopened. "That symbolizes a new start." Andrew tells her. Then everything changes.
Crystal comes back to the real world and the first person she sees was Cassie, who was relieved to see her little sister back. After giving her a big hug, suggests they get out of there. "Let's get back to our place, it looks like a big storm is brewing up." Everyone agrees and after what just happened, it was the right thing. The bottom fell out just as they get back and it rained all evening and night.
The next day, the sun shined and she was starting to be more like herself. Her stepfather was in jail with no bond, and her mother had filed for immediate divorce from him, the wound on her hand had stopped bleeding. There would be a scar of course, but it didn't matter, she survived.
Andrew hated to leave Crystal, he had grown quite fond of her, they both knew it. They had a picnic at a nearby park with Monica, Gloria, and Cassie. It was there she he told him something in confidence.
"Andrew, last night I had a dream. I dreamed I was standing on a beach. I remember where it was because I would go there as a kid. Looking out over the ocean, I suddenly was taken up and flew across the ocean. When I landed, there was a lion with a fountain pen in its mouth before me.
"It was tame. Reaching out, it was dropped into my hand. Then I saw the Union Jack flying over a city, it was draped in lights and somehow knew where I was. Then the last thing I see, the lion transforms into a man, red haired and with blue eyes, reaching his hand out to me. What does that mean?" She asks Andrew.
"I don't know. But it seems to me it may be a vision of the future. Ever have dreams like this before? Maybe you should look into that kind of thing." He says. "Yes, I've had them in the past. But usually they're warning ones." Crystal tells him, "Already doing some research into that whole thing."
"Maybe you may be able to drop by to watch the trial if you're able. Who knows, we may run into each other again." Andrew shrugs, "Maybe. Also, I am the one you've been chatting with online, 'Andy37'? Or should I call you X-77?" He gives a wink and a smile.
Soon it would be time for them to leave and sent somewhere else to do their Father's bidding. It was hard to say goodbye for the angels and the two humans who they had grown so fond of. Cassie and Crystal watched as the red Cadillac drove off. Things were starting to look up after all for the two friends.
But Andrew had a feeling the three of them would see her again...
The End
