Tyson's Brilliant Plan
Emziie
A/N: This is my FIRST and possibly ONLY attempt at humor. The plot isn't great, the grammer is certainly not spectacular, this was just a warm up to starting my big multi-chpater story The Ladies Man which will be posted within the next few weeks I hope... Please enjoy! And Review!
Oh, and italics are used for emphasis and nothing else. Now enjoy & review!
"Hilary! Please!" I begged, grabbing onto her arm dramatically and clinging to it for dear life. I may be world champion, but I never said I wouldn't resort to groveling.
"Tyson! This is… ridiculous! You are ridiculous!" She screeched. Ugh. Why did I have to ask Hilary of all people for a favor? Why, dear God, why?
"C'mon! We've been friends for years. You can't do me one little favor? Help a guy out?" I whined, looking at her with my sparkling puppy-eyed look. She looked up at the ceiling for a moment, sucked in a deep breath, and let it out dramatically as she looked back down at me. And she says I'm the drama queen-KING? Drama king? Yeah. Pfft. I don't think so.
"Fine, Tyson. Only because I think you have a point and would make the cutest couple." Hilary shook her head at me. I mean, it's not like I'm asking her to organize a parade for me here. Or fly me to the moon. Or wrestle a grizzly bear. I am just asking that she play my girlfriend to make Kai jealous.
Now that I think about it… That does sound pretty bad.
Did I ever mention how much I love Hilary?
"You're the best, Hil! I mean, baby!" I said and grinned at her. She cringed. Psh, bitch… I would be ecstatic to date myself!
…Does that sound a little conceited?...
Moving right along….
"Could we only use that… that, word, when the target is around?" She said with this odd look of horror.
"The… target? What am I, a sniper?" I asked her, playfully punching her in the shoulder and getting a good sock on my left arm in return.
Ouch. I forgot about that right hook of hers.
"You know what I mean. I don't know if this will work, Tyson… I mean really… Could we be a little more cliché here?" She asked dryly, sitting down on my bed and staring at her feet.
"You're a teenage girl, Hilary! Aren't you? You're supposed to love this stuff." I say and glance at her. She glares at me… Typical.
"I am going to forget you ever said that. You don't think Max will be upset if we're "dating" though, right?" Hilary asked. Yeah, I guess I do feel a little guilty. Hilary has a huge crush on him.
"Nah! Maxie is fine with anything!" I grin and look at the clock. "He isn't the jealous type though." I finish, thinking about Maxie. Max had been my best friend on the team, basically (That really depends if you count Kenny though!)… He'll understand. He's pretty chill. You know… For an American…
"Alright Tyson. I'm trusting you on that one." She said, giving me a serious look of I-know-where-you-live.
"I'm ready to go get my Grammy. To practice!" I say and hook an arm around hers, dragging her up from the bed and off towards the back of the dojo.
Everyone was late.
Really late.
To practice, I mean. It really ruined my plan, man.
I had it all set up so they would "walk-in" on an intimate hug between Hilary and myself. Instead, I ended up awkwardly hugging/clinging/smothering Hilary and pretending to look deeply into her eyes for over twenty minutes. Of course, the guys arrived exactly 21 minutes late.
Dammit, universe. I will kill you…. I will kill you dead…
"Tyson!" Ray yelled from a good 10 feet away. First, he's late. Then, he yells at me…
"What?" I snap back, glaring at the Chinese blader who ruined my plan.
"Dude you're zoning out like every ten seconds…" Ray said more quietly. That's right, mister. You quiet right down.
"Tyson! Your blading isn't even comparable to your statistics!" Kenny shrieked in his usual girly-voice. It's so... shrill!
"I have a lot of my mind." I say as mysteriously as possible… You could say I was channeling my very sexy man-crush, Kai. But you know, no one is as mysterious and pouty as Kai Hiwatari.
And I like him that way!
"Oh?" Ray said, raising an eyebrow and giving me a smirk. What the hell is that supposed to mean, Ray? Huh?
"That's right. Isn't it, Hilary?" I glance at her as slyly as I can.
Oh yes, Tyson Granger is sly one today. And referring to himself in third person. Oh yes.
"Huh?" She asks, looking up from staring at Kenny's laptop displaying my "not-even-comparable statistics".
"I have a lot on my mind." I said, widening my eyes firmly and trying to hint that she was supposed to mention our relationship… I gave her a quick nod. At this point, it doesn't seem to be working.
"Oh… That's…. That's right! You do! So much on your mind! Me too!" She agrees, nodding her head quickly and glancing between Max, Ray, and Kai as she does it. Oh thank the Gods. Hil, you always do come through…
"Ok, Tyson. You can tell us now, I know you want to." Max said and rolled his eyes, tucking his beyblade in his pocket and clasping his hands together, giving me an expectant look.
I take a deep breath… This one is gonna be a doozey…
"Me and Hilary are in love!" I declare, thrusting a fist into the air and putting the other over my heart, freezing in my dramatic pose.
And then…
Silence.
"Hilary and I." Kai corrected smugly.
…
More Silence.
…
I don't know if the lack of sound is more alarming, or the completely confused expression on everyone's face…. Except for, you guessed it, Kai. That sexy bastard is just sitting there, looking at me like I'm an idiot. You know, which is normal for him.
Ahhh shit. This may be one of Tyson Granger's duller moments. Tyson Granger who is AGAIN referring to himself in third person in his mind…
"That's… Awesome guys." Max said, giving a thumbs up. He's smiling but it's the I'm-a-good-friend smile not the I'M-SO-HAPPY smile he usually wears around.
"Y-yeah." Ray agreed, nodding. He had one eyebrow raised still, and was studying Hilary intently.
"Yeah, so, sorry ladies of the world. Tyson Granger is taken!" I say enthusiastically as possible, trying to make it convincing. I even ran over to Hilary, throwing an arm around her shoulders and grinning. She sunk down a little under my arm.
Hmph!
"I think the ladies of the world will be relieved." Kai smirked at his own sarcastic comment. "We don't have time for this. We should be training." The captain finished, glaring at me specifically. When no one moved, "Move it." Kai barked, he's so bossy!
"Did someone forget their happy pill this morning?" I asked in the most obviously sarcastic voice I could muster. He crossed his arms, shaking his head and flaring his nostrils. That certainly answered my question…
"Let's see how funny you are after a 3 mile jog. You're back here in 15 minutes or you're doing it again." Kai stated. That bastard! That sexy bastard!
"Kai!" I protest, he just smirks again.
"Your time started 10 seconds ago." He smiled. A cynical, wicked smile of a team captain all-too-pleased with himself.
Damn, he's some hot stuff though!
I should really get running…
6 miles and an hour later, I am clearly on my way to death. Kai has officially tried to indirectly murder me with physical exhaustion.
"Tyson! Get up, you oaf!" Hilary barked in my ear. Ouch, girl. You're supposed to love me… Or at least act like it.
"Mhhmggghhffmmm…." I mumble. It made sense to me, but from the look Hilary is giving me, I didn't enunciate quite enough to her liking. "I'm too tired to move." I force out, quite happy in my position mimicking a wet blanket on the floor.
"Tyson, I've seen you run 10 miles with the promise of food at the other end. Get up… Sweetie." She said, practically hissing, but obviously trying to act like she cares.
"Your love gives me strength!" I cried and jumped up, grinning and hugging Hilary as she growled and sputtered like an angry cat.
"Could you guys do that less? It's still kind of weird." Max said awkwardly, looking at us with an unreadable expression.
"Yeah. Get a room." Ray added, tinkering with Driger and shaking his head.
"They just can't understand our love, sweetie-pie-honey-bunch!" I said and smiled at Hilary. Her glare was… frightening, at best.
"Of course." She said, her jaw locked and her voice forced… She really wasn't very convincing. Am I the only one trying in this (fake) relationship? I'm offended!
"We're done for today." Kai said, leaning against a wall of the dojo with his arms crossed. I love it when Kai acts all aloof. It's so nifty how he can look like he's totally oblivious and be totally not oblivious at the same time.
The boy had talent (I just hope he has lots of talents).
Ahem.
"Thank you, Oh Merciful Captain Kai!" I said to him, giving him my best grin. He just huffed and rolled his eyes. Again, normal for him.
I glanced at Hilary, suddenly coming up with a brilliant idea to make Kai really really jealous…
"So guys, it's been real, BUT, I need some time with my lady." I said looking at Hilary. The look she gave me was priceless. If I had only had a camera…
"Tyson!" Kenny screeched. That voice! It's so shrill! My God! He looks at me pointedly. Hilary was still giving me a shocked expression. Shocked like a predator is shocked that it's prey would dare hiss at it before it got its jugular ripped out. Something along those lines.
"Okay man." Ray said, looking a little uneasy. What? Is it that weird? Me and Hil are supposed to be dating after all!
Kai snorted and then left promptly. Ray, Max, and Kenny filed out a few minutes later, saying their goodbyes. I had an arm slung around Hilary's waist as they left, we were very convincing if I do say so myself.
"Tyson Granger." Hilary began as soon as the guys left. "You are such an idiot." She said, pointing a finger right in my face.
"I… Uh… Disagree?" I smiled, nothing went wrong today (Minus the whole "intimate hug" dilemma. That can be quickly forgotten.).
"That was so embarrassing!" She said in this bitchy and completely exasperated voice.
"I think it went quite well. Flawless, even" I said and smiled at her.
"You need some time with your lady? Where do you get this stuff? You are turning out just like Gramps!" She sighed, rubbing her temples like I'd done something headache worthy in the last 10 minutes. Which I hadn't.
"Gramps? I am not! I'm cool! I'm hip!" I say, defending myself. How dare she compare me to Gramps… I am nothing like Gramps… Psssssh.
"Tyson- you are just like Gramps." Hilary said, crossing her arms and sticking her hip out to the side, looking completely bitchy (A running theme perhaps?) and really starting to piss me off.
"Hilary! I thought you were trying to help me get Kai, not make me feel like I'm a crazy old bat." I say to her, she rolls her face and then pales suddenly looking behind me. Shit! Did I just say that in front of Gramps? Oh man… Here comes the whack on the head…
"Why would you want to get Kai?" A dark and familiar voice asked from behind me. I spun around faster than any beyblade could spin- and was suddenly facing my very handsome team captain. My very handsome team captain whose expression had the tiniest trace of confusion laced with the otherwise overwhelming indifference.
"K-kai? I thought you were going home?" I asked blankly, I could feel my palms begin to sweat.
"It would appear I didn't." He replied coolly. Hilary took a few steps so she stood next to me, but she was really the least of my worries at this point.
"Uhm yeah." I said dumbly, feeling completely caught red-handed.
"I'm going now. See you tomorrow guys." Hilary says, I can just hear the amusement in her voice, the self satisfaction. Argh! Why me?
"Hilary—" I started but she had already walked out briskly.
I stood there, facing Kai, for a long time. I stared at the ground, but I could feel him looking at me. It was beginning to cool off, probably because the sun had just set, and was getting chillier. I wasn't complaining though- my cheeks haven't been this red since I got the birds and the bee's talk from ole' Gramps.
"Tyson." Kai said flatly. I looked at him reluctantly, and then decided it better to look back at the ground. Kai can be a very scary person to be confronted with. The thing about Kai is that you can never really tell what he's thinking. Because he sure as Hell ain't gonna tell you.
"Yes?" I squeaked. Dammit, voice, be manly!
"What did you mean by "Get Kai?" Kai asked bluntly. Typical Kai, never beating around the bush… I like him that way!
"I have no knowledge of what you are referring to." When accused of having a gay crush on the captain of your Beyblading team and all else fails, deny, deny, deny!
"…Tyson, do you like me?" Kai asked. Shit! I felt my throat tighten and my stomach drop at that one. It's not like I could lie at this point.
The truth will prevail!
"Like as in have a crush on you? That's probably… you know, it." I said awkwardly, looking at Kai. Ugh. This sucks. It's like every second that ticks by is making me feel more and more embarrassed and sick and…
"I know." Kai said softly. His eyes looked different now, less deadly and more honest. Like he almost, actually, might not kill me. Oh Halleluiah.
"You know?" I asked, what exactly does he know?
"Yes." Kai replied. Could he really just give me a straight answer? I'm dying here!
"And what exactly do you know?" I asked as quietly as I possibly could. I knew Kai could hear me, but I almost didn't want him to.
"Hilary told me." Kai said and smirked. I mean, really smirked. I saw red, how dare Hilary? I tell her one of my biggest secrets and she goes and tells Kai? What the hell?
"She WHAT!" I said, looking at the ground and chewing on my bottom lip. "She promised she wouldn't tell anyone…" You know, for being a pretty simple guy, I was beginning to feel really betrayed here.
"She told me after," Kai paused, taking a few slow steps towards me until we were face to face. I looked up at him, he wasn't particularly tall but he was a solid 3 inches taller than me.. Enough to have to look up at him a little. If I weren't so pissed right now, I might think this is romantic. My heart, on the other hand, is still beating like a wild bunny. Shit, I'm so nervous. "I told her that I loved you." He finished.
Brain not computing.
Information does not compute! Error! Lies!
Kai cannot be in love with me. Cannot, will not, impossible… Is he mocking me?
"Tyson, stop thinking for a second." Kai said impatiently, reaching out and picking up my left hand. He stared at the joint between us, running this thumb softly over my knuckles.
Oh, shivers! Happy shivers! Happy horny teenage boy shivers!
"I said that I love you." Kai said simply, looking me in the eye like he was somewhat…
Nervous? Perhaps!
"Oh. Well, Kai… I uhh…. Love you too." I say and smile at him. He takes the opportunity to lean down and kiss me, my entire body was livewire as he did. I don't think I've ever been so happy.
I'll have to thank Hilary for this one!
A/N: Well there you have it. It's short, it's not really my best work, but it is my first attempt at humor at all. Tell me if I failed so I won't do it again xD.
Read, Review, Receive love from Emziie.