Chapter 1- Are you gay?

Her hands held herself up as she leaned over the counter studying her tired haggard expression. She looked horrible. Her blue eyes were dull after the many years running from the law. Her bottom lip was slightly swollen from his glove connecting with it a few days ago. At least the bruise around her neck had finally started turning yellow. She let out a sigh. Her eyes fell from the crack mirror down to the sink. Containers of makeup covered the counter with a dirty washcloth. She picked up her white powder. She preferred the powder to the itching of the paint. She dipped her brush into the white then began quickly patting her face hiding any sign of abuse. In a matter of seconds, she looked as pale as the flaking white wallpaper behind her. She then reached for the black eye shadow. She dabbed her brush into it before applying it on her eye. She covered her entire eye then traveled it up above her eyebrow and down to her cheek forming two points. Once she was done it looked like she had two black diamonds as eyes with a blue reflective center. She then grabbed her black lipstick and layered it along her red ones. With one pluck of her lips she rubbed it in. She finally smiled at herself revealing her perfect white teeth that reflected nicely with her now very white skin.

The smile quickly fell though. Her blond hair fell into her face, and she lacked the initiative to pull it up into two pigtails. Instead she glanced at the door to the bedroom. It was empty. He hadn't been there when she woke up. After three years, she wasn't surprised. He was probably at his desk thinking up another scheme to attract Batman's attention. It was always about Batman…

She decided to go check on him just in case. She walked out of the bathroom and through the dark bedroom. She cracked open the door to the living room of the dumpy apartment. Bosco and the others weren't there. They had probably been sent to pick up more supplies. Her eyes caught the attention of the light seeping through the cracks from the room across the way. Yes, the Joker was scheming. She frowned slightly as she headed to the kitchen that was right next to the living room. Her bare feet touched the cold tile floor causing her body to shiver under his large blue pattern button down shirt she wore. She went to the fridge and opened it to reveal only a few items. She needed to go to the store soon. She reached for the carton of eggs and pulled it out. There were only two left, but it would be enough for the Joker. She grabbed a pan from the cupboard and quickly lit the stove. As she broke the egg on the edge, she thought about her life.

She had once been a top psychiatrist, and even came up with a respected psychoanalysis report on the Joker (well not respected anymore). She understood the way her Puddin thought unlike the rest of Gotham, and she had fallen in love with him. Yes, it was uncalled for, but not only did she understand him, he understood her. She had no regrets when she helped him escape. She had no regrets when she helped him kill. She had no regrets when he first hit her. She had no regrets when she committed three years of her life to his ideas. But…

She thought of the other night. Her consciousness was coming back to her slowly as she lay thrown about on the ground. She saw a tall dark man in a cape holding a man in purple up against the wall.

"Don't you see! They're not like us!" she recognized her Puddin's voice coming from the red smile.

"I won't continue to play this game with you Joker," a deep throaty growl escaped the dark cape.

She slowly rolled her body over feeling a wave of nauseous. She tried to fight it back. She had to fight it back in order to save him from Batman.

A high-pitched laugh that could only belong to her love echoed through the abandon warehouse they were at. "As long as we're both alive," he stressed the word, "I don't think you have a choice!"

The Batman just let out a deep growl, and she thought she saw his fist impact with the Joker's white jaw. The Joker only laughed more. "Unless…" she heard a smack of the lips, "You have finally decided to throw away those illogical morals of yours."

She used her palm to push herself up into a sitting position. Neither of the men noticed her. They were two focused on one another.

Her Joker laughed again. "I don't understand why you lower yourself to their standards when their standards are your cage! Don't you see I'm trying to help you!" he said with as close to a sincere voice she knew he had. She couldn't understand where the caring had come from. She couldn't understand why he cared if the Batman got help or not...her Joker didn't care if the rest of Gotham understood why would it matter if the Batman did.

She blinked for a moment the scene finally becoming clear. His eyes. His deep brown eyes looked into the cape crusader's hoping to find something. She had never seen that look before. She had never seen that hope…for…happiness? It made her uncomfortable.

"I don't need your sick help!" Batman growled hitting him once again in the face.

But the attack didn't make her cringe…it was the look in the Joker's face. He looked back up at the Batman with a real smile. A real smile that the Joker barely even gave to her, but a smile that she was certain she seen him give the Batman on quite a few occasions. It almost looked caring. "Dearest Batz, that what you think," he said soothingly.

Batman and her Joker just continued to stare at each other creating an immense amount of tension that even she felt from the ground. Finally the Joker shrugged (well as much as he could shrug under the grip of the Bat). "I guess more lessons are in order! A few more well place explosives might get your ah- ticker thinking," he said causing the Batman to growl again then throw him across the room away from her. The Joker's laugh filled the room again as Batman attacked him.

She couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't the abuse her Puddin was handling, but it was his laugh. He was so happy! So unbelievably happy! He never was that happy with her. He never laughed like that with her! He only laughed in front of the Batman. He only showed a sincere smile in front of the Batman! He only cared about what the Batman thought! She saw the iron bar next to her. She quickly grabbed it. She walked gracefully over to the Bat who was beating the Joker on the ground. Then with all her force she slammed the bar into the back of Batman's head. The Batman's movements stopped immediately as his form slumped over and collapsed to the ground. He was out.

She smiled a wide grin as she looked down at the Joker's confused expression. "Hiya Puddin! Need a hand?" she said holding out her hand.

He looked at her then down to the Bat then back at her. His black circle eyes finally narrowed before he pushed himself off the ground. He didn't speak to her, and it felt like a shot in the heart. He turned away and started heading to the exit. "Let's go," he stated coldly.

"Puddin? Why don't we kill him?" she asked his form that had reached the door.

She watched as his body tensed up. His makeup covered face turned to her with utter rage. She had seen that face a few times in the years, and knew what it meant. Before she could hide, he was already in front of her swinging his fist at her face.

She licked the bottom of her swollen lip again as she looked at the fried egg on the pan. She wasn't stupid. Far from it actually. She slid the egg off the pan and onto of the other fried egg on the plate. She grabbed the plate and fork and turned to the direction of his office door. She quietly pushed the door open and saw his greasy pile of green hair leaned over his desk. He was drawing something. From the pile of crumple of papers in the trashcan, he had been at it for a while. She watched in silence for a few moments. It caused her heart to flutter. She loved how determined he was, but then her heart panged in knowing it was over the Batman. He…he…he loved the Batman. She knew he did. The look in his eye, the smile on his face, the laughter, and everything else he did pointed his love towards the Batman. She didn't want to be right…and for that reason she had to know. She had to make sure before she...left him.

He must have felt her eyes on him because he sat straighter before turning the chair to face her. "Hey Harley-gal, what-cha doin' up so early?" he asked with a small smile that melted her heart.

His sleeves were rolled up on his arms showing some of his muscles. His green vest was button tightly, and squeezed nicely around his lean form. He was so beautiful. It made her ache. She wanted to squeak and run into his lap, but she stayed at the door. "I made you breakfast, Puddin," she said with a forced small smile.

He smirked. His red lips scrunched up at the scar before he nodded, "And who says ah- criminals can't live normal lives." He then turned his chair back to his desk as he pointed with his purple glove hand where to put the plate.

As if being told to perform a trick by her master, she quickly walked over to his desk and put the plate exactly where he pointed. He kept writing like the plate of food hadn't even been put there. She didn't move though. She lingered there and played with the edge of her shirt (his shirt to be correct). She had to bring it up. She had to ask him if… She had to know. She had to know if his feelings for her were all a facade. She needed to know.

He must have noticed her lingering because he put his pencil down and twirled the rolling chair to face her again. "Something bothering you, sweetcheeks?" he asked as his one hand grabbed the fork.

She eyed the fork carefully thinking of all the ways he could use it as a weapon. She took a deep breath calming her nerves as she nodded her head.

His eyes study her for a moment. "So speak," he ordered as he dipped his fork into the eggs and brought a piece to his mouth.

Her heart rate had jumped as her breathing became a bit heavier. She would make this quick…like ripping off a band-aid. "Puddin…I just need to know," she paused looking over his features that seemed like they were more focus on his food then her. He took another bite and then she said quickly, "Are you gay?"

He started coughing immediately as the piece of egg went down the wrong windpipe. He slammed his fork onto the table as his other hand went to cover his mouth. Harley felt scared that he might die so she quickly went to his side to pat his back. He only held out his hand to stop her so she stood back. After a few moments of coughing, he finally took in a deep breath.

She felt relief, but not for long. He quickly turned a cold glare onto her. A frightened shiver traveled down her spine. "Why Dollface would that little ah- idea pop," he said popping his lips, "into your head?" His words were cold and angry.

She took a deep calming breath as she stepped cautiously back. "Well uh. It's just…"

"Just what?" he asked standing from his chair taking a step closer to her, "Been sleepin' with the same girl for the past three years makes me gay?"

Aw so he did know how long they were dating. The happy thought quickly fell out of her mind as he took another threatening step towards her. "Am I supposed to be cheatin' with a bunch of other bimbos. I mean I could ah- do that for you of course, Harl," he said with a mischievous grin.

"No. No," she said quickly hating the idea of him with another girl, "It just you and Batman," she said in a hurry stopping herself from saying more.

He stopped moving. His face went blank as if her words confused him. Her body felt on edge waiting for some physical response, but it never came. Laughter filled the room as the Joker bent over holding himself up with his knee.

She let out an uneasy chuckle as he continued to laugh until he slowly stopped. "Come here," he waved her over. She carefully stepped on the wooden floor towards him where he wrapped his arm around her shoulder. He pressed his forehead against her own as his deep brown eyes stared into her blue ones. "No Harl I'm not gay," he told her with a large stretched grin, "Batz ah- different."

Her eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. What did that mean? "So you don't love the Batman?" she tried to clarify.

He pulled his forehead a way from hers and waved his hand to the sky. "Of course I love him, Harl!" he pronounced loudly to the world, "He made me!"

Her face crutched together in pain as her heart felt torn with the statement. His eyes must have caught it because she felt both of his hands grab her shoulders. "Okay Dollface," he said looking straight into her eyes again, "I'm gonna explain this once so you don't mope around."

She nodded obediently. The Joker waited until he believed he had her undying attention. "You love your mother, right?" he asked.

She nodded again. "Why you do love your mother? There isn't really a reason too since you haven't spoken to her in years, but you do right?" he continued.

She nodded. "Okay, well it's because your mother ah- gave you life. Well the Batman is like that for me. He gave me life and a purpose. If there wasn't a Batman there wouldn't be a point for a Joker. Got it?" he asked again.

She nodded again, but didn't fully understand.

He smirked. "Good. Now skedaddle I got work to do," he said pushing her towards the door. She almost tripped on her own feet, but caught herself. She glanced back for a moment and saw he was back in his chair. The Batman gave him purpose...

She thought about why people got married. It was because their life meant nothing without that person. They got married because the other one gave their life meaning. That was what love meant. She felt the Joker gave her life meaning, but she didn't give him meaning. A small frown appeared on her face. The Joker might have compared it to a parental love, but Harley knew the truth. He loved the Batman. She walked outside of the door shutting it quietly.

She couldn't be with him. She could never be with him as long as the Batman existed. It was a sad fact, but true. She would always be second.

"Goodbye Mistah J, I love you," she said softly then headed to her room to pack.