Headset
It was definitely a bad idea to make a drunken bet with Rukia on that birthday party of his. And losing it too.
Next morning she gave him this thing they call a "headset" and asked to wear it all the time. It was somehow connected to his phone and received all the calls that were made, transferring them to a little earplug. And he had to wear it the whole day. But never make it obvious.
Ah, easy enough, he thought. Just hide his ears under bandana.
Until she called him in the middle of the training with Chad and Urahara.
- Abarai-san, are you okay?
Of course he is not! Old man, you of all the people should know how difficult it is to concentrate when a certain woman you lo… like is telling you how she is licking down your… So, what was it? Aha, bankai…
- Renji? You still there? Now, in process, my fingers are running along the lines of your tattoos, slightly scratching…
Argh!!! Zabimaru, roar!
- Abarai-san, you look rather flushed…
- Head…ache. Yeah, I have a headache. I think I'll go get some fresh air.
He stumbled out of the training basement just to find Rukia holding her phone with one mischief smile.
- Renji, I think I'll call back later...
- You… you…
Her suddenly grabbed her by her arm and lifted her.
- You and me…
He looked around searching for something.
- …Closet. NOW.
In the park nearby a group of shinigami stared at the phone. Last thing they could hear was a giggly squeal of captain Kuchiki's sister.
- Matsumoto, how do you think, do they know that this is NOT a closed line?