*John's POV*
I don't see why he would've jumped. I told him that I would always be there for him. Did he not trust me?
The second he hit the ground, I felt my heart split in two. I guess he didn't have the feelings for me that I had for him. I can't help but think that this whole situation is all my fault. It's only been a year since this whole scene happened. It feels like it was just yesterday though. I think about it everyday. I see him fall. I hear our phone conversation all the time. That was the last time we said goodbye.
I sit in the kitchen of our flat that has fallen apart over the past year. I feel the tears streaking my face, like a stream of guilt and sadness. I've been alone for such a long time. When my old friend left, he took me with him. The only time I left the flat was when I needed something, like food or new clothes. Some people try to talk to me, and flatter me with foolish compliments. Some even ask me why my blog hasn't been updated. I usually just brush them off and keep walking. It's no longer possible for even the slightest smile to appear on my face.
What's the point in living when there's nothing that can make you happy? Is that how Sherlock felt? Did I not please him? He was everything to me, and I never knew how fast you can lose everything until it's too late. Maybe I didn't talk him out of jumping good enough. What if he never really liked me, but he kept me around to pay for the flat?
I'm starting to feel a bit hungry. I get up to look for food. We're all out. I don't want to leave though. It's cold outside, and I want to stay warm. Mrs. Hudson stopped coming by three months ago. It'd be awkward to talk to her anyways. She acts like it's my fault why Sherlock ended his life that day. Maybe it was mine. I get up to put on my coat, and I head out on the streets of London.
I went to the place Sherlock and I first went when we met. The waiter mistook us as a couple. Secretly, I kind of wished we were. I sat at the table we sat at, and I looked at the menu. My stomach was growling, but I couldn't find anything that pleased me. Eventually, I ordered something random off of the menu. When the food arrived, it seemed tasteless. I ate it anyways, and to my surprise, it tasted pretty good.
After I payed for dinner, I started to walk home. I ran into Molly on the way.
"Oh, good evening, Mr. Watson. It's been a while, hasn't it?" She tried to start a conversation.
I looked at her, and I could she that she, too, was still in pain from the tragedy last year.
"Good evening, Molly. It has been... a long time." I manage to say.
"Yeah..." She looked down. "I-I should probably go, you know, my boyfriend-"
"Oh, yeah. Don't want to keep him waiting. It was nice meeting up with you." I said.
She looked up, tears threatening to fall down her eyes. She said, "Do you still miss him?"
I looked down, deep into her eyes. "Yes, I do... All the time."