Dating Advice

by Kadi

Rated K

Disclaimer: I only wish that it was my sandbox. Instead, I just enjoy visiting it... quite often!

A/N: This was requested by lontanissima and Julia. I do hope it rises to the occasion... Based on the end scene for Episode 4x03; the prompt was, what if the good and friendly Judge Grove got a date out of Sharon?

"Need you." Those were the first words out of her mouth when he met her at the small coffee stand a few blocks over from the PAB. It was probably not the best way to greet someone with whom you were on the precipice of beginning a romantic relationship, but by the time that he joined her, she had managed to work herself into a frenzy.

Sharon wasn't even completely sure how she had ended up in her current predicament, but she was there, and she needed help untangling herself from it. When she ran through a list of possibilities in helping her to get out of it again there was really only one name that stuck out. She had to discard the others for varying, important, and very valid reasons.

They were all reasons that she would get into if necessary, but at the moment she was most focused on her situation and the man in front of her. Sharon wrapped a hand around his arm and pulled him around the coffee cart to stand nearer the building that it was positioned in front of him. She asked him to join her here because waiting to talk to him wasn't an option and neither was discussing her problem in the office. Especially not after speaking with him, at length, on two separate occasions in the last two weeks about the necessity of keeping their personal relationship out of their working environment.

She was probably pushing the envelope of that right now, considering that she called him away from work to discuss something personal, but she could satisfy her professional requirements by reminding herself, and him if needed, that she had another fifteen minutes before she was actually due back in her office and he was due a break. Sharon knew that he would have been delaying his next break just for the opportunity to be able to question her about how the meeting with Judge Grove had gone. Well, he was about to find out, for the most part. She would classify this under both of those categories and they would be covered. It didn't really matter. She absolutely had to talk to him and right in that exact moment.

His initial response was concern. Sharon was fidgeting and visibly anxious about something. He knew that she had just come from her meeting about Rusty's Vlog. His brows drew together into a frown. "Is everything okay? Rusty can't be in trouble for interviewing Slider, right? It wasn't a great move, but it wasn't a bad one either. The kid didn't know..."

"No." Sharon waved off his concerns. "That's fine. Judge Grove actually didn't mind the footage. He's going to allow Rusty to continue with his Vlog, under certain conditions that I won't get into right now. He will need to be more careful in the future, but that situation is resolved. This has nothing to do with Rusty." She reached up and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "I need your help." Now that she had arrived at the moment of asking, Sharon was beginning to have doubts about this. Maybe he was not the right person to approach with this. In fact, it could be the worst idea that she had in recent memory. "I need you to help me get out of a date."

Andy's brows shot up. His jaw dropped open. He stared at her. For a moment he thought that his mind was playing tricks on him. It wasn't possible that he heard those words come out of her mouth. Yes, it was possible that she was asking him for help, but he must have heard her wrong. It must have been the fact that he was thinking of asking if she wanted to go out later that was the reason his mind had substituted the word date for what she had really said. Andy did a mental rewind and went over her statement again. On review he realized that he was correct the first time. He shook his head at her. His surprised response might have been a little too strong, but that didn't stop him throwing his hands at her. "You were only gone an hour!"

Sharon started to reply, but when the underlying meaning of his statement hit her, she stopped. Her mouth snapped shut and she stared at him. A single brow arched. "What is that supposed to mean?" Her eyes narrowed. "Is there some reason that you believe it should take me longer to find a date, if I was inclined to do so?"

He shot a bland look at her. "Considering that you don't usually go trolling for dates in the middle of a workday, I'm going to go with yes." He pointed a finger at her. "But not for the reason that you're trying to imply."

She made a face at him. Sharon decided that she would let that go. He did have a point, she was only away from work for an hour and this wasn't how her workday typically went. "Yes, alright," she conceded. "We don't have a lot of time. We both have to get back. I need you to call me tonight, while I'm out with Tom, so that I can leave dinner before anything awkward occurs," she explained calmly. It seemed the best and most rational course of action to her. Her work schedule could be rather sporadic and plans were often cancelled. It wasn't a stretch to think that she would be called out in the middle of a dinner date. This way she could avoid hurting his feelings, and if he asked again... well, she would cross that bridge when or if she had to.

Andy's head fell back. He looked skyward. His arms fell to his sides as he sighed. "Who the hell is Tom?"

"Oh." Sharon ducked her head. She stared purposefully at her hands as she began to pick nervously at her nails. "Well, that..." She hummed thoughtfully. "He's just a friend," she said simply.

He stared at the top of her head. There wasn't a lot that made her nervous, but by now he knew every single one of her tells. "A friend huh?" Andy folded his arms over his chest. He couldn't help the irritation he felt. "Sounds familiar." When he thought about it, she never had any problem telling him no, but let some other guy ask her out, and she needed help getting out of it. His help, to be specific. "Okay, let's see if I've got this right." He waved his hand at her as he spoke, "your friend Tom asked you out, and you said yes. The problem is you don't really want to go, so you want me to help cancel the date." His eyes narrowed. "What am I, your sister?"

"Of course not." Sharon replied, and tried to sound patient with him. Really, what was the problem? She folded her arms across her chest. He sounded upset with her, a fact that she really didn't understand. "I tried to call Helen and she didn't answer." She waved her hands at him. "Andy, focus! Dinner is tonight, he's picking me up at seven. If you call me around seven-thirty, then I should be able to leave before we order. Tom will save face, and it will probably be a while before I see him again, by that point, I may be able to tell him-"

"I don't understand." Andy squinted at her. "Why did you even say yes if you didn't want to go?" He snorted. "Couldn't you just explain that you had other plans?" He watched her face go impassive as she shook her head. Suddenly, he just wanted to yell at her. Andy bit back on the urge and glared. "Here's a thought, why didn't you just explain that you're already seeing someone else?"

She offered him a confused look. "Who?"

Andy straightened. "Right." Although his face flushed a deep shade of red, brought on by anger rather than embarrassment, he schooled it into an almost impassive look. Only the emotion flashing in his dark eyes gave him away. "You may want to try calling your sister again," he said coolly.

Sharon blinked at him. How was it possible to be chilled through by the ice in his statement and the heat of his glare all at the same time? She took a step toward him and laid her hand on his arm. When he shrugged her off, her lips turned down into a slight pout. "Andy," she lowered her voice. "I couldn't possibly tell Tom that I'm seeing someone else, when that someone wasn't available to discuss it with beforehand. I really wasn't expecting this. He blindsided me with that dinner invitation."

"I'm still not clear on how this is my problem," he grumbled. Andy resolved that this time he wasn't going to be swayed by her pouting, sad look. He continued to stare at her. "For the record, the couple of weeks worth of dates that we have been on, and the several months worth of not-quite-but-almost-sort-of-dating that was going on before that, could pretty much qualify as seeing someone just in case it ever comes up again."

"Not when the person asking me out is Tom Grove and the person that I am seeing is you, and that situation has not been reported to my superior officer yet," she said dryly. "See my dilemma?"

"Oh." His brows climbed toward his hairline. "Wait a minute." Andy frowned again. "Grove as in Judge Grove?" His nose wrinkled. "He asked you out?"

"And not for the first time." Sharon sighed. She shrugged. "We're old friends." She pointed at Andy before he could respond. "Just old friends. As long as I was married, putting him off was easy. Now that I'm not, well..." She trailed off with another shrug and a small smile.

Andy snorted. "You might want to explain to him that you're just old friends," he pointed out with a smirk. "I don't think the Honorable Judge got the memo, Sharon."

"Neither did you," she replied, sarcasm sneaking into her tone. "I just happen to actually be interested in dating you, although the reason for that escapes me at the moment." She sniffed. "Are you going to help me or not?"

He ignored her retort. "I don't exactly like the idea of you dating other guys, so I think the obvious answer to that is yes, I'm gonna help." As she began to smile, he pointed a finger at her. "Under one condition." Her eyes narrowed at him, and he knew that he was treading on thin ice, but he ploughed ahead anyway. "You see Taylor about this, by Friday."

Sharon leaned back from him. "You know how I feel about ultimatums," she stated, voice dropping an octave. "I would think, very carefully, before you-"

"What?" He snorted at her. "Sharon, it's not an ultimatum. We're either doing this or we're not, and if we are, then you've got to tell him anyway. The sooner you get it done, the sooner you can stop worrying about doing it. Not to mention the fact that the next time some bozo asks you out, you can just say hey, I'm seeing someone, and not worry about it getting back to your boss."

She sighed. "Yes, okay, I will tell him." The problem was that she didn't want to tell him. Andy wasn't the problem; nothing could be farther from the truth. She simply did not want to have to discuss any part of her personal life at work, and most especially not with Russell Taylor of all people. He was, quite possibly, the biggest gossip in the LAPD. Sharon knew, without a doubt, that the moment she reported this situation it would be all over the department within the hour. She wasn't ashamed of her relationship with Andy, but it was personal; it was private; and it was theirs. It was also very new and she was still very nervous about it. She had never dated within her professional realm before, and on that front, she hadn't dated at all in a couple of decades. Not in the true, romantic sense of the word.

Andy began to relax. "Okay," he said. He still didn't like any of it, and he was wondering how she managed to get herself into this situation in the first place, but if she was willing to take a few steps forward, so was he. "The Honorable Judge Interloper is picking you up at seven. I'm calling at seven-thirty, and you're going to ditch him." Andy smirked. "I'll pick you up at eight, and we can go over to Marcel's." He rocked back onto his heels and his smirk turned into an arrogant grin. "You'll tell Taylor about us, and the next time the Honorable Pain in the ass asks you out, I won't have to act like I'm your sorority sister getting you out of a blind date."

Sharon pinched the bridge of her nose. "Please god, next time let Helen answer the phone," She moaned. When Andy grunted, she smiled at him. "That will suffice, but only if you stop calling him names. Tom really is just a friend, and it's in our best interests for me to remain on good terms with him." She held up a hand before he could protest. "Both professionally as well as personally; not everyone has the same ability to successfully separate the two."

"Uh huh." Andy rolled his eyes at her. "I get it. Keep the judge happy. What, you think I'm new at this?"

"Well I don't know, Andrew." Sharon folded her arms across her chest and regarded him carefully. "Just how often do you date within the workplace?"

"Really?" He shook his head at her. "Sharon, come on. I don't and you know it."

Her lips pursed. She hummed. "Do I?"

"God almighty." He looked heavenward and heaved a loud sigh. "You know, jealous doesn't look all that great on you."

"It isn't exactly a splendid look for you either." She moved around him. "So, seven-thirty?"

"Yeah, alright," he grumbled. "I'll get you out of your date." Andy grinned crookedly. "It's always the quiet ones." He turned to follow her back to the PAB. "The woman doesn't date in thirty years, and suddenly she's juggling two guys at once. Maybe you should pace yourself."

"Maybe you're right," she drawled. "It has been a long time. Know anyone that I can practice with?" She shot a dark look at him.

Andy shoved his hands into his pockets and caught up to her quickly. He strolled along beside her, seeming unaffected by the look. "Well, Provenza is always on the lookout for the next future ex-Mrs. Provenza. To hear him tell it, after the first divorce, all the next ones are a breeze."

Sharon snorted a laugh. "That is something that he would say. You'll have to excuse me if I am unwilling to take dating advice from the serial husband." She slanted a look at him. "While I am at it, I will just add a very definite no."

He laughed. "Well, you asked." Andy nudged her shoulder with his as they walked. "I'm pretty sure that his first piece of advice would have been to not call the boyfriend when some other joker asks you out and you actually agree to go."

"Oh gosh," she said, "what was I thinking?" Sharon shook her head. "I wasn't calling the boyfriend. I was calling my friend. The boyfriend," she clarified, "is picking me up after my very good friend gets me out of this situation."

He frowned at her. "You do know how absolutely insane that sounds, right?"

Sharon smiled widely at him. "It does, doesn't it?" She leaned into his side and let their arms brush as they moved down the sidewalk. "I warned you that I wasn't very good at this," she said quietly.

He watched her look down. Her hair fell to obscure her face. Andy tugged his hand out of his pocket and laid it against the small of her back. "I don't know. You called me to help, even if it was the second call that you made. I'd say that you're doing okay."

"I suppose." The corners of her mouth twitched toward a smile. "Even if you did turn into a jealous buffoon."

"You've been spending entirely too much time with Provenza," he decided.

She laughed. "Imagine what I would sound like if I actually took your very bad advice and began dating him."

"Oh god."

"I don't think that He has anything to do with it," she drawled.

When they reached the end of the block and began to cross the street to the PAB Andy let his hand fall away. "One of these days you're going to have to tell me how it is that you walked into an official meeting with a Judge about whether or not your kid compromised a case, and walked out again with a date."

Sharon shrugged. "The same way I managed to get your attention, I suppose."

"Oh." Andy cast a sideways look at her. "Next time, wear pants to court," he deadpanned.

~FIN