Disclaimer: I don't own anything, blah, blah, blah. :D

"Shane! Stop trying to get into my pants you bastard! Gosh I swear, you are so bad about doing that you Ass-tard!" I yelled at my husband Shane. He such a little freak I swear all he thinks about since we got together is sex. I'm dead serious. Every time I ask him what he wants to do he mentions something about sex. He's such a pervert.

"But Mitch-ieeee, I wanna fuckkkk!" He whined.

"No, Shane! Think of something other than sex for a second! Dammit! You disgust me!" I yelled at him. I swear I'm gonna strangle him one of these days.

"That's not what you yell when were having sex honey." He smirked. The ass has some nerve. I stormed off, it isn't worth it to get into an argument with him, he'll end up losing and then he'll whine like the little baby he is.

I walked upstairs to what would be my baby nursery one day. I hope at least. With all the sex Shane seems to want it'll happen eventually. I just hope I get pregnant soon, it's what I've always wanted, a family to take care of who will rely on me.

I stood in the door way to the room for a while just staring when all of a sudden I felt arms around my middle and a head resting on my shoulder. Shane. "You really want kids don't you hun?" Shane whispered into my ear. I nodded.

"I do, you know that." I whispered back.

"I know how that can happen." He winked. And here I thought he was going to give it a rest, guess not.

"SHANE NO I W-"

"-will have sex with me? Glad you agree!" He cut me off. Gah! I really am going to hurt him. I would cut his little friend off if I didn't want kids, but I do unfortunately. Maybe I'll do what my friend Caitlyn told me she did to her ex… That actually sounds like a good idea.

Want to know what she did? She took his dick and super glued it to his thigh! I laughed so hard when she told me. Everyone who heard about it did too. But he deserved it, he'd cheated on her sooo many times. I think I'm going to do that to Shane.

"-Mitchie! Are you even listening to me?" Shane exclaimed. Opps, I might have spaced out there for a second. Oh well it probably wasn't important anyways. I sighed.

"Yeah yeah, whatever. Wanna have sex now?" I questioned him, knowing he'd shut up and my plan would be easier. I knew he wouldn't say no. His eyes lit up like a child's at a candy store, perfect. He nodded eagerly. I sighed, he is so easy and such a whore.

We slipped into our bed room and engaged into some pretty interesting activities that I shall not tell you about because they are not appropriate for your young eyes.

The Next Morning

I woke up earlier than Shane and went through with my plan, he is such a heavy sleeper that he didn't even wake up or stir once. It was far too easy. I even called Caitlyn, Nate and Jason to come and have breakfast with us, knowing they will get here before Shane wakes up. So far my plan is going amazingly.

The doorbell rang and I ran to get the door knowing it was the guys and Cait. I answered and said hello and hugged them all. This was going to be hilarious, I just knew it.

I was serving everyone breakfast when I heard Shane's girly shriek. "MITCHIE! MY WENNIE IS STUCK TO MY LEG!" He shrieked from our bedroom. Everyone busted out laughing at that, including me of course I was practically rolling on the ground from laughter.

"Mitchie! You didn't?" Caitlyn yelled at me, out of breath. I tried to look as innocent as possible, but I knew she wasn't buying it. I just shrugged knowing she knew what I had done. "You're such a bitch, I love it!" She exclaimed.

"Mitchie!" Shane whined, his voice closer than before. "Stop ignoring me, I know you can hear me!" He whined some more. Then he did something I totally hadn't planned.

He walked into the kitchen completely naked, no clothes whatsoever and his "weenie" as he put it stuck to his right thigh. I laughed even harder than before not being able to contain myself. This was going much better than I had planned. The guys and Cait joined in on my laughing, tears leaked from my eyes from laughing so much.

Shane stood in the doorway covering himself with his hands, his face a bright crimson realizing we had company over. He shot me a murderous glare, and if looks could kill I'd be six feet underground by now. Just looking at his face I busted out laughing even harder.

"I can't believe you Mitchie! Why? Why?" He yelled.

I shrugged "I was bored." I stated simply, which was partly true. By then I noticed everyone had left and stolen my food. Oh well, I knew they were most likely in the basement just hanging out.

2 months later

So I found something out that day while trying to help Shane, superglue is hard to remove from your skin, but it was very funny to see Shane in pain. And after many failed attempts I finally got his 'weenie' removed from his thigh. It was far too hilarious.

Anyways its 2 months later and I think I might be pregnant, which is honestly really exciting and I hope I am. Shane on the other hand is still a whore, but something's just never change.

So I'm currently at the doctor awaiting my results, I hope I am pregnant.

Doctor Sweet walked in and told me to take a seat. "So I have looked over your results Mrs. Gray and it seems you are indeed pregnant, congratulations." She told be a huge smile painted on her face.

6 and a half months later

My water broke in the middle of the night and we are currently on the way to the hospital, Shane is driving like a maniac. At this point though, I don't really care. I yelled and held onto the door as another contraction hit. I can't believe I wanted this, I'm such a fucking moron.

We ran into the hospital, well more like I waddled as fast as I could, but you get my point.

"Push Mitchie, push!" Shane yelled at me. The ass-tard has some nerve to be yelling at me. I swear I'm gonna chop his dick off after this. I'm not even kidding.

"Push Mitchie, just a few more times, I can already see the baby." The doctor instructed me.

I pushed with all my might and as hard as I could.

"THIS CHILD WONT BE A BASTARD!" I yelled at the top of my lungs squeezing Shane's hand so hard I thought I might break it. I could see Shane was trying to keep any emotion off of his face, but I could tell he was in pain.

After a few more pushes I finally heard a baby cry, with one final push I was finally done.

"Congrats guys, you have a beautiful baby girl." She exclaimed. Shane cut the umbilical cord as I lay down again, I was exhausted. I closed my eyes and slowly fell into a peaceful sleep.

I woke up a while later in a different room then the one I was in before. I looked over to the side of my bed and noticed Shane holding our baby girl. He stood up and held her out for me to hold.

"So, what do you want to name her?" He questioned. I smiled, we hadn't known the sex of the baby before hand, but I knew what I wanted to name.

"Charlotte Audrey Gray." I replied easily. "What do you think?" I asked him.

"I love it and I guess she won't be a bastard, huh?" He chuckled lightly. I blushed realizing how bad that had sounded. Oh well I was in pain so I was allowed to do whatever I wanted.

"No, I guess not honey." I sighed, labor might have been horrible, but just looking at my beautiful baby girl I knew it was worth it.

Even if Shane was an Ass-tard and whore most of the time, this pain was worth it.

AN. So this is my new one-shot, hope y'all liked it. I give credit to shewhoshallwrite for the idea and pushing me to actually write it, so this is like a one-shot 'dedicated' to her I guess. lol. Are you happy now Ari? I hope you are. lol. :)

Review please and tell me what you think. ;)

-natalie