Chapter 1

Story is set post "Spoils of War" when Kensi returns from Afghanistan. Kensi turns to the only person who can get her through. No romance.

Kensi was on her way back to Los Angeles with Deeks, Sam and Callen. On the flight home Kensi didn't say a word. Deeks tried to talk to her but she didn't respond. Deeks tried to touch her leg, but she re-coiled. She looked in Deeks direction and she didn't see Deeks as Deeks she saw the faces of the monsters that had held her hostage.

16 hours later the team had arrived back in Los Angeles. They all dis-embarked from the plane. Kensi took in her surroundings for the first time in 6 months. She closed her eyes and took in the sights, smells and sounds of Los Angeles. It was like she was in a trance. She could hear Callen calling her.

"Kens. Kensi?" Said Callen.

Kensi shook herself out of the trance and replied simply. "I'm good."

"You sure? You went through a lot." Said Callen

"You have no idea what I've been through Callen" she thought to herself, but she simply replied. "I'm good."

Kensi grabbed her gear and started walking away. Deeks motioned to go after her. But Sam put his hand across Deeks chest to stop him. "Leave her be Deeks."

Deeks shot a look of concern at Sam. "I need to be there for her Sam."

"I know you do Deeks, but I saw you trying to talk to her on the plane, she didn't respond, you tried to touch her and she re-coiled Deeks. I think something much worse happened to her in Afghanistan that she is saying."

"Are you saying she was raped Sam." Asked Deeks

"I don't know Deeks, or she was beaten. We can't know until she is ready to tell us."

Deeks studied Sam's face. "You think they broke her don't you. I don't mean broke her physically, well I mean they may have broken her physically but you mean they broke her mentally, they pushed her, beat her until she gave in."

Sam remained silent.

"She is my partner Sam. I don't want to see her hurt. I only want to help her heal. I want to try to understand what's going on inside her head. I'm going to be there for her when she is ready to talk. I'm not leaving her behind to go through this by herself." Said Deeks as he picked up his gear walked off.

Callen walked up to Sam. "What was that all about?" He asked.

"Just talking about Kensi and Afghanistan and what she went through."

Callen looked at Sam.

"You think she is holding something back don't you."

"I think she went through a lot more than what she telling us. I think she is trying to put on a strong front. She doesn't want to be seen as weak." Said Sam.

"You think she's going to open up to Deeks?" Asks Callen

"Even if she does G, he can't know what she's going through. He's never been through it."

"But you have Sam. I think the person to get Kensi through this is you."

Over the next couple of days Deeks had tried multiple times to call her, he had been around to her apartment, but she wouldn't open the door or talk to him. He had tried texting her, but all she wanted to do was be left alone.

Callen, Sam and Deeks were at the office. Deeks said "Have you guys heard from Kensi?"

"No" they replied

"I've tried calling, texting, I've even been around to her place, but she doesn't answer anything, the door the phone."

Sam looked at Deeks. He put his hand on his shoulder. "Deeks I know your concerned for Kensi we all are. I can tell you from experience that sometimes the best thing is space to process everything."

"I just want to be there for her you know. I don't want her to go through this alone." Said Deeks.

"She isn't alone Deeks, she has all of us. But I can relate to her better than you and Callen. I'll go and see her and try and talk to her okay."

"Yeah" said a distracted Deeks.

Sam walked over to Hetty. "Hetty I need to take an hour or two, personal time."

Hetty looked at Sam with that Gorgon Stare.

"I want to go and see Kensi, try and get her to open up."

"That's a job for Mr Getz, Mr Hanna." Said Hetty

"With respect Hetty Nate has never been in that situation, neither has Callen or Deeks. I'm the best person to relate to her and get her back on her feet."

Hetty thought for a moment. "Good argument Mr Hanna." She said and smiled.

"Mr Callen" she called out. Callen walked over to Hetty.

"You called Hetty." He said

"Mr Hanna will be unavailable for the rest of day. You will partner with Mr Deeks should any cases arise."

Callen looked at Sam. "I'm going to see Kensi. I can relate to what she has gone through better than you, Deeks or Nate."

Called nodded and Sam left the office on his way to Kensi's.

Kensi was sitting on her lounge in track pants, singlet, jacket. She did her best to get some rest, but she could see her captors faces. She had tried relaxation, meditation but she was only able to get minimal rest.

Suddenly Kensi heard a knock on her door. She picked up her weapon and moved towards the door.

Sam could hear here moving inside. He leant into the doorway and said "Kensi, it's Sam. I know Deeks has been around. He doesn't know I'm here. Deeks, Callen, Nate I know they can't relate to what you've been through. What I have been through. You need to know Kensi that I am here to help you."

Sam started to walk away and then he heard the door open. "Sam"

He saw Kensi standing at the door looking worse for wear. "Sam" She repeated.

"Come in."

Kensi stood aside letting Sam into her darkened apartment.

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