A/N: This is a PARODY, people! It pokes fun at badly written slash fics that some authors can torture us with. That and also I thought I'd have some fun and make the HP characters do ridiculous things. Heehee. Flame all you want! This is a PA-RO-DY! Say it with me! PA-RO-DY! The nickname down there is a fake one I came up with. If anyone else has that nickname, I'm sorry, it was purely coincidental.
Everything in this fic was written purely for fun. And I don't enjoy slash fics in case you wonder.
Disclaimer: Yea, I don't own Harry Potter. Duh!
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The Greatest Slash Fic Ever Written! By slashluver4eva
Harry, Ron and Hermione were walking beside the lake talking about the latest N'Sync CD when suddenly Draco overheard. He walked over to the trio and said, "No way, M*dbl**d! Track number 9 is the BEST!" Then he walked away leaving Hermione very angry indeed. But then Harry said to her, "'Mione, love, let's go find a closet and forget this ever happened at all."
Hermione found this idea very pleasing so she went off with Harry, which made Ron mad. He said, "I'll make Harry pay for that!" Then he walked to the end of the lake and said, "Goodbye, World!" Then he snickered and whispered to himself, "HeeHee, when Harry finds his loyal friend has committed suicide because he can't give a shit to care about him, he'll be devastated!" He started walking into the lake and was almost drownded when suddenly Draco saw and ran to stop Ron.
"No!!!!" Draco cried. "NO!! Weasel!! NO!!! Suicide isn't the answer!!" Then he ran to stop Ron. He grabbed Ron and pulled him out of the lake. Then Ron looked at Draco.
"Draco? You … care for me?" he asked, eyes brimming his tears … or was it the other way round? I can't remember.
"Of course, Weasel! I love the way your flaming hair burns my eyes not to mention another body part of mine…" Draco said while holding Ron's shoulders. Ron smiled knowingly.
"I thought so," Ron said. "Kiss me, Draco and let's make love!"
"Of course, sweetheart!" And with that, Draco carried Ron all the way to his dormitory where they made sweet love for hours on end. They didn't even stop to eat dinner and so the next day they became sick and died.
"Oh, dear, Ron, my loyal friend has died because I can't give a shit," Harry said while putting mascara on for the funeral. "I am devastated." Somewhere in hell, Ron smiled. His plan worked! Why was Ron in hell? Because Draco HAD to go to hell and Ron was supposed to go to heaven but Ron could not stand being without his one true love so he went to hell with him. What a couple!
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I am SO going to get flamed for this. Oh, well…