Hey guys! Welcome to my fanfic! I'll try to make this as loyal to the show as possible, meaning it'll still have offensive stuff and all that black comedy. If my OC's a Mary-Sue, please tell me and I'll take care of her Sue-y stuff. It's mostly Brianna x Kyle, but will have some Brianna x Kenny as well. And some Stan x Wendy too, since I love the couple. :3

No, there will be no yaoi. No, I'm picturing the boys as anime teenagers. They're still the children I like from the satire I love. However, I'm on Season 4 now and I still have a long way to go until Season 19 begins, so I may miss some characters and other things. (However, I heard that Chef died in Season 10, but I'm going to make him alive in this fanfic.) Hopefully, I can get up to Season 18 and finish it.

Even though I'm still on Season 4, I'm going to make this story stay in the present time, just because.

But anyway, I hope you enjoy this. Constructive criticism is welcome, just no hating in the progress. Here we go!

As the last box of a moving van was carried by a really tall black man, the van drove away. The black man dropped the box inside of the new big fancy house he, his white wife, and his two children moved into. His 10-year-old daughter, Brianna, was laying on top of a pile of boxes, sleeping. She had medium-length brown hair, brown eyes, and sandy-ish skin. She was wearing her favorite magenta-colored jacket with a hot pink font saying, "FLORDIAN 4EVER", a dark-blue pair of jeans, and black sneakers.

"Brianna?" he said to her. "Can you help daddy with this box?" She was pretty sound asleep that she didn't hear him. He then yelled, "I SAID CAN YOU HELP DADDY WITH THIS BOX?!"

Brianna shot up from her sleep, wide-awake. "Wha-uh, sure, dad," she replied, unaware of what he asked her. She leaped down from the pile of boxes. Her father gave her the box, which was heavy for her.

"I can always count on you to help out, Briakins," he said as he left.

"Hey! Wait a sec-"

"I'll pay you $5."

The little girl would do anything for chore money, so she carried it to another pile of boxes and set it there. She sighed. Her big brother then appeared. He had Brianna's skin color and eye color, but had poofy golden hair. He's dressed like he's from the Jersey Shore. "Hey Bri," he greeted.

"Oh hey, Matt," she greeted back.

"So, what d'you think? Pretty sweet house we got here."

She shrugged. "Meh. I still like the house back in Florida."

"Ah c'mon, Bri. Ever heard of adapting to change?"

"Matthew's right, my sweet little Bria-Lia~," said her mother who just appeared. She was tall and had long golden hair like Matt's. She had fair skin and hazel eyes. She wore a purple dress with matching heels. "You must adapt to change. It'll be a long process, but before you even know it, sweetie-" She knelt down to her daughter and grabbed her shoulder. "You will love this peaceful mountain town more than Miami." Brianna pouted, but nodded.

"Fine, I'll like this place, mom," she said, sighing.

"I'm also sure you're going to make friends here, Bria-Lia~. Same goes for you, Matty-Tatty~," the mother sang.

"Mooooom, stop calling me that," Matt whined.

"Why don't you two unpack your boxes in your new rooms and decorate your rooms with them? Your daddy and I will unpack the boxes here."

The two nodded as they went upstairs and went to their rooms. Brianna unpacked all her boxes. In them were posters of her favorite videogames, a lot of videogames, two different video game consoles, a handheld video game device, her MP3 player, some earphones, a large T.V., and a couple of large surround-sound stereos. She had all of these because her parents were very rich singers, even though their songs are terrible...at least to her.

She spend what felt like a day getting her room all like her old one. She just needs to hook up the stereos and she'll be fine with it. But that takes a lot of work, even if Matthew and her parents helped her. She decided to take a break and walked downstairs to see her parents getting the living room ready. "Hey mom and dad, can I go outside and see the new town?" she asked.

"Sure, Briakins," replied her father who was hanging up a cross. "Just don't talk to strangers."

"Yes, my sweet Bria-Lia~. Don't talk to any strangers. They might turn you into a Satanist slut whore with fake boobs and ass," added her mother.

"Ooookay. I won't." The biracial girl then walked outside and closed the door to her home behind her. She shivered a bit, so she put her hood on. There has to be at least 3-inches of snow outside. It rarely ever SNOWED in Florida. She guessed she'll have to get used to it. She began to explore the neighborhood. Most of the houses looked decent to her and the city looked decent as well. It's nothing like Miami though.

Brianna then looked at the elementary school she was going to the next day. It was still going on. She thought it wouldn't hurt to see what happens when she comes to the school. When she was walking past the brick walls, she heard child's play. Maybe it's recess time? she thought. She climbed up the wall and looked over the playground. It looked like everyone was having fun and getting along. Maybe it'll be more peaceful than the other elementary school she went to. Jeez, prostitutes for teachers and everyone listening to Drake and wearing swimwear all the time...

"No! I'm not going to be first!" shouted a voice. Brianna snapped out of her thoughts and looked at the boy who said that. He had Caucasian skin and dark eyes. He was wearing a green ushanka hat, a bright orange jacket, a pair of dark green pants, black shoes, and green mittens. She blushed and suddenly became love-struck over him.

Wow... she thought. He's quite handsome...

"Well, you're a Jew, so you go first!" shouted a fat kid. He also had Caucasian skin and wore a blue hat with a yellow puff on top, a red jacket, brown pants, and black shoes. She rolled her eyes.

"That doesn't make any sense, fatass!" yelled back the boy Brianna loves.

Well, what's a school without the as-butthole kid? she thought. She was then shocked at what he said to the kid with the green ushanka. Wait, did he saw JEW?! Could the handsome one be... She remembered what her mother said about love:

"Now Bria-Lia~, the Lord gave us feelings called love. You can fall in love with any guy you like. Your father and I won't mind if you date a Muslim, a Buddhist, a Hindu, whatever. But not a Jew. Your grandmother told me that the Jews stole our religion and made it their own. They're disgraceful people, so don't love the Jewish people or else you'll burn in hell."

But, he's so handsome... she thought. He can't be so bad...

"Somebody needs to be the first person to try this slingshot out," said a boy with a blue and red snow hat, a brown jacket, blue jeans, and black shoes.

Another boy wearing a orange parka, orange pants, and black shoes raised his hand. Okay, what's with the boys here and black shoes? Brianna thought.

"(I'll do it,)" the boy said. But since he's hooded and his eyes were only seen, Brianna couldn't understand him from far.

"Are you sure?" the boy with the brown jacket asked.

"(Yeah.)"

"Like are you really sure?" asked the boy with the green ushanka.

"(Yeah, guys...)"

"Like are you really, really-" the fat kid said before the boy in the orange parka cut him off.

"(I SAID I'M FUCKING DOING IT, GUYS! Jesus Christ!)" From the distance, Brianna still didn't know what he said, but his expression told her what he said.

"Hey, who're you?" asked a voice. The biracial girl flinched and let go of the wall, safely landing in the snow. She had a few seconds before the kid that saw her sees her. She decided to bury herself in the snow, so she did that the best she can and laid still for a moment.

"Do you see her?" asked the same voice.

"No," replied the other one. "I don't see her."

"I thought I saw some girl..."

"M-maybe it's a hallucination," said yet another voice.

"Yeah, I didn't see her, Clyde," said another boy's voice.

'Clyde' sighed. "Alright. I thought I saw a girl spying on us. Come on guys." After a few second, Brianna got out of her cover and sighed in relief.

Suddenly, a muffled scream was heard. The girl looked up and saw the the boy with the orange parka flying and landed face-first onto the road. Being a good girl she is, Brianna ran to him and asked, "Hey! Are you okay?!" The boy slowly opened his eyes to see her. He suddenly felt love-struck for her. He thought, Wow, she's a pretty one...

She sighed in relief and picked him up. "Are you hurt?" she asked.

Her voice sounds so sexy... the boy thought. She waved her hand in front of his face.

"Helloooooo! I asked you a question!" she said in a higher tone.

The boy snapped out of his thoughts and answered, "(I'm fine!)"

"What?" the girl questioned, not understanding his muffling.

"(I said I'm fine.)"

"I think you need to reveal your mouth so I can hear you."

Getting a little annoyed, he said very loud, "(I SAID I'M FINE, DAMMIT!)"

Brianna shot back from what he said. "Okay! Sorry!"

The boy felt bad for his loud comeback, so he said, "(It's alright. My name's Kenny. What's yours?)"

"Huh?" Brianna questioned. "I can't understand what you're saying with that hood on."

Kenny groaned in annoyance. The girl suddenly saw a truck coming by. She yelled, "TRUCK!" and got out of the road.

"(What)?" Kenny asked before he could hear it's horn. He turned and screamed as he saw it. It was too late for him though. The truck ran over him, making him a pile of blood and disheveled organs. Brianna gasped in shock. Oh my god-sh! she thought. She never witnessed someone's death before.

"Oh my god! They killed Kenny!" yelled the boy with the brown jacket's voice. Brianna looked up and saw him, the boy she had a crush on, and other boys and girls hanging top of the brick wall.

"You bastards!" yelled her crush.

Wow...how he says "You bastards"... she thought love-struck.

"Ha! There is a girl!" yelled a boy with brown hair and a red jacket, pointing at her. It must be Clyde. Everyone focused on her, making her feel uncomfortable.

"Wh-what?!" she exclaimed.

"Are you spying on us?" asked Clyde.

She looked at him and replied, "No, I'm just looking at what's going on."

"You mean what we're doing?" asked her crush.

She then looked at him and blushed. "Y-yeah."

"Guys! I need to see the girl!" said the fat kid's voice.

Her crush looked down to his voice and yelled, "She's not your type, fatass! Now go away!"

"I still want to see her!"

"I said go away, fatass!"

"Fine!"

The boy with the green ushanka turned back to her. "Sorry, our fatass friend can get really annoying."

"'Ey!" the fat boy yelled.

"I can see that," Brianna said.

"Anyway, we just made a slingshot and Kenny volunteered to be the first one to try it out."

She looked at what he was on the road. "Sorry about your friend," she apologized.

"Oh, it's alright. He dies every day," the boy with the brown jacket stated.

Brianna widened her eyes. What?! How is that possible?!

"So, why aren't you in school?" asked a girl with a pink hat and long black hair.

"Y-yeah, why aren't you here?" asked a boy with a patch of blonde hair.

"Oh, because I just moved here," she answered.

Everyone looked confused, making Brianna confused. "But we heard a super-rich family moved here," said the boy with the brown jacket.

"Yeah, I'm part of that family." There was silence for a minute. Then everyone laughed, making the biracial girl annoyed.

"What?!" she shouted.

"You don't dress like you're rich," her crush said.

"Yeah, you don't look like you're rich," said a girl with poofy blonde hair.

She pouted. "Fine. I'll show you if you guys are willing to skip school." Everyone then climbed over the wall and went to the ground, much to Brianna's surprise.

"So, where is it?" her crush asked.

She blushed again. "F-follow me," she said as she was walking the way to her house. "By the way, are you sure you want to skip school today?"

"I don't think any of us likes school," the boy with the brown jacket said. Everyone else agreed.

When everything was quiet, the fat boy yelled, "'Ey! What about meh?!" No answer came to him. He then tried to scale the wall, but fell down. "Ah, goddamn it!"

...

Brianna and the rest of the children arrived at her new home. It made all the kids' jaws drop. "Whoa..." they all exclaimed. The biracial girl knocked on the door.

"Just a second~!" sang her mother's voice.

"You sure you're not lying to us?" Clyde asked.

"I'm not lying, dang it!" she yelled. Her mother then opened the door.

"Oh, my lovely Bria-Lia~!" she sang. She then noticed a whole lot of shocked kids behind her. "Oh my~, are these your new little friends? So many of them..." She came out and greeted them, "Hello, Bria-Lia's new friends~. I'm her mother, Melisa, also known as Mel Ibiza, the singer."

All the girls squealed. "The Mel Ibiza?!"

She nodded. "Yes~. Perhaps you are fans of mine?"

The girls ran to her and suggested, "Can you sing 'You're Mine'?!"

Melisa looked flattered and said, "Oh alright, cuties~."

Brianna backed away from her mother and the girls. "Oh gosh, cover your ears."

"What?" her crush questioned.

"'Oh my looooooove~'," Brianna's mother started to sing. That made the boys cover their ears.

"Oh my god!" the boy with the brown jacket exclaimed as she continued singing.

"Your mom's a terrible singer!" her crush said.

"I know!" the biracial girl replied.

The girls then sang, "'It's all because you're miiiiiiiine~!'"

Melisa panted. "Sorry, girls. I need to stop."

"Awww..." the girl said sadly.

"Thank god..." said one of the boys. Brianna and every boy removed their hands from their ears.

"Well, Bria-Lia's new friends, as much as you are cute, my husband and I are still getting the house ready. Maybe at night, we'll all have a magnificent dinner!" Melisa announced.

"Yay!" cheered the girls. The boys said nothing.

"Tood-a-loo~!" Brianna's mother went inside and closed the door. Brianna turned to everyone. "Now, do you believe me?" she asked.

"Yeah!" said the girls.

"Uh, yeah," the boys said.

"Can we please go to your dinner, Bria-Lia?" asked the girl with the long black hair.

"First of all, my name's actually Brianna," she said. "Second of all, sure, if you want to." The girls cheered.

"Does that mean we ALL have to go?" asked the brown jacket boy.

"No, but you can come if you want to." The boys sighed in relief.

"Oh crap! Recess is almost over!" Clyde exclaimed, looking at his watch. Everyone else gasped but Brianna. "We're all so screwed if we don't get back!" Everyone else then ran. The black-haired girl asked, "What time's your dinner?"

"7:00 p.m.," Brianna answered.

"Thank you!" She then ran with all the other kids.

Well, those kids were interesting, she thought. And that Jewish boy... She sighed. It's a shame we can't be together... She then walked into her home to finish up her room.

...

Cartman finally got over the wall. "Yes!" he cried out. "Respect mah authortah!" Then the kids came back and climbed over the brick wall. "Oh mah GOD!" He then tried to climb up, but fell down. "Goddamn it!" He screamed.

If anyone's OOC, my apologies. How was this chapter?

Follow/Favorite/Review if you're interested so far. I'll see you in the next chapter!