Finally posting a story. It's my first one, just that you know. Well, enjoy!

XXX

There was a moment of total silence. Dean stared at Cas, trying to catch his eyes but the angel wouldn't look at him. He was staring at the floor, caught in the ring of fire, feeling the heat on his pale skin.

"Son of a bitch."

His heart cringed at the angry sound of Dean's voice. He had been able to take every hit, every punch, every harsh word from his brothers and sisters but it just hurt to have Dean being this disappointed in him.

I'm sorry. But I did it just for you. Can't you understand?

The words wouldn't leave his mouth. Castiel stayed quiet. He was taught to keep his mouth shut and this behaviour hadn't changed, even in the time of his rebelling and falling it had not. But it had always been easy to keep his thoughts to himself because there weren't many situations in which his opinion would have been needed.

This time it was different. This time it was Dean. This man, this human, had been able to turn his whole world upside down, to make him someone new and it had always felt right. So there hadn't been a need for explanations because everything had been going great.

Castiel bit his bottom lip, not daring to look in Dean's direction. There was no looking necessary to get the disappointment and the anger which Dean held in his chest right in that moment.

He wanted to cry out, to shout and scream and just get the fuck away from here, from Dean and Sam.

I did it all for you, Dean! Please, don't push me away. I need you, can't you see?

Maybe his brothers and sisters had been right. Maybe he had himself been getting pulled too deep into this world, into the lives of the humans, especially the lives of the Winchesters. But none of the other angels had an idea of just how deep he got pulled into.

The bed was creaking underneath them, the silent night filled the sounds of harsh breathing, pants and moans full of relish.

Dean had settled his arms to both sides of Castiel, trying not to fall onto him even though he knew that Cas could take his weight easily. But right now he looked so damn fragile. His eyes were big and glistering, full lips slightly opened, pale cheeks unusually flushed. Their gazes were locked, something Dean preferred not to do in the past when he was going at it with a girl. Always had made him feel a bit uneasy, like there were actually emotions behind what they did. It had been just a random fuck, so why chick-flicking around?

But when Cas moaned his name, gripped his right arm carefully and putting his hand on the mark on his left shoulder, Dean didn't feel uneasy at all.

He swallowed hard and thrust inside the angel. Cas yelled in surprise when Dean hit his prostate, now gripping more tightly. He leant down and placed a soft kiss on his lover's lips.

"I love you, Cas", he panted. "Fuck, I… just frigging love you."

Castiel looked at him with his big blue eyes and nodded, hesitantly.

Looking back at that moment had made him strangely happy, because Dean had told him something what he hadn't been told before. That time, Cas had believed that Dean really meant it but now he could throw up at that thought. Not because of what Dean had said, but because Castiel had misused his love, misused his trust in him.

He felt terribly sick and weak, his shoulders hung down like they had to carry a great weight. Finally he lifted his head up, his eyes slowly catching those of Dean. He flinched. There was no love at all, only hurt and anger.

Castiel felt some tears built up in his tired eyes.

I love you too, Dean and I'm truly sorry.