Chapter 1
I was warm, and comfortable. I was completely safe. Suddenly I was snatched up, and I heard panic in a familiar voice as I was switched to smaller arms. I felt heat, and whimpered slightly, and the arms I was in tightened slightly in reassurance. I opened my eyes to see that I was outside, and a bright orange glow lit up the night. A dark figure stood in the center, and they turned to look at me. They had bright, cruel, fractured yellow eyes, and-
I jerked awake; the sounds of Metallica filling the air in my brother's car. I took a deep breath and looked around. The noise died down as my brother adjusted the volume before turning to glance worriedly at me.
"Hey, you alright?" he asked me, putting a hand on my knee. I nodded mutely and gave a wry smile in his direction.
"You know I'm fine. I'm always fine." I saw Dean shake his head a little. He knew that even if I felt horrible, or afraid, or even if I was injured, that I would always say that I was fine. To tell the truth, that phrase probably scared him more than he would like to admit.
"Nightmares again?" he said softly. I nodded before turning to look out the car window at the countryside rolling by. Dean sighed.
"You know, one day you're going to have to tell me what you see in them. I'm worried about you Ray. You're my little sister, I'm supposed to be able to help you." I turned to glance at him, feeling guilty that I made him feel helpless.
"You do help me. More than you know. Trust me, there are quite a few times when I couldn't have handled anything without you being there." We avoided the other's gaze. We both knew that I wasn't only talking about my nightmares; I was also talking about our brother, Sam.
Sam and I were twins, me being two hours younger than him. It had hurt me pretty bad when he dropped all contact when he went to college. We were really close, and he just left like he didn't care. I understood why he wanted to be normal, we all did. I didn't blame him for leaving, just acting like we didn't even exist.
"We'll be there in a half hour." Dean said. He looked at me with a skeptical expression. "You sure you want to come in?" I nodded.
"I'm still pissed as hell at him, but I'm also not going to run from him either. Besides, we're going to be stuck in the car with him soon, might as well get the 'hello fight' over with from the beginning." I said, making Dean laugh slightly.
We'd received a phone call from Dad with EVP on it, and hadn't heard from him since. Since this was a family matter, Dean suggested that we go get Sam to help. I was less than pleased at seeing my twin again after everything, but I knew my brother was right to want an extra pair of eyes.
A little while later we pulled up outside of Sam's apartment. My stomach began to feel a little queasy, but I shook it off. We got out of the car and went around to the fire escape. I smirked.
"Leave it to us Winchesters to never do things the conventional way. You know, most people would wait until daylight before visiting, and even then they would probably call ahead. Instead, we come out of the blue in the middle of the night, and decide to break in through the fire escape window."
Dean laughed as we climbed up to the right floor. He stepped aside to let me pick the lock because I was better at it than he was. I slid the window open and slipped inside, making no noise. I turned just in time to see Dean fall into the room, smashing a plate nearby.
"You know, you'd suck at being a burglar." I murmured , rolling my eyes. Dean stood up and brushed himself off, looking put out.
"Shut up." he grumbled, and I gave a cheeky smile in return. Dean walked into the next room, and I followed. I figured my brother had probably woken Sam, so I stood at the edge of the room, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed waiting for him to show up.
Sure enough, as Dean walked past a doorway, Sam jumped him. The whirled around, exchanging blows moving around the room. Dean finally ended the fight by slamming Sam to the floor with a thud that made me wince slightly.
"Woah, easy tiger." he said smugly. I rolled my eyes. The first time we see Sam in four years and the first thing Dean does is gloat that he beat him in a fight. Sam was gasping slightly.
"Dean?" he asks, slightly shocked. Dean chuckled, still pinning him to the floor and muttered a greeting.
"You scared the crap out of me!" Sam accuses, slightly angry. Dean gave a short laugh.
"That's 'cause you're out of practice." he smirks. Sam's expression turns determined. With a sudden manouver, he has my brother in his own previous position, and Dean looks slightly impressed and laughs a little.
"Or not." he gasps out, grinning as Sam's arm is pressing against his throat. I roll my eyes at the pair before deciding to make my presence known.
"You boys done yet? Dude, get off him." Sam's eyes snap to me and his face is surprised and happy. He falls back as Dean pushes him off, then stands.
"Rachel? What are you guys doing here?" he laughs out. He moves to hug me, but I pretend not to see as I go check Dean over. I also pretend not to see the hurt look that crosses Sam's face. I refuse to feel guilty for my actions toward him. It's obvious to me that he wanted nothing to do with his past, or he would have called. If he wanted nothing, then that's what he's going to get.
"Actually, she goes by Ray now. We were just looking for a couple of beers." Dean says, putting a hand on my shoulder. I glance at him briefly in thanks before a voice saying my twin's name causes all of us to turn and look at the doorway. The light turns on, and I blink against the light.
A blonde haired girl in a Smurfs crop top and really small pink shorts stands there. Sam looks briefly like a deer caught in the headlights before regaining his composure.
"Jess, hey." Ah. So this girl is my brother's girlfriend. She's certainly pretty. Also completely out of his usual league, though I think that if he tried, he could charm any girl. Jess has a confused look on her face as she enters the room. I don't blame her, I'd feel the same if I found my boyfriend talking with two strangers in the middle of the night.
"Dean, Rachel, I mean Ray, this is my girlfriend Jessica." A look of surprise and understanding wash over Jess's face.
"Wait. Your brother Dean?" she asks stepping further into the room. I glance at my brothers before I see a flirtatious look come onto Dean's face. I roll my eyes and look at him in disbelief. Really, our brothers girlfriend?
"You know, I love the Smurfs. You know, I got to tell you, you are completely out of my brother's league." Jess looks rather uncomfortable, and I step forward to pull Dean away from her.
"Dean, quit it. Jess is Sam's girlfriend, leave her alone. Could you try to act civilized for fifteen minutes, or would you explode?" Dean yanks his arm out of my grip and whacks me on the shoulder. I send a nasty look in his direction and he rolls his eyes. Jess turns to look at me as I walk around, examining the house.
"Um, Rachel-" she begins until she sees my look, "Sorry, Ray. How do you know Sam? I don't think he's ever mentioned you before." Sam, Dean, and I freeze. My heart is pounding, and I swallow hard before turning slowly to look at Sam. Dean is glancing between us, looking sad for me and angry at Sam.
"Well," I say coldly, ignoring the flinch Sam gives at my tone, "nice to know where I stand with my twin finally. Looks like I don't need to stick around for this then. Dean, fill Sam in. I'll be in the car. Nice to meet you Jessica." I leave through the front door, allowing it to slam behind me. After I reach the car, I slid into the passenger seat and put my head against the cold glass of the window.
A single tear slid down my cheek, and I wiped it away angrily. Crying never solved anything. It didn't keep me from getting hurt by the supernatural. It didn't keep Sam from leaving. It didn't bring Mom back. It certainly didn't make Sam mention that he ever had a twin sister. Crying was pointless, and it was weak. I'd learned that the hard way.
I hear Sam's voice filter through the air, obviously pissed off, and sit up. I watch as Dean comes over near the car, subconsciously glancing to check if I was okay. I nodded and he turned to face Sam.
"Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors." Sam says exasperated. I breathe out slightly, shaking my head. Of course they were talking about Dad.
"So what are you going to do? Are you just gonna live some normal, apple-pie life? Is that it?" Dean challenges.
"No, not normal." Sam says. "Safe." Dean scoffs and shakes his head in disbelief.
"So that's why you ran away." Sam raises his eyebrows at our brother.
"I was just going to college. It was Dad who said that if I was going to go, that I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing." he says.
"Dammit Sam, you just don't get it do you? Do you know what it did to us when you left? What it did to Rachel? Man, she was cut up for weeks after you left. I still don't think she's over it, but I don't know for sure because she's shut herself off. And if I even mention you she closes up faster and tighter than a clamshell." Dean shakes his head.
"To tell the truth, I'm surprised she didn't bash your skull in tonight. I mean what were you thinking, not even mentioning her? You obviously mentioned me."
Sam looks away and mutters, "You wouldn't understand."
"Damn right I don't." Dean sighed before continuing. "Anyway, Dad's in real trouble right now if he's not dead already. I can feel it." I tune out of the conversation as I yawn, and lean my head back against the seat of the car. I know the rest of what Dean is going to say, and I'm tired.
I've pulled three all-nighters in the past five days, and the other two nights I've been woken up with nightmares. Seeing Sam again has stressed me out too. I need to sleep. A few minutes later, I hear the car doors open and I know Sam has agreed to come along. I feel Dean's familiar weight slide into the car beside me, and I open my eyes blearily to look at him.
"Hey," he says softly, and I'm acutely aware of Sam watching our interaction. "go back to sleep. I'll wake you up when we get there." I nod as he opens his right arm up and I curl into his side. My brother's comforting warmth soothes my nerves and soon I'm almost asleep.
"Love you, Dean." I mumble. I'm almost gone when I feel him press a quick kiss to my hair.
"Love you too, Ray."