This is one of my first song-fics, and it's based loosely on John Barrowman's 'What About Us?'
It's just a little bit of Gwack fluff!
xoxoxo
Bold = Jack
Italics = Gwen
Normal = Both
I know I never should have left you. We were getting so close before I left...I thought we were getting too close...but now I know otherwise. When I first returned, I know how angry you were at me...I know how much I hurt you...But, looking back, maybe it was for the best...My time away made me realised how much I cared about you...how much I needed you...and it taught you that, no matter what, I'd always come back to you. But what about now? Where do we stand now?
When you said that you'd be able to go back to your old life before Torchwood because you wouldn't know any different, it killed me inside. It was as though you were saying that you'd be able to go back to your old life before you'd met me; that you'd be able to RetCon yourself knowing that every memory we'd shared...it would all be forgotten.
When I found out that you were engaged to Rhys...my world was torn apart. I thought then that I'd lost you forever. We'd always said that we'd be there for one another, but when I first came back, we weren't...you were mad at me for leaving, and I was mad at me for leaving Rhys to propose to you...I thought our friendship was in danger, and I didn't know what was going to happen to us.
I was ready to leave Rhys, for you. Before you left us...left me...I was ready to leave him so we could be together. I'd known for a while that Rhys no longer understood me. I knew that we'd been growing more and more distant with each passing day. Rhys was always trying too hard to impress me. I never knew what to do for the best.
Rhys and I fought constantly...you know that...you were always there to pick up the pieces when I was falling apart. Every night...or every other night...whenever I got home from work, we'd argue. We'd fight about where I'd been, why I was on call 24/7, exactly what my job was...we'd fight until I ended up in tears, crying myself to sleep on the sofa...
I didn't know what to do for the best...I knew it was wrong to keep lying to Rhys...to keep lying to myself...to keep telling everyone that I loved Rhys...that I was happy with Rhys...Most of the things I said to Rhys were lies. When I kept telling you that we were over; that I was happy that Rhys and I were getting married, that was all a lie...
When I told you that Rhys and I had split up, I didn't know how you'd react...you seemed to be perfectly happy with Ianto, and I didn't know where we would stand with one another. I know that you had said that you would never give up hope that we could be together one day, but I was unsure about whether you would still want me, after all I'd put you through...
We were living a lie...
I never loved Ianto...not in the way that I love you...my relationship with him...it was all a lie..
I did love Rhys...you know I did...but once I joined Torchwood...once I knew what the universe had to offer...what you had to offer...Rhys and I just grew apart...
I didn't think you loved me...
When we talked, you hid your emotions so well...better than I ever thought you could...
You didn't hide that well..I knew what you felt for me...I think everyone did...
I wondered what our relationship meant to you...
It meant everything...
So, where do we go from here? What happens to us?
Only time will tell, my darling...
I love you
I love you too