A/N: I wrote this over a month ago when the chapter came out where Haise was being tempted by the 'Kaneki' in his mind.
It's pretty grim but I had to get it out of my system; In lieu of the current chapter's foreboding for another situation like that, I'm finally posting this. I'm not setting this as 'Complete' since I may add other 'fly by night' one shots.
Sweet Dreams
The night is bitter, wind wailing against the windows of a quiet home.
Frost creeps onto the glass, mirroring the growing tumult in a darkened bedroom.
Feverish sweat caressed Haise Sasaki's skin, the pearl of moonlight giving a shimmering hue.
He tossed and turned, fingers arched in pain, the warmth of blood pooling where nails dig in deep...
...but the real pain, lies inside, in the depths of a mind that is split...where a nightmare waits in earnest...
"Shut up! Shut. Up!" Sasaki yelled, crouched low in a darkened room, bearing stain glassed mosaics.
You're weak...you'll lose everything...
"I don't have to listen to you..."
You need me...or else they'll throw you out...
"Go away..."
Then...shall I show you?
"No..."
It was happening again... the 'Centipede' was coming to torment him.
On certain nights when the moon was full, when exhaustion filled his limbs, when work took its toll and he felt as a wandering shell; when he finally collapsed, fully clothed on the bed...Then, it would come...
Icy fingers, stealing the warmth from his skin as the darkness grew...intertwining their fingers, cradling him from behind.
The grotesque appendage on the sickly pale face, staring at him with three manic eyes..."Go away..." but the words were futile..."Go away..."as it coiled around him
..."Go away..." as a feeling of utter hopelessness, seeped into the very fiber of his being...
An incessant chittering...the flittering of poisoned legs assaulted his ears.
"Stop it!" He screams, the noise growing louder as the being opens its mouth to broadcast the maddening sound. "Stoppp iitt!" As a black insect, with several sharp appendages, crawls from the snow haired demon's mouth to coil around his neck.
"Please..." Sasaki pleads, tears rolling down his face.
Nights like these he could only plead, the voices of his mentors far from him; days like these, where the vision of his companions brought no light to the horrid landscape of his mind.
And then the snow haired demon would laugh "You lost everything long ago...
...how could you forget, Haise?" It hissed, in between the maddening chitter. "You're alone, unwanted...a fake, a fraud...and they'll find out...and they'll kill you!
"Get away from me!" He screamed in response; the icy grip tightens, his head is pulled back roughly "You're a liar..." Haise whispered
"No..." The demon says "YOU! ARE THE LIAR!"
The insect tightens visciously, its legs binding the soft flesh, it creeps slowly, moving menancingly towards his ear...
"Please, don't do this! I'm-I'm!-
And he can't form the words, because he doesn't know what he wants to say...
...He's what? What is he?
He can't remember.
The snow haired demon waits, the silence tearing him apart...but with no further response, he feels the air grow darker.
If you have nothing to say...then I'll just have to show you...one. more. time...
"No...please..." but he knows his words are useless...
Too bad...
Then it dives into his ear, the pain issuing forth a blood curdling scream.
The insect tears at the flesh viciously, globs of blood painting the checkered floor.
It twists and coils, forcing its body inside the head completely...
...and he screams, as the dreadful chitter, vibrates behind eye sockets scratched raw...
...he screams... as the legs sting the inner flesh, causing a swelling that burns to a charred black...and he screams, as the snow haired demon behind him, tears the flesh from his body with bleach white teeth...eating him alive.
In this hell, tortuous memories form, of pain, of hurt, of helplessness, of regret. Of places and times he does not know, of smiles he cannot enjoy in the agony.
And all the while the chittering plays, a vengeful noise from an evil phantom.
"...I'll do anything..."
And now, he will beg, because he is stripped and bare before this white haired demon, because it is inside him as the bug and outside him as the monster...because it haunts him with memories he is afraid to face and because the power to accept them is lost.
Nothing matters in this dark and mad place, only him and the demon exist; so here he has no pride, no faith, no joy, no sadness...only despair and emptiness.
He lies on the checkered floor, sobbing, bloody, naked, torn, swollen, burned, haunted...broken.
There's only one way to make this stop tonight, Haise...
And his blood runs cold...because he knows what he must do; he has had to do it before but if he does it again he knows he will lose a bit more of himself.
You have to accept me...ALL of me...
And his eyes squeeze shut as he knows what the demon is asking for...He wants to be consumed...to be consumed, by him...
He stares at the stained glass above him, his body trembling in agony and fear; he doesn't want to eat the monster, the demon...the insect...he doesn't want to...
"I-I..." ...but the words won't form...
I'm waiting...Haise...
He doesn't finish.
The pale and sickly form lies beneath him now, its flesh neither living nor dead; two black holes set in the ghostly face. Here, it does not mock him, here, it does not sneer, only submits, waits patiently, for him to start the numbing task.
He lowers his head to face the exposed flesh, he knows as soon as he bites it will begin; the flesh will melt between his teeth, the smell of its blood will make him gag, he'll put it in his mouth and the blood will be sweet, but the images in his mind will make him scream.
He will be overcome and keep biting, tearing at the flesh in anger, in a frenzy; he will eat its arms, its legs, its face...and all the while it will say nothing...it will be completely void of all motion now that its goal is complete; until it writhes in his stomach, until he feels filthy and gross, until it taints him just a little more than before.
...but tonight, he cannot do it...saliva falls from his mouth, he's already going to throw up...
The snow haired demon rises then; it knows...
You know the consequences...for rejecting me, don't you?
His body trembles, its coming...now the hell really begins...
He is pierced by merciless tendrils, they inject themselves into his flesh and he is hoisted high.
The remaining tendrils lay into his flesh; a cruel and unending whipping.
Somewhere time stops, when his throat is raw from the shrieks and his face is tight with dried tears. Why? he wonders, as the membranes pluck his limbs one by one, Why? as they grow back only to be ripped again...Why? As the snow haired demon performs the act with neither joy nor disdain.
"Why are you doing this to me?!" Sasaki screamed, but he never receives a response.
"Answer me!" He screamed louder, uncaring for the blood gushing from his mouth.
The answer comes in the form of more of the tortuous images.
"These...these are memories... of yours...?" He manages to gasp to the being below him.
Mine? It questioned
"Ours?" He said, receiving silence..."Ours!?" He yelled
The floor is unforgiving as he crashes to it; the dreadful suspension at last ended.
He turns on the floor, to face the snow haired demon standing above him, waiting...waiting...
"You..." Sasaki began, making the painful journey to an upright position. "Show me...who...who we are..."
We?
"Yes...we." He said defiantly "Show me!"
And then it began, the rush of faces and names and times and places; this time, of a different hue, of a different kind.
Here smiles washed over him, laughter kissed his face, adventures long since forgotten, caressed and danced above his head;ToukaHideHinamiYoshimuraMomSenTakatsuki-
And tears fell down his face, as a dark haired boy smiled brightly, as he ran, as he read, as he played.
"These are ours..." Haise whispered amidst the living menagerie "...and this boy..."
When he turned around, the nightmare room was all but gone; in its place stood the snow white demon...but this time it had a face; his face. A champagne gaze regarded him solemnly, looking as if woken from a long sleep.
"You are..."
...I'm glad we can finally talk...
He saw the being walking up to him, nothing like the monstrosity of before; he felt the warmth on his shoulder as the hand pressed it lightly.
I don't think we started off on the right foot... it said
"We..."
So lets try this again shall we?...
...Who are you? it questioned, a warmth in it's gaze that brought a smile to his tortured face.
"I'm Kaneki...
...Kaneki Ken..."