AN: This is a crack fic. Most likely, this will make absolutely no sense whatsoever and I really only put it in this section because Mother Gothel makes one small appearance that sorta puts the whole fic into motion. Everything else has nothing to do with canon. And there's also spaceships. Apparently this is the reason why I'm not allowed to tell my friends stories at 2 AM.
Anyway, I own nothing.
There were once three girls sitting in the dark on a hot summer night, around 2 AM. All of them had a Tangled obsession, a Firefly obsession which actually had led them to create their own Firefly-esque imaginary characters, and a thing for pink camels and unicorns. And they were bored, so one friend, Elly decided to tell a story. The other two, Gwen and Jade listened intently.
"Once there was a girl with long blond hair-" Elly began.
"Was her name Rapunzel?" Gwen interrupted.
"No. Her name was Blondie-" Elly said.
"Was her real name Rapunzel?" Gwen interrupted again.
"No-" Elly began.
"Was her real name Parker?" Jade interrupted. Elly sighed.
"Yes. Parker Ira Puppy." Elly said.
"Wait you can't mix two of MY characters together!" Gwen protested. Elly ignored her and continued with the story.
"Her best friends names' were Anna and Charlotte. They sailed on a spaceship with the Captain Cordelia Thorne and a crazy doctor named Giovanni who everyone called Gio or Crazy Doctor. One day they landed on a planet called Corona and met a woman named Gothel who kidnapped Parker and brought her to a magic tower...
"Anna, Charlotte, and the Crazy Doctor had to go save her because the captain was off getting drunk with the locals. After mother Gothel kidnapped Parker and brought her to this tower she was serenaded by Chameleons all day long. Anna, Crazy Doctor, and Charlotte had stolen a horse from the king dude; and he was pissed, lemme tell you, he was royally pissed off. He had a son, whose name was Harry, who was a red head. And Gwen will totally marry him one day, because I said so."
"It was getting dark so Anna, Charlotte and Gio all stopped off underneath a tree and laid out magical blankets, that they pulled out of nowhere. Meanwhile, Parker was busy being a blonde, tripping over air and hitting on guys nearby; not that there was any guys nearby so she was really hitting on chameleons, cause that's what she's into. During the night, the crew going to rescue Parker wasn't sure why they were going to rescue her, then they realized! She owed them money. So they all went to bed and then it got really cold, so they woke up and realized they had snuggled up to one another in their sleep, it got very awkward, since Gio made it awkward. They couldn't look each other in the eye over breakfast. Breakfast was actually a bunch of nonexplosives berries, that Anna and Charlotte found in the forest but Gio just killed a small helpless deer and ate it raw. After breakfast they kept walking, walking closer to the tower. The deeper they got into the forest, the more magical it became and then they break out into song and dance-"ITS MAGIC, WHOAAAAA, NEVER BELIEVE ITS NOT SOOO! ITS MAGIC, YOU KNOWWWWW! NEVER BELIEVE ITS NOT SOOOO. They keep walking and walking until they come across a camel, in the middle of the road but the camel was away from it's mother and Anna and Charlotte look at it, looking deep into it's eyes and grab onto crazy doctor's arms so he doesn't hurt it.""They promise to lead it back to it's mother and in return the camel would grant them three wishes, so they said 'FORGET PARKER! LET'S GET WISHES!' because a magical camel was more important then Parker."
"THAT'S NOT FAIR, PARKER IS GOING TO HAVE TO SAVE HERSELF!" Gwen shouted, interrupting the story once again.
"Yeah, she's going to have to be her own hero now." Elly said.
"Yeah, cause dumb blondes can do that." Jade said, sarcastically. Elly stuck her tongue out at them and continued with the story.
"So, Anna,Charlotte and crazy doctor traveled with the camel to the furthest edge of the kingdom, meanwhile in the background, Firefly theme music played."
Wait! What's Firefly!" Gwen said, picking up Jade's cell phone and playing with it.
"Shut up and watch Firefly." Elly said.
"Get off my phone Gwen or I will stab you." Jade said. The story than began again.
"As they walked and walked and walked they met numerous amounts of creatures, they met a a scarecrow who could walk and talk without a brain, they met a tinman with no heart, they met a cowardly lion and they all linked arms, except for Gio; who is too cool, and skipped down a yellow brick road. Gio however just walked with his hands in his pockets like a pimp, you know, all gangster like. As Gio was walking all pimp like and the other people linked arms and skipped a song started to play and they sang-"We're off the see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of camels." The baby camel was leading them to find it's mother, who hadn't come looking for it yet, for some reason. They kept walking and some other creatures joined them, then they stopped for a picnic in an ice little town. Anna and Charlotte's clothes had become ruined at that point so they went shopping. Anna and Charlotte destroyed the shops, they spent just that much money there. All of it Gio's, of course. Anna and Charlotte never had their own money. They were in debt to EVERYONE. Wait...does that mean they owe Parker money? Whatever. They bought blue and white checkered dresses, which made Gio comment that they looked like Dorothy Gale or a really weird Alice from Wonderland. Which made no sense, since neither were blonde, like Parker. They kept walking and walking, the entire crew of like a hundred animals and people by this point, which is entirely ridiculous, were following one little camel. It was like a pilgrimage. Which made sense, given that the camel was hot fuschia pink and was probably a cult leader.
"As they walked, they passed a man who was named Barbie. He was wearing a pink shirt and held a blue surfboard. They had reached the ocean, where Mama Camel was hanging out and just kinda being herself with out the kid dragging her groove down. The baby Camel, upon spotting his Mama, ran over to see her. At which point the Mama Camel sighed and ordered her kid a chicken nugget happy meal. He then sang out a song of epic proportions and they all did a high school musical choreographed dance complete with a perfectly timed jump at the end. Even Gio participated and actually was the best dancer of them all. Hidden talents for all. The baby Camel than went over to Gio, Anna, and Charlotte and told them "You three each get three wishes each now. What are your wishes?"
"Gio wished for an amputated arm from the Prime Minister of Omicron Persei 8, three eyeballs from a three eyed man whose name is George, and a rare steak with caviar. Charlotte wished for sparkly glitter monsters, a green perfume bottle filled with the world's most expensive perfume ever. It still smelled like crap. Her last wish was for pony named Buttercup. And then Anna made her wishes. Anna wished for a puppy named Cabbage, love potion, and duct tape with hearts on it. She then spiked Gio's water bottle with the love potion so that he would forget that she owed him money. He's immune to love potions though, because he's awesome like that.
"After they got their three wishes, they headed back to the ship, having completely forgotten about Parker Ira Puppy and how they kinda needed to save her. The Cap'n was there, waiting for them.
"Where's Parker?" She asked, noting the items that the crew were carrying and the animals they had acquired.
"Ummmmm...She's dead." The trio answered.
"No I'm not!" shouted Parker from the really nearby tower. The tower was actually right next to the ship and where she got kidnapped. They only wandered into the forest under the pretense of "searching for her", but really kinda wanted to leave her for dead since it wasn't her who owed, it was them owing her money. Except for Gio, because he's a rich. Being a sucessfully crazy doctor who charged ridiculous rates can do that for you.
"Parker!" Anna and Charlotte shouted. "Get down from that tower, you silly goose."
"If I could, I would! There aren't any stairs, you idiots!" Parker shouted.
"Yes there are! There are always stairs, because this is a magical world!" The girls shouted. They then, once again, broke into song and dance. Stairs magically appeared out of nowhere, because in this world, that's how we do. Parker walked down these stairs and went over to Anna and Charlotte and punched each of them in the face for abandoning her to the cold tower with no good food and a whole bunch of odd chameleons.
"The Cap'n didn't care what had happened and made everyone get on the ship so they could take off. They then took off and left. The Ballad of Serenity played, once again, in the background. Anna and Charlotte had tons of fun with the aftermath of their three wishes, the least of which was GO being forced to go on horse clean up duty, since they claimed it was his horse.
"After all this, the girls used the duct tape to tape a paper towel tube it's head, so that it became a unicorn. They then spray painted it pink and fluffed up it's fur and had it dance on a rainbow.
"The end. No one lives happily ever after on this ship" Elly said, finally finishing the story. She took a deep breath, since she talked kinda fast and was really lucky that her friends could understand this huge thing. "And the moral of the story is never leave anyone for dead. And if you do, don't tell them your plan."
"Why?" Jade asked, curious. It probably wasn't best to inquire as to why she was curious.
"Because when you leave someone for dead, you don't guarntee that they are dead. Always shoot twice. And like I said, never tell them your plan. They will only come back from the supposed dead and spoil your fun." Elly said.
"Wait, how does that relate at all to the story?" Gwen asked.
"Shuddup. It doesn't. You two just need to learn that lesson." Elly said. "Who wants to go duct tape Gwen to a chair and make her watch Firefly?"
"Me!" Jade said, raising her hand and waving it back and forth excitedly. "Can we watch Tangled after that?"
"Yes!" Elly said. She grabbed her green duct tape and drug Gwen downstairs to watch Firefly as all three girls began fangirling out about Eugene Fitzherbert.
A/N: The end. If you actually read this instead of reading the quality fanfiction available here, thank you. Oh, and if there are any spelling errors or grammar errors, I really don't care. Usually, with my other fics, I do. But alas, this time, I do not. Anyway, thanks again!