"Kiss the girl, Moony!"
"She doesn't want me to kiss her."
"Yes she does!"
"Padfoot, I'm too old, too poor, and too dangerous for her."
"Sod off."
"This is my house."
"So!"
"You shouldn't even be here. Go back to Grimmauld Place."
"I needed to get out. Besides, Tonks is beyond upset."
"Why?"
"YOU WON'T KISS HER, FOR MERLIN'S SAKE!"
"Stop yelling!"
"No!"
"You never did grow out of your meddling habit."
"What meddling habit?"
"Remember? You meddled with Frank and Alice? Wormtail—quit that murderous look—and that ugly Hufflepuff who didn't want him? Prongs and Lily? If I recall correctly, you tried to get McGonagall and Dumbledore together!"
"It's not my fault Minnie's too uptight, and Dumbledore's gay."
"You still call her Minnie?"
"Yes."
"Does she still threaten detention?"
"She did the other night when Molly had the Order over for dinner. I teased her that she couldn't."
"Hexed?"
"Hexed."
"Go away now."
"Nope!"
"You're a dolt."
"YOU'RE THE DOLT! TONKS LOVES YOU, MOONY, AND YOU JUST SIT HERE BASKING IN SELF-PITY LIKE ALWAYS!"
"Always?"
"It's all you did in school. Remember? We had to literally throw you and Kat in a broom closet naked before you'd tell her you liked her."
"So? I haven't seen her in forever."
"She's dead."
"Oh yeah. I blocked that out of my memory."
"…"
"What?"
"She's why you won't love Tonks, isn't she?"
"Who?"
"Kat Lee! Lily and… Lyss' best friend?"
"Why would she be the reason?"
"Right before she died you told her about your furry little problem! And she ran away from you, Moony! Admit it! She's scarred you more than Fenrir Greyback has."
"Sod off, Padfoot."
"Back to that, are we, Moony?"
"…"
"…"
"Fine. I'll go kiss Dora."
"THAT'S MY BOY! Prongs would be proud!"
"Yeah, yeah…"
And Sirius yelled, "get some!" as Remus Apparated out of the small flat.
Thanks for reading this dialogue one-shot! Disclaimer: JKR owns characters. I own nothing but the conversation.
If you want to know who Kat Lee and Lyss Collins are, look through my other stories. They're Lily's best friends during school (according to my Marauders novels and such). Go to anotherlilyevansstory's Profile and read some of her stories. They're wonderful and more canon than mine.