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Author Note: Look everyone I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this. I do believe somebody put something in the pop I was drinking
Enjoy this screwed up story and flame away for the crappy, pointless storyline but not for the Tifa bashing. Hee Hee Hee I musta been really out of my mind to write this… ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 'setting' thoughts (actions) * sound effcts * "time change" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A Party At Cid's 'Cid is sitting in a chair lighting a cigarette. Shera is cleaning up and watching out the window' Cid: Shera! Where the hell is my tea?!?!?! Shera: I can't get it right now, everyone's going to be here in twenty minutes. Cid: (Mumbling to himself) Damn! Doesn't she know I can't make my own tea?! * Ding Dong * Shera: (Looking at her watch) Oh no! My watch stopped! (she runs to open the door) Hi Cloud! Cloud: Hey Shera. Hey Cid. Cid: Hey Spike! Cloud: Didn't I tell ya not to call me that? Cid: So what? Since when have I ever listened to what you say? Cloud: (fuming) Never! That's the problem! (He throws himself on the couch) * Ding Dong * Shera: (Opening the door) Hi Tifa! Tifa: Hey Shera. Hey Cid. (She smiles and waves) Hi Cloud. Cloud: (Grunts) I can't stand her. She's so… oh there aren't words for it… Tifa: (Sits on couch next to Cloud) So how are you? Cloud: (shrugs) Okay… Please someone else show up * Ding Dong * Cloud: Thank you! Shera: (Opening door) Hi Aeris! Aeris: Hi Shera (hugs her) long time no see! (Walks around saying hello to everyone) Hi Cloud! Cloud: Someone up there really likes me Hi Aeris! (He moves away from Tifa to make room for Aeris) * Ding Dong * Shera: (opening the door… again…) Hey guys! Vincent: Hi. (Barret, Reeve, and Nanaki follow him in each mumbling a greeting) Yuffie: Wait a second I'm here too! (Runs in after Nanaki, tripping over him) You stupid mutt! Nanaki: I really hope you aren't speaking to me Yuffie. Yuffie: No I was talkin' to Barret! You really are- (looks up and sees Vincent) eep! Nanaki: (looks to where Yuffie is staring and whispers to Yuffie) You ever call me a stupid mutt I'm going to tell Vincent a certain secret I have just figured out. Yuffie: Eeeep! Shera: (walking over to the radio) lets listen to some music. (Swing music blares out of the radio) Cloud: (quickly) Aeris you wanna dance? Aeris: I don't know how. Tifa: I d- Cloud: I'll teach you. Plllllleeeaaaassssseeeeeee! Aeris: (glances at fuming Tifa) Okay! (Follows Cloud) Tifa: That's how he wants to play… Barret wanna dance? Barret: No. Tifa: Why? Barret: I don' dance. Tifa: Please! Barret: If I don't she'll pester me all night… worse than Marlene when she wants something Fine. Tifa: Yay! (drags Barret with her) Cloud: For someone who doesn't know how to swing dance you're sure good at it! Aeris: Well to tell ya the truth I just wanted to make Tifa mad. It worked. (Looks to where Tifa is still glaring a the two) "An HoUr LaTeR" 'Cloud is talking to Aeris in a corner. Tifa is glaring at them over Barret's shoulder. Cid is still sitting in a chair smoking a cigarette. Yuffie is staring at Vincent (who isn't doing anything) and sighing in a love-sick way. Nanaki laughs and she hits him over the head. Reeve is just sitting back watchin the whole thing. Shera shakes her head.) Shera: Hey Girls lets leave the guys alone for a while and go talk in the back room… (walks back with Tifa, Aeris, and Yuffie following her) Cid: (looking down the hall) Finally! (walks over to a cabinet and unlocks it) Now the fun starts. (passes alcohol around.) Cloud: Yes! "HaLf An HoUr LaTeR" Barret: So I tells him I don't give a damn how much it costs I'm Barret Wallace and I saved your ass from Sephiroth an' Shinra! (Everyone laughs drunkenly) Cloud: Hey what happened to the girls? Cid: I dunno… SHERA! WHERE THE HELL ARE YA?! Shera: (Running into the room) What's wrong? Cid: I just wanted to tell ya (stands up and walks up to Shera) You (leans in close) are a swell girl. I mean Aeris, Tifa, Yuffie, they are swell guys… but you are a swell girl. I have never met a sweller girl. (Aeris, Tifa, and Yuffie walk to the door unknown to everyone else) Cloud: Hey! Aeris is not a guy. She is the prettest, sexiest (uses his hands to make a curvy female figure in the air) girl I have ever met. Now Yuffie I don't think she's a he. In fact I am almost certain of it. Tifa, I think, Tifa is a guy! I think she had the "operation" and now she looks like a girl. But geez her jugs are wayyyyyyyyyyy toooo big to be real. Nanaki: (looking up and seeing Yuffie in the doorway) Hey Vincent! Guess what! Vincent: (looking up) What? Nanaki: Yuffie has a thing fer you! (laughs as Yuffie turns bright red) Vincent: Kewl! I think she's hot! I mean that whole turtle neck thing is such a turn on! Reeve: Well I don' give a damn what Cloud said Tifa is DEFINITELY a woman. I think she's way hot! (Sees the embarresed girls) Hey look they're all here! (All the girl are crimson and Tifa is still fuming.) Vincent: (Walking over to Yuffie unsteadily) You got a thing fer me huh? I think that's is great! You are the hottest thing on two legs. (Kisses her full on the lips) (All the guys cheer as Vincent continues to kiss her) Yuffie: You are way drunk aren't you! Vincent: I only had (Holds up eight fingers) six glasses of vodka! I ain't that drunk… yet! Yuffie: (nods) right. Come on I'm going to take you home. (pulls Vincent through the door) Reeve: Bye Vince! (Gets up and swaggers over to Tifa) so are you going to take me home too? I am WAY drunker then he is! Tifa: (putting a hand on his shoulder) Sure I'll take you home. Come on! hell Cloud doesn't want me… Cloud: Reeve I never woulda guessed you were into men! Tifa: You asshole! (Jumps on the couch and starts beating the crap out of him) Reeve: (Pulling Tifa off of Cloud) Come on let's go! (drags Tifa outside) Barret: Nanaki looks like the party's breakin' up… you wanna go find a bar? Nanaki: Sure! (They both leave) Cid: I'm comin' with! Cloud: Count me in too! Shera and Aeris: No you're not! Cloud: Awwwww Cid: Pul-ease! Shera: No now go to bed! (Cid walks out) Aeris: Can Cloud and I crash here tonight? I don't think he could walk home and I don't wanna leave him. He'll need help in the morning. Shera: Sure. G'night! (Walks into her bedroom) CID I MEANT YOUR ROOM NOT MINE! Cloud: (Snickering) Aeris: You are going to have one heck of a hangover tomorrow. Cloud: (Standing unsteadily) You wanna know sumthin'? You really should swear! You have never sworn before in your life and that's funny! Aeris: (in an annoyed voice) No Cloud. Now go lay down on the couch. Cloud: Yes'm (falls over the back of the couch) Aeris: Now go to- Cloud: ZzZzZzZzZzZz Aeris: Good (Lays down on another couch) Cloud: (opens his eyes and giggles then closes them quickly) Aeris: Cloud… Cloud: (Does it again) Aeris: Cloud! Cloud: (Does it again) Aeris: CLOUD! Cloud: (Does it again) Aeris: Dammit Cloud! (Hits him over the head with the princess guard) Shera: I THOUGHT I SAID GET OUT! Cid: I THOUGHT I SAID NO! Aeris: Oh Shera! I think I can help you! ~The End~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author Note: Look I told you it was pretty messed up! If people actually enjoyed this I'll write another even more screwed up one about the morning after… hee hee hee… Bye y'all! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~