A/N: I do not own anything Twilight. So sad! The song belongs to David Cook.
This is a song fic from Bella's POV. Set after the Cullen's leave her in New Moon. Inspirational Song: Declaration by David Cook.
Bella's Declaration
I am beyond the point of no return. How can I make it through the days and nghts without them? My days are dull and slow, my nights are fueled with my desires to be loved, even just wanted. I am lost and no one is looking for me. My family left me. How could they do this to me? I was their daughter, their sister, their reason for existing. I can't even imagine why these things happen to me. Why am I a danger magnet? Why do I gravitate to the ones who will hurt me? Am I cursed? Maybe I just don't get it. I am a damned soul who is dying everyday. No one can nderstand why I am like this. Hell, I don't understand it half the time.
I'm taken just the way you are
Imperfect words inside a perfect song
I feel you closer than you are
But I've been waiting far too long, too long
"God why don't they just come back? Was I that much of a problem?"
It's my declaration
To anyone who's listening
"Like they never existed! Right. What in the hell does he think? AHHHH!!! We were family, you do not abandon your family, damn it!"
You're my inspiration
As I stand alone against the world
'cause you love
And you bleed
"You bleed? I am the one with the fucking hole in my chest! My heart has been ripped out and I can't breathe, I can't see what's going on around me, I can't.... I... I just am."
And you stole my soul to set me free
It's my declaration
"Set me free, please God ,set me free!"
Do you care what I believe?
('cause I'm still breathing)
"Like I can breath without him.... without them, my family."
Or that I wear your heart upon my sleeve
Sometimes I think you never knew
The only truth I see is you, is you
"I should have been enough! You are my everything! Why did this happen, am I being punished for loving him?"
It's my declaration
To anyone who's listening
You're my inspiration
As I stand alone against the world
'cause you love
And you bleed
And you stole my soul to set me free
"For my own good. Who in the hell does he think he is? What did they all go for? I am just a shell of who I was before them. I can't go on with out him... without my family."
It's my declaration
Are there any words to say
That I would ever mean enough?
When the light runs from the day
Will the darkness be too much?
"The darkness surrounds me... swallowing me, I feel like I have died. I am Bella Swan and i am broken. What good am I to anyone, myself included."
Will I ever be enough?
"Apparently not! Is that not fucking obvious Swan, they left you!"
It's my declaration
To anyone who's listening
You're my inspiration
As I stand alone against the world
'cause you love
"If he loved me, I mean truly loved me... how could he leave me. HE left me alone and unloved. Why do I exist? Did he ever love me? I think not."
And you bleed
And you stole my soul to set me free
"Who can set me free? Does HE think he's the crypt keeper, can he really set me free?"
It's my declaration
So tell me you can hear these words tonight
"SCREW YOU EDWARD CULLEN... just fucking screw you. I am a strong person and I will survive. I do not need you to survive!"
It's my declaration
I heard this song today. It made me do some serious soul searching. I can't help but feel that I can find myself if for no other reason than just to find myself, for myself. I can't always rely on others to be there. I have to depend on me! Declaration by David Cook, made me examine my life and my future. Can I say good bye to them all. I am not sure how but I have too. I have to live for myself! I can not wait for them to return to me, I must move on.
End notes: The song chose me, no joke. I was sitting at work and it came on the radio and the little voice in my head started to come alive. I hope you enjoyed it.