OKAY! So I am writing this while on a sugar rush and watching Harry Potter number 5. I ate like 6 cadbury eggs!


This is about: HP and W. For reference: Harry Potter And Warriors!


"Do you ever stop eating," scorned Hermione to Ron

"NOM NOM NOM," Ron replied, his mouth full of food

Suddenly Jayfeather, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf appear out of nowhere!

"DID SOMEBODY SAY NOM NOM NOM!

"nom nom nom," they said in perfect harmony.

Ron stared at the three cats that had suddenly appeared in the room. "Why are there cats at Hogwarts," he asked to Hermione who was watching the cats feed something to Crookshanks.

"I have no idea," she casually replied.

"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW EVERYTHING," shouted Ron

Then, Crookshanks started bouncing off the walls. "HOORAY FOR CATMINT," the cat trio shouted.

"What the bloody hell is Catmint," screamed Ron

Sensibly Hermione replied," Either a equivalent to gummy bears or what these cats call Catnip."

Jayfeather started meditating. Then, out of nowhere, all four clans appeared in the great hall.

"Thank you Jayfeather, meowed Firestar, Now let the Hunger Games begin!, Sorry, wrong book! Okay let Drool Ball Begin!

"It's Yule Ball."

"I don't care."

Fiestar continued,"It is time for the couple's dance so grab a partner."

Then, he ran of the platform and to Sandstorm...'s left where he kept his wax statue of Spottedleaf. Jayfeather tenderly held his stick while Half Moon peered shyly from around the corner. Ashfur was watching Squirrelflight and Brambleclaw with binoculars and a dummies guide to stalking.


Meanwhile...

The kits were tangled all over Ron and Hermione using them as a play gym. One kitten was punching Ron in the nose pretending Ron was Hawkfrost. (Everyone wants to do that to Hawkfrost!)

"Please could you get off me fuzzy kittens," Hermione said politely.

All Ron could manage was,"BLOODY HELL!"


Graystripe had Millie in one arm and Silverstream in the other.

"What a flirt," thought Firestar as he kissed wax Spottedleaf on the nose.

"Eeeww, this tastes like wax," Firestar said and hurried over to Sandstorm leaving wax Spottedleaf with a empty punch cup in her wax paw.

Jayfeather had a fight with his stick and finally broke it. Rock came out.

"Okay I thought you were a beautiful she-cat, Jayfeather said disgustedly, This is wrong on so many levels."


Mrs. Noris and Crookshanks (nicknamed the castle cats ) showed the other cats around.

"This is Snape's private store of Monster energy drink for when he is depressed, explained Mrs. Noris, He drinks a lot - he is pretty much always depressed."

All the cats giggled even though they had no idea who Snape was.

The castle cats showed them a pile of broken kitten plates in the closet from when Umbridge ruled the school. Leafpool liked watching the fluffy kitty pets walk in and out of flap- doors. Cloudtail started flirting with one.

When Crookshanks showed them the Hufflepuff emblem, cats snorted.

"If a cat were on that emblem Hufflepuff wouldn't be so lame," scoffed Berrynose

When he felt the hot breath of Midnight and Cedric Diggory on his fur he quickly apologized.


The cats had fun teasing talking portraits and trying stale Weasley candy that turned their fur purple.

Shadowclan claimed Slytherin common room, Thiunderclan - Gryffindor, Riverclan - Ravenclaw, and Windclan - Hufflepuff.

"Why is every Twoleg here obsessed with sticks," wondered Hollyleaf glancing at a Twoleg with glasses and a lightning scar (cats thought he was from Thunderclan) wresting with Jayfeather for a long stick with bumps on it. ( elder wand!)


Firestar called a meeting. At the meeting he tossed out Monster drinks to every-cat.

"MONSTER!," every-cat screamed with glee.

Suddenly, Percy entered the room with Annabeth at his side. (did I mention Percy Jackson was in this!)

"Did somebody say monster, he cried, because I WILL KILL IT!"

Every-cat dumped their drinks on the floor creating a soda-ocean in the great hall.

"NOooooo, screamed Percy, this drink has too much sugar and not enough water for me to control it."

And with that Percy and Annabeth were washed out of the room forever. (and hopefully washed forever from this story)


Meanwhile...

While Ron was still covered in kittens Hermione had managed to untangle herself.

"I'll get help," she cried to Ron who was suffocating under the sheer amount of kittens (most of which were Daisy's)

She ran out and minuets later... (We all know Hermione is super fast)

SHE BROUGHT SIRIUS BLACK?!


Well Duh...

the one thing cats hate is DOGS!

Sirius turned into a dog and scared the cats out of their ba-jeebers and Professor Trelawney who is still screaming, "GRIM, IT"S THE GRIM!" at St. Mungo's hospital.

Jayfeather started meditating and the cats all disappeared through a portal.


All that was left in the great hall was some empty Monster cans, Midnight taking a nap, Luna Lovegood wondering where her new kitty friends went, and Nyan cat still going Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya Nya...

Then, Dumbledore came in with his groceries and Professor McGonagall. He dropped his groceries.

With a flick of his wand the great hall went back to normal

He gave Ron, Hermione, and Luna (who was sleeping on the ground) the evil eye.

And said, "This NEVER happened."

Then, he erased their memory and sent them off to bed.

"Oh BLOODY HELL, he said, those darn portals!"


THE END