DNON
You need to stop.
He will chew you in and spit you out.
Just face it.
You're-
.
.
.
.
-nothing.
These words-
they tell me them every day.
.
.
.
Why do I even try?
He will never want you.
Don't even bother.
Be who you are...
.
.
.
-trash.
I used to be so-
-bubbly.
.
.
.
Thinking does nothing.
Dreaming does nothing.
Praying does nothing.
I am
.
.
.
nothing.
I am-
.
.
.
ugly.
Their taunts echo off the walls of my mind.
It's the same thing-
the same fucking thing-
-every goddamn day.
Can you please-
stop?
.
.
.
No.
He said he would, that she didn't mean anything-
He promised.
.
.
.
Everything is a lie.
Too bad I fell in 'love' anyway.
I am empty inside.
I am in hell.
All I want to do is believe, but I think I lost that
All my hopes, dreams, morals,
All
..Lost.
You don't need a guy in your life.
It's not like he wants you anyway.
It's already hard enough living.
Or am I even living at all?
My heart beats fast as the blade rushes through my pale skin.
I feel the rush.
I see red.
This.
Is.
Life.
.
.
.
Specifically-
mine.
Nobody knows.
Nobody
.
.
.
cares.
I keep quiet now-
it's better this way.
Less insults,
less threats,
Less...
her.
They ruined me.
He fucking-
.
.
.
promised.
Seeing them together-
makes me puke.
My heart rips.
I don't think I can ever mend myself-
-together
it's never an option anymore.
I thought I was something.
But it was all a game.
I am just a pawn.
He is a king.
But I?
I am not a queen.
She is.
She is the light in his eyes.
The white in his smile.
The skip in his step.
The reason why he laughs.
But I?
I will never be.
.
.
.
I tried dying my hair.
I tried...
Being like-
-her.
But.
There's no point.
.
.
.
It's useless.
Just.
Like.
Me.
My hair gets ruined that night.
Gone is the silvery gray that it once was.
It is now a dull pink.
Not a fiery red-
.
.
.
like hers.
They walk together in the park during the evenings.
He has his arm around her waist,
and she leans against him.
They fit like missing puzzle pieces.
I
saw
red.
I didn't do anything of course.
It was not my place.
After all, I am not his, he is not mine.
We were never 'we'-
but that doesn't
-take the pain away.
.
.
.
Even as I saw-
their lips touch,
their secret smiles,
their body language...
I refused...
.
.
.
to cry.
The years pass. I move on.
Last time I heard- they got hitched and she's pregnant.
But- they had the fucking audacity to send me a postcard.
She's glowing.
I don't mind.
My hair's still pink.
Her hair is still red.
His hair is still silver.
I'll send a postcard of my own.
He doesn't ask why we're out here, taking a family portrait for no reason.
He just shakes his head and gets our two angels from the playroom, as I go upstairs and pick out some nice clothes.
We get the photo shoot done and drive home.
They'll be here in 5 days, via mail.
5 days later, I get the mail.
I open the pictures,
he's still at work anyway.
He does a small smirk, and in the photos he looks peaceful-
cocky, even.
But that's okay, because that's how and who he is.
He's extremely proud of our family.
And I love him.
And he?
.
.
.
He loves me.
I met him my first year at college.
I was a quiet, introverted, closed girl.
But I knew inside I wasn't.
It's just that they ruined me.
I used to be bubbly, carefree-
-optimistic about what love is.
No one ever really wants the girl who's
broken.
.
.
.
At the time,
his purple eyes drew me in-
my green ones didn't do the same.
It was his second year of college.
He was the cold, distant, dark boy.
I saw him standing there in the library, reading a psychology book.
I thought he was out of my league.
He thought he was out of mine.
2 weeks later I gained the courage.
He apparently goes to the library every week
Coincidentally, the same day as I.
Naruto, my older brother's friend-
told me his name-
it's...
Sasuke.
I'm nervous at first,
I haven't approached a guy in years.
My self-esteem crumbled when I saw
his silver hair-
and her red eyes.
"So I notice you come here every week- I do too. How are you?"
"Hn. I need to study. Fine I guess."
"I'm Sakura."
"Hn. Sasuke."
Somehow, we became inseparable.
Well, more like I go up to him and we would just-
be.
I felt...
Lighter.
Happy.
Wanted.
We didn't start going out until a couple of months after we met.
After all, Sasuke mostly spoke in 'grunts'.
I'm still surprised today that he made the first move.
"So, how are you today?"
"Hn. Starving."
"Yeah, I've barely eaten anything all day."
"Aa. Want to go eat out?"
"Sure!"
.
.
.
He is my king.
I am his queen.
.
I am glad Suigetsu and Karin ruined me that day.
Glad that he chewed me up and spit me out.
.
.
.
Otherwise, I would have never met Sasuke.
And we would never have our twins-
Itachi (after his war-hero brother) and Yuki, our little girl.
We send the postcard of all four of us-
smiling happily at the camera.
And I?
I realized something.
I am something.
I am a-
A daughter,a mother,
A therapist,a lover,
A wife.
I am not trash.
.
.
.
"Sakura! I'm home!" I hear, quickly putting away the copy of our postcards and large print of our family portraits.
I make a note to find their card so I can get their return address and send them ours.
Yuki and Itachi are at Naruto and Hinata's place playing with their kids- Kenji and Natsumi.
"I'm coming!" I reply back, walking back towards my dear husband.
He brings me in his arms and kisses my large forehead.
I see the adoration in his eyes.
I smile back.
I am loved.
I was curious on how it was to type something like this.
Sorry if I had any spelling errors, and if this 'style' annoyed you for being weird, or for the story not being long.
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