A/N: I have no clue how this happened, but it did and there really aren't enough of these out there.

This contains kind of a new writing style for me. I often don't like it unless it's done a specific way, please let me know if you don't think I pulled it off.

Enjoy!

Tonks found herself caught between a rock and a hard place. Quite literally unfortunately. Well, figuratively. But figuratively she was quite literally….fuck it.

She was wedged between Remus who was disgustingly hard, and Ronald Weasley who was surprisingly pure muscle and practically a rock.

So there you go. Figuratively, she was quite literally stuck.

It was Harry's first birthday since the death of Voldemort and the whole family (the Weasleys the Order, some proffessors) decided to make it a huge thing. The sleeping arrangements were decided by first come first serve, and Tonks, being quite the partier was the last one to arrive. The rest of the crew had arrived at pretty much the same time and well, it was all a bit of a blur (very literally, she was drunk off her ass) but somehow she ended up wedged between twiddle dee and twiddle please fuck me.

No thanks.

Somehow she maneuvered out of the sleeping arrangement and stumbled towards the kitchen and morphed into Remus, drunkenly mocking him whining about his dick. She then transformed into to Ron and proceeded to stomp around like a rock.

Ya know...if a rock could stomp.

"Ron?"

"Bloody hell!" Tonks squeaked out in his voice. It wasn't on purpose of course. The two of them just had identical swearing patterns.

"Shut up." Hermione said and pressed her body against him. "I need you."

Tonk's brow rose and she opened her mouth to protest, but then the sweetest lips she had ever tasted forced themselves onto hers and well…she was still quite drunk.

"Fuck." Tonks said and lifted Hermione onto the kitchen table.

"Ron!" she hissed, "People eat here!"

"That's the idea, luv." Tonks said and put Hermione's legs over her shoulder. She smirked as the protests turned to moans and pleas. Soon, she had Hermione spread out on the table, arching into her mouth.

"Oh my god, Ron!" she moaned softly, though Tonks could tell it was practically a scream. A few more swipes of her tongue and Hermione's thighs were quaking massively as her entire body shook.

Tonks sat back with a smug grin and before she realized what was happening, Hermione was on her knees, sucking her dick.

"Jesus Christ, Hermione!" she hissed. Hermione's eyes flickered up at her, but she was too drunk to register the confusion. She could only see that Hermione had her lips wrapped around her and was doing her best to swallow her entire organ.

When the brunette succeeded, Tonks held tightly to her hair and fucked her throat until she came hard. Her eyes rolled at the feel of a soft throat contracting around her head, massaging it as Hermione swallowed her cum. Hermione pulled back and Tonks' eyes widened. "I'm so sorry, Hermione." Drunk as she was, she had one too many memories of men doing the same to her. It was awful and no one likes it.

"Don't be." Hermione panted, "I loved it."

No one except Hermione Granger, resident kinkmaster. Okay. Dully noted.

And that was the story of how Tonks started fucking one Hermione Granger quite regularly and found herself between another rock and hard place.

We will not be debating how figuratively or literally it was. (It was half literal, half figurative.)

On one hand, Hermione was a fantastic lay. But Tonks was still fucking her as Ron. And when those two broke up, she would follow Hermione to clubs and 'leave early' when in reality, she was morphing into some guy and fucking the girl's brains out.

On the other hand, she seriously wanted to date the girl but, as far as she could tell, Hermione was straight.

So she could, continue fucking Hermione as a man and make it a semi-permanent change. (Hello rock)

Or she could try to date Hermione as Tonks and at some point admit that they had been fucking for so long and so often that Tonks had a permanent dick. (hello hard place)

She was so fucked.

During one of such fucking sessions, Hermione looked up at her knowingly, and it was sexy as fuck, "I know who you are."

Tonks (donning the body of some male Adonis she had seen recently) stopped mid thrust and looked down at Hermione. "I'm sorry, what?"

Hermione flipped them over and leaned over, bracing herself on Tonks' chest as she whispered. "Ron doesn't have the faintest clue who Jesus is or how to use his tongue like that…Tonks."

Tonks' eyes widened and she inhaled sharply, her features returning to normal as she gulped. "I-I can explain."

Hermione raised a brow and put her arm over her chest, though she didn't move off of Tonk's dick nor did her hand move off of her chest. Merlin the girl was beautiful with that look on her face that said Tonks was in deep shit.

Oh wait.

She actually was in deep shit. Like Azkaban worthy shit. Fuck.

"I….I was drunk! And then you were amazing. A-a-a-and it just kept happening. So I just let it happen and now I think I've changed my biology or something cause that's real. And I really want to go on a date with you, so don't hate me or send me to Azkaban?" she rushed the words out and watched with one eye as Hermione stared down at her.

Her hips shifted and Tonks grunted. "H-hermione…I said that's real. As in really mine and – "

Hermione interrupted with a moan as she rose her hips and lowered them, "And really good."

Tonks' eyes widened and she squeaked out, "What?"

Hermione chuckled and leaned down, never breaking her rhythm. "Baby I've know who you were since that first night. And trust me I was very confused. You see I never wanted Ron. That night I was making a last ditch effort to force myself. I'd had a fantastic dream staring a woman and I saw 'Ron' standing there and tried to make it work. And you were so good. I was quite glad when I realized you weren't Ron. As you can see, I got rid of him soon after. I had – ooh yesss" she moaned as Tonks' hips jerked up. "Not yet, Tonks."

Tonks nodded but otherwise remained still.

"I'd hoped you would come to me. And I suppose you did, just not how I expected. You can change many things about you Tonks but your eyes? Your walk? That thing you do with your tongue?"

Hermione groaned and flipped her hair to one side as she kissed the woman beneath her.

"I knew it was you every time. It was actually fun for a while, and I was still a little confused on whether or not I wanted a woman, so I let you play your games. But I realized that I'm missing out on you. I want to get to know you outside of the bedroom."

Tonks moaned and nodded, her hips jerking again. "Me too."

Hermione bit her lip, "Go out with me tomorrow?"

Tonks grinned, "I'll cook you breakfast."

Hermione smiled, "It's a date. Now fuck me. Please. You know how I like it."

Tonks flipped them back over and put Hermione on all fours. "Say my name."

"Tonks." Hermione moaned.

Tonks swallowed and shook her head, "My name, Hermione." She had surprised herself with the demand, but honestly, she had spent so long pretending, she needed to hear Hermione say it.

Hermione looked back at her, "Please, Nymphadora. Fuck me."

Tonks groaned, "Yes, maam."

A/N: That wasn't bad right? Again, reviews are an acceptable birthday gift. Even if it's to say please never do that again :) Oh and I could be convinced to write more of this pairing. There might be a second chapter to this too.