A/N- This story covers the events of the chapters "That Went Well", "Pigs of New Guinea", and "Ahead in Navigating" from my longer 'fic, "Life of a Loser", although from Noah's perspective rather than Ezekiel's. You may possibly wish to start there.
"Noah! Argh! I thought we lost you! Darn single riders! Zeke, take him down like he's hot!"
Despite having a hard enough time driving as he was, Noah actually did something stupid: He glanced back at them. Bridgette was hunched over her team's jet ski, Ezekiel half-standing and clinging to her shoulder with his left hand. He was aiming…
Ezekiel opened fire on him with the paintball gun, and Noah jerked his jet ski to the right out of impulse.
"Pick on the loner, why don't you?" he shouted. His palms were wet, either from sweat or lake-water, and out of habit he rubbed one against his own skin. That did not help for a number of reasons, not the least of which was because his jet ski immediately swerved.
"Boney Island is just ahead now," Bridgette called. "Come on, Zeke! We can do this!"
Noah was by no means stupid, and he knew that being splattered with Ezekiel's paint was far better than smashing into the beach and getting himself killed. He slowed the jet ski just slightly. Rap, rap, rap! went Ezekiel's paint on his shoulder, but he ignored it. Just a moment more, and then he'd cut the speed and swim for the shallows. Eva and Beth had already reached the island and claimed a flag. Eva had turned their jet ski around and was impatiently twisting her hands up, down, up, down around the handlebars while Beth floundered towards her, too short to reach the bottom but also having difficulty swimming. Eva grabbed her and hoisted her up, and they shot off.
Then, "Zeke, get down!"
"I got this, eh!"
Noah wasn't sure how far out the sandbar of Boney Island reached, nor did he want to find out the hard way. Nor did he really care about this stupid contest, really… But it was kind of neat to finally be allowed to make-use of the stolen jet-skis that had been taunting them all for weeks, and his "rank" in this place had been challenged, so to speak, and-
The jet ski roared as Eva and Beth shot by on Bridgette and Ezekiel's other side. Noah heard Bridgette yelp, heard their engine just behind him as their jet ski hit the wake of his own, heard the splash as both riders went flying. A wall of water cascaded over him as he glanced back again, and suddenly he had tipped too.
Underwater, bubbles, drifting, disoriented, water, couldn't think, underwater, upside-down, sand, sand, bubbles, underwater, bubbles, what?
Thank heaven for life jackets. The waves had calmed slightly, and he bobbed there, clutching at the straps on his shoulders purely because he had nothing better to do. The water felt iced over even in the blazing summer sun and damp, almost sticky strands of his hair clung to his skin. Not far off he saw Ezekiel surface, gasping and spluttering.
"Bri'gette! Yo Bri'gette! Where are ya, homes? I can't… I can't swim, eh! Bri'gette?"
Not all the waves had subsided, and one was holding a jet ski at its crest. It toppled over, falling-
"Zeke, look out!" Bridgette shouted from somewhere. Too little, too late. The jet ski came down on the back of his head, pushing Ezekiel underwater. Bridgette stroked over a heartbeat later, drawing in a great breath of air before plunging down. She came up empty-handed and dove under once more. This time when she surfaced she clutched the unconscious Ezekiel to her side.
The race was not over. The hum of engines still filled the air. Noah's own jet ski still bobbed upright, and he kicked his way towards it, clinging to its side for safety as Trent and Tyler roared past them from behind. Trent cut the engine, but not soon enough. They hit shallow land beneath the water, flipping their entire jet ski nose-down and then over.
Perfect. Two concussions, if Noah had to guess. Rolling his eyes, he struck out for land, vaguely aware of Bridgette paddling one-handedly beside him. And swimming faster even with her load, ironically enough.
"Is he breathing?" Noah called out to her.
"I don't think so! He inhaled a lot of water!" Bridgette reached the shallows and sloshed towards the shore, Noah scrambling right behind her. He could feel his heart beating in his chest, the roar of blood in his ears, but he forced himself not to panic.
"I have some medical training-" he began.
"Good! So do I! Go take care of Trent and Tyler!"
Ezekiel must have hit a sharp rock when he went under, because his hoody had been torn at his shoulder and he was bleeding. Bridgette flung him down onto solid sand and impatiently wriggled his life jacket and hoody off of him. These were then tossed over her shoulder to Noah, who caught them without complaint or question, and hurried off to check on Trent and Tyler.
Tyler was fine, and Trent woke before they had even finished dragging him to shore. Groggily he asked, "Can you tell accident it was just a Kevin? Hope doesn't get Chris real mad…"
"Thank goodness I don't have to give him CPR," Noah grunted to Tyler, who stared back at him with a deadpan I don't understand basic medical terminology face.
"You know? Mouth-to-mouth?"
Tyler shrugged.
"Forget it."
Bridgette, on the other hand, had finished the first stage of chest-compressions and actually was giving Ezekiel mouth-to-mouth. As Noah walked over to watch and possibly offer help, Courtney and Cody ran together for the shore, sloshing through the water.
"Is he okay?" Cody asked, goggling Ezekiel.
Courtney hardly spared the prairie boy a glance. She told Cody to grab their flag while she examined a cut on her foot. He stumbled across the sand, hesitated over the flags, and took a step towards Ezekiel. Courtney literally dragged him back to their jet ski after that, flag in fist, and Bridgette briefly paused from mouth-to-mouth to scowl after them.
"Ezekiel," Noah prompted her, and with an irritated shake of her head Bridgette went back to him. Trails of long blonde hair had slipped from her ponytail, and they brushed against Ezekiel's face as she bent over. Noah was reminded of the way his older sister Amanda looked when she was crouched over the computer keyboard, taking out herds of Grogboars in Kosmic Kaos. Funny, really… but the two girls looked exactly the same…
Trent moaned and rubbed his head while Tyler awkwardly patted him on the back. Noah was just heading over to check on them when he heard Bridgette's voice.
"Ezekiel?"
"… Bri'gette?"
Oh, thank heaven, thought Noah, He's going to live. I'd feel so guilty.
"Oh, thank goodness," said Bridgette. "For a moment there I was really worried for you. But none of your limbs are broken and now you're awake, so… so yeah. Everything's fine. Thank goodness for that."
Noah slid down to the sand and stared out at the lake, frowning thoughtfully. His own jet ski had beached itself in the shallow water, Tyler and Trent's didn't seem too much worse for wear, aside from a few scratches and dents, but the jet ski that had beamed Ezekiel had drifted far out into the lake. Five of them. Two jet skis.
And where were the other campers, anyway? Justin and Harold? Sadie and Katie? Had they seen Eva and Beth heading in the opposite direction and assumed that the contest was over, that there was no point in continuing? Had they crashed as well?
"Zeke?" Bridgette cried then, her voice rising in a bit of panic. "Are you okay? You look a little…"
Noah glanced over to find Ezekiel sitting upright, leaning far back and staring at the clouds.
"Peanut butter," was all he said.
What? Noah asked himself, and Bridgette repeated the word aloud as if she had read his mind. Ezekiel screwed his eyes shut and rubbed furiously at his wet hair. He mumbled a long string of unintelligible words, then opened his eyes again and gave Bridgette a weak smile.
"Y'know Bri'gette… ya look just like Noah when ya get scared. He does that same thing with his arms and his eyes and… but when you do it ya make it look really… pretty."
Bridgette was on her feet now. "Hold on - peanut butter? You don't mean - that sandwich I ate - CPR - don't tell me that you're allergic to - argh! Ezekiel!"
Allergies. Noah's hand went for his pocket on impulse - he never went anywhere with an EpiPen - and then he cursed softly when he remembered he was wearing his swim trunks.
Bridgette wrapped her arms beneath Ezekiel's and dragged him backwards along the beach, muttering to herself as she went. Then she raised her voice and shouted, "Noah, Tyler, Trent! We're leaving!"
Two jet-skis, five people. Bridgette and Ezekiel got one, of course…
Tyler volunteered to wait behind for someone to pick him up. Trent could have a concussion, after all, and needed someone who could drive back with him.
"I kinda know how to drive a motorcycle," he said, "but I've never tried a water-bike thingie, and I don't think now's the time for me to try and learn."
Not to mention that Noah had (read up on) medical training and had plenty of first-hand experience with this sort of thing. Who could have predicted that having allergies might actually come in handy someday?
Bridgette had already loaded the groggy Ezekiel onto one jet ski by the time Noah and Trent reached the second. Noah had to push their ride along the sandbar on his own, as Trent wasn't much help, but once they got in the water they were golden. The two of them pulled up by the dock of Playa Des Losers a few minutes after Bridgette and Ezekiel had, and after Noah delivered Trent to the care of someone more qualified - and less lazy - he went to visit his fellow peanut-allergy-suffering… friend? who was already in the infirmary.
Noah flicked on the lights when he stepped in, then stopped. He wasn't alone.
"Bridgette," he said.
Bridgette still wore her wetsuit and life jacket, and only then did Noah realize that his vest was still around his shoulders too. She knelt beside Ezekiel's bed, her head buried among the sheets, and she didn't look up when he called her name. Her blonde hair had dried, and it looked so soft fanned out like that across the blankets, so golden in the light, that Noah almost reached out to touch it - more out of habit than anything else - before he realized what he was doing, and quickly slapped his hand back against his thigh.
Beautiful.
It was definitely the word that described Bridgette - not 'hot' or 'sexy' or those other words that were so… ugh. "Justin's words", he called them. Noah didn't feel ashamed to describe Bridgette that way in his mind - beautiful - seeing as that was also the word he thought of whenever he saw his sisters. Along with 'frustrating', 'annoying', 'irritating', 'loud', 'fun', 'loving'… Lots of that sort of thing.
Hmm… Beautiful. Not a word he'd said - or even really thought too much - about the other girls at Playa Des Losers. Then came Bridgette. She hadn't even been here a full day, and already he was thinking it. So could this be a 'crush' he was having? (Stupid word, that, but what can you do about linguistics, hm?)
Noah flicked through a mental file of his feelings, searching for anything that matched his sisters' descriptions of 'crush'. Heartbeat? Seemed normal. Trembling hands? Nope. Knocking knees? Definitely not. Self-consciousness? Possibly. Maybe. Not really, no.
Nothing. Bridgette was just… there. Beautiful, yes, but just there. And anyway, relationships couldn't last if built on only beauty. That was certainly one thing his brief couple of dates with that Sophie girl had taught him, if nothing else. And there had been other things, of course, some that he really preferred not to think about. What to do when your back was pinned against a wall came to mind.
… She still hadn't answered him.
"Noah to Bridgette. Come in, Bridgette." Noah stepped to the bed and glanced at Ezekiel, who had both hands pressed together and placed beneath his head; clearly he was sleeping off the effects of an EpiPen.
Better him than me.
Not rude - Not really - just a pure fact.
"Is he going to be okay?" Bridgette asked, at last lifting her face.
"Just peachy."
"Peachy," she repeated.
"It's a Fruitcake joke."
Bridgette gave him a puzzled, curious look.
"Eva. Long story. Actually not a long story, but still one that I'm too lazy to tell." Noah stepped carefully past Bridgette to the other side of Ezekiel's bed. "He'll live."
From this new position, Noah leaned a second time over Ezekiel. This was made all the more awkward by the fact that he wasn't alone, but Noah shrugged and took off Ezekiel's toque anyway. He ran his fingers through the prairie boy's hair. Yep- there was a big one right on the back, bandaged up a bit with strips of red gauze that had once been white. Noah scribbled 'Zeke/jet ski/goose egg/possibly not concussion' on his mental notepad. He'd transcribe that to his actual book later and then ask one of the interns if his guess had been right. Assuming they even knew.
"He doesn't have a concussion," he told Bridgette, because she was giving him a strange look. "That's good for many reasons, especially since falling asleep after having a concussion could be very bad."
She nodded slowly and ran a length of thread through her mouth. This was then fed through the eye of a needle, which in turn was slipped through the fabric of Ezekiel's hoody. So she was fixing the gash on the sleeve, then.
"Trent, on the other hand," Noah continued, "has injured himself at least once each day since coming here- including the night he arrived. He's lucky he didn't need stitches after his forehead hit the stairs."
Bridgette gave a slight smile at that, and she watched Noah as Noah watched Ezekiel. Because he didn't have full confidence in the interns here, he began checking for any signs of a possible uni- or bi-phasic reaction himself. Noah placed two fingers on Ezekiel's neck to count his pulse and added the number to his imaginary list, followed by 'skin not red' and 'breathing normal'.
Lucky. I'll bet he only has a minor sensitivity.
Noah said, "Yeah, he'll be fine," and crossed to the front of the room again. As expected, whoever had injected Ezekiel had simply thrown away the EpiPen in a small, open trash can. Amateurs. Rolling his eyes, Noah snatched it up. There was no sign of its plastic case, so he'd just carry it until…
… When, exactly? He'd always left his used EpiPens at the hospital before, just getting into a habit of taking them once they were used. Then they could be 'properly disposed of' in the sharps container. But since the hotel's two infirmary rooms were the closest thing they had to a hospital here…
Bridgette laughed a bit. "Whatever you're thinking about must be intense. You look just like The Thinker statue."
"Hmm?" Absently, Noah looked himself over. One arm sort of folded, the knuckles of his other hand on his chin. "Guess so."
Then Bridgette sighed. Apparently she had finished Ezekiel's hoody, and she folded it up and put away her thread. Then, pointing at the EpiPen in his fist, she said, "I wish we would have had one of those with us."
"Yeah, I usually carry one around with me at all times. Just not today."
Bridgette raised her eyebrows in mock horror. "So it's your fault that Zeke here almost died?"
She was teasing, of course, but the comment still put Noah on slight defensive. "They're not exactly waterproof. And besides, my swim trunks don't have pockets. Of course I didn't have one on me."
A second time she sighed, staring down at her hands, and then her face hit the blankets again. "He could have died. I almost killed him. I am a horrible person."
"Okay, first of all, if anyone here is a horrible person, it would be Courtney." Noah sat down cross-legged on the floor, carefully keeping the EpiPen away from him. "I hate to say so to your face, but you saw her back there. She literally dragged Cody back to their jet ski and took off. Second of all, Homeschool here didn't come anywhere close to dying. He's got a sensitivity and that's it. I'm the one with the life-threatening peanut allergy."
Bridgette shifted, lifting her eyes from the bedsheets without actually lifting away her mouth. "Which I suppose is why you haven't come within three feet of me."
"That would be the reason, yes," Noah agreed, smiling thinly.
"I still can't believe I actually almost- Oh, I think he's awake now." Bridgette sat up, leaning forward as she gazed along the bed at Ezekiel, who had reached out and begun to flatten his blankets.
"Zeke? How you feeling?"
"Mm… pretty good, eh."
His eyes weren't red and puffy, and when he spoke his voice sounded fine as well. Yes, probably only a minor sensitivity. Noah gave himself a mental pat on the back for his deduction skills.
"'Course The Zeke's been better afore, but…"
Bridgette leaned forward and gave him a light hug around the shoulders as he trailed off. "Oh Zeke, I am so sorry about what happened back there on the island. I can't even imagine what you must have been thinking."
"'I should brain myself with jet skis more often if it means the pretty girl will kiss me again'," Noah suggested. Bridgette laughed, but he had meant it. Sort of.
"Seriously," she said to Ezekiel, releasing him and backing away, "if there's anything I can do to make it up to you…"
He smiled at her, blinking. "Ya a'ready brought me back to the infirma-whatsit, homes. You saved me."
"Anyone would have done the same."
"Courtney, Courtney," Noah false-coughed into one hand, and was elbowed in the stomach as a result. He almost fell over, and quickly pressed his hand against the sore spot. Bridgette had pointy elbows. Yeesh.
Bridgette scooped up Ezekiel's hoody from the foot of his bed and held it out to him. "You got tossed on the rocks after you went unconscious. Your arm got scratched - thank goodness that intern was wrong about the sharks - and the sleeve of your hoody got a little torn."
Suddenly she paused, then went on hesitantly with, "I, um… I sewed up the hole while we were waiting for you to wake up here, so if you were wondering about that… It was the least I could do after the allergy issue."
Ezekiel blinked up at her, losing interest in his snot-colored sweatshirt. "You fixed it?"
To Noah's amusement, Bridgette's face flushed over. "Is that weird?"
"Nope, nope." Ezekiel folded up his hoody and smiled at her. "Thanks a lot, Bri'gette. For e'erythin'."
Bridgette said, "I really am glad that you're okay, you know, and I've bothered you enough for one day. Get a little more rest, Zeke, and I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Tonight. The Zeke'll be up again by then, eh? Word!"
Bridgette was leaving, and since Ezekiel probably did need more rest, minor reaction or not, and since there wasn't much more he was going to learn about medical situations by staying here, Noah stood as well.
"See you then, Zeke," Bridgette said, and shot a glance at Noah when there was no response. "Come on, Noah. Say good-bye to him."
He rolled his eyes, a bit amused by her insistence, but did. "Good-bye, Homeschool."
Bridgette shut off the lights and gently closed the door. Once she did she said, "That's it- I'm swearing off peanut butter. That was probably one of the scariest moments of my life. I thought he was going todie."
"Homeschool's fine."
"I know, but I actually thought I might've killed him. So there's Zeke, there's you… Is there anyone else I should know about who has a peanut allergy?"
"It's Tyler, and technically speaking I lost out on a box of donuts because of it."
That seemed to puzzle her, and Noah was just wondering if he should explain or leave it at that when he suddenly stopped and put his fingers to his temples. Thinking, frowning.
"… You know, I feel like I've forgotten to do something really important."
Bridgette looked thoughtfully at the ceiling. "Maybe you're late for the next make-out session with one of your books?"
Okay, that was almost funny. Weird, a little disturbing, but somewhat amusing nonetheless. If, say, Justin had been the one to make the comment, Noah probably would have hit him. But when Bridgette said it, it sounded like lighthearted teasing rather than an insult. Definitely one for his quotebook.
"No, it was…" Noah shook his head. "We're still wearing our life jackets. That must have been it."
Bridgette nodded, and together they went to put the vests away.
True to his word, Ezekiel joined them for dinner, and the taste of strawberries still lingered in his mouth when Noah readied himself for sleep later that night. His green pajama pants were speckled with grit from the knees down, and it took him a moment to remember why that was: The 'rescue mission' on the roof. Harold had never thanked him for that, come to think of it.
Noah brushed his teeth and took out his contacts, and then tripped over a book that he'd left lying on the floor. Absently he offered an apology to Saraswati, first touching the book with his right hand and then touching his own forehead. After that he crawled into bed and fumbled with the drawer on his nightstand. Three small notebooks: One red, one green, one blue. The current page of the red notebook was empty save for one quote that Eva had made ages ago: "I owe you an apology, Fruitcake, but I'm not sorry."
Oh, typical Iron Woman.
Underneath that Noah added Bridgette's line about make-out sessions with books, and then in the green book he scribbled down Zeke brained himself with jet ski, large goose egg, probably not concussion, not much bleeding, allergic reaction to Bridget's peanut butter CPR, in infirmary had normal breathing, normal skin color, normal pulse / Trent flipped jet ski over, didn't see goose egg, probably did get concussion, cut on forehead, bleeding.
That was sort of a habit, really. Noah flipped back through a few of the pages at all the times he had tested his medical knowledge, occasionally on his siblings or on Hildegard. Someday. Someday. It would be a busy lifestyle, but the money would all be worth it.
Noah returned to the last page and frowned at the words jet ski. Again that nagging feeling that he had forgotten to do something. Something very important, something besides the life jackets…
… Ezekiel and Bridgette's jet ski had drifted far out into the lake after they'd capsized. That was it. It was late now, but in the morning he'd let Kevin know. Maybe. It was Chris's jet ski anyway.
His first day at camp, Noah had made a list of all the campers, ranking them on how long he'd thought they'd last, with him on top, of course. The list was completely messed up by this point, since he'd expected Eva to make it to the end - second place, though he'd never tell her now that they'd become such close friends - and since he'd predicted Katie would be voted off first. Bridgette herself was somewhere near the middle, so she'd lasted slightly longer than he'd originally guessed. Giving a slight tsk-tsk of disappointment, Noah filled in her name beside number nine on the next page. He ran his eyes down the list, checking it over…
Suddenly he slapped a hand to his forehead. "We forgot Tyler!"
The self-proclaimed "head intern" Kevin was told about this, though while relaying this information Noah dropped many hints about how tired he was and how he couldn't see well in the dark, headlights or no headlights. That first one was at least true to some degree.
After that he returned to his room and burrowed down into his blankets, content to sleep. Old habits were hard to break, especially ones that had lasted eleven years, but eventually Noah was able to drift off despite the eerie quiet of his room. He dreamed of something red and white (candy canes, maybe?) but whatever the dream was he forgot it when he woke up, and it was morning.
Most of the following day and the next was spent as it usually was, in the card room, glaring at Justin over Go Fish, Seep, Scrabble, Parcheesi, and later Bartok. Both of them were fiercely competitive when it came to these things. Noah didn't care much for the games themselves (other than Seep, because Canadian-born or not his mother had raised him to have Indian pride with that game) nearly as much as he cared about winning against Justin. As far as Noah was concerned the model wasn't good for much of anything, and besides "looking pretty", card games were the one thing at which Justin seemed to excel. Beating him at his own game so to speak wasn't always easy, but it was always satisfying. They probably drove their fellow players Katie and Sadie crazy with all the shouting matches they could get into.
They weren't the only ones shouting either. Instead of watching the competition on the live cameras, someone had adjusted the TV screen so that it could play "The Lion King". Apparently Ezekiel was too homeschooled to have ever seen it before, because he began freaking out when he saw the wildebeest stampede.
"They're gonna run him o'er, homie! He's gonna die, he's gonna die!"
Beth was on the couch with him, and she reached out a calming hand, saying, "Zeke, the whole story's about him. He's not going to die."
"And that big lion! The dark one! He's just standin' there and watchin'! While poor Simba's gonna get himself all run o'er!"
He was in legitimate tears when Mufasa fell from the cliff. Bridgette tried to help soothe him, but Ezekiel took off from the room running. His hands were clamped over his ears and he was screaming something about horses.
"What?" Noah said suddenly, blinking as he stared down at the table. "It's over? Who won?"
"Me," Sadie said, and she was peering at him curiously. Then she shook her head. "I'm willing to play again. Gotta defend my title. Any takers?"
No one answered her, because there was a hiss from behind her - some sort of aerosol can or something - and a sudden pink mist began filling the room. Halfway between the couch and the door Beth collapsed in a fit of coughing, followed by Bridgette and then by Katie and Sadie, who fell down almost simultaneously. Noah scrambled from his chair, his hands pressed over his mouth and nose, but he was too late.
The most irritating thing was that he didn't even last long enough to watch Justin fall before his own eyes slid shut and he toppled over.
His sleep wasn't dreamless. He knew there was something there, though it was long gone by the time he woke. Blinking long, slow blinks. The lights were on. Dim, but on nonetheless if the red backs of his eyelids were to be believed. Noah loved his sisters, but he rarely found sharing the one huge bedroom with the three of them to be enjoyable.
That was what came of being the lastling, of course. Nothing was your own. And though his parents always coaxed him to drag his bed back into what had morphed into the junk room, he much preferred being with his sisters because apart from his dad's laptop they had the only computer in the house up here, and so long as he never left this room there was never any risk of him being locked out. In the summer he could spend days in there, leaving only for short bathroom breaks and, if he were really daring, the occasional charge down the stairs, into the fridge, and up again before they could tackle him into the wall.
Anyway, Violet was the early riser in the family, and she'd probably turned the lights on just to spite them all. Gracie wouldn't be long in joining her, and then Amanda would follow, with he himself the last of all, only rolling from bed once he'd grown tired of being bundled in warm blankets and trying to fall back asleep.
Apparently that time was now, because he was cold. The sheets must have fallen to the ground during the night. Either that or Amanda had stolen them as spoils of war to add to her own bed. If she was even in her own bed- it was always possible that she and Violet had sister-mobbed him again. Groaning softly and still blinking, Noah put his hands to the mattress and pushed himself up into a cobra-like pose.
There was no mattress. Only a hard surface beneath his palms, like he'd fallen to the floor.
And he… he couldn't see…?
Another moan. Noah placed one wrist against an eye socket. "Please don't tell me I fell asleep with my contacts in again," he mumbled to himself. His vision began to come back in small bits and pieces as he continued blinking, the contacts rubbing slightly against his eyelids. Still groggy, Noah stretched out one arm, reaching out of habit for one of the books he always kept on his nightstand. Nikki had liked to read herself to sleep, but Noah liked to read himself awake.
His hand closed on empty air.
"What? Wait, where are my… Okay, no blankets, no books…" Noah blinked again, trying to paint the scene into order in his head. "I'm out in the bushes all alone…" Raising his voice Noah shouted, "Homeschool! Homeschool, I know this was your doing, and it's not funny! And this after I waited for you to recover from the whole peanut-butter incident two days ago?"
Had it been two days ago? This seemed like dawn, after all. Bleary as the sky was.
"I know you can hear me, Homeschool!"
Noah lifted his right hand to scrub at his eyes. A flash shot through him when something cold and sharp sunk into his wrist as he moved.
"What the-?" he muttered, staring rather stupidly at his hand. "Handcuffs? Oh, this day keeps getting better and better, doesn't it?"
The handcuffs were attached to…
What, are you kidding me?
"Okay, okay, Bridgette."
He was handcuffed to Bridgette. Handcuffed to Bridgette. First the knock-out gas and now this. So someone had physically dragged him out here, out into the bushes by the poolside, and handcuffed him to Bridgette while he was sleeping. Noah felt entirely violated.
Wait a minute. If Bridgette was here, they were handcuffed together, and they had been sleeping…
His warm Indian blood ran through and through with chills.
Noah was a cuddly sleeper. He just was (unfortunately Cody could attest to this), and he blamed his sister Amanda entirely for it. So had he actually…?
It wasn't so much that he was opposed to the idea of a hug - or cuddle - nearly as much as he was opposed to the idea that he had been doing it unconsciously, and especially to someone who wasn't Amanda, wasn't any of his own sisters, wasn't someone he even really knew. Just the idea that his arms may have been tangled around her, that he may have been feeling her breathe, been feeding off her warmth, his hands pressed against her skin, their faces so close, so close… It sent tiny shivers down his spine. Little uh-oh sparks that prickled the hairs on the back of his neck.
Dad would skin me alive if he found out. I'm dead as it is after the Cody incident. Amanda might let it pass, and Gracie too, and maybe, maybe Violet if I'm lucky, but Caspian… Oha larake!
At least he had woken before she had. Count his blessings, that sort of thing.
"Hey," Noah said softly, taking hold of Bridgette's uncuffed hand. "Hey, wake up, you. Wake up, Bridgette." He dropped her hand onto her own face, checking to see if she was still sleeping- and thank heaven she was. Two heavens, even. Thank Saraswati, Lakshmi, Brahma, or whoever the heck was out there that he was supposed to care about. He hadn't been caught.
"Huh. He doesn't really look like my little puppy-dog either."
It startled him, the sudden voice, and Noah glanced back over his shoulder. "Lindsay-" he began, and then, "Oh. There you are, Homeschool."
They were peering at him through the bushes, and Ezekiel seemed to read his mind. "T'wasn't me who did it, homes," he protested, raising his left hand. Lindsay's right hand went up with it; she was cuffed to him. "The Zeke just woke up out here a second ago, eh. Without any idea how he got there or nothin'."
"Do I sleepwalk? My sisters say I sleepwalk sometimes, because once I had this dream about the mall, and it was like I was sleep shopping."
Noah sat back slowly and reached both hands up to his face. "I have no idea what's going on here," he confessed. He hated that he had to. "The last thing I remember was sitting in the card room, and the next thing I know I'm here, it's morning, and I'm handcuffed to someone I hardly know who also happens to be unconscious." More quietly he added, "It's like Halloween all over again."
Because, really, it was like Halloween all over again, several years prior. Julia and Daniel had thought they were so funny.
Lindsay again: "Wouldn't that be, like, so cool if you could sleep shop? Then you would never even have to leave the mall!"
Yes, Lindsay, itwouldbe great if you never left the mall. You know what would be even better? If we actually-
"Good morning, ex-campers!"
Noah and Ezekiel both jumped at the shoulders, but Lindsay merely tilted her head, thinking hard.
Don't hurt yourself, honey.
"Oh, I think that's… the other Chip! Is he your twin?" she asked Ezekiel, who stared back at her sadly. "Well, whatever. The important thing is, he's come looking for us. Chip, over here!"
Close enough.
Ezekiel and Lindsay helped Noah move the still-sleeping Bridgette from the bushes and out into the open plaza. Noah kept his eyes trained on Chris, trying to decide what he was up to now. To his knowledge, this was the first time Chris had visited Playa Des Losers- and he himself had been here since the beginning. Stupid dodgeball.
They weren't alone; all of the others were out there too. Cody and Sadie were chained together, as were Katie and Trent. Beth was hugging Justin, much to his irritation. Courtney was sitting on the ground with Tyler leaning against her shoulder. Eva was carrying a sleeping Harold. That was one thing to be grateful for, at least- he hadn't been cuddling Eva. He might not have been the first to wake up then. Who knew? Maybe he wouldn't have woken up at all. A frightening thought to be sure, and probably a false one, but Noah wasn't too fond of taking chances. Prior planning, that sort of thing…
Chris had been saying something, and Courtney snapped a reply of "What's the big idea here? We've been kicked off that stupid island already. You can't do this us anymore!"
"That's a funny thing about fine print, really. See, we had to punish a couple of interns who stole my jet skis couple days ago, and so we're a little short on hands today. Heh heh. Handcuffs." Chris shook his head and skimmed the small crowd with his eyes. "Anyway, I've had this idea for the final-six challenge, and since we've lost some interns, you guys and gals are going to be helping me test it out to be sure it's possible and survivable and those sorts of legal-type things."
Noah looked back at Bridgette. Well, this is going to be fun.
Eva: "Did you have to pair me with Red?"
"Yeah… I had one of our few remaining interns cuff you up in a way he thought would be 'interesting', so if you don't like your new friend then you should really try taking that up with him."
Noah wondered if it had been Kevin. Mental thanks to you if so, bro. Thank you, thank you for not pairing me with Eva or Cody or Harold.
"Did you drug us?" he asked, and reached out to poke Bridgette's cheek. After that he gently brushed at her ear, and she finally started to stir.
"Knock-out gas. We had some left over from, well, one of our previous challenges, more or less, and I really hate to be wasteful. Should wear off within a few more minutes. Are there any other questions?"
Bridgette slowly blinked, noticed his face, and gave him a puzzled stare. Then she saw Chris and the others standing behind him. Then she looked at her wrist. Then she shrugged.
"Okay… Sure. Why not?"
Noah sat back a little more on his heels, slightly pulling her arm as he moved. "You're taking this rather well."
"I guess after Wawanakwa I'm used to it."
Voices sounded like drums behind them, arguing for explanations. Noah heard Courtney say something about how they couldn't be forced to do this, and Chris said, "Okay, okay, fine. I'll tell you what- You people do this for me and I'll forget that you all stole my jet skis. Anyone who drops out will be forced to take responsibility for it, but they won't have to participate in this little challenge. There, now it's optional. Happy?"
Noah briefly gave Bridgette a rundown of what happened, which included "I woke up a few minutes ago out here to Chris's sickening smile and our hands cuffed together," and left out any mention of cuddling. If there had been at all. Probably was.
"Raw cookie dough?" Ezekiel suddenly asked, and Noah and Bridgette both looked up to see Chris waving happily at the buffet table on his right.
"Your first task is the eating challenge. Each team will be made up of a feeder and an eater. Eaters must put both hands behind their back, which will, of course, make things more difficult for the feeders. Feeders will spoon pudding into the eaters' mouths, followed by the entire tray of, yes, Zeke, raw sugar cookie dough, one at a time. Winner is the first team to finish."
Noah exchanged a glance with Bridgette. She shrugged and said, "Whatever, I guess. Do we really have a choice?"
Because he didn't want to take responsibility for stealing jet skis - especially since it was probably Ezekiel's fault rather than the interns' and the poor guy had a rough enough life as it was - Noah agreed.
"Oh, don't worry," Chris said, baring his teeth in an evil sort of smile, "Your friends back at base camp will be served something a lot less pleasing to the taste buds, but hey, rotten chickens don't just grow on trees, know what I'm saying?"
Chicken was bad enough on its own. Rotten chicken? Ooh. Maybe he should be glad he'd dropped out early. His family didn't really… eat… meat.
Courtney, ever the fierce competitor, gave the unconscious Tyler a shake by the shoulders. "Chris, Bridgette and Harold have already woken up, but my partner is unable to participate. I refuse to be put at an unfair disadvantage."
"Well, you've got a few more minutes to get him up and running as the other teams decide who will feed and who will eat, but hey. Ain't my fault."
A wave of noise drowned out Courtney's protests. It seemed that everyone wanted to be the one who was spoon-fed chocolate pudding and raw cookie dough. No shame in that.
"Since you probably don't want to get fat," Noah told Bridgette, smirking a bit, "I'll volunteer to be the eater."
Bridgette looked as though she might protest, then stopped, then made up her mind. Either she actually was concerned about her weight or she just wanted to play nice and avoid an argument, because she said, "All right," and pulled him over to the table. No, she was so different from Eva.
"And… begin!"
Bridgette chuckled as she offered Noah the spoon. "This is so ridiculous."
"I feel like I'm two years old again," he replied, accepting another bite of pudding.
"Owen's going to win this challenge for sure."
"Probably."
It was a race, and they didn't win it. Bridgette tried to work quickly, but Eva had been faster, stuffing Harold's face despite his protests, and Noah and Bridgette were only halfway through their cookie dough when Chris declared them the winners.
Noah ran his tongue around his mouth, then scrubbed it with the back of his free hand. "Delicious."
Bridgette shook her head in clear amusement. "However awkward that was for you, it had to have been three times more awkward for me. Was it really chocolate?"
He hadn't even thought it could be a trick when he'd volunteered. "It tasted like chocolate," he said slowly, "but knowing Chris, I wouldn't be surprised if he put laxatives or something in it too."
Bridgette looked at their cuffed hands. "I doubt it."
"Do you? Really?"
"He wouldn't," she said again, but Noah could see through her fake confidence. They studied each other's eyes.
"I feel fine," he said, and lifted their hands to point one finger. "Guess we should follow the others."
"Guess so."
So they did.
Tyler still hadn't woken up, and Courtney almost looked close to tears about it. "A canoe race to Boney Island? Are you kidding me? That will take forever! We're on the opposite side of the island, andhello, I'm stuck with a deadweight here!"
Bridgette, however, grinned at Noah. "Sweet, I'm really good with canoes." They exchanged high-fives with their free hands. After that they were told to put on life jackets. When Noah pointed out that doing so with their hands cuffed together was physically impossible, Chris rolled his eyes and unlocked them one by one. This made them 'pathetic losers', apparently. Noah massaged his right wrist, taking advantage of its brief freedom, but then he and Bridgette were joined again.
Their fingers limply dangled only a few inches apart, close enough that they could have touched if they both reached out. Again Noah mentally ran through the possibility of 'crush'. Same old heartbeat. No trembling in his hands. No knocking knees. No desperation to reach out and touch her. To hug her. Definitely none to kiss her. No self-consciousness. Well, there was some self-consciousness, but Noah was sure he would have felt the same way no matter who he was handcuffed to. Who wouldn't? But he still couldn't find anything that relatively resembled 'crush'. Whatever, then.
Bridgette tripped once as they walked to their canoe, bringing Noah down with her, and suddenly Lindsay had lunged for them. She scrubbed furiously at Noah's hair and then Bridgette's before Ezekiel finally managed to pull her away.
I repeat: Whatever. At least I didn't get paired with her.
"Sorry, sorry," Bridgette mumbled, pulling Noah back up to his feet by their handcuffs. She handed him a rubber oar and, moving slowly, arms outstretched for balance, the two of them stepped into a green canoe. Noah took the front because, according to Bridgette, the strongest paddler should sit in the back. Noah didn't argue with her, even though it meant his right hand had to be held out behind him as they struck out for Boney Island.
"This is so ridiculous." Bridgette said again as they went.
"Definitely." Noah glanced back over his shoulder. Sadie and Cody were coming up on their right. They were struggling, but Ezekiel, behind them, seemed to be struggling more. He and Lindsay appeared to be drawing circles over the smooth lake water. That wasn't too surprisingly, really, since Lindsay wasn't putting forth any effort at all and instead seemed to be braiding Ezekiel's hair-
"Noah, we're veering left."
He blinked and looked back at his oar, then twisted a bit and gave a stronger stroke through the water. "Of course- excuse me. It's a little difficult to paddle one-handedly left-handedly back-handedly. Just a little."
"Just a little," she agreed with a grin.
Somehow, though, the two of them arrived at Boney Island not long after Cody and Sadie, though quite awhile after Beth and Justin and Eva and Harold.
"What are we doing?" Bridgette wondered aloud. There were carved… things everywhere. Tables had been set up, and each one of them was covered in what seemed to be dozens of wooden heads. Their heads. Chris briefly explained to them that they were building Totem Poles of Shame and were to put campers in the order of who had been voted out, and then ran off to laugh at Katie and Trent, whose canoe had capsized a mere several meters from the shore.
"This won't be too hard," Noah told Bridgette. "Zeke was first, then Eva, then me. Then Justin."
"Honestly, I might be a liability here." Bridgette searched for the heads in the pile with her left hand, and so Noah searched the other side with his right. She found Ezekiel's face, and Noah stacked Eva's on top of it, slotting a hole on the bottom over the tip of Ezekiel's toque.
"You can have the honors with this one," Bridgette teased him then, holding out one of his own faces. Noah took it with a shake of his head.
"This is so detailed, I'm kind of disturbed by it." He put it on top of Eva's head and took half a step back to look at the three of them. Had there really only been three of them back at the beginning? These days Playa Des Losers was more crowded than his own house during a family reunion.
Bridgette asked, "So who came after Justin?"
"… I don't know." Noah rubbed his forehead with his free hand. "Let's see… Tyler?"
Bridgette stacked on one of Tyler's faces. "The phobia challenge, and after him it was… It was…"
Another canoe joined them at the beach as they stood there, chewing their lips. It was Courtney and the still-unconscious Tyler, but he looked like he was finally starting to wake.
Noah shook his head to show that he didn't remember. "Cody came after Izzy- I remember that much. You came after Trent and Lindsay came after you. Courtney got here before Harold. Eva went back into the competition and got herself eliminated again."
Bridgette reached for her hoody pocket, then checked her jeans. "Do you have a pen on you?"
"Does an EpiPen count?"
She laughed. "Let's hope we won't need it this time."
"A right, let's see… Cody after Izzy. Harold after Courtney. Trent and me and Lindsay."
"Katie," Noah said suddenly, picking up another head. "We forgot Katie. She got here before Tyler- I remember now."
"That's right! Sadie wouldn't stop sobbing about it."
Ezekiel and Lindsay scrambled from their canoe and stumbled over to a table.
"Everyone's here now," Bridgette said, grabbing for another head. "We have to hurry."
"Why?"
Noah thought it was a fair question, but Bridgette shot him a puzzled look.
"There's not really much point in hurrying. This isn't real."
"True… But I'd hate to get last and be blamed for stealing Chris's jet skis."
"Good argument," Noah said, and they went back to work. Izzy had come after Tyler, with Cody and Beth just after her. Then it had been Sadie.
Chris called out, "You have twenty minutes remaining. Winner is whoever has the most poles finished by then."
"Winner of what?" muttered Noah, but he passed Bridgette Harold's head. No explaining Chris when he slipped into host-mode.
"Eva after that." Bridgette gave a shiver. "Trent was out right before me after the Heather-kissing incident. Then there's me of course, and then Lindsay."
"I think that's everyone. We'll start with Zeke again." Noah put another of Ezekiel's faces on the table, with Eva and then him on top. Again.
Since they had their first totem for reference, and they were both pretty sure that it was accurate, the going went smoother. It was almost sort of fun now, the two of them working together, solving the puzzle like this. Justin, Katie, Tyler, Izzy, Cody, Beth… Beth…
"I can't find Beth," Noah grumbled, shifting through the pile. "I see Eva, Eva, Lindsay, Tyler, you, me, and another Eva, but I don't see Beth."
"Let's see. Trent, Katie… Ah, here's one." Bridgette slotted Beth's face into place. "Okay, Sadie next, right? Then Courtney and Harold. Eva."
"Oh my gosh!" Lindsay shrieked, "I was right! Zach thinks that Courtney is hot!"
Noah glanced up, unconcerned, to see a disgusted Courtney hurl an Izzy head at Ezekiel. It smacked him on the forehead.
"Youch!"
"Sexist little creep! Gross!"
"Well, well, well," Noah murmured, turning back to their totem. Bridgette was just stretching up to put Lindsay's head on top. The tip of her tongue had caught in the corner of her mouth and she balanced on tip-toes. Fortunately, she reached with her uncuffed right hand, so Noah searched out another Ezekiel face. Then Eva. Then him.
They were really into it now. Their pile of heads was growing smaller, making it easy to find the faces they were looking for. Even chained, their hands were flying. Noah would add one head just in time for Bridgette to slam on the next. The next totem pole was finished, and then the next. Another.
"We've nearly run out of heads," Bridgette announced, the second before Chris called 'Time'. They had eight totems. Eva and Harold had seven and a half. Ezekiel and Lindsay had six with Katie and Trent at five. Beth and Justin had four, and so did Courtney and Tyler. Cody and Sadie had stacked up to Beth and apparently given up.
We… won? Huh.
"Yes! We won! We won!" Bridgette clapped her hands. Much to Noah's surprise, she grabbed him beneath the arms, lifted him a bit in the air, and gave him a brief twirl. "Heh! If this were the real competition, you and I would probably make one heck of a team!"
"Uh, yeah, it would seem so."
Suddenly Bridgette seemed to realize what she was doing. She put Noah back on the ground, her face turning pink. "Um… sorry. That was… Sorry."
A little bit of self-consciousness over what had just happened, but he still had the same old heartbeat. Still no trembling in his hands. No knocking knees. And when they'd touched there had been no explosions or fireworks or whatever. Not for him. Not that he could tell, anyway. Or maybe he was wrong. Sometimes even he was wrong. Not often, but it did happen sometimes. Maybe he was just trying too hard and he'd overlooked something.
"All right, all right people, that's enough. Back to your canoes already. One of the interns will unlock your handcuffs when you get back to the mainland. You're all off duty now. Except for you," continued Chris, frowning at Cody and Sadie. "Since your team didn't finish even one totem - for shame - you two get to stay here until you're finished cleaning up all these… head things."
Sucks to be you, Noah thought with amusement as the two stared around at all the carvings. There had to be hundreds of them. If carving heads had been the interns' punishment for stealing jet-skis, it was an awfully harsh one. Good craftmanship, though.
Their canoes were still lined up in rows like watchtowers along the beach. Noah stepped into theirs and it swayed beneath his feet. He reached out behind him, offering his hand to Bridgette.
"Remember the last time we left this island?"
She laughed. "Don't worry, I haven't touched peanut butter since that whole incident with Zeke." Bridgette took his wrist and he helped her into the canoe. Again it rocked and Noah was worried that it might tip, but its balance held.
Ezekiel and Lindsay were pushing the canoe beside them out into the water. Noah heard Lindsay murmur, "Aw, that's so sweet of him," and then, "Huh. Jason over there isn't being nearly as nice to Beth. Instead of helping her in, he's acting like she isn't even there. He's like… the Anti-Noah."
The 'Anti-Me'?
Ezekiel mumbled something back to Lindsay that Noah didn't quite catch, because he and Bridgette had just put their oars into the water and shoved off.
"It'll be nice to be back at the hotel," Bridgette said. "No offense to you, Noah, but I would not want to be handcuffed to you for the rest of the day."
"Same here," he said, shooting her a smirk. "I hate it when people read over my shoulders."
An amused head-shake. "Does that happen often?"
"Surprisingly. I swear Justin - the 'Anti-Me', I suppose - does it on purpose just to irritate me. He'll stand there and breathe on the back of my neck and it's disgusting. And Sadie likes to play with my hair." Noah rolled his eyes and thrust his oar back into the lake. "Seriously. It's so annoying. I'm glad I didn't get paired with either one of them." Then he found himself pausing. "… Why didn't I get paired with either one of them?"
"Huh?"
"Chris said something back at the pool about how one of the interns cuffed us together in a way he thought would be 'interesting'. I suppose Beth fawning over Justin is more interesting than me and him refusing to participate whatsoever, thank heaven. You were a much better partner than he would've been, Bridgette. It was a real pleasure doing business with you."
"Same," she said, and she held out her hand again. She was smiling. They shook on it, shaking their heads a bit, and paddled their canoe back to shore. It took a long time, but eventually they reached it. A red canoe already lay beached in the sand: Evidently Eva and Harold had gotten here first, but they were long gone by now. Noah climbed from the canoe's front, moving slowly to avoid tripping Bridgette. She did trip as they headed towards the dock, but once was all.
It was Kevin who was waiting for them with the handcuff keys, and he gave Noah a wink when he saw him. "So how'd it go?"
"Meh," Noah said, shrugging. "We won that second challenge."
"Way to go, dude. Carving those took fifteen of us two days and was a freakin' nightmare." They held out their hands as Kevin fumbled with the key ring. "It was stupid to have a different key for everyone," he grumbled, trying another, "but maybe Chris's planning to use 'em in a future challenge or something."
Heavy footsteps sounded on the dock behind them. Noah heard a loud gasp, followed by Ezekiel's shout of, "No, Lindsay-dawg! He's not-"
Someone slammed into him from behind. Noah stumbled forward, catching his balance against Kevin, and twisted instinctively to find out what had just happened. A hand slapped on either one of his cheeks, pulling him close, and Noah found himself staring into a pair of bright blue eyes. Blue, but déjà vu nonetheless, and his response was automatic. Noah used both of his hands - and by extent one of Bridgette's - to try and shove Lindsay away from him, tried to remember how to speak, tried to tell her to leave him alone, but nothing he did seemed to have any effect. She leaned forward, lips parted, fingernails pricking into his skin, forcing his eyes to close in response. The hands slid back to behind his head, pulling him even closer, and in an instant Lindsay had swept him up into a one-sided kiss.
Noah's first thoughts were absolute gibberish. Something along the very intelligent lines of, Ah ga ba no no no ack huh ju no ah which was followed by, My dad'd kill me if he found out, I said no, Sophie, So this is how Trent felt, and then by, Lindsay, you have no idea how much you disgust me right now.
Then his fingers could twitch, and he put his hands on Lindsay's lifevested'd shoulders. Or rather, on one of Ezekiel's hands and one of Bridgette's, which were in turn on Lindsay's lifevested'd shoulders, the both of them trying to pull her away. Noah heard the words, "He's not Tyler!" more than once, but Lindsay seemed oblivious. She pulled away at last, at last, but then leaned forward again, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, crushing his throat, nestling her head against his shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Teddy! All this time I thought you were Noah!"
"I…"
Kevin shot Noah a look of surprise as he worked to separate Lindsay from Ezekiel. "You could have taken advantage of her," he murmured. "That's what I would've done if your shoes were on my feet. But you didn't."
"I have… morals?"
"Hey, you do what works for you, man."
Lindsay stared at him, horrifically confused. Ezekiel hovered nearby with a look of sheer terror on his face. Kevin uncuffed them, he and Bridgette, and Bridgette, after giving Noah a glance that said, Let's pretend that never happened, took Lindsay's hand and led her back to the canoes on the beach. Waiting for Courtney to row back in with Tyler.
My dad'd kill me if he found out. And then Sophie would probably kill me again.
That didn't happen. That couldn't have happened. No no no! That's not fair! I didn't want that! I didn't want that at all! Technically speaking that was my first kiss, and it was… I didn't have a choice! I wasn't ready! I don't even like her!
I feel so violated.
Ezekiel still kept his distance, probably worried about Noah lashing out at him. He said, "Yo, are ya feelin' all right, homes? You're lookin' a little… green, eh?"
Noah gazed down at his hands. His uncuffed hands. Through gritted teeth he growled out, "My first kiss, and it's from some… talkative, brainless, hyperactive, memory-challenged girl that I don't even know." He put the hands to his face, digging his palms into his eye sockets. "Please… don't tell Tyler. I've had enough humiliation for one week."
Tyler. Oh, Tyler would kill him before his dad or Sophie even got the chance. Noah didn't think 'It was an accident' was going to cover it.
Oha larake.
Heartbeat? Perhaps a bit frantic. Trembling hands? Maybe a little. Knocking knees? Possibly. Self-consciousness? Definitely.
What a stupid joke.
Noah felt… disconnected the rest of the day, like he didn't know what to do with himself. He found that he couldn't focus on his reading- neither science fiction nor fantasy nor medical terms could hold his attention for long. Eva needed someone to rant to, so he sat with her for some time, offering the occasional "Mmhmm" until she realized he wasn't paying her any attention.
"What's your problem?" she demanded, tipping back the brim of her purple Sasquatch hat with one dumbbell. "I keep you around for my amusement, Fruitcake, and if you're going to sit there forever and not say anything sarcastic or funny, then you have no purpose in life. Go sulk somewhere else."
"Am I sulking?" he asked, taking his fist from his chin, and Eva shot him a look.
"You're kidding, right?"
"Actually, I'm thinking of all the ways it would be possible to maim Lindsay."
"Please don't. She'll cry. And then I'll get mad and end up doing something I regret, like crush your skull or something."
Noah leaned back on his hands in the grass, frowning up at the sky. "Crush."
Eva went cross-eyed then, both of them silent for a long moment, before she spoke again. She said, "Don't tell me that's why you're sulking."
"Hm?"
"You have a crush on someone, Fruitcake."
"You wish."
"Huh? Why would I even want that?"
"I… don't know. That probably wasn't my best retort for this situation. That would've worked better on my sisters."
Eva leaned against the nearest tree, her head resting against the crook of her arm. "Fruitcake, in case you've somehow failed to notice, I'm a girl."
"I haven't failed to notice that. And your point is…?"
"I'm a girl, and even I can recognize a crush when I see one."
"Oh, good." Noah pointed a finger gun at her. "Define that word for me, would you?"
"What, like…" Eva knit her brows. The request was clearly more of a struggle for her than she really cared to admit through words. "I don't know. Like… love? And stuff? I mean, I've dated guys before. I broke up with them because they turned out to be jerks, but I dated them. That's a crush, right?"
"Why are you asking me? I asked you."
Eva upturned her palms. Hey, seriously? "I thought you were supposed to be smart. You're, what, sixteen, right? And you're saying that you don't know what a crush is?"
"Oh, I know what one is. I have eight older siblings, after all- five of whom are girls. Who enjoy staying up until three in the morning chatting about these crushes of theirs."
She pulled a face. "Yeesh, even my sister never did that before she ran off with her boyfriend. That must suck."
"You have no idea." Noah put together his fingers so that his hand resembled a sock puppet. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah… "Anyway, the best response my siblings could give me when I asked was, 'You'll understand when you get one'. You see, there's a girl here that I've sort of been spending some time with lately and I'm trying to decide if I have a crush on her. Seeing as you're the closest thing I have to a sister right now… I guess I figured I'd ask for advice. Thoughts?"
"It's not me, is it? Please say it's not me."
It was his turn to look at her and say, "You're kidding, right? I thought we both agreed our quote-unquote 'love' was different from romance. Aren't we more like siblings nowadays?"
She shrugged and stuffed her furry hat on his head. "Why are you asking me? I asked you."
Noah rolled his eyes. Lacing his fingers together behind his neck, he crossed his right leg over his left knee and gazed up into the fluffy gray clouds. "You're a huge help, you know that, Lady Tank?"
"Is your crush bigger or smaller than a breadbox?"
"Eva, I am quite possibly struggling with self-identity here. Can't you at least pretend to be serious? For my sake?"
"I am being serious! So…" She scratched her head, frowning thoughtfully. "How much do you like this girl?"
"I honestly have no idea."
"Playing Twenty Questions with you isn't going to work, is it?"
Again he rolled his eyes. "There's a girl I know who's smart, witty, caring, funny, and, as an added bonus, she's even kind of pretty. According to my sisters, every time I look at or even think of her my brain should go fuzzy and my heartbeat should speed up and my fingers should tremble and I should be overly self-conscious about everything. Is that actually true, or has everything I've ever been told and read about and watched on TV really been a big, fat joke on Noah Aruna Colby?"
Eva scratched her head a second time. "Geez. I don't know. I guess so. Maybe it's different for everyone. You might be better off asking Trent or Cody this kind of stuff. I'm a girl and they're boys. It could be a gender thing."
"Well, how do you feel when you look at Justin?"
"Hey, that's completely different," she protested, glowering at him. "He has a gift. It doesn't count."
"All right, touchy."
She rolled her eyes like he just had, too. "Well, back to brain fuzziness and self-consciousness or whatever. If that's how you feel when you see her, then yeah, I think we can confirm you prob'ly like her."
He frowned. "So, what if I don't feel that way?"
"But you just said… Well, then how do you feel?"
"I don't know. Nothing."
"How can you feel 'Nothing'?"
Noah shook his head. "I don't not like her. But I don't seem to like her like her, either."
"Wait. You're confusing me, Fruitcake. Somewhere along this conversation, I fell off the turnip truck."
"It's like…" Noah held out his hands, weighing two invisible boxes. "I see her and I think, 'Oh, I know you. I know what your name is. The last time I saw you was just an hour ago, when you were… eating food'. Or whatever she was doing. That's it. No 'heart flutters' or obsessive self-consciousness to be found. I don't have some creepy urge to run my fingers through her hair. I don't want to wiggle my eyebrows and lure her into kissing me. I enjoy sitting and talking with her, and there's no uncontrollable feeling inside me screaming to take her hand and lead her over to the tennis court and do more than… look at her. And I don't even want that, really."
Eva was staring with her head to the left now, so Noah figured she deserved a better explanation. He spoke slowly so she would understand.
"My brain tells me that we make sense. She's smart. Smarts are good. She's proved that she's caring, so she wins tons of bonus points for that. She's witty and funny. That impresses me. She's also pretty, so there's that too. It's just that after what I've heard from my siblings… I was expecting to feel some sort of connection with her, but every time I look at her… she's just there. She feels…"
Noah chewed his cheek. Sitting up, scratching grass from his sleeves, he said, "She feels to me sort of like you do, Eva. Just without all the good memories since I've been around you so much longer than I've been around her. I sort of mentioned it once before, when you locked me in the gym for twelve hours and then stood outside to laugh at me, thanks, but you actually do something that my family would claim is impossible- You make me happy when you're around. You can make me smile and even laugh. I think I'll actually miss you when this all comes crumbling down and we split off for home."
Her lips twitched. She'd stopped pumping her dumbbells up and down. "Are you… dumping me, Fruitcake? You haven't even asked me out yet."
"I can't dump my surrogate sister, Eva. You're my best friend." Rubbing his temples, Noah flopped back into the grass. The brim of the purple hat bent slightly beneath his head. "But friendship's just a thing in our heads. It's a label smacked on to a group of people who happen to be seen around each other often. If we move on to the rest of my body, my heart doesn't flutter when I see you smirk and cock your Sasquatch hat in the doorway of the card room. My fingers don't tremble when you grab me in a headlock. My knees don't bump together when you come slogging out of the pool waving Ezekiel's stolen hat over your head. There has never in my life been any person who takes my breath away like that."
Eva rubbed her thumb across her chin. She studied him, neither offended nor interested. "Well, either you're joking or you're a late bloomer or something. You can't just… not feel… anything. I mean, what? That just doesn't happen. You're sixteen. Hormonal and wandering around a resort full of other sixteen-year-olds. And a lot of 'em wear bathing suits that don't quite cover certain areas whole, and I know you know what I mean."
"I want to like her," Noah said stubbornly, crossing his arms. "She seems like such a good person. I just… It's almost as if I can't like her. As if I literally can't. There's just nothing."
She considered this for another silent moment while he watched her light eyes. Then she said, "I guess that sucks for you, then. Y'know, I've always suspected you didn't have a heart."
Ouch. That actually did break it.
The barbecue sizzled loud and proud that evening, wisps of smoke curling away into the air end over end. One of the interns was turning hamburger patties over with a spatula, setting them on a paper plate when they were finished so that the line of teenagers on the other side of the counter could have easy access to them.
Noah passed on that, opting instead to snatch bits of fruit and bread from the buffet table. He was somewhat surprised when Bridgette joined him. Grapes, bananas, strawberries, apples, carrots, rolls. Their paper plates looked almost identical as they filled up, and he found his tongue dabbing back and forth across his lips.
There's no way you're vegetarian. Please don't tell me you're vegetarian. You're going to drive me crazy.
Smart, caring, pretty, funny, and a vegetarian? No one could be that perfect. No one. She had to have flaws. Everyone had flaws…
She'd hit him in the face with a dodgeball back on the island. There, you almost couldn't have a bigger flaw than that.
Bridgette cast an absent glance at his plate, then stopped and arched her left eyebrow. "There's no way you're vegetarian."
"Why can't I be vegetarian?"
She smiled and shrugged and added papaya slices to her plate - again, Noah passed on those. "I've never met a guy who's vegetarian before- just a few of my fellow surfer girls." Bridgette paused. Then she hastily backpedaled with, "I mean, it's cool if you are or aren't, I didn't mean to assume-"
Noah set his plate on the table so he could make air quotes. "Technically I'm 'half-vegetarian'. Technically technically, I'm just a really picky eater who has learned to use vegetarianism as an excuse to avoid the taunting he gets from Homeschool and the Iron Maiden."
Again Bridgette shrugged, smiling. "You surprised me, that's all. Some of the guys I hang out with back home are just really big meat-eaters."
She had practically confirmed it. She was vegetarian. Smart, caring, pretty, funny, and a vegetarian. Could someone spell 'perfection'?
Impossibly, he still had the same old heartbeat. There wasn't the slightest trembling in his hands or knocking in his knees. No fuzziness through his brain. And the only self-consciousness he could feel was about the fact that he was so self-conscious over self-consciousness.
If you're perfect, then why am I not attracted to you?
It didn't. Make. Sense.
Noah mulled over this as he wandered over to sit beside Eva, who was struggling to cut through her food with a plastic knife. She finally shouted, "Aw, forget this!" and proceeded to go at the first steak with only her teeth.
"You're going to bite your tongue off one day, you know," he warned.
"Probably," she agreed, and Noah gave his head an amused shake and popped a strawberry into his mouth. Across the plaza, Bridgette took a seat beside Courtney, and Ezekiel carefully set himself down on her other side. He shifted away when Courtney glared at him, but remained where he was, keeping his eyes on his plate.
Poor guy, Noah thought absently, reflecting back to Lindsay's cry of 'I was right! Zach thinks Courtney is hot!' from earlier that day. Don't you realize that she doesn't like you back?
Knowing that homeschooled kid, the answer was probably 'No'.
Bridgette tucked a few strands of loose hair behind her ear and laughed at whatever Cody had just said as he'd passed by. Ezekiel smiled too, nodding enthusiastically and staying silent.
She has a good sense of humor. She's caring, smart, pretty, and a vegetarian. Everything logical in the world insists that I ought to be attracted to her.
So why was she just there?