A/N: Yes, well, erm, I have no idea what I was smoking when I wrote this.

A lucky cast to change our lives,
And I was the one to roll it.
He looked at me with his big green eyes:
"C'mon, Tulio! Let's go for it!"

We won the bet, and made a dash with the map,
Almost ending up dead!
We snuck on a ship, and guess who was on it:
The famous explorer, Cortez!

He locked us up, in the brig,
And we searched for an escape plan to leave,
Until the stupid horse, Altivo,
Dropped by with some keys.

Lucky seven, up it came.
What do we have to show for it?
A map and a horse and a tiny boat,
With two little oars to row it.

We struck the shore, tired and weak,
But he pulled out that map right fast.
He cried out, "To El Dorado!"
And then the horse bit me on the-

And then there was this jungle,
With an armadillo that followed our path.
Following the map, we found waterfalls, leeches,
And hot springs to take a bath.

So here we are in a clearing,
In front of a rock, and wouldn't you know?
It's clear on the map, in black-and-white:
This rock is El Dorado.

But wait, who's this? Why look, it's
A girl dressed all in white clothing!
"She must be freezing," I thought to myself,
"She's wearing next to nothing!"

Through a great stone cave we went,
Lead by warriors with spears!
They told us to go with them or die.
(I didn't understand them, but that's what I fear.)

Once in El Dorado,
A frightening priest declared,
"These are the gods I predicted!
They are finally here!"

The chief didn't seem to believe,
And so Miguel added his say:
"We'll show you who are true gods!"
And then made me think of a way.

We gave them a demonstration,
Once again fueled by pure luck.
We stayed in the beautiful city of gold,
Hoping to make a buck.

The girl (we learned 'Chel) offered help,
And I liked this girl a lot.
It was plain to see, by the look on his face,
Miguel also thought she was hot.

We decided to party all night,
And ate the food and drank the drinks.
We smoked some cigars (oh man, the colors!)
And being a god is tougher than one may think.

Th priest was always on our case,
Trying to give us sacrifices.
We told him we didn't want them,
But he held the thought in his vices.

During the next few days,
Some major events occurred:
We saved some lives, and won a ball game,
But then Miguel overheard.

You see, I had been, uh, talking to Chel,
And he had seen it all.
I never thought I'd see the day
That my best friend's smile would fall.

We were ready to go, with our gold all set,
But Miguel was still unhappy.
He was distant, forlorn, far away,
And boy, was his mood-

Suddenly a temple erupted,
A giant stone jaguar came out!
We weren't scared for a minute (heh),
But what was this all about?!

We realized this thing was hostile,
And also controlled by the priest!
Actually, come to think of it,
That didn't surprise me in the least.

We ran through the city of gold,
Sitting on top of the horse.
That jaguar simply couldn't be lost:
It easily followed our course.

The evil priest finally showed himself,
Stopping the thing in its tracks.
He cried out, "The time has come!
I can speak my mind, at last!"

"You see, I know for a fact,
That you are not the gods you claim to be!
I saw it myself, with my own eyes!
I saw the blonde one bleed!"

Miguel and I started to 'argue',
Too real for comfort, but working well.
He thought that we were all-out fighting,
And then, down the cenote he fell!

We made it back to the village,
But things were not all right.
Miguel was still thinking
Of all the things said in our 'fight.'

Next morning, Chel and I prepared to go,
Leaving my friend behind.
I would have loved to talk to him,
And say what was on my mind.

The boat was ready to leave,
But a loud report was heard.
It was Cortez, led by the priest,
And a fight was coming, we feared.


I had to come up with a plan, and fast,
But it seemed like the city couldn't be saved.
Then the armadillo showed me the way:
Create our own tidal wave!

We worked out our plan, and quickly.
We didn't have very much time.
God, it's really really hard
To make this stupid poem rhyme.

On the count of three, and on my signal,
We dropped the pillar to make the wave,
But we weren't moving fast enough,
And now our boat needed to be saved!

Miguel, my loyal friend,
Saw that the mission would fail.
And in a feat of pure bravery,
He leapt and lowered our sail.

"Miguel!" I cried out to my partner,
"You must go, and quickly!
If you don't get out of the boat right away,
You won't be coming back to this city."

Miguel simply looked at me.
"You don't understand, my friend.
If I were to stay in the city,
I would never see you again."

I smiled, and handed him an oar.
The time to row was at hand:
The massive tidal wave we created,
Could easily bring our end.

We roared back through the tunnel,
Horse, Chel, armadillo and us.
We coursed through the mountain's inner depths,
With jolting bumps and thrusts.

Finally, the boat lodged itself,
And with a mighty splash,
We flew off, away from the gold,
And El Dorado was shut off with a crash.

Cortez never knew what hit him,
And the same went for the priest.
And, if the truth must be told,
I'm not sorry, in the least.

We were at a loss for action,
But Chel knew the deal.
"C'mon, boys!" she called out to us.
"Let's follow that trail!"

A/N: My God, that was corny.