Craigs POV -

Fuck… photo day was here again. I hated this shit more than anything on the planet. Having a camera pointed at me wasn't my idea of fun, plus I didn't like taking my hat off.

I stood in line waiting for my photo. This year was different. Due to past years where morons had fucked around, the school had banned hats for the day so you could say I was pissed off. I felt naked without my old blue fleece hat, almost vulnerable. It seemed to take ages but I eventually got there, had my photo snapped, collected the prints and went to find something to eat.

I walked toward the cafeteria daydreaming airily about what to have when someone swayed me from my thoughts.

"Hey Stan, where's your fat friend, he's got something of mine." Token explained. I crossed my arms over my chest. Out of a mix of reflex and bad habit my middle finger snapped up.

Token gasped pointing with widened eyes. "Craig…?"

I nodded.

"Sorry dude, I thought you were Stan. Never mind." He explained roaming away.

I turned back in my intended direction, my thoughts no longer on lunch as I was now focusing on how someone could confuse me with Stan Marsh.

Stans POV –

The bell sounded causing all the kids to cheer, chatter and chirp. I sighed as I slowly exited South Park Elementary the photo sleeve tucked under my arm as I walked with my friends.

"Ha! Look at that ginger Jew fro!" Cartman sniggered as Kyle passed his portrait around.

"Fuck you fatass, as least my photo doesn't have more rolls than a Burger King franchise." Kyle shot back. I sighed loudly all eyes turning toward me.

"What's wrong dude?" Kenny queried, easy to understand without the hood on his parka. I stared toward my feet.

"I just know when we get home my mom is gonna make a big deal about how proud she is of her 'handsome little guy' and I really hate that." I explained.

"And what's so wrong with your mom loving you dude?" Kyle quizzed. I glanced at my best friend and bit my lip.

"I got body image issues." I mumbled.

"What?!" Kenny blurted out in shock.

"Ok guys, I don't like how I look… so when my mom says shit like that... I get self conscious." I confessed.

Kenny and Kyle sympathised with me, giving gentle glances, kindness in their eyes. Cartman on the other hand began to laugh and snatched the sleeve from under my arm ripping it open.

My three friends huddled around the portrait and gasped.

"Dude…. It's not even you." Kyle explained clawing the photo from Cartmans grasp and holding it in front of me. I looked on in shock.

"No that's not me." I announced.

"It's the butt licker Craig." Cartman chimed in.

"Without your hats, he looks like you Stan." Kenny added.

"Well, I guess we better go see Craig and get your photos back Stan." Kyle said grabbing my arm and dragging me off toward Craigs house.

I know I had to get my picture back, but why did we have to do it immediately?

Craig's POV –

I heard a knock on my door. I opened it up to see Stan, Kyle, Kenny and Cartman standing on my doorstep. I flipped them the bird.

"What do you guys want?" I asked impatiently. Everytime I had anything to do with these guys it ended up in some horrible situation.

"Listen….. ahh. They made a mistake with the portraits. I've got yours. Dunno why they'd do that, but it happened. So let's swap the photos and we'll be on our way." Stan suggested sternly. I flipped him off.

"I dunno why they'd do that either… but it's not that weird. Token thought I was you today." I explained. Stans eyes widened.

"What the fuck dude?" He whispered, turning to his butt buddy Kyle who shrugged as if he had no clue either.

"Maybe you could stand side by side and Craig could remove his hat." Kenny advised. Both Stan and I agreed. I quickly lifted my hat receiving three wide eyed, open mouthed gawks.

"Are you sure you're not related?" Kyle asked. I shrugged.

"I know what I'm told." I answered disinterested.

"Maybe my dad will know something, let's go see him at work." Stan announced. I sighed as the four assholes walked off my step. I followed close behind as I listened to Cartman bitch.

"Hey! I gotta get home butt fuckers, I'm starving and Terrance and Phillip is on soon!"

Randys POV –

Stan and some of his friends piled into the geomentry lab. I smiled to greet the five boys.

"Dad…. We have something to show you and you need to be honest with us." Stan explained. I nodded as I watched the boy in the blue chullo lift his hat. I stared upon him and shook my head.

"I was hoping this day would never come." I breathed out slowly. The boy replaced his hat and stood before me with Stan.

"What dad?!" My son pestered. I swallowed hard. It was now of never and the boys deserved to know.

"Stan… you were a twin. Your mother carried the both of you, but, we knew we couldn't handle the responsibility of two babies in the house. So back then we were close friends with the Tuckers, Mrs Tucker couldn't get pregnant so we offered her the baby born two minutes after the first. They accepted and we even got a lawyer involved and the contract was signed, we honestly thought you'd never find out. Forever living blissfully in the lie we created for you." I explained. The boys remained silent.

"So you mean to tell me, I'm Craig Marsh?" The other boy asked. I shook my head.

"No… if we had've kept you, you would've been Stephen." I chirped.

The boy didn't blink or utter another word, we began walking away.

"Where you going pussy?" The fat kid growled.

The other turned to us and flipped the bird.

"This is just too much to handle, I'm going home to my parents and I'm going to pretend this never happened." He stated before exiting the lab.

I turned and smiled sheepishly into the unimpressed expressions of the other kids.

"So….how's your day been so far?" I inquired, receiving sighs as the boys began piling out of the lab.

I sat resuming my work. That hadn't went at all how I'd expected it. On that day I decided, if Stan ever asked me a question again I'd either send him to Sharon for answers or simply lie. The truth was too confusing and that's how it was always going to be in South Park.