FREAK ON THE LEASH...
--Female Hitokiri Battousai
--R- rated for mature themes and language.
--Based under the neglected fic: Power of Love (Remake)
Synopsis: The sweetest flower that blows, I give to him as we part, for him it is a black rose, for me it is my heart.
(Internal synopsis: Kamiya Kaoru, a typical Ms. Goodie-goodie, assigned herself a psychology project, one in which it meant to rehabilitate the mind of the school's worst bad-boy punk, Kenshin Himura. Problem is, when the project is over, does that mean the emotions built are over as well?)
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-- Chapter 1- Burning in me…
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"HIMURA BATTOUSAI has something you can't learn and you can't buy, something you can't acquire through muscles or method acting lessons. He has an on-screen radiance that seems effortless, a presence that makes him impossible not to watch, and a substance that his fellow multitasking colleagues sorely lack. He's got it all people!" whispered an amber eye boy sadly…his beautiful eyes so symphonic with hate. This young boy, who sat all alone in the mortal sadness of his heart, had but more than tears and those ugly scars to offer; He was an impatient beauty, but a beauty nevertheless.
He sighs lowering his eyes in thought--
"At least that was what, I wanted to be known as…" he trailed off, tracing the wet black-kohl on him eyes. Trailing his sparkling eyes that were filled with silver to the picture of his parents, he cringed at the memory of never being there to save them. To be that hero he long he be. Tracing his mother's face, he whispered with gut dread, "I loved you so bad and yet, I still seem to shit up everything…" he paused to growl at the weakling tears falling from his eyes, "I forced myself through another day, and I can't believe I'm standing here today. Everything is as what was yesterday. Nothing changes, the walls are still black and curtains are still grey. Everything is still cold and nobody seems to hear me---nobody hears me call."
Sitting in the quiet dark room where shadows became his only company picking and reading him soul inside out, Himura Battousai became something that the world toyed and convulsed. His life, once good, was now deprived of light and insatiably soiled by dark threads. Lying on the floor that smelt like dead rats and alcohol, Himura Battousai lied stagnantly reflecting his whole life before his very eyes as black tears fell in free accordance. The world only threw dark angels at him who abused his heart and claimed his bed from holy innocence to black-satin sins.
His face, a beautiful touch made by God, was now a mask of Satan himself, where it was decorated each day in tears, in pains, in scars no one could touch. How is a man to heal himself if his scars can never be seen, can never be cleaned? And every hand that has ever touched his face was taken to his bed in an unholy manner, where dreams as dark as night plays his body. At a young age, Himura Battousai walked with something more than mommy's little man, he walked with a weighing sin that became heavier and heavier with each resolution and breath he made. As far as he knew, the only thing he did well in this world was endure the pain he got from each sin he committed. His body already broken mentally and physically begged to find death in easy means. He tried giving up, yet for some odd reason tomorrow seem to be a next day, where one, shit could happen, and two he could go on living. Life was not as simple as said, probably the simplest thing to do was be counseled by the life of shadows, asking them for advice to problems he created.
He knew he made his pains what they were, but to say that to himself would mentally destroy him. Pulling himself together, he scuttled to his feet looking at the cold dead moon. Just like everything in his world, Battousai saw most things in a black and white manner, where pictures were slow and life was dreary. A world he created in his head, would one day be the same world he would die in.
Perfect geometrical slit eyes of an Asian, rose serpentine as wicked-electric amber eyes looked back at him coldly from his mirror. Such eyes were framed by dark enrich kohl that weighed him from innocence to darkness. He became something of a monster and freak, both at the same time. He killed everything he loved by throwing each memory away for this wretched life of thorns and broken glass. Something that cut his soul, shredding it into pieces. The still present shards of his life already tear at him heart's most sensitive memories and before he'd know it, he'd be succumbed to loneliness and pain. Battousai couldn't believe he became the fears of his mother and father. Closing his eyes tightly he found the scream that lay deep in lungs so hard not to contain. Fluttering his eyes he saw something of both beast and beauty.
"Why am I so freaking assed up?" he shouted, his veins on his neck showing from his intense scream. His face turned a shade of red as he felt the anger take him.
Slamming his hands against the mirror a huge crack rippled across. On each cracked piece of the mirror, he saw smaller faces of himself. Tears alas after so long fell. Each tear of anger a representation that his soul was breaking and becoming part of the nothing.
Battousai pulled his hands back seeing the huge splurge of blood. Shouting out in pain, he leaned forward letting all his tears and blood fall to the floor like flowers. Each becoming something he wished he didn't have.
'Something takes a part of me, something lost and never seen, every time I start to believe, something shitty happens to me. Life's always gonna be messing with me trying to see a part of me that I know I'm trying to protect. Everyone jams my senses, pulls at my heart's mask, befriending and loving me all in attempt to bring me down. There's nothing nicer than freedom but I don't get that---I don't get that illusion. I can't even take away this pain, this one I created, I tried so many times and I simply keep failing---failing.'
'So I try giving my body second resorts.'
With no religion, no home, nothing to call mine, I simply watch my days become an awaking nightmare. Finding no one to talk to and help me cry all my flaws, I gave into the side of darkness. Sometimes I wish I could wake up from this nightmare, begging the world to stop being a knife down my throat.
Realize that I can never win in this game call life, sometimes its feels like I've only failed. Inside where do I begin my mind is laughing at me, tell me why am I to blame, isn't everyone suppose to be the same, that's why I will never change this thing that's burning in me.
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Author Notes: If you should know, I didn't actually make a fanfiction, its just the real purposeful idea for 'Power of Love.' I got inspired by my friend Sandra, who is a great teenage girl with so much going for her. The idea came from her, since she showed me a part of her I never seen. I took this as an advantage and in a sense I dedicate this fanfiction to teenagers who think they can't turn over from their bad side.
This fanfiction is very similar to 'Lying from You.' Except where Kaoru was the bad girl who was effortlessly tortured, its Battousai who is tortured in this fic.
Well I'm so happy to do the fanfiction the right way, and I really hope you guys liked it. It's dark, but life isn't silvery bells and cotton-candies. It's not a dramatized darkness either, but to some people—to some teens it is. And I was once like that.
So thank you so much for reading. You guys rock and I love all of you.
(Hugssss)
Okay, so take care.
A most blessed day to each and all. May Jesus be with guys!
Please review…