Alright, this is an updated story. It originally had no lemons, but then I decided "you know, fuck it". This story contaisn two lemons, it will be marked.
Enjoy!
CHAPTER ONE: WHAT HAPPENED SINCE
I'm back again, the good ol' crazy, gun shootin', gutter mouthin' American with his Gardevoir wife and fine Blaziken friend. I'll start back about four years ago when it happened; I was thrown into the Pokémon world, met Midori as a Ralts, met Bender as a Blaziken, and also met Heleva when she was a Zorua.
After the attack of the Greninja attack, I started to collect other Pokémon that I could use for some fighting, and I did. It worked pretty well, until Bedner and Heleva had the second kid, then I decided to throw the whole damn family into one ball and removed Midori's ownership. This kind of helped for a short few weeks, until of course I added on Edward.
Now Edward was a pain in the ass when he came out after the first three weeks. He was slightly annoying me when trying to do something, asked too many fucking questions about why I ain't a Pokémon, and even pulled the big question out, 'why did me and his mother do it?'
Thank God he stopped doing that after he evolved into a Kirlia, now he fights way better and I don't need to listen to the constant yapping. Then Midori had our daughter, Rose, last year, and she was better, well somewhat. She is still a Ralts but, she is one very fucked up Ralts, in the head at least.
Now I didn't stop with Edward because he decided to become a Gallade and I agreed with it. Now of course I'm not going to be hard working and pay for the evolving stone so, I traveled a couple of regions over, and located one of Ash's friends, Max. He had a Gallade and he had that evolve stone, so I robbed his ass and flew all the way back and gave to Edward as a birthday present. See, I'm not that mean?
However, when Edward evolved, I think my genetics kicked in as his hair and arms were Dark green, like a piece of molding clay. He also grew a mustache similar to mine which only had, if correctly counted, around 80-90 hairs there, but people would think he is a genetic defect. I would look at them and say, "If he's a genetic defect, you're a retard", and people walk off usually pissed.
Some of my old habits of shooting Teams and robbing have been "willingly" lowered as Midori didn't like how I kept on stealing things from nearby stores. Edward somewhat agrees, but I found him stealing off someone's custom luxury Pokéball and a mega evolve stone for his species. I laughed and told him, "Apparently stealing is in the blood now."
Midori wasn't happy, but we arranged to see even if it worked with him. So after a test run, I concluded that he looked total badass. The cape he had, along with the bold Italian mustache, and the sharp as fuck arm blades made him look like a badass criminal. Now With Midori, I gave her the pair of the mega evolve gems, I stole the first time around, as an anniversary gift. I had it put into a necklace type which made her definitely better than before and she adored it and it definitely became something as we tested it out. Her gown grew longer and into strips, like a Kirlia, the crystal split in two and one interesting feature that I didn't know she had was that the crystal somehow went orange. She later explained to me that her father was a shiny orange, which made some sense, but I didn't give a shit, not did I?
Bender was still the same, we cursed at each other, pulled crappy pranks, had our wives pull us apart or throw something at us to get our attention. I gave the guy a pair of those mega evolve gems a present explaining to him that I'm not going to be the shitty trainer he got replaced by a weaker thing. Now I looked like one of those guys with three different watches on his right arm, but at least I can kick people's asses.
Speaking of that, I won the Kalos championship two years in a row after creating a new move for Heleva and Midori, cloak. I explained to both of them that it was a Star Trek idea and that it would work if they put their energy to it. It took 8 months but, it paid off.
Right now after those four years, I became a gym owner of the "Little Italy Gym", where the badges are Ferengi Symbols. Along with the gym, I decided to let some of my Pokémon go, mainly because they actually failed my expectations, not that it thought they sucked, I mean, would you keep a Blastoise that lost to a fucking fire ape?
The family I have right now consists of me, Midori, Edward, and Rose; Bender and Heleva have their Zorua son, Arenmo, and their Combusken daughter, Pella. One more thing before I go, is that after those four long, rich, usual as crap years, I decided to set up a vacation plan for everyone to go, but where? I decided to set it up in the newer region, the Aloha Region.