If You're Not Here
A/N: Waah it's been a long time since I last wrote a story, but I wrote this because I haven't written something like this before and this is also my first SM fanfic. It's sort of UsagixMamoru and UsagixSeiya. Slightly AU, maybe? It's a lot shorter than my other stories, but I hope you enjoy! :)
Tell me how I'm supposed to breath with no air,
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there
It's no air, no air.
- Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown, No Air
It's taken over her whole body; she finds herself shivering, even though it's a humid summer evening; her hands are itching to link with the pair it's become accustomed to over the years; this feeling around her chest, tightening slowly, a belt made from heartbreak and despair, that nobody can see and yet, leaves a physical scar of sadness and tears.
It's slowly closing in around her; this feeling is binding her, suffocating her, taking her somewhere where she might never come back from.
Torturing her.
Where's his warm touch against her skin, the one that can instantly wipe away any hurt? Where's the tickle of his hair on her bare neck, the only thing that can giver her goosebumps and pleasure? Where's that proverbial scent that brings with it security and safety?
Where is he?
She finds herself gasping for breath, her throat tightening; was this room always so small? Her eyesight's becoming blurred; were her cheeks always this wet? Suddenly, she lurches forward uncontrollably; agony: why does it feel like heart's being ripped apart?
She opens her mouth, trying to salvage any form of noise that would signify that she needed help and this time, it works; this time, a scream, expressing a dust sized amount of the agony she's experiencing.
But of course, the one she wants can't come. She understands; after all when he's halfway around the world, it's impossible to think one scream could bring him back, and yet, she does anyway; she continues to scream, crescendoing until finally, he bursts into her room: Seiya.
He's come to check on her, having not seen her for so long. Turns out her family have been away; this he found out from calling her house phone plenty of times. Apparently, she was the only one who stayed behind, having watched her figure in her bedroom from outside of her house every night and now, she was obviously in great pain, her shouting being so loud that it passed through the walls of the house. And suddenly, he had no control of his body; he knew where the spare key was kept after seeing Usagi use it plenty of times on the occasions when he walked her home. He grabs it out of it's hiding place and fumbling, places it into the keyhole, his brain no longer controlling his movements, bur rather his heart. Bursting into the house, he rushes upstairs, ready to charge into her room and comfort her, but he stops at her doorway.
She doesn't lift her head from her position on the bedroom floor, even though she must have heard him, if not from his entrance then from his breathing, panting from a mixture of rushing and anxiety; her body is still furled up, arms and legs entangled like a barrier, Usagi's vain attempt to make this aching less intense, but to no avail. No longer is she screaming, but muffled sobbing takes its place and it hurts him.
The same way her chest heaves with every sob, the same way she gulps air down because it's difficult to breathe, the way she's still trying to scream out the name of the person she wants; Seiya's knows: knows that she's like this because she loved too much, because she fell too hard, because she's heartbroken by the absence of the one she loved the most.
He walks over to her and slowly, untangles her arms and legs and gently picks her up, like a father does to his child whose fallen asleep in the wrong place and must now be moved. He takes a seat on her bed, but still, he does not let her down, cradling her, no longer a sixteen year old, but a six year old, a bundle of quivering misery.
The unfamiliar warmth is uncomfortably soothing and Usagi finds herself snuggling into Seiya's chest, openly pouring out her pain as her weeping makes her body shake uncontrollably. He comforts her, the only thing he can do at this moment, because he himself knows the anguish of a broken heart, and so, he stays there with her, for as long as he can because, even though he knows this will only add to his pending desolation, it may be the only time he will ever be able to hold his love like this ever again and with that thought, one became two, silent tears seeping from his eyes as he cradled the only one who had the ability to both stop them and cause them.