Chapter 1 - Gender Abidance

"What. The. Hell."

Those three words could be heard from a short, hot-tempered someone in the middle of a room.

"Seriously, who did this?!" The person asked again, standing up in the darkness. Suddenly, a bright white spotlight shone on them.

"I did, of course!" was the bubbly answer from what seemed like inches from the first person's ear.

"Where and who the hell are you?" The blond asked. "Why'd you do—"

"Ed!" Alphonse cried suddenly, before the hollow chinking of his armor body could be heard bounding towards the shorter of them.

"Al…?" Ed started weakly. "Al! Get away! You don't want to know what they…she…it did to me! Go while you still can!"

"No, Ed, it's okay, I know what happened…don't worry about me." The younger (though older-looking) of the two then came into view of the other, who was only somewhat recovered from the initial glare of the spotlight.

"You do?" Ed asked, surprised. "Then tell me who…who did this to me! And why!"

Al was quiet for a moment, which seemed an eternity to Ed. "I'm sorry, but…I can't tell you."

Although Ed could sense Al's hesitance, there was still the somewhat betrayed feeling.

"What do you mean you can't tell me, Al? I'm still your—"

"No, Ed," he began, sighing, then sitting on the floor. "I'm under an oath…it'd be against the law."

Ed nearly fell over from laughter. "What do you mean by that? Since when are we prime examples of law-abiding citizens? Besides, what kind of law would keep you from telling me—"

"The law of copyright and infringement!" The mysterious girl's voice said again. Both of the people there jumped in surprise. She'd sounded so close, but they couldn't see her, so she must have been in their heads. But that was just…

"Yes, Ed, I'm in your head! Good child, have a cookie."

…impossible.

"Who are you, already?" Ed yelled out again, furious and fully aware that he could have simply thought that exclamation.

"Oh, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell—no! I'm fine, you don't have to…no, get away, I—"

"Stop it, Jane, you knew I'd only be gone a little—"

"MY NAME'S NOT JANE! It's Desanti!"

"Yeah, right…whatever you say. Either way, Jane, you can't just up and take over when I—"

"Okay, seriously, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

The second mysterious voice gave a small cough. "Well, you see, Edward…Jane here—"

"DESANTI!" She screeched, before her receding footsteps could be heard.

"…ahem. As I was saying, Jane came and took over a bunch of my stuff, and I just got back, so we started bickering…I'm so sorry about that. And my name's Sam."

"So," Ed started, "it's her that…that…did this to me?" It was obvious that Ed was straining not to blow up at them again.

"I'm sorry, what? …oh no, no, that was me."

"WHAT?!" Ed hadn't bothered to suppress the outburst this time.

"Are you saying that you're the one that turned me into a…a girl?"

"Um...yes."

AN: That is the first of it all. I'm doing this whenever I get a random story idea...yup. It's genius, I tell you!

Anyway, so if anyone cares enough to want me to expand any of these into a full-length fic (if applicable) then it shall be done. However, at the moment, I just want reassurance that I haven't gone completely insane.

Now I ask of you the ever-important request: review if you've read it!