Title: Fate of the Dying
AN: I really do not know what prompted me to write this but this had been stored in my computer for quite some time now and decided to try posting it as one shot. Hope you'll like it though.
Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.
The man stood beside his captain as they watched her trying her best to stand up. It had been fifty years after Winter War and nothing much have changed. Some grew up. Some remained the same. Other strong Shinigami emerged following Winter War.
A few from the old school survived but they left some hard lessons to those who were following their footsteps. General Yamamoto had long since passed away in their last attempt to finish Aizen while giving room for the Soul Soceity's hero to prepare for a counterattack.
Even the captain of the 13th squad had taken severe damages from Wonderweiss till his last fight against Aizen. Only two were left among those who lived for more than two or three hundred years. The remaining Vizards had since resided in the human world, helping out the substitute Shinigami.
A few died from the group, the first which was Hiyori. He remembered Urahara looking so very desperate then, his face so full of agony. Of course many else had given up their lives for the sake of humanity, of peace. Even that snake of a captain had actually helped out and aided them in the last minute of battle and died in the process while protecting Rangiku.
Soul Society saw tranquility in the years following the Winter War. Of course there are still Hollows to hunt down but that was carved as part of the cycle of life. As long as Shinigami exists, so does Hollows. But there were no more threats though.
And both Karakarukara as well as Soul Society had long since been enjoying the peaceful quiet resulting from the war which shed so many bloods and tears.
"You really should not move so much," he snapped from his senses upon hearing his captain's voice. He took a glance and saw him standing there with his usually stoic face but years of serving under him made him understand the noble more.
He cared for his sister so deeply. No matter how cold he acted towards her, in the inside, he is just one caring brother. And perhaps it was for that reason that he decided to continue serving under him as his vice-captain. He was offered one of the vacant seats along with Ikkaku, Shuhei, Rangiku and Kira but he politely declined, stating he'd rather serve under the command of one named Kuchiki Byakuya.
"N-nii-sama, Re-Renji," she stammered and tried to smile and it was that smile that brought memories back into his mind. Memories of so many years ago…one that lived within him and continued to live within him…the memory of his childhood before they both decided to become Shinigami.
"What's this, you've been way too stubborn in the years that passed following that war, Rukia," Renji said with a forced smile. He wondered if Ichigo had ever wondered about what's happening here. He stopped visiting the place after Winter war, stating everything is over and so is his job as Substitute Shinigami.
But who could blame him anyway? Everyone wishes for a normal life.
Him and Rukia had also stopped going there not because they wanted to but because they have no reason to. It was Ichigo who had severed the bonds albeit regretfully. It was something no one begrudged him. After all, it was them who have messed up his life to begin with.
Rukia sat up and coughed. "Sorry. I just thought I'd like to go for a walk," she murmured and Renji glanced at Byakuya to see him slowly looking down as if he remembered something from the past. He wondered how he is able to cope up with this.
The noble took the steps towards her and fell on his knees while his hands grasped hers in infinite affection that was so rarely seen from him. Even Renji had to blink to make sure he was not imagining it.
"Rukia," he murmured her name and said woman who now grew up from being a midget smiled at him as well, returning that infinite affection between brothers.
"Nii-sama…"
"I can arrange it for you," he whispered. "Besides, no one forbade you to do it."
For the following moments, she was staring at him with her beautiful eyes – but the pair of eyes held her gratefulness for everything he had done for her.
"Arigato, nii-sama," she whispered and coughed out again while her brother supported her. After regaining her strength once more, she glanced up at him once again. "For everything you did for me."
Renji looked away, unable to stand the sight of Rukia crying. Whenever she does, all he did was clenched his fists in controlled emotion.
Ah, that was Rukia after Winter War. She still has that courage and strength within her – but she lost herself as well, wondering and questioning if things would go back to normal for her. While everyone lived normally, for Rukia, she thought she was missing something.
And he knew it was Ichigo.
But Central 46 had forbidden anyone from using Senkaimon unless it was necessary or unless authorized. It's not like he did not do anything. He tried actually. But she lost hope. And he wondered if he would be blaming Ichigo for it.
The smile that Ichigo brought to her was lost.
"Go take a walk," Byakuya later spoke again and for the first time, openly kissed his sister's forehead. They remained in that position for a moment. "And when you can, please come back."
She nodded. Byakuya turned to Renji. "Renji," their eyes met and all the redhead could do is nod his head. He walked towards the two and turned around before falling in one knee.
"Hop on," he said.
What he could do for her now is to stay by her and would sometimes do what that idiot does like carrying her piggyback style. "Arigato."
He nodded and stood up. He looked over his shoulder to have a look at his captain. "We're going ahead, taichou."
"Ah."
And for Byakuya, it was all he could do now. To watch them walk out of her room.
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.
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He kept glancing up at the sky as if he could see her there. He did something terrible fifty years ago. It was something he was not able to amend. With his hands behind his neck, he lied down on the roof to watch the orange sky.
It had become a hobby for him for the past fifty years. To just look up at the sky as if he could see her. Oddly though, all he ever saw are the clouds as they continuously drift apart. Ironically, it was something that happened between him and the Soul Society. They have drifted apart by his own choosing.
"I wonder how nee-san looks like," Kon spoke as he sat beside him.
"She must have grown taller now," he answered casually. Kon and the rest of his friends had been asking him why he suddenly severed the bonds, why he never wanted to have anything to do with the Shinigami anymore.
There was no deep reason actually. It's just that he wanted to rest after his fight against Ulquiorra. He does not want to fight anymore and knew that to achieve that is to defeat the last enemy.
"Why don't you go up and see her?" a black cat jumped down.
"Yoruichi-san."
"At least tell her you never intended to sever your bond with her," she suggested and looked up as well, a glaze look in her eyes. "Or if you really intended that from the start, tell her why."
"Why are you telling me that only now?" Ichigo sat up and looked at the distance. He could see the setting sun from this place.
Yourichi turned and started to leave. "Dunno. Maybe because you might regret if forever."
With that, she jumped away, leaving him confused for a little while before looking up once again. She's right though, he might regret it if he never corrected that foolishness and rashness way back. He needed to tell her that.
"What are you going to do now, Ichigo? You still want to wallow? You realized that even with you severing your bonds with them, you can never live a normal life again. You can never change the fact that you're still a Shinigami and proof of that is you never aged. Your nakama had long since aged and left you looking young."
It was rare for Kon to suddenly speak so long so he gave him a weird look before standing up, his one hand grabbing Kon's face. "Let's go. I bet you want to see her as much as I do, neh?"
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Rukia rested her head on his back as Renji walked on. "It's so peaceful," she murmured close to his ears.
"Ah."
"Don't you want to be a captain, Renji?" she asked in whisper as they stepped out of the Kuchiki mansion. She had always been wondering why. She had an idea but she wanted to hear it from him.
"Heh, a captain huh?" Renji said in a chuckle and tilted his head to look at her before walking once again, his face serious this time. "When you were taken in by the Kuchiki and met your brother, I'd sworn to myself that I would defeat him one day. Until that dream is realized, I will remain his vice-captain."
He sighed and walked on, his eyes looking ahead. There are so many things he wanted to say to her but he could not find the right words and does not know how to tell it anyway. Rukia…she had always been the source of his strength and resolve just as she was to Ichigo before. And he could not fathom what would happen to him if she goes away.
"Trouble?" she asked, noticing how quiet he became.
"Nah, just thinking," he answered. "It had been many years. I wonder how they are doing down there."
It was the first time in so many years that they talked about their human friends. "You wondered about it too, didn't you?"
He felt her nod. "Ah."
He screwed his eyes and sighed. "That idiot. Whatever happened to him in Hueco Mundo that he gave up his sword?"
"I wondered about that too but I guess I will never have the answers for it, neh?" she stated. "Hueco Mundo huh? It's where I met the one who took Kaien's spirits. It was then where it started for Ichigo. The change. Whatever happened there after his fight with against Ulquiorra and later on against Aizen changed what was inside him."
Renji was quiet once again and stopped when they saw their comrades who fought with them before. They were actually leaning on the walls and waited. Even the captain of the 10th squad was there.
"Ikkaku, Hitsugaya-taichou, Rangiku, Shuhei, Kira, Momo, and Yumichika," Renji spelled out their names. "What are you guys doing here?"
The ice captain shrugged. "We have time to spare and decided to drop by. Guess the two of you are out for a walk eh?"
"A-Ah,"
Rukia lifted her head and smiled at the group. They became close after that war. Everyone was relying on each other for support, emotional, physical etc. "Mina."
"Ah, you look pale again, Rukia-chan," Rangiku muttered and sighed.
Rukia only smiled. "I – I wanted to have a walk and nii-sama allowed me so…"
They nodded their heads in unison as if they understood. Renji nodded as well and walked passed them. "Neh Rukia-chan," Momo called.
"Eh?"
"I really hope I could see that smile once more."
But they got no answer when they realized she suddenly fell asleep again. Renji turned to them. "Guess she didn't hear that. I hope she did. Mah, we're going."
"Where to?"
Renji was silent for a moment. "I don't know."
And in the end or perhaps he had known a little of it, they both ended up from where they came from. Since it was getting dark, there were few souls around. He glanced from left to right as he felt her awaken again.
"This is…"
"Ah…where we met," he started. Rukia opened her eyes and glanced around and as if both sharing thoughts, they saw themselves so many, many years ago. Stealing foods, water…and finally, Rukia coming up to save them – then their friends passing away one by one until they finally decided to enter the Shinigami schoo…
"Rukia…there are so many things I wanted to say but I wish I could find the words," he spoke, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. "I…I never thought…one day…"
He felt her smile from behind. "It's alright, Renji. Everything will be alright, okay?"
"But – "
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice falling low. "For being by my side like nii-sama, for always being there…for trying to do your best to protect me…for bringing me here…"
"Rukia…"
"There are many things I want to say as well, you know, but the best I could find is "thank you" and sorry."
Renji bowed his head. "Baka. Why are you apologizing? There is nothing to be sorry about."
"There is…it's the fact that I – " she coughed.
"Oi, don't talk anymore."
"Renji."
"What?"
"Will you take me…to where it started for me…?"
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He stared at Urahara in shock. "W-What?"
"You didn't become senile have you?" Urahara asked as he stood up. "I said, it's about time you go before it's too late."
"…"
"Rukia is dying."
He wanted to counter his claim but it was as if his tongues were tied. All he could do is stare at him in shock while feeling numb.
"Rukia…is…dying?" he choked before his face became furious. "What kind of joke is that?" he asked dangerously and grabbed his front shirt. Urahara held his wrist however, his eyes, so serious.
"Did I ever joke like that? What are you angry for now? Is it because you were not informed?"
Slowly, he released his hold and clenched his fists tightly while Kon merely listened, his own heart feeling the pain. "If anything, you should be angry at yourself for being a coward, for killing that Espada and Aizen…for being so weak to accept what happened that you rashly severed your bonds with them leaving no explanations why. For not able to accept that you killed someone. But for the love of God, that's a battle Ichigo – a battle where many died on our side too all for the sake of the greater good. You should have known that beforehand when you chose to draw your sword and protect what was yours."
"I have no time for talks,' Ichigo finally said calmly. "Open the gates for me. I'm going there."
Ichigo spun and was at the door when Urahara spoke again. "I wonder, if Yoruichi did not tell you to go there, would you have thought about it?"
"I don't know."
And he stilled at the feeling of someone's presence.
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.
.
"Nah, Renji…"
"Hmm?"
Her voice was becoming low every minute, it's even evident that she was only forcing herself to speak, forcing her eyes to remain open.
"I'm glad…to have met you all…and fought alongside you."
"Oi, don't speak as if you're go – "
He stepped out of the gate and stood above, his eyes on the town that changed so much in appearance. "You and Ichigo…you're so much alike…live strong…I won't be able to pull you both back when you feel down…"
"Rukia don't – "
"Even if it's changed, it still looks the same for me…" her eyes slowly closed. "I'm…thankful…you're a good friend…and I have so much fun when I met you all, nii-sama, the other Shinigami…Orihime, Ishida, Chad…" she made an effort to smile once again. "Don't blame Ichigo for…"
"Oi, hang on Ru – " when he tilted his head to glance at her, she was already asleep for eternity and her one hand dropped to one side, something falling from it. " –kia."
He bowed his head. There was no need telling him she's gone the moment they've stepped foot into this world. She had been fighting that sleepiness if only to come here for the last time, hoping they could reach the others for the last time. To have a glance at what became her second home.
He was not even aware he's crying hard already. "Rukia," he spoke as if she could still hear him. "If there's someone who should be grateful – it should be us. I swear, I…I…damn it…why'd you have to go?" he howled as that piece of paper touched the ground below and someone picked it up.
And upon hearing that howl, she glanced up and no words are needed to tell her what happened or who they were. Clutching the front of her chest, all she could do now is to cry as the piercing pain ripped through her.
"Orihime."
She fell on her knees and glanced at him while he adjusted his glasses. He was with Chad as well and they all looked up, watching the particles dancing in the air. It looked so beautiful as they rise above.
"RUKIA!!!"
"They came…o-only…for her to g-go?" Orihime asked and buried her face in her hands while both men looked up to see Ichigo finally arriving up there. "It's so unfair."
He could swear the time stopped for him when he felt her reiatsu fading away as he moved closer in. and that was the time he saw Renji standing there, the particles dancing behind him in a beautiful glow.
"N-No way…" was all he could mutter. He was too late…his apology came too late…and it did not even reach her…
Those who knew Rukia deeply felt it as well. The presence that suddenly vanished. Byakuya was standing beside the pond and looked up with misty eyes. To think that Rukia would die the same way Hisana did…and there was nothing he could do…not even Unohana could heal her…
"Guess you were not coming back at all, Rukia," he spoke and closed his eyes.
The group whom Renji and Rukia met outside the mansion stared above as well…they felt that sudden chill…the wind wafting their faces then suddenly gone…
"She's gone…"
Toshirou closed his eyes. To think that someone like Rukia could have a powerful presence that it affected everyone…even when she died in the human world…her passing was felt by the others here…she's one extraordinary woman…
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"Have a peaceful passing, Rukia," were Renji's final words before Ichigo came.
"It can't be…" Ichigo muttered as he stared at the remaining particles, while Renji screwed his eyes shut. Ichiog still held the look of disbelief when finally Renji snapped out from it and turned to him with a bitter smile.
"You came eh?" he asked bitterly as the Senakaimon gate opened up. What he and Rukia came here for was already accomplished and he had nothing more to do in this place. Rukia had a peaceful passing. With her gone, Renji saw no point remaining here any longer.
There was a tensed silence between the two as Ichigo tried to digest everything and as Renji walked away.
"Nee-san!!!" Kon's cry of anguish actually broke the steely silence and Renji bowed his head once more, his hands finally trying to stop the tears that kept gashing out.
"Thank you…that's her message for you," he finally said.
"Renji…it can't be…t-that wasn't Rukia," Ichigo said in denial and though Renji wanted to get angry with him, he does not want to. Ichigo would be having a hard time dealing with this since he never saw Rukia for many, many years already.
"You felt it, you saw it," he only said. "Don't deny it to yourself, Kurosaki. Besides, why are you here? Haven't you severed the bonds?" he could not help but throw those words at him. Though he said he could not get angry with him, the rush of emotion still allowed him to talk that way.
"Why didn't anyone come tell me about it?!!!" Ichigo demanded angrily and the question brought Renji back as the gate was about to close. His grieving eyes were replaced with anger as his hands grabbed Ichigo's kimono and gave him a jab.
"You bastard! How dare you demand such a thing! You think you're so high and mighty that even with you severing all the bonds we had, you expect us to come crawling at your doorstep?" Anger mixed with grief made his voice crack as Ichigo stared him in the eye with a defeated look. "Aren't you just looking for someone or anyone to blame for being misinformed?"
Releasing him harshly, Renji clenched his fist. "You don't even deserve to know," he spat and finally entered as the gate closed in leaving Ichigo dumbfounded, unable to recover from the shock of it.
If Yoruichi had not come, would he have bothered to decide going to see to her?
"Rukia…" he could only utter her name now. That's all there was for him to do…to utter her name…unable to say anything at all…to even say sorry to the closest Shinigami he ever bonded with…unable to even talk to Renji about it…
"Nee-san…is…gone?" Kon asked with a sob as he stared above.
Ichigo only bowed his head before his hands covered it and he howled to the moon – his howl full of grief, devastation, anger…and most of all, regret. "RUKIA!"
Orihime down below could only cry for him, Ishida and Chad could only look away in silent grief. Yoruichi and Urahara could only listen as they stood nearby. Surprisingly, the remaining Vizards appeared below as they stood beside the two…
It was a sign of respect they could only give to a Shinigami…
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Karin and Yuzu worried over their brother as he only sat at his window ledge day and night, staring blankly at the sky as if he alone could see someone there. He never left that place ever since he returned a night ago.
And according to Orihime, he was in shock. It took a while before they understood what caused the numbness in his mind. A death of a nakama…a neglected nakama…
Ichigo had counted the countless stars since a night ago, his eyes were already dried from tears…he had shed his tears for her…but he knew it would never be enough to compensate for his mistake…for suddenly abandoning his friendship with them for no particular reason at all.
"Pretty hard ain't it?"
Someone appeared and sat beside him. Ichigo did not glance at the newcomer but continued counting the stars. Shinji sighed. To see the Winter War hero so suddenly broken is something unexpected. "There was no one to blame but you."
His words were harsh and it pierced through Ichigo but still, he did not speak. "If you had not done what you did, you might have all the time to stand by her until her last moment. Fact though is you were such a coward to accept that you killed some people though they are not to be considered to be humans in the first place."
"Neh…Shinji…"
"Hmm?"
"What is the fate of those who died?"
"Dunno. Some say they are reborn into someone else. No one can really tell…"
"I see…"
"You can only move forward and continue living Kurosaki. That's the fate of those who remained," Shinji advised before he jumped down to the awaiting remaining Vizards and the group walked away, strolled around the area as it became their hobby.
Ichigo watched until their silhouettes disappeared in sight then he gazed up, his aggrieved eyes filled with longing – the feeling he had suppressed for fifty years in his stubbornness not to be involved with Shinigami anymore.
He could only continue to live while regretting that one moment he spoke those words fifty years ago. He could only continue to move forward. Jumping down from the ledge, he took a pen and marked a certain date in the calendar.
Below it he wrote something to remind himself of why he was feeling this way – never forget Winter War. And he never would, he supposed. Besides, he could not say that meeting Rukia the Shinigami had no merits. It had. In fact, lots of them.
It only happened that his resolve that time was so weak that he blamed them for changing his routine life of simply being a badass student who could see ghost.
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A woman's cry of pain could be heard from the other side of the room as the husband paced the hall back and forth, his heart so worried for his wife. Not a few seconds later after her final scream, the door opened and the doctor who helped came out with a soft smile.
"Dr. Kurosaki, how is she?" he asked the doctor who was not in-charge in the area but was the one who actually helped since they rushed into the hospital at an ungodly hour with no available doctors around.
He waved his hand a little before motioning inside. "You should probably go inside."
Said man rushed in immediately and stood frozen in the middle of the room as he watched the sight of his wife cradling their newborn baby. The wife looked up with a gentle look as the baby started to cry. "Ain't she an angel?" she asked her husband who nodded since he could not speak at the moment, a lump filling his throat.
In his hearts of hearts, he felt a gentle hand washed through him at the sight of the small baby starting to settle down while the mother simply cradled her. Slowly he walked towards her and stood over his wife and bent low to have a sight of the angelic face.
Eyes opening, the man simply cried in joy as he kissed his wife's forehead. "She had such beautiful eyes like yours…violet."
"What would you name her?"
Husband and wife turned to the door to find the kind doctor leaning on the doorjamb. Then the wife smiled. "She's our ray of light to a marriage about to fall. So we'll name her Rukia."
Kurosaki Isshin tried so hard to hide his surprise at the name mentioned but was still noticed by the husband. "Sir, are you alright?"
Isshin grinned and decided to walk towards them to have a glance at the baby once more. "Yeah. So very fitting," he nodded his agreement in reference to the name. "There was once a good woman too who bore that name. Met my son. Shed light into him."
"Isn't that wonderful? To meet such people?" the wife asked, willing to talk with the doctor. "What happened to her?"
"She went away," he answered vaguely.
"Your son must have been lucky to have met her," she commented.
"Yes," he nodded once more before bending down only to stare at a shocking pair of amethyst eyes. Though I think that son of mine never really knew that. Then slowly, he grinned before standing straight. "Well, congratulations for having the baby."
And he simply walked away. The smile never left his face as he strolled home. Was it too much of a coincidence? He wondered.
All he knew is this: a spirit fades into this world then would reside into another. Such is the fate of the dying. A circle that would always go round and round. Living from one lifetime to another. Meeting different people.
That is the chain of life and death. With the death of one, another is created. It continuously goes on in circle. And so that was why some had thought that they met each other before. Maybe in another lifetime. Memories may have been forgotten but the bond created from one lifetime would not easily be broken.
He sighed and looked up at his son's room from outside. Well, that would be his answer to his son's question to Hirako which he happened to have heard. What is the fate of those who died? Mah, his son has a long life ahead of him. He'll figure out the answer to himself.
Death and life co-exist. Without the other, there is no meaning to it. and so with one's death is another's life.