"Hey Grissom, can you tell Sara I'll come around five. We want to go to the movies, do you want to join us?" Greg asked when he stopped at Grissom's office after he called it a day and decided to go home.
"No. And you don't have to come along."
"She'll come to the cinema right away?" Even better, saved him a detour.
"I doubt that."
"What do you mean?" Greg furrowed his brows. What was his boss talking about? He and Sara wanted to watch this movie, they talked about it for two weeks ago and it was about time they go to the cinema and watch it before it was taken out of the program. Today he had no overtime, no reason to start his shift early, they could enjoy a few hours of movies and a chat in a bar later - without alcohol of course.
"She isn't here anymore."
"I beg your pardon?"
"She left."
"No." Impossible. He saw Sara yesterday, they had late lunch together. She was in Vegas, never said a word about leaving.
"Sorry Greg, she left. Last night."
Slowly he realized, it was true and that it was for Grissom as much as surprise as it was for him. "Oh...why?"
"She can't stay here."
"I'm sorry." Not only for Grissom, also for himself. She was his best friend and left without saying goodbye. Again.
"We can't stop her, can we?"
No, Greg couldn't do anything to stop her, he was in no position to do so. On the other hand, he was sure Grissom could have done something to stop her. How could he let her go? Again. Last year, when Sara left the team without telling anybody about her decision, he was sure it had nothing to do with Grissom and their relationship. Sure, after the whole department knew about their relationship Sara had to change shifts, wasn't too happy about her new shift. She told him a couple of times how much she missed her old team. It was one reason why he joined her on a case, went with her to a crime scene. To be with her, to work with her again. She wasn't the only one who missed the old team.
Now she was gone again and this time it had nothing to do with her work. He knew she was haunted by bad memories, by the cases and the bad things she saw every day. And then she came back to Vegas because Warrick was killed. Their friend. A funeral, a hard time for her, her boyfriend, who was like a father for Warrick. And as it wasn't enough, Sara had to find out that the husband of a victim, whose case she worked years ago, killed his own wife. So he could continue his life. Greg didn't need to be a psychic to know, the last days in Vegas were everything but easy to his friend.
Now she was gone.
We can't stop her, can we? Grissom's words repeated themselves in his ears over and over again. No, they couldn't stop her. It was too late, she was gone. They couldn't stop her, they should have done anything to make her stay.
"When will she come back?"
"I don't know."
"Where did she go to?"
"I don't know."
What do you know? How can you sit here, do your work while the woman you love is away? How could you let her go? There had to be something you could have done to make her stay. So many questions and Greg knew, he wouldn't get an answer to them. And was in no position to ask them. After all, Grissom was his boss and didn't owe him an explanation; especially not about his private life.
"You have to go to the movies alone."
The movie was the smallest problem he had. His friend was gone. "Yeah...I see you tonight."
"Yes." Grissom turned and continued reading the file, he had in his hands. Like nothing had happened, like it was a day like any other day. Like he didn't lose the woman he loved. Again. How could he be this...cold?
Greg shook his head and walked down the hallway. Sara was gone. Again. Again she didn't say goodbye to him. Again he had no idea where she was, when she came back. Again he was left with a lot of questions. But this time he wouldn't accept his position. He wanted answers and he damn well deserved answers! At least to the main questions. They were friends, he considered her as his best friend, he deserved answers.
"Hello Greg." Her voice sounded tired, like she had been awake the whole night, restless. Or traveling? She left Vegas twenty-four hours ago, could be on the other side of the world.
"Sara, I heard you're gone."
"Yes...I'm sorry, I should have told you."
"Yes, you should have." Why pretend he wasn't hurt? It hurt so much. More than she could ever imagine.
"I'm a bad friend, I know. Sorry. The thing was...I couldn't stay longer. Not after...after what happened to Pam. It brought everything back, showed me, life hadn't changed and when I stay in Vegas, I'll be exactly where I was one year ago."
"Where are you?" He needed to know. Was she already out of the country?
"In San Diego."
"Really?" She was in his hometown. Somehow it made him feel like she wasn't that far away. San Diego. When she stayed there for a few days, he could come over.
"Yes. I'll leave the day after tomorrow." So much for his plan to go to San Diego.
"To where?"
"Costa Rica."
"Sara...why didn't you say goodbye?"
"I'm...I'm really bad at saying goodbye. Suck at it."
"A bad goodbye is better than no goodbye at all."
"Sorry."
"Will you come back?"
"I don't know."
"What about Grissom?" What was about him? Didn't she care for him? How he felt?
"Grissom...he'll be fine."
"I won't." Did he really say this?
"Don't make it harder, Greg."
"Sorry, but...it's the truth. I miss you, Sara. I missed you the whole last year. More than you can imagine."
"You're still my best friend, Greggo."
"Doesn't feel like it." He knew he was a little bit unfair but he couldn't help himself. She left him without saying a damn word. She planed to stay in another country and told him, he was her best friend? The way she treated him wasn't the way you were supposed to treat a friend. She treated him like...like he meant nothing to her.
"I'm sorry, Greg."
"So am I."
"Look, I can't change what I did, I can't change what I'm about to do. If I stayed in Vegas, it wouldn't be good for me and I don't want you to see me breaking down. Again. You saw more than you should have last year."
"Can't you stay without being a CSI?" So they could meet. Spend time together. Outside work.
"No, I can't. It will always get me, no matter what I do. It caught me of guard this time, it will do it again."
"So I won't see you again?"
"No, you will see me again."
"When? Where?"
"I don't know."
"Sara..." He had no idea what to say while at the same moment there were words on his tongue, he wanted to say, so much. But he knew it were the wrong words, words that didn't help him. Or her. No, those words would make everything even more complicated. Nothing they needed. "I'd like to keep in contact with you. If that's possible. Please. Please don't vanish out of my life, I...I...I need you."
"I won't vanish out of your life, Greg. I promise I'll send you a text message and an email."
"Every day?" Gosh, he sounded so desperate. But it was exactly how he felt. Desperate. She left him. Again. Now he tried to grab whatever was available to keep her in his life.
"I can't promise you I write you every day, there might be days I've no signal, no internet, but I'll keep in touch whenever it's possible."
"Okay." There was nothing he could do. Keeping in touch was better than nothing, better than last year.
"I need to go, have to book my tickets. Be strong, Greggo, I give you a call tomorrow."
"Don't get picked up by a sailor." He said, trying to sound cheerful while he swallowed hard to hold back tears.
"Me? Never! Go to bed, you'll have a busy night again."
"Yeah." He so didn't care. All he wanted was to drive to San Diego, see her. Work. Work was overrated. All he cared for was in San Diego and the worst part about it was, he couldn't tell her this. To her, they were friends, to him, it was more. It always had been more. Sure, he knew she was engaged, kind of, to Grissom. But what kind of engagement was this? When the man stayed in Vegas and let the woman go to a foreign country? Not trying to stop her, not going with her? Greg was sure, if he was in Grissom's shoes, he'd be with Sara, go with her wherever she wanted them to go.
But he wasn't in Grissom's shoes. He didn't have a choice.